I wanted to take care of people. I wanted to be the man he raised me to be. I wanted to put the years of training and sacrifice I’d survived through to good use. I wanted everything I’d learned to matter. It seemed like strapping on a badge and signing up to protect and serve was a good way to accomplish all of that.
When I drove out of the Holler and made my way back to town so I could get my girl, I drove past the cemetery where both my mom and Caroline had been laid to rest. I made a mental note to take Dixie by so we could both pay our respects before she went back to Denver. If those two women hadn’t loved me as fiercely and ferociously as they had I never would have figured out how to love the woman that felt like she was my everything. I owed them the world and I wanted to make them proud. I knew they would both be proud of the woman my heart picked.
I would hold Dixie while she cried, because I knew she would.
And I would let her hold me while I cried, because it was long past time I let myself really and truly grieve for all that I’d lost. Then I’d kiss her until neither one of us could breathe because it was long past time that I celebrated and reveled in all that I had gained.
DIXIE WAS WAITING when I got back to the hospital. I wanted to kick myself for not thinking ahead and grabbing her some of the unpronounceable flowers as well. I needed to up my romance game, needed to put some oomph in my wooing skills. Not that you would think I’d dropped the ball by the smile on her face. She glowed. She shined. She shimmered. She was so bright and vivid it was easy to overlook the bandages holding her together and the thick brace on her foot. Any day that I got to see her smile was my best day and I was looking forward to having a whole hell of a lot of them in the future.
She pulled me to her for a hug as soon as she saw me and I didn’t hesitate to return it. I was getting pretty good at being a hugger. It was nice to have my arms around someone I never wanted to let go of and it was nice to be held like she had no intention of ever letting go of me.
“How are you? Did you get that door closed?” She curled her good hand around mine as a woman dressed in scrubs rolled her and the wheelchair she was seated in out of the room and towards the elevator. It didn’t surprise me one bit that every staff member we passed knew her name and wanted to wish her well and a speedy recovery. That was simply the effect she had on people.
When it was time to put her in the truck I didn’t give her the chance to try to lift herself up while she balanced on one leg. I picked her up and hefted her into the cab as she laughed in my ear and curled her arm around my neck so that she could strangle-hug me. I kissed her hard on the mouth and lingered a little longer than I’d intended. She didn’t seem to mind as she slid her tongue between my teeth and gave it a little flick.
I pulled back and smoothed a hand over her cheek. “I should have brought you flowers or a balloon.”
She grinned at me and leaned forward so her lips could touch mine. “I liked the kiss better.”
God, how could you not smile at that?
I climbed into the driver’s side of the truck and headed home … well, home for now. That was a conversation we were going to have to have sooner rather than later.
We were on the outskirts of town and settled into what I thought was a comfortable silence when I felt her staring at the side of my face. I looked at her out of the corner of my eye and watched her watch me.
“What?” She jumped when I asked the question and lifted her hand to her throat.
“Nothing.” She tilted her face back around so that she was looking out the windshield but her lips were pressed tightly together and she was tapping her fingers nervously on her knee. It was all very un-Dixie-like, so much so that I kept an eye out for a place to pull over and when I found one I drove the truck off the road, found a little spot that was secluded and out-of-the-way, and parked behind an outcropping of cypress trees that had branches that touched the ground. She gave me a curious look but didn’t say anything as I twisted around to look at her.
“What’s working in that pretty little head of yours, Dixie?” I stretched an arm along the back of the seat and touched the tips of my fingers to her hair.
“I was just thinking. It’s nothing important and it can definitely wait until we’re back at your dad’s place.”
“It’s not nothing. It has you fidgety and quiet. Lay it on me, pretty girl. I told you there is nothing you can say that is going to scare me off.” I watched as she bit her lip and then stuck it out in a pout. The plump little curve was slick from her tongue and I wanted to put my teeth into it.
She took a deep breath and then started talking so fast that it made my head spin. “Well, I love you and you love me, but I have to go back to Denver. Because I have a job that I might not be able to do because of my shoulder, an apartment which is nothing special, my dog who I really do miss, and my sister who is still in a mess and who still hasn’t told Wheeler she likes girls. You haven’t mentioned if you want me to stay there or come back here, and you haven’t said anything about where you’re planning on living long-term or what you think you want to do for a job, because it’s clear you don’t want to be a bouncer forever. And your family is here, so I’m sure you don’t want to leave, but I don’t want to overstay my welcome at your dad’s place, and I want to get married and have babies, but I don’t know if that’s what you want because you didn’t even know you could love me back until like yesterday and it’s all just a lot. I don’t want to scare you away but some of it I’ve been thinking about for a long time, the rest just recently when you told me you loved me back.”
