My lips twitched as I lifted the mug up and took a sip. “Sometimes the day-to-day things are the hardest. We take being able to do them without struggle for granted. I’m happy to offer a little bit of encouragement when it’s needed.”
Jules turned around and placed a stack of pancakes in front of Dalen that had my jaw dropping open. It looked like something that would be on one of those outrageous eating competition shows but Dalen dug in like this was an everyday occurrence and not a meal fit to feed the entire offensive line of the Denver Broncos.
“I’m sure Elma will appreciate the company, but you should wait until Dash is awake to take you over there. He gave me a heads-up that your recent troubles might be an overly amorous suitor. I put calls in to see what we have on them in the system, but until we hear back, you should probably avoid being out in the wild alone.”
I stiffened and looked at him over the top of the coffee. “Okay.”
Jules nodded and lifted his hands so that he could smooth his fingers over either side of his goatee. “Elma’s had a pretty rough go of it here the last few weeks and she was looking at a long road to recovery. I hate to ask, but if you can avoid mentioning that things are a little bit unpredictable right now I would appreciate it. She spent the last ten years worrying herself sick over my stubborn son, I’d like her to be able to focus on getting better and not the fact trouble followed the boy home.”
I set the coffee mug down on the counter and rested my chin in the hand of the arm that had my elbow propped up on the surface. “I won’t go into details but she’s sharp as a tack. She told me yesterday that she knew something wasn’t right and she saw Dalen’s face last night. It’s pretty obvious things haven’t been smooth sailing since Church and I got to town.”
“She’d be fit to be tied if she knew someone was after you and that they were willing to hurt my boys to get at you. She’s wanted Dash home since the minute he left. She’s also wanted that boy to find his happy since we lost his mom and let’s be honest, Curly Sue, you’re probably the best shot he’s got at it.”
I blinked at the older man and had to take a second to find my breath. I wanted to be Church’s happy forever, not just his happy for now, but he hadn’t given me a single sign he was on the same page as I was. “Well, he deserves some happiness, you all do, after everything you’ve been through. I’m glad I can give him a little bit of it while we’re together.”
Jules braced himself on the counter across from me with his arms crossed against his uniformed chest. His dark eyebrows quirked upwards and his mouth tugged into that grin that had to break hearts from miles away. “I think it’s easy for folks to forget that sometimes it’s far harder to have a smile ready than it is to find a frown. You should find your happy, too, Dixie girl.”
The man was far too perceptive for my own good. “I am happy.” And I was most days. It was the days when I got swallowed up by everyone else’s wants and needs and forgot to focus on my own that I felt like I was missing out on a little something. I was a caretaker by nature, but the care I allowed for myself often paled in comparison to that which I offered others. “I have a lot to be thankful for and I get to have a hand in making sure that the people I care the most about are living their best lives. There isn’t much more to happiness for me than that.” Sure, I would be elated to finally have the dreams I’d been hoarding for a lifetime come true but just like I couldn’t be Church’s reason to find his happy, I couldn’t hold him accountable for mine. I was going to have to go out and live my best life without him, even if I wasn’t sure that was possible. Even before we were romantically involved my heart had beat stronger, my soul had shined brighter, and my life had been more full and interesting simply by having him in it. Once he was gone I knew there were going to be a lot of stormy days in my future but the truth was the rain was never able to stop the sun from shining for very long.
“Enough of this boring grown-up talk. I’m going to have to sit through hours of lectures and real talk once the coach gets his hands on me. Can we go so I can get it over with?”
Dalen’s surly tone broke the somber mood between his father and me, so it seemed like a perfect way to end the conversation. I grabbed my phone and some shoes from the bedroom, surprised Church was still out like a light. I was leaning over to give him a kiss on that tempting mouth when his eyes popped open and I found myself lost in a swirling labyrinth of color and confusion. Those eyes weren’t dark and haunted first thing in the morning. They blazed with a million emotions I couldn’t name and a few that I wanted so desperately to be something he hadn’t even hinted at.
“Mornin’.” His eyelids fluttered slightly and all the muscles in his chest stretched and flexed as he lifted his arms above his head. The sight made my mouth water and had me pondering putting our visit to Elma Mae on the back burner when Church’s phone rang from somewhere off to the side of the bed.
I lowered my lips to his shoulder as he swiped the screen and put the device to his ear. I let my fingers trip and tickle across his smooth skin with a grin as he lifted an eyebrow and gave me a warning look. I had my mind on payback until he stiffened and reached up a hand to push my hair off my face with a shake of his head.
