Rock with Me
Page 70
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“I don’t deserve it!” I yell back at him. “I’ve never done anything to deserve to be in this family, with all of these wonderful, beautiful people.”
“What are you talking about?” He asks, his face completely confused.
“I’m not anyone special. I don’t have any amazing talents, I don’t make a ton of money, I’m not even a very nice person. The only thing I have is famous family members.” I shake my head and move across the room, my back to him. “Do you know that aside from family and people I’m related to by marriage I don’t have one person that I consider my friend? Not one. And that’s not a coincidence.” I turn back to him. He’s watching me like I’ve gone crazy.
He could be right.
“Why?” He asks.
“Because someone always wants something from me, Leo. In high school, they wanted to get close to Luke or Mark, so they’d pretend to be my friend so they could hang out at our house and try to get glimpses of them. When Luke got famous, it intensified by a thousand. Hell, a million.” I laugh ruefully. “I finally got smart and separated myself from it, found a career I like and am good at, and even that fucked me over.”
I brace my head in my hands, rubbing my forehead with my fingertips. “I learned a long time ago to look out for myself, and not depend on others to take care of me. Fame is fleeting and honestly, it’s just a lie.” I find his eyes and shrug. “Being famous doesn’t make anyone happy. It’s just… scary.”
“Sam, you deserve your family. They love you.”
“Yes, they do.” I nod and then shake my head. “And I love them more than anything. But I don’t deserve to have them pick up the pieces when my life falls apart. I’m in my thirties, for the love of Christ, Leo, I need to pick up my own pieces.”
“I notice you’re not including me anywhere in this equation,” he murmurs and shoves his hands in his pockets.
“I don’t need you to fix anything either,” I tell him firmly.
“No, you don’t need me to fix anything, but supporting you and being there for you is not fixing.”
“I don’t need your fame,” I mutter and turn my back on him, shuffling back and forth across my small living room.
“What do you need?” He asks, his voice tight with frustration, but I don’t answer. I just continue to pace.
“I don’t need your money,” I mutter again and push my hands through my hair.
“Okay.” He’s right behind me now, and I can feel the frustration rolling off him in waves, but he places his hands gently on my shoulders and his touch is my undoing. “What do you need, sunshine?”
“You!” I spin and clasp my arms around his middle, press my face to his chest so I don’t have to look him in the eye and let the tears come. “I just need you,” I whisper.
“Sam,” he whispers and wraps those warm, strong arms around my shoulders, hugging me close. “You have me, baby.”
“It pisses me off.” I lean my forehead against his chest. “I don’t like this feeling. In the car, I thought you were dropping me off and not coming back, and it killed me. I don’t want to depend on you.”
“Hey.” He tips my chin up so I have to look him in the eye. “You make me so angry, I just didn’t think I could talk with you without wanting to throttle you. Sam, you have to work on this whole not feeling worthy thing. Your family adores you, and you feel the same. You need to trust them.”
“I know.” I drop my gaze to his mouth and frown.
“And another thing.” He kisses my forehead. “You are a nice person, whether you like it or not. You are the most amazing woman I’ve ever met. If you keep talking shit about my woman, I’ll have to punish you.”
“No more tosses into pools.” I smile.
“I’m sorry you feel like I betrayed you.” His face sobers, his eyes are sad. “That’s the very last thing I would ever do.”
“I know, but I told you…”
“You know, one of the things that you’ll learn about me,” he kisses my forehead softly, “Is that I will always have your best interests at heart. Your family deserved to know.”
“And I deserved to tell them.” I stand strong. “I need you beside me, not fighting my battles for me.”
A slow grin spreads across his face and he cups my face in his hands before lowering his lips to mine. “Well put. As long as I’m in the picture.”
“Leo, you are the picture.”
He stills, his eyes searching mine, and then he kisses me, softly at first, and then demandingly. He bends and scoops me into his arms and carries me to my bedroom.
“I need to get you naked and lose myself in you. Is that okay?” He asks, his gray eyes have softened.
“Yeah, that’s okay.” I pull his shirt up over his head when he sets me on my feet. We quickly undress each other and tumble onto the bed. Leo rises over me, his leg resting between my own, and pulls his fingertips down my face.
“I love you, Samantha Williams. Every damn day, I love you.” His lips capture mine again before I can answer, and he contentedly kisses me, brushing his mouth over mine, letting me bite and pull on his piercing, his thumb tracing circles on my cheek.
