I had kidded myself to think she would listen and let me explain. Her world was being turned upside down with this news. I hadn’t told her. I hadn’t wanted to see the look of pain in her eyes, which I didn’t know how to ease. But I had let this happen instead, and it was so much worse.
“He is the liar. He isn’t worth the dirt beneath my feet. If Nan is his daughter, if you were pregnant . . .” Blaire had been pointing at Abe as she spoke, but she stopped and moved her attention to my mother.
For the first time, she actually looked at my mother. And she remembered. She staggered back, and I wanted to reach out and hold her again, but I didn’t. She needed to get control on her own first. She didn’t want my help.
“Who are you?” she asked, as my mother stared at her with a haunted look in her eyes.
“Careful how you answer that,” I warned my mother, after I stepped up behind Blaire, just in case she needed me.
My mother looked at Abe and then back to Blaire. “You know who I am, Blaire. We’ve met before.”
“You came to my house. You . . . you made my mother cry.”
My mother rolled her eyes, and I tensed.
“Last warning, Mother,” I growled.
“Nan wanted to meet her father. So I brought her to him. She got to see his nice little family, with the pretty blond twin daughters he loved and an equally perfect wife. I was tired of having to tell my daughter she didn’t have a father. She knew she did. So I showed her just what he had chosen instead of her. She didn’t ask about him again until much later in life.”
Blaire’s knees went weak, and she gasped for air. Shit, she was going to have a panic attack.
“Blaire, please, look at me,” I begged her, but she didn’t respond. She kept her gaze on the ground as everything slowly sank in for her. I hated watching this. I wanted to order them all out of here so I could hold Blaire until everything was right again. But she needed this. It was out there. She wanted her answers.
Abe spoke. “I was engaged to Georgianna. She was pregnant with Nan. Your mother came to visit her. She was like no one I’d ever met. She was addictive. I couldn’t seem to stay away from her. Georgianna was still pining over Dean, and Rush was still visiting his dad every other weekend. I expected Georgie to go to Dean the minute he decided he wanted a family. I wasn’t even sure Nan was mine. Your mother was innocent and fun. She wasn’t into rockers, and she made me laugh. I pursued her, and she ignored me. Then I lied to her. I told her Georgie was pregnant with another of Dean’s kids. She felt sorry for me. I somehow persuaded her to run away with me. To throw away a friendship she’d had all her life.” When Abe finished his explanation, I realized that was the most I had ever heard him say at one time.
Blaire covered her ears and closed her eyes tightly. “Stop. I don’t want to hear it. I just want my things. I just want to leave.” Blaire sobbed, ripping me in two.
“Baby, please talk to me. Please.” I pleaded with her and touched her arms, needing some form of connection to her.
She moved away from me, but she didn’t look at me. “I can’t look at you. I don’t want to talk to you. I just want my things. I want to go home.”
No. No. No. I couldn’t lose her. No. She wasn’t leaving me. I loved her. She owned me. She had to fight for us. I needed her to fight.
“Blaire, honey, there is no home,” Abe said. I knew he meant to remind her that she had nowhere to go, but I wanted to bury my fist in his face. She didn’t need to hear that from him right now.
Blaire glared at her father. “My mother’s and my sister’s graves are home. I want to be near them. I’ve stood here and listened to y’all tell me my mother was someone I know she wasn’t. She would have never done what you’re accusing her of. Stay here with your family, Abe. I’m sure they will love you as much as your last one did. Try not to kill any of them,” she said in words laced with hatred.
Then she turned and fled up the stairs. I stared at her and considered locking her in my room and forcing her to stay with me. To listen to me. Would she forgive me then? Could I do that to her?
“She’s unstable and dangerous,” my mother hissed.
I stalked over to her and got up in her face for the first time I my life. “Her world was just ripped away from her. Everything she’s known. So for once in your life, don’t be a selfish bitch, and shut the hell up. Because I am ready to throw you both out and let you figure out a way to f**king survive on your own.”
I didn’t wait to listen to her response, because I knew it would push me over the edge. I had to try to talk to Blaire without her father and my mother in the way.
I stood in the doorway of her room as she crammed her clothing into the suitcase she had arrived with only weeks ago.
“You can’t leave me,” I said, fighting the emotion clogging my throat.
“Watch me,” she replied.
The emptiness in her voice was killing me. That wasn’t my Blaire. I wouldn’t let this lie take her from me. My Blaire wasn’t so lifeless and cold inside.
“Blaire, you didn’t let me explain. I was going to tell you everything today. They came home last night, and I panicked. I needed to tell you first.” I wasn’t making sense, and she was leaving, but I didn’t know what the f**k to say to get her to stay. Slamming my fist against the doorframe, I tried to focus. I had to say the right thing. “You were not supposed to find out that way. Not like that. God, not like that.” I was losing it. The panic and fear were hindering my thoughts.
“I can’t stay here,” she said. “I can’t see you. You represent the pain and betrayal of not just me but my mom. Whatever we had is over. It died the minute I walked downstairs and realized the world I’d always known was a lie.”
