“I’m just frustrated,” I finally say, resting my head against the cool glass of the window, “with who she is. How she turned out. It pisses me off that she’d get herself into a place in her life where her son can easily believe some drug dealer killed her.”
“What did Marcus say to you?” she asks as she steers the Jeep into the motel parking lot.
After she parks the car, I give her a recap of the conversation I had with Marcus.
“You think he knows where she is?” she asks when I’m finished. She turns off the headlights and the engine.
“I don’t know… maybe.” I unbuckle the seatbelt and rotate in the seat, looking at her through the darkness flooding the cab. “But it doesn’t really matter. What’s done is done, I guess.”
“You don’t mean that.” Clara reaches out and brushes my hair out of my eyes. Her touch is soft and affectionate and somewhat calms me down. “You’re just upset, which is understandable.”
She’s right. Deep down I still care about my mother enough to keep searching for her. Time’s running out, though, and I’m not sure what I’ll do if I don’t find her by the time I have to head back home.
“Let’s go inside, okay?” Clara drops the car keys into my palm. “We can watch another movie or something. Order pizza.”
“What kind of a movie?”
“Whatever kind you want.”
“How about a porno? Since you’re into those.” It takes a lot of energy to make the joke, but I feel better when I do.
She smiles. “And there he is again. I was getting worried about you.”
“Worried enough to watch a porno with me?”
“You’d have to be a lot more upset for me to do that.”
“Guess I have something to look forward to, then.”
Her forehead creases. “What do you mean? I didn’t agree to watch one.”
“You kind of did, though.” I crack the door open, and a breeze gusts into the cab. “I mean, one day, way in our future, I’ll be so upset about something you’ll have to watch one with me because you said you would.”
She rolls her eyes, but doesn’t quip back, and I somehow feel like I won her at that moment, like she’s agreed to be with me. By the time we get out of the car, I feel so much lighter than I did at the club.
“Thank you for making me feel better,” I tell her as we stroll past the motel doors.
“Any time.” She glances up at me with compassion in her eyes. “What else can I do to help cheer you up?”
“Well, it is Friday night, so…” I give her a hopeful look.
An uneven breath rushes from her lips then she nods. “Okay.”
I can’t believe how easily she agreed. “How about, from now on, we just pretend every day is Friday?”
She stares at the ground. “If that’s what you want.”
I hook a finger underneath her chin and force her to look at me. “It’s what I want.”
Her eyes flood with so many emotions it’s overpowering to watch. I stop and back her up against the wall, needing to kiss her right this instant. I can’t wait another second for our lips to connect.
“I like this.” With every breath she takes, her chest crashes against mine.
“Like what?” I spread my fingers across on the brick wall behind her, trapping her between my arms.
“This stuff.” Her gaze zeroes in on my mouth. “The kissing stuff.”
“Good. So do I.” My tongue slips out of my mouth, wets my lips as I angle my body over hers.
My eyelids drift shut and I take a deep breath before sealing our lips. She tips her head back, giving me access to kiss deeper as her hands wander down my chest to the bottom of my shirt and sneak up beneath the fabric. My muscles constrict beneath her touch, and my cock instantly goes hard inside my jeans. I’m crossing my fingers that, when we get to the room, she’ll let me touch her like I’ve always wanted to. Skin to skin. Let me all the way in.
Without breaking the kiss, I blindly steer us in the direction of our door, fumbling to get my wallet out so I can retrieve the cardkey.
As I’m feeling around in my pocket, someone clears their throat. I wouldn’t think too much of it except that I recognize the smell of the cheap perfume and cigarettes swirling through the air.
I jerk my mouth away from Clara’s so abruptly her eyes pop wide.
“W-what’s wrong?” she stammers, placing her fingers to her lips.
“It’s my—”
“Jax, baby.” The skeleton of the woman I used to know cuts me off, strutting toward me with a cigarette between her lips and her arms opened. “Come give Mama a kiss.”
Chapter Fifteen
Clara
At the sound and sight of his mother, the color drains from Jax’s face. “What the hell are you doing here? I thought you were… dead.” His arms fall lifelessly to his sides as he gapes at her in disbelief, as though he’s unsure if she’s real.
I stare at her in a similar manner, but for a very different reason.
The woman in front of us hardly resembles a person let alone a mother. With boney arms and legs, sunken cheekbones, and saggy skin, she looks too frail to even be standing. Still, if I look at her close enough, I can see the resemblance between her and Jax, at least in the eyes. Although, hers don’t convey the same sort of kindness as Jax’s.