His erection is pressing against my hip, but when I try to reach down for it, he captures my hand in his and kisses my fingers. “Not yet,” he whispers.
“What are you talking about?” He asks, his face completely confused.
“I’m not anyone special. I don’t have any amazing talents, I don’t make a ton of money, I’m not even a very nice person. The only thing I have is famous family members.” I shake my head and move across the room, my back to him. “Do you know that aside from family and people I’m related to by marriage I don’t have one person that I consider my friend? Not one. And that’s not a coincidence.” I turn back to him. He’s watching me like I’ve gone crazy.
He could be right.
“Why?” He asks.
“Because someone always wants something from me, Leo. In high school, they wanted to get close to Luke or Mark, so they’d pretend to be my friend so they could hang out at our house and try to get glimpses of them. When Luke got famous, it intensified by a thousand. Hell, a million.” I laugh ruefully. “I finally got smart and separated myself from it, found a career I like and am good at, and even that fucked me over.”
I brace my head in my hands, rubbing my forehead with my fingertips. “I learned a long time ago to look out for myself, and not depend on others to take care of me. Fame is fleeting and honestly, it’s just a lie.” I find his eyes and shrug. “Being famous doesn’t make anyone happy. It’s just… scary.”
“Sam, you deserve your family. They love you.”
“Yes, they do.” I nod and then shake my head. “And I love them more than anything. But I don’t deserve to have them pick up the pieces when my life falls apart. I’m in my thirties, for the love of Christ, Leo, I need to pick up my own pieces.”
“I notice you’re not including me anywhere in this equation,” he murmurs and shoves his hands in his pockets.
“I don’t need you to fix anything either,” I tell him firmly.
“No, you don’t need me to fix anything, but supporting you and being there for you is not fixing.”
“I don’t need your fame,” I mutter and turn my back on him, shuffling back and forth across my small living room.
“What do you need?” He asks, his voice tight with frustration, but I don’t answer. I just continue to pace.
“I don’t need your money,” I mutter again and push my hands through my hair.
“Okay.” He’s right behind me now, and I can feel the frustration rolling off him in waves, but he places his hands gently on my shoulders and his touch is my undoing. “What do you need, sunshine?”
“You!” I spin and clasp my arms around his middle, press my face to his chest so I don’t have to look him in the eye and let the tears come. “I just need you,” I whisper.
“Sam,” he whispers and wraps those warm, strong arms around my shoulders, hugging me close. “You have me, baby.”
“It pisses me off.” I lean my forehead against his chest. “I don’t like this feeling. In the car, I thought you were dropping me off and not coming back, and it killed me. I don’t want to depend on you.”
“Hey.” He tips my chin up so I have to look him in the eye. “You make me so angry, I just didn’t think I could talk with you without wanting to throttle you. Sam, you have to work on this whole not feeling worthy thing. Your family adores you, and you feel the same. You need to trust them.”
“I know.” I drop my gaze to his mouth and frown.
“And another thing.” He kisses my forehead. “You are a nice person, whether you like it or not. You are the most amazing woman I’ve ever met. If you keep talking shit about my woman, I’ll have to punish you.”
“No more tosses into pools.” I smile.
“I’m sorry you feel like I betrayed you.” His face sobers, his eyes are sad. “That’s the very last thing I would ever do.”
“I know, but I told you…”
“You know, one of the things that you’ll learn about me,” he kisses my forehead softly, “Is that I will always have your best interests at heart. Your family deserved to know.”
“And I deserved to tell them.” I stand strong. “I need you beside me, not fighting my battles for me.”
A slow grin spreads across his face and he cups my face in his hands before lowering his lips to mine. “Well put. As long as I’m in the picture.”
“Leo, you are the picture.”
He stills, his eyes searching mine, and then he kisses me, softly at first, and then demandingly. He bends and scoops me into his arms and carries me to my bedroom.
“I need to get you naked and lose myself in you. Is that okay?” He asks, his gray eyes have softened.
“Yeah, that’s okay.” I pull his shirt up over his head when he sets me on my feet. We quickly undress each other and tumble onto the bed. Leo rises over me, his leg resting between my own, and pulls his fingertips down my face.
“I love you, Samantha Williams. Every damn day, I love you.” His lips capture mine again before I can answer, and he contentedly kisses me, brushing his mouth over mine, letting me bite and pull on his piercing, his thumb tracing circles on my cheek.
His erection is pressing against my hip, but when I try to reach down for it, he captures my hand in his and kisses my fingers. “Not yet,” he whispers.
