Rock My Body
Page 55
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He doesn’t elaborate, but I know exactly how my twin thinks. In his mind, I’ve been fucking the hot doctor lady all over this fancy place, but what he doesn’t know is how god-awful the days I spent detoxing were. That was the worst experience I’ve ever lived through, and the biggest wake-up call I’ve ever received. Not only did this place give me the woman that I’m in love with, but a fucking eye-opener, too—showing me just how fucked up I was, and that I need to change.
Frannie leads us to her office and pushes the door open. Two folding chairs have been brought into the space across from the couch.
“Have a seat, gentlemen. Tyke,” she turns to me, “you might want to grab your guitar. Playing a song may help you break the ice.”
I nod. “That’s a great idea. I’ll be right back.” I lean in to kiss her cheek, but she presses a hand against my chest, and I suddenly remember that I’m not allowed. “Sorry.”
She smiles. “Soon, we won’t have to worry about all that. We’ll leave here together, and you can kiss me any time you want.”
“You’ve finally decided to give us a real go?” I waggle my eyebrows. “That’ll be nice.”
“Indeed,” she purrs. “I’ve decided that I can’t give you up.” She shrugs. “I’m addicted to you now.”
I smile. “I’ll be your vice any time, babe.”
Frannie laughs. “Hurry back. I’ll get the guys all settled in.”
After rushing up to my room and grabbing my baby from the corner, I hurry back to Frannie’s office.
Around the corner, I can hear Riff’s voice drift into the hallway. “Do you think it’s too soon for Tyke to come back on tour with us? Is he ready?”
“Tyke has done a one-eighty since he’s been here. He’s clearheaded and seems focused. One of his biggest priorities has been working on new songs for the next album. He’s worked very hard to prove not only to all of you, but to himself, that he’s ready. I think as long as he maintains that drive to succeed and stays away from any outside factors that may tempt him to use again, he’ll do very well,” Frannie tells the guys.
Hearing what she thinks of me without her knowing I’m listening makes me smile. I love that she believes in me.
“I think Tyke’s biggest challenge will be himself. He lets everything get in his head and convinces himself that bad shit’s going to happen. He’s been that way since we were kids,” Trip chimes in.
“He’s well aware of that problem, too, and he’s working hard to find other outlets for his anxiety—music being one of them,” Frannie says.
“And let’s not forget Gabby. We have a few more shows left with Sex Arsenal on this tour. Once he’s back, she’ll be trying to get her hooks into him again,” Noel adds.
“I don’t think that chick will be an issue anymore. He’s got hot doctor lady now,” Trip counters.
“Mr. Douglas, please call me Frannie,” my girl corrects my brother, and it makes me smile.
“No way. Hot doctor lady fits you so much better.” He laughs.
Noel clears his throat. “I think you better call her Frannie. Holly will chop off your nuts if you keep calling another woman hot.”
All the guys laugh.
“Holly loves my nuts too much to hurt them,” Trip jokes. “Besides, she’s going to want kids someday and keep up with all you assholes popping ’em out left, right, and center. I have to tell you, though, I’m excited to be an uncle. I’m going to have fun spoiling that kid.”
“That’s so sweet of you, Mr. Douglas.”
“Frannie, please just call me Trip. We’re family now, right?”
“Okay,” she replies.
It hits me. I can really picture this happening—a future with Frannie. I can see her interacting with Trip and the guys, and I know she’ll get along with Lanie, Aubrey, and Holly. Frannie fits into my world perfectly.
I take a deep breath and push open the door. All eyes are on me, and it’s suddenly very quiet in the room. Pressure crushes down on me as I take a seat on the couch next to the chair Frannie’s sitting in, just like when we’re in a session. I need to explain to these guys how I feel, and like Frannie says, the best way to do that is through music.
I adjust the guitar on my knee. “Since I’ve been in therapy with Frannie, she’s helped me open up about my feelings though song. She’s had me write down songs that express the way I feel at different points through my journey here. When I was going through my playlists, I found an old The Tony Rich Project song that really resonated with me. It’s called ‘Nobody Knows,’ and it talks about a guy who feels so much pain inside but keeps it completely to himself, shutting everyone else out. That’s exactly what I’ve done for the last year. I pushed you all away. I let the worry about Black Falcon falling apart eat at me so much that I had to find a way to keep myself from going crazy. I turned to prescription drugs, and when that was no longer enough, I used whatever I could get my hands on to go with it.”
I strum the opening chords of the song and start to sing the lyrics. It’s hard to admit so openly just how lonely I felt, so I close my eyes as I let the emotion pour out of me through the words.
