“Lowry is a quiet town. We have our problems, just like anywhere else, but Dalen has lived here for fifteen years and never had anyone so much as say boo to him. Most folks round these parts know his daddy’s the sheriff and those that don’t know the kid is a future hall of famer. No reason for him to run into trouble other than the fact his big brother is home and brought you with him.” She reached for the control on the side of her bed and pushed a button. “Something’s not right.”
I sighed again and struggled to get my toothy armor back in place. She was making it feel impossible, and I hated that my usually cheery faade was so easily navigated around. “I’m sure Church and Jules will figure it out.”
She narrowed her eyes at me and crossed her arms over her narrow chest. “Chipper little thing, aren’t you? Never would have pegged you as Dashel’s type. When he was younger he liked sweet southern girls. Ones that knew how to dress and speak properly. Do you even have a job? Or are you planning on mooching off a military pension for the rest of your life?” She sniffed at me and turned up her nose. The archaic and clearly old-fashioned snub was the last straw. I was done playing nice when she was throwing cheap shot after cheap shot at me and not getting called for a foul.
I put my hands on my hips and cocked my head to the side. “I have a job. I’m a waitress at a bar.” I held up a hand before she could drag my beloved profession through the mud. “Don’t even start with how that isn’t a real job because let me tell you, I make more on a busy weekend than most of the people I know that have degrees. I like working with people. I love my boss, and I never would have met Church if it wasn’t for the bar. I’m never going to own a yacht or be able to afford a vacation in Saint-Tropez with Harry Styles and the Kardashians, but I live a good life and more days than not I’m really happy.” It was my turn to point at her and turn my nose up in her direction. “I understand that you think I somehow kept Church in Denver when you would have preferred him home, but you do realize he is a grown-ass man, a man that served his country, a man that made the choice, be it the right one or the wrong one, to leave all those years ago. He’s also the one that made the choice to not come home during that entire time when I didn’t even know him. You can blame me all day long for delaying his homecoming because I care about him, and I want to make being here as easy for him as possible, but you have to put the responsibility for all the choices that came before me on him. I get that it’s easier to be mad at me because I’m a stranger and I won’t be around for very long, but eventually you’re going to have to put all that anger where it belongs … on Church.”
A deep-throated laugh burst out of her and she seemed to transform right in front of my eyes and the woman that belonged in that ridiculous owl shirt appeared. Her frail and severe features morphed into a smile that was as sunny as the one I usually had plastered on my face. I was so dumbstruck by the change that my jaw dropped and I couldn’t stop my eyes from blinking rapidly.
“You do have a backbone somewhere underneath all the pretty hair. I was starting to wonder if you were ever going to get your knickers in a knot. My boy needs a woman that can step in and save him from himself. He’s got a good heart like his mama and he’s brave like his daddy, but somewhere along the way he forgot both those things. I want a good woman to remind him of who he was, but that’s gonna be a fight you can’t win with only a smile, even if it is a pretty one.”
“It’s a fight worth fighting no matter what I have to use to win.” It wasn’t a battle I’d realized I was engaged in until she pointed out what was at stake, but I’d been in the trenches since I blindly agreed to jump feetfirst into the middle of his homecoming.
I knew he couldn’t see past the scared kid that had made some bad choices to protect himself from further hurt and heartache. He couldn’t see the man that I saw, the man I loved before I even knew how much he really had to both love and loathe. He wouldn’t recognize the man that Rome saw and trusted with his life and his livelihood if he was staring at his own reflection in the mirror. He couldn’t see the man his little brother worshipped and the man his father was proud of. He couldn’t see the man Elma Mae loved like a son, the one that had dropped everything and come running the minute he knew she needed him. All he could see was that kid that packed a bag and turned his back on everyone that needed him. I wanted to be there when he finally opened his eyes and saw the light, the brightness that was waiting to shine out of him.
“What keeps you from being happy on the days you don’t smile, Miss Dixie?” She sounded genuinely curious and now that I was making headway I couldn’t seem to keep the truth in that painful place where I always kept it.
“I love my job and I enjoy my life, but I wanted something different. I wanted someone to love me in a way that I’d know they could never not love me. I wanted a family, a big one, and a pretty house with flowers outside. I wanted the kind of happy that only happens when your dreams come true.” My voice trailed off when I realized she was staring intently at me, like she was trying to see inside of my head and my heart at the same time. “My folks had that, so I grew up with something beautiful and special all around me. My sister found it, too, so I always assumed it would find me.” It had but the person behind all those hopes and dreams had no idea he was the one.