Her words were so final. How could I fight if she refused to give us a chance? Would she never be able to look at me any other way again? I couldn’t live in a world like that. One without Blaire.
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
Fighting to breathe through the pain, I turned and followed her. She didn’t want me. She didn’t want this. But I couldn’t just let her go. Where would she go? Where would she sleep? Who would make sure she ate? Who would hold her when she cried? She needed me. And God, I needed her.
Blaire reached the bottom step, took the phone out of her pocket, and shoved it at Abe. “Take it. I don’t want it,” she said.
“Why would I take your phone?” Abe asked.
“Because I don’t want anything from you,” she yelled at him.
“I didn’t give you that phone,” he said.
“Take the phone, Blaire,” I said. “If you want to leave, I can’t hold you here. But please, take the phone.” I was ready to get on my knees and beg. She had to take that phone. Dammit, she needed a phone.
Blaire laid it down on the bottom step. “I can’t,” she said, and I knew I couldn’t make her take it, either. I couldn’t do anything. I was f**king useless. Her world had just been blown to pieces, and I was f**king useless.
“You look just like her,” my mother said to Blaire’s back.
“I only hope I can be half the woman she was,” Blaire said, with complete conviction in her voice.
The door closed behind her.
I had to do something.
I moved down the stairs, not taking my eyes off the door. I couldn’t just stay here and let her drive away. “Where will she go?” I asked Abe. He would have an idea.
“She’ll go back to Alabama. The only other home she knows. She has friends there. They will take her in,” he said.
Nan’s scream came from outside, and my heart stopped. Had something happened to Blaire? I ran down the stairs, but not before my mother and Abe had bounded out the door.
“Blaire! Put the gun down. Nan, don’t move. She knows how to use that thing better than most men,” Abe ordered in a calm voice.
Holy shit, Blaire was holding a gun on Nan. What the f**k had Nan said?
“What is she doing with that thing? Is that even legal for her to have?” my mother asked.
“She has a permit, and she knows what she’s doing. Stay calm,” Abe said, sounding annoyed.
Blaire lowered the gun. “I’m gonna get in that truck and drive out of your life. Forever. Just keep your mouth shut about my momma. I won’t listen to it again,” Blaire said, glaring at Nan. Then she climbed inside the truck, and without a backward glance, she drove away.
“She’s f**king insane,” Nan said, turning to look back at us.
I couldn’t stand out here and listen to them. She was leaving me. I couldn’t just let her go alone. Anything could happen to her. I turned and went inside and up to my room.
The smell of Blaire hit me as I reached the top step, and I had to stop and grit my teeth through the pain. Just two hours ago, I had lain in that bed and held her in my arms.
I walked over to the bed, sat down, and picked up the pillow she’d been sleeping on and held it to my face. God, it smelled just like her. A sob broke free, and I fought to keep it back, but I couldn’t. I had lost her. My Blaire. I had lost my Blaire.
No. No. I wasn’t accepting that.
I stood up and laid the pillow back down reverently. I was going after her. I needed some clothes and my wallet. I was going to get her. She needed me. She didn’t want me right now, but she would after the shock wore off. I could hold her and ease her pain. I would hold her while she cried. Then I would spend my life making things right. Making her happy. So f**king happy.
I walked back down the stairs with my bag in my hands, while my mother, my sister, and Abe stood in the foyer talking about Blaire and what had happened, I was sure. I wasn’t listening to them. I was leaving.
“Where are you going?” my mother asked me.
“She held a gun to my head, Rush! Do you not care about that? She could have killed me!” Nan knew where I was going.
I stopped and looked at my mother first. “I’m going to get Blaire.” Then I looked at my sister. “You will learn to shut your f**king mouth. You said the wrong thing to the wrong person this time, and you learned a lesson. Next time, think before you spew shit.” I jerked the door open.
“What if she won’t come back with you? She hates us, Rush,” my mother said, sounding annoyed at the idea of her even coming here.
“If she won’t come back with me, then you all will have to move out. I will not live in my house with the people who destroyed her world. Decide where you plan to go, because I don’t want you here when I return.” I slammed the door behind me.
The eight-hour drive to Summit, Alabama, would have been easier if I hadn’t been tailing Blaire and also trying to keep her from seeing me. Hiding a black Range Rover on country roads wasn’t easy. I had to let her get out of sight more times than I wanted, but it was the only way to follow her. I had the small town plugged into my GPS, and luckily, Blaire seemed to be taking the same route the GPS suggested.
When I entered the small town, I saw that the Welcome to Summit, Alabama, sign was worn and in need of some new paint, but you could make out what it said well enough. I had let her get a good ten minutes ahead of me, because it was the only way to stay out of her sight. I pulled through the first traffic light. According to Google, this town had only three traffic lights. At the next one, I saw the cemetery sign and turned. The parking lot was empty except for Blaire’s truck and another truck. I didn’t park where she could see me; I made sure to park down the road a bit.
She had come to see her mother. And her sister. Had my heart ever truly broken for someone else like this? I had hated how Nan was neglected, but had I ever felt this kind of emotion for her pain? The idea of Blaire dealing with this alone was too much. She had to listen to me.