When I’m finished, I take a deep breath and open my eyes to meet all of their gazes. I want them to see me—to know I’m clearheaded and one-hundred-percent dedicated to this band again.
Frannie leads us to her office and pushes the door open. Two folding chairs have been brought into the space across from the couch.
“Have a seat, gentlemen. Tyke,” she turns to me, “you might want to grab your guitar. Playing a song may help you break the ice.”
I nod. “That’s a great idea. I’ll be right back.” I lean in to kiss her cheek, but she presses a hand against my chest, and I suddenly remember that I’m not allowed. “Sorry.”
She smiles. “Soon, we won’t have to worry about all that. We’ll leave here together, and you can kiss me any time you want.”
“You’ve finally decided to give us a real go?” I waggle my eyebrows. “That’ll be nice.”
“Indeed,” she purrs. “I’ve decided that I can’t give you up.” She shrugs. “I’m addicted to you now.”
I smile. “I’ll be your vice any time, babe.”
Frannie laughs. “Hurry back. I’ll get the guys all settled in.”
After rushing up to my room and grabbing my baby from the corner, I hurry back to Frannie’s office.
Around the corner, I can hear Riff’s voice drift into the hallway. “Do you think it’s too soon for Tyke to come back on tour with us? Is he ready?”
“Tyke has done a one-eighty since he’s been here. He’s clearheaded and seems focused. One of his biggest priorities has been working on new songs for the next album. He’s worked very hard to prove not only to all of you, but to himself, that he’s ready. I think as long as he maintains that drive to succeed and stays away from any outside factors that may tempt him to use again, he’ll do very well,” Frannie tells the guys.
Hearing what she thinks of me without her knowing I’m listening makes me smile. I love that she believes in me.
“I think Tyke’s biggest challenge will be himself. He lets everything get in his head and convinces himself that bad shit’s going to happen. He’s been that way since we were kids,” Trip chimes in.
“He’s well aware of that problem, too, and he’s working hard to find other outlets for his anxiety—music being one of them,” Frannie says.
“And let’s not forget Gabby. We have a few more shows left with Sex Arsenal on this tour. Once he’s back, she’ll be trying to get her hooks into him again,” Noel adds.
“I don’t think that chick will be an issue anymore. He’s got hot doctor lady now,” Trip counters.
“Mr. Douglas, please call me Frannie,” my girl corrects my brother, and it makes me smile.
“No way. Hot doctor lady fits you so much better.” He laughs.
Noel clears his throat. “I think you better call her Frannie. Holly will chop off your nuts if you keep calling another woman hot.”
All the guys laugh.
“Holly loves my nuts too much to hurt them,” Trip jokes. “Besides, she’s going to want kids someday and keep up with all you assholes popping ’em out left, right, and center. I have to tell you, though, I’m excited to be an uncle. I’m going to have fun spoiling that kid.”
“That’s so sweet of you, Mr. Douglas.”
“Frannie, please just call me Trip. We’re family now, right?”
“Okay,” she replies.
It hits me. I can really picture this happening—a future with Frannie. I can see her interacting with Trip and the guys, and I know she’ll get along with Lanie, Aubrey, and Holly. Frannie fits into my world perfectly.
I take a deep breath and push open the door. All eyes are on me, and it’s suddenly very quiet in the room. Pressure crushes down on me as I take a seat on the couch next to the chair Frannie’s sitting in, just like when we’re in a session. I need to explain to these guys how I feel, and like Frannie says, the best way to do that is through music.
I adjust the guitar on my knee. “Since I’ve been in therapy with Frannie, she’s helped me open up about my feelings though song. She’s had me write down songs that express the way I feel at different points through my journey here. When I was going through my playlists, I found an old The Tony Rich Project song that really resonated with me. It’s called ‘Nobody Knows,’ and it talks about a guy who feels so much pain inside but keeps it completely to himself, shutting everyone else out. That’s exactly what I’ve done for the last year. I pushed you all away. I let the worry about Black Falcon falling apart eat at me so much that I had to find a way to keep myself from going crazy. I turned to prescription drugs, and when that was no longer enough, I used whatever I could get my hands on to go with it.”
I strum the opening chords of the song and start to sing the lyrics. It’s hard to admit so openly just how lonely I felt, so I close my eyes as I let the emotion pour out of me through the words.
When I’m finished, I take a deep breath and open my eyes to meet all of their gazes. I want them to see me—to know I’m clearheaded and one-hundred-percent dedicated to this band again.