When I drove out of the Holler and made my way back to town so I could get my girl, I drove past the cemetery where both my mom and Caroline had been laid to rest. I made a mental note to take Dixie by so we could both pay our respects before she went back to Denver. If those two women hadn’t loved me as fiercely and ferociously as they had I never would have figured out how to love the woman that felt like she was my everything. I owed them the world and I wanted to make them proud. I knew they would both be proud of the woman my heart picked.
I would hold Dixie while she cried, because I knew she would.
And I would let her hold me while I cried, because it was long past time I let myself really and truly grieve for all that I’d lost. Then I’d kiss her until neither one of us could breathe because it was long past time that I celebrated and reveled in all that I had gained.
DIXIE WAS WAITING when I got back to the hospital. I wanted to kick myself for not thinking ahead and grabbing her some of the unpronounceable flowers as well. I needed to up my romance game, needed to put some oomph in my wooing skills. Not that you would think I’d dropped the ball by the smile on her face. She glowed. She shined. She shimmered. She was so bright and vivid it was easy to overlook the bandages holding her together and the thick brace on her foot. Any day that I got to see her smile was my best day and I was looking forward to having a whole hell of a lot of them in the future.
She pulled me to her for a hug as soon as she saw me and I didn’t hesitate to return it. I was getting pretty good at being a hugger. It was nice to have my arms around someone I never wanted to let go of and it was nice to be held like she had no intention of ever letting go of me.
“How are you? Did you get that door closed?” She curled her good hand around mine as a woman dressed in scrubs rolled her and the wheelchair she was seated in out of the room and towards the elevator. It didn’t surprise me one bit that every staff member we passed knew her name and wanted to wish her well and a speedy recovery. That was simply the effect she had on people.
When it was time to put her in the truck I didn’t give her the chance to try to lift herself up while she balanced on one leg. I picked her up and hefted her into the cab as she laughed in my ear and curled her arm around my neck so that she could strangle-hug me. I kissed her hard on the mouth and lingered a little longer than I’d intended. She didn’t seem to mind as she slid her tongue between my teeth and gave it a little flick.
I pulled back and smoothed a hand over her cheek. “I should have brought you flowers or a balloon.”
She grinned at me and leaned forward so her lips could touch mine. “I liked the kiss better.”
God, how could you not smile at that?
I climbed into the driver’s side of the truck and headed home … well, home for now. That was a conversation we were going to have to have sooner rather than later.
We were on the outskirts of town and settled into what I thought was a comfortable silence when I felt her staring at the side of my face. I looked at her out of the corner of my eye and watched her watch me.
“What?” She jumped when I asked the question and lifted her hand to her throat.
“Nothing.” She tilted her face back around so that she was looking out the windshield but her lips were pressed tightly together and she was tapping her fingers nervously on her knee. It was all very un-Dixie-like, so much so that I kept an eye out for a place to pull over and when I found one I drove the truck off the road, found a little spot that was secluded and out-of-the-way, and parked behind an outcropping of cypress trees that had branches that touched the ground. She gave me a curious look but didn’t say anything as I twisted around to look at her.
“What’s working in that pretty little head of yours, Dixie?” I stretched an arm along the back of the seat and touched the tips of my fingers to her hair.
“I was just thinking. It’s nothing important and it can definitely wait until we’re back at your dad’s place.”
“It’s not nothing. It has you fidgety and quiet. Lay it on me, pretty girl. I told you there is nothing you can say that is going to scare me off.” I watched as she bit her lip and then stuck it out in a pout. The plump little curve was slick from her tongue and I wanted to put my teeth into it.
She took a deep breath and then started talking so fast that it made my head spin. “Well, I love you and you love me, but I have to go back to Denver. Because I have a job that I might not be able to do because of my shoulder, an apartment which is nothing special, my dog who I really do miss, and my sister who is still in a mess and who still hasn’t told Wheeler she likes girls. You haven’t mentioned if you want me to stay there or come back here, and you haven’t said anything about where you’re planning on living long-term or what you think you want to do for a job, because it’s clear you don’t want to be a bouncer forever. And your family is here, so I’m sure you don’t want to leave, but I don’t want to overstay my welcome at your dad’s place, and I want to get married and have babies, but I don’t know if that’s what you want because you didn’t even know you could love me back until like yesterday and it’s all just a lot. I don’t want to scare you away but some of it I’ve been thinking about for a long time, the rest just recently when you told me you loved me back.”