“What did Marcus say to you?” she asks as she steers the Jeep into the motel parking lot.
After she parks the car, I give her a recap of the conversation I had with Marcus.
“You think he knows where she is?” she asks when I’m finished. She turns off the headlights and the engine.
“I don’t know… maybe.” I unbuckle the seatbelt and rotate in the seat, looking at her through the darkness flooding the cab. “But it doesn’t really matter. What’s done is done, I guess.”
“You don’t mean that.” Clara reaches out and brushes my hair out of my eyes. Her touch is soft and affectionate and somewhat calms me down. “You’re just upset, which is understandable.”
She’s right. Deep down I still care about my mother enough to keep searching for her. Time’s running out, though, and I’m not sure what I’ll do if I don’t find her by the time I have to head back home.
“Let’s go inside, okay?” Clara drops the car keys into my palm. “We can watch another movie or something. Order pizza.”
“What kind of a movie?”
“Whatever kind you want.”
“How about a porno? Since you’re into those.” It takes a lot of energy to make the joke, but I feel better when I do.
She smiles. “And there he is again. I was getting worried about you.”
“Worried enough to watch a porno with me?”
“You’d have to be a lot more upset for me to do that.”
“Guess I have something to look forward to, then.”
Her forehead creases. “What do you mean? I didn’t agree to watch one.”
“You kind of did, though.” I crack the door open, and a breeze gusts into the cab. “I mean, one day, way in our future, I’ll be so upset about something you’ll have to watch one with me because you said you would.”
She rolls her eyes, but doesn’t quip back, and I somehow feel like I won her at that moment, like she’s agreed to be with me. By the time we get out of the car, I feel so much lighter than I did at the club.
“Thank you for making me feel better,” I tell her as we stroll past the motel doors.
“Any time.” She glances up at me with compassion in her eyes. “What else can I do to help cheer you up?”
“Well, it is Friday night, so…” I give her a hopeful look.
An uneven breath rushes from her lips then she nods. “Okay.”
I can’t believe how easily she agreed. “How about, from now on, we just pretend every day is Friday?”
She stares at the ground. “If that’s what you want.”
I hook a finger underneath her chin and force her to look at me. “It’s what I want.”
Her eyes flood with so many emotions it’s overpowering to watch. I stop and back her up against the wall, needing to kiss her right this instant. I can’t wait another second for our lips to connect.
“I like this.” With every breath she takes, her chest crashes against mine.
“Like what?” I spread my fingers across on the brick wall behind her, trapping her between my arms.
“This stuff.” Her gaze zeroes in on my mouth. “The kissing stuff.”
“Good. So do I.” My tongue slips out of my mouth, wets my lips as I angle my body over hers.
My eyelids drift shut and I take a deep breath before sealing our lips. She tips her head back, giving me access to kiss deeper as her hands wander down my chest to the bottom of my shirt and sneak up beneath the fabric. My muscles constrict beneath her touch, and my cock instantly goes hard inside my jeans. I’m crossing my fingers that, when we get to the room, she’ll let me touch her like I’ve always wanted to. Skin to skin. Let me all the way in.
Without breaking the kiss, I blindly steer us in the direction of our door, fumbling to get my wallet out so I can retrieve the cardkey.
As I’m feeling around in my pocket, someone clears their throat. I wouldn’t think too much of it except that I recognize the smell of the cheap perfume and cigarettes swirling through the air.
I jerk my mouth away from Clara’s so abruptly her eyes pop wide.
“W-what’s wrong?” she stammers, placing her fingers to her lips.
“It’s my—”
“Jax, baby.” The skeleton of the woman I used to know cuts me off, strutting toward me with a cigarette between her lips and her arms opened. “Come give Mama a kiss.”
Chapter Fifteen
Clara
At the sound and sight of his mother, the color drains from Jax’s face. “What the hell are you doing here? I thought you were… dead.” His arms fall lifelessly to his sides as he gapes at her in disbelief, as though he’s unsure if she’s real.
I stare at her in a similar manner, but for a very different reason.
The woman in front of us hardly resembles a person let alone a mother. With boney arms and legs, sunken cheekbones, and saggy skin, she looks too frail to even be standing. Still, if I look at her close enough, I can see the resemblance between her and Jax, at least in the eyes. Although, hers don’t convey the same sort of kindness as Jax’s.
