“I know.” And Simon might not want Trevor to go with him. He understood that. This was Simon connecting with his past—the place where he performed miracles and dated women.
Simon got out of the car, walked around the vehicle, and made it to the sidewalk before he stopped. Trevor watched him as he kept his back to Trevor...and he waited. Either way, he was okay with what Simon decided.
Still, when Simon turned around and nodded at the building, Trevor felt a rush of adrenaline that he wanted Trevor by his side. The man who had done things Trevor could only dream about wanted him.
***
“Wow. Look who it is. It’s great to see you, Simon.” Lin Pham, one of his associates, reached out and shook Simon’s hand. The one he was hoping to fix.
“I’m in town for a surgery. I thought I would stop by to see how things are going.”
Lin smiled at him. “It’s great, but we sure miss you. It’s not the same without you. We miss your expertise, and the patients are still asking about Dr. Malone. They all love you.” Simon got a sharp pain in his chest, an ache that had dulled but never really went away. The longing for what he had. For what he wanted.
“I miss it too,” was all he could say. Then he realized he hadn’t introduced Trevor so he looked his way. “Trevor, this is Dr. Lin Pham, Lin this is my...” Holy shit. He hadn’t thought about that. How did he introduce Trevor. As his lover? Boyfriend? The second one made him feel like he was sixteen years old. Plus, they’d all known about Heather, and now he was introducing a man as his...whatever the word should be.
Trevor jumped in and saved him. “I’m his friend, Trevor. It’s nice to meet you, Dr. Pham.” He reached out and shook her hand.
“Please, call me Lin. Any friend of Simon’s is a friend of mine.”
Simon could see the questions there, probably only because of his stumble on how to introduce Trevor. What really bothered him was whether or not he cared if Lin knew. He shouldn’t. There was nothing to be ashamed of, but he still couldn’t decide how he felt about it.
“Where are you working? I heard you moved. Did you start a practice somewhere else?” she asked. Because that’s what most people would do. Continue being a physician, surgeon or not. But not Simon, and for the first time he felt slightly embarrassed about that.
“No, not yet. I’m working on a book right now.” He didn’t look at Trevor, who knew he was lying. Another dose of embarrassment settled into his bones. He had no excuses not to start his book. None at all.
Before Lin could reply he heard another voice. “Dr. Malone! It’s so great to see you!” Linda, one of the medical assistants, approached him. Then another, and a member of the registration staff, all of them telling Simon how much they missed him. How good of a physician he was, and asking what he was doing now.
Somehow, without realizing it, he’d been close with his staff, and he hadn’t spoken to any of them since he realized he couldn’t go back to work.
It felt good to talk with them now. He missed this, being part of a team. Of a group, all working together to save lives.
They spoke for as long as time allowed, talking and laughing, before they had to get back to their responsibilities. It wasn’t until they all went their own ways that he realized Trevor was gone.
“Hey. You okay?” Simon asked when he made it back outside and saw Trevor standing there waiting for him.
“Yeah, I just needed a little air.” He had his hands deep in the pockets of his jeans.
“I’m sorry about the introduction. I didn’t know what to say.” And he hadn’t taken the time to introduce Trevor to anyone other than Lin, either. It wasn’t done purposely, but intent didn’t matter. The result did. And by not introducing Trevor, he sent a message he didn’t mean to send.
“No problem. I get it. Where to next?” There was a slight difference in Trevor’s voice, a little more monotone than usual.
“Hey.” Simon reached out and latched a finger with Trevor, who shook his head.
“I’m fine. It was nothing.”
Simon took his word for it. “I need to get to my pre-op, and then Heather’s place.” He still couldn’t believe he’d agreed to stay at his ex-wife’s house with his current male lover. It felt like a mess waiting to happen, but Heather had insisted. She wanted to meet Trevor, and he at least owed her that.
“Let’s do this.” Trevor walked to the car without looking at him. Simon paused for a second, unsure if he needed to apologize to him again, before he went to the driver’s side and got in.