“Honey, you are far too young to throw in the towel on those daydreams. If all you want is some pretty flowers and a nice house, you go out and get those yourself. You don’t need a man to provide that for you. And you have to know after spending time with Dashel that even a love that feels like it will last forever can be cruelly taken away. Doesn’t matter how tightly you hold on to it.”
I sighed again and struggled to get my toothy armor back in place. She was making it feel impossible, and I hated that my usually cheery faade was so easily navigated around. “I’m sure Church and Jules will figure it out.”
She narrowed her eyes at me and crossed her arms over her narrow chest. “Chipper little thing, aren’t you? Never would have pegged you as Dashel’s type. When he was younger he liked sweet southern girls. Ones that knew how to dress and speak properly. Do you even have a job? Or are you planning on mooching off a military pension for the rest of your life?” She sniffed at me and turned up her nose. The archaic and clearly old-fashioned snub was the last straw. I was done playing nice when she was throwing cheap shot after cheap shot at me and not getting called for a foul.
I put my hands on my hips and cocked my head to the side. “I have a job. I’m a waitress at a bar.” I held up a hand before she could drag my beloved profession through the mud. “Don’t even start with how that isn’t a real job because let me tell you, I make more on a busy weekend than most of the people I know that have degrees. I like working with people. I love my boss, and I never would have met Church if it wasn’t for the bar. I’m never going to own a yacht or be able to afford a vacation in Saint-Tropez with Harry Styles and the Kardashians, but I live a good life and more days than not I’m really happy.” It was my turn to point at her and turn my nose up in her direction. “I understand that you think I somehow kept Church in Denver when you would have preferred him home, but you do realize he is a grown-ass man, a man that served his country, a man that made the choice, be it the right one or the wrong one, to leave all those years ago. He’s also the one that made the choice to not come home during that entire time when I didn’t even know him. You can blame me all day long for delaying his homecoming because I care about him, and I want to make being here as easy for him as possible, but you have to put the responsibility for all the choices that came before me on him. I get that it’s easier to be mad at me because I’m a stranger and I won’t be around for very long, but eventually you’re going to have to put all that anger where it belongs … on Church.”
A deep-throated laugh burst out of her and she seemed to transform right in front of my eyes and the woman that belonged in that ridiculous owl shirt appeared. Her frail and severe features morphed into a smile that was as sunny as the one I usually had plastered on my face. I was so dumbstruck by the change that my jaw dropped and I couldn’t stop my eyes from blinking rapidly.
“You do have a backbone somewhere underneath all the pretty hair. I was starting to wonder if you were ever going to get your knickers in a knot. My boy needs a woman that can step in and save him from himself. He’s got a good heart like his mama and he’s brave like his daddy, but somewhere along the way he forgot both those things. I want a good woman to remind him of who he was, but that’s gonna be a fight you can’t win with only a smile, even if it is a pretty one.”
“It’s a fight worth fighting no matter what I have to use to win.” It wasn’t a battle I’d realized I was engaged in until she pointed out what was at stake, but I’d been in the trenches since I blindly agreed to jump feetfirst into the middle of his homecoming.
I knew he couldn’t see past the scared kid that had made some bad choices to protect himself from further hurt and heartache. He couldn’t see the man that I saw, the man I loved before I even knew how much he really had to both love and loathe. He wouldn’t recognize the man that Rome saw and trusted with his life and his livelihood if he was staring at his own reflection in the mirror. He couldn’t see the man his little brother worshipped and the man his father was proud of. He couldn’t see the man Elma Mae loved like a son, the one that had dropped everything and come running the minute he knew she needed him. All he could see was that kid that packed a bag and turned his back on everyone that needed him. I wanted to be there when he finally opened his eyes and saw the light, the brightness that was waiting to shine out of him.
“What keeps you from being happy on the days you don’t smile, Miss Dixie?” She sounded genuinely curious and now that I was making headway I couldn’t seem to keep the truth in that painful place where I always kept it.
“I love my job and I enjoy my life, but I wanted something different. I wanted someone to love me in a way that I’d know they could never not love me. I wanted a family, a big one, and a pretty house with flowers outside. I wanted the kind of happy that only happens when your dreams come true.” My voice trailed off when I realized she was staring intently at me, like she was trying to see inside of my head and my heart at the same time. “My folks had that, so I grew up with something beautiful and special all around me. My sister found it, too, so I always assumed it would find me.” It had but the person behind all those hopes and dreams had no idea he was the one.
“Honey, you are far too young to throw in the towel on those daydreams. If all you want is some pretty flowers and a nice house, you go out and get those yourself. You don’t need a man to provide that for you. And you have to know after spending time with Dashel that even a love that feels like it will last forever can be cruelly taken away. Doesn’t matter how tightly you hold on to it.”