“Is she okay?” I went still at his question and frowned as a serious look pulled tight across his features. “Give us five minutes and we’ll be over.”
Jules turned around and placed a stack of pancakes in front of Dalen that had my jaw dropping open. It looked like something that would be on one of those outrageous eating competition shows but Dalen dug in like this was an everyday occurrence and not a meal fit to feed the entire offensive line of the Denver Broncos.
“I’m sure Elma will appreciate the company, but you should wait until Dash is awake to take you over there. He gave me a heads-up that your recent troubles might be an overly amorous suitor. I put calls in to see what we have on them in the system, but until we hear back, you should probably avoid being out in the wild alone.”
I stiffened and looked at him over the top of the coffee. “Okay.”
Jules nodded and lifted his hands so that he could smooth his fingers over either side of his goatee. “Elma’s had a pretty rough go of it here the last few weeks and she was looking at a long road to recovery. I hate to ask, but if you can avoid mentioning that things are a little bit unpredictable right now I would appreciate it. She spent the last ten years worrying herself sick over my stubborn son, I’d like her to be able to focus on getting better and not the fact trouble followed the boy home.”
I set the coffee mug down on the counter and rested my chin in the hand of the arm that had my elbow propped up on the surface. “I won’t go into details but she’s sharp as a tack. She told me yesterday that she knew something wasn’t right and she saw Dalen’s face last night. It’s pretty obvious things haven’t been smooth sailing since Church and I got to town.”
“She’d be fit to be tied if she knew someone was after you and that they were willing to hurt my boys to get at you. She’s wanted Dash home since the minute he left. She’s also wanted that boy to find his happy since we lost his mom and let’s be honest, Curly Sue, you’re probably the best shot he’s got at it.”
I blinked at the older man and had to take a second to find my breath. I wanted to be Church’s happy forever, not just his happy for now, but he hadn’t given me a single sign he was on the same page as I was. “Well, he deserves some happiness, you all do, after everything you’ve been through. I’m glad I can give him a little bit of it while we’re together.”
Jules braced himself on the counter across from me with his arms crossed against his uniformed chest. His dark eyebrows quirked upwards and his mouth tugged into that grin that had to break hearts from miles away. “I think it’s easy for folks to forget that sometimes it’s far harder to have a smile ready than it is to find a frown. You should find your happy, too, Dixie girl.”
The man was far too perceptive for my own good. “I am happy.” And I was most days. It was the days when I got swallowed up by everyone else’s wants and needs and forgot to focus on my own that I felt like I was missing out on a little something. I was a caretaker by nature, but the care I allowed for myself often paled in comparison to that which I offered others. “I have a lot to be thankful for and I get to have a hand in making sure that the people I care the most about are living their best lives. There isn’t much more to happiness for me than that.” Sure, I would be elated to finally have the dreams I’d been hoarding for a lifetime come true but just like I couldn’t be Church’s reason to find his happy, I couldn’t hold him accountable for mine. I was going to have to go out and live my best life without him, even if I wasn’t sure that was possible. Even before we were romantically involved my heart had beat stronger, my soul had shined brighter, and my life had been more full and interesting simply by having him in it. Once he was gone I knew there were going to be a lot of stormy days in my future but the truth was the rain was never able to stop the sun from shining for very long.
“Enough of this boring grown-up talk. I’m going to have to sit through hours of lectures and real talk once the coach gets his hands on me. Can we go so I can get it over with?”
Dalen’s surly tone broke the somber mood between his father and me, so it seemed like a perfect way to end the conversation. I grabbed my phone and some shoes from the bedroom, surprised Church was still out like a light. I was leaning over to give him a kiss on that tempting mouth when his eyes popped open and I found myself lost in a swirling labyrinth of color and confusion. Those eyes weren’t dark and haunted first thing in the morning. They blazed with a million emotions I couldn’t name and a few that I wanted so desperately to be something he hadn’t even hinted at.
“Mornin’.” His eyelids fluttered slightly and all the muscles in his chest stretched and flexed as he lifted his arms above his head. The sight made my mouth water and had me pondering putting our visit to Elma Mae on the back burner when Church’s phone rang from somewhere off to the side of the bed.
I lowered my lips to his shoulder as he swiped the screen and put the device to his ear. I let my fingers trip and tickle across his smooth skin with a grin as he lifted an eyebrow and gave me a warning look. I had my mind on payback until he stiffened and reached up a hand to push my hair off my face with a shake of his head.
“Is she okay?” I went still at his question and frowned as a serious look pulled tight across his features. “Give us five minutes and we’ll be over.”