When I saw her blue truck move, I waited until I was sure it had pulled back onto the road before following at a safe distance. She turned right at the first traffic light and then parked at a motel. I was sure it was the only motel for miles and miles. As much as I hated the idea of her staying here, I was glad I wouldn’t have to do this at some stranger’s house. We had privacy here.
While she was inside getting a room, I parked my car and got out and waited. I wasn’t sure what I was going to say or if I was just going to beg. But I had to do something. Blaire stepped back out of the office, and her eyes locked with mine. Her step faltered, and then she sighed. She hadn’t expected me to follow her. Again, did she not understand how f**king crazy I was about her?
A car door slammed just as she started walking toward me, and she turned her head and frowned at the guy who had just climbed out of the truck, the same one I’d just seen at the cemetery. I knew without an introduction that the guy was Cain. The possessive way he watched her told me that he’d once had a claim on her. He just needed to know that the claim was no longer valid.
“I’m hoping like hell you know this guy, ’cause he followed you here from the cemetery. I noticed him on the side of the road watching us a ways back, but I didn’t say anything,” Cain said as he sauntered over to stand in front of Blaire.
“I know him,” Blaire said without pause.
“He the reason you came running home?” Cain asked.
“No,” she said, then looked back at me. “Why are you here?” she asked me, without coming any closer.
“You’re here,” I replied simply.
“I can’t do this, Rush.”
Yes, she could. I had to get her to see that. I took a step toward her. “Talk to me. Please, Blaire. There is so much I need to explain.”
“He is the liar. He isn’t worth the dirt beneath my feet. If Nan is his daughter, if you were pregnant . . .” Blaire had been pointing at Abe as she spoke, but she stopped and moved her attention to my mother.
For the first time, she actually looked at my mother. And she remembered. She staggered back, and I wanted to reach out and hold her again, but I didn’t. She needed to get control on her own first. She didn’t want my help.
“Who are you?” she asked, as my mother stared at her with a haunted look in her eyes.
“Careful how you answer that,” I warned my mother, after I stepped up behind Blaire, just in case she needed me.
My mother looked at Abe and then back to Blaire. “You know who I am, Blaire. We’ve met before.”
“You came to my house. You . . . you made my mother cry.”
My mother rolled her eyes, and I tensed.
“Last warning, Mother,” I growled.
“Nan wanted to meet her father. So I brought her to him. She got to see his nice little family, with the pretty blond twin daughters he loved and an equally perfect wife. I was tired of having to tell my daughter she didn’t have a father. She knew she did. So I showed her just what he had chosen instead of her. She didn’t ask about him again until much later in life.”
Blaire’s knees went weak, and she gasped for air. Shit, she was going to have a panic attack.
“Blaire, please, look at me,” I begged her, but she didn’t respond. She kept her gaze on the ground as everything slowly sank in for her. I hated watching this. I wanted to order them all out of here so I could hold Blaire until everything was right again. But she needed this. It was out there. She wanted her answers.
Abe spoke. “I was engaged to Georgianna. She was pregnant with Nan. Your mother came to visit her. She was like no one I’d ever met. She was addictive. I couldn’t seem to stay away from her. Georgianna was still pining over Dean, and Rush was still visiting his dad every other weekend. I expected Georgie to go to Dean the minute he decided he wanted a family. I wasn’t even sure Nan was mine. Your mother was innocent and fun. She wasn’t into rockers, and she made me laugh. I pursued her, and she ignored me. Then I lied to her. I told her Georgie was pregnant with another of Dean’s kids. She felt sorry for me. I somehow persuaded her to run away with me. To throw away a friendship she’d had all her life.” When Abe finished his explanation, I realized that was the most I had ever heard him say at one time.
Blaire covered her ears and closed her eyes tightly. “Stop. I don’t want to hear it. I just want my things. I just want to leave.” Blaire sobbed, ripping me in two.
“Baby, please talk to me. Please.” I pleaded with her and touched her arms, needing some form of connection to her.
She moved away from me, but she didn’t look at me. “I can’t look at you. I don’t want to talk to you. I just want my things. I want to go home.”
No. No. No. I couldn’t lose her. No. She wasn’t leaving me. I loved her. She owned me. She had to fight for us. I needed her to fight.
“Blaire, honey, there is no home,” Abe said. I knew he meant to remind her that she had nowhere to go, but I wanted to bury my fist in his face. She didn’t need to hear that from him right now.
Blaire glared at her father. “My mother’s and my sister’s graves are home. I want to be near them. I’ve stood here and listened to y’all tell me my mother was someone I know she wasn’t. She would have never done what you’re accusing her of. Stay here with your family, Abe. I’m sure they will love you as much as your last one did. Try not to kill any of them,” she said in words laced with hatred.
Then she turned and fled up the stairs. I stared at her and considered locking her in my room and forcing her to stay with me. To listen to me. Would she forgive me then? Could I do that to her?
“She’s unstable and dangerous,” my mother hissed.
I stalked over to her and got up in her face for the first time I my life. “Her world was just ripped away from her. Everything she’s known. So for once in your life, don’t be a selfish bitch, and shut the hell up. Because I am ready to throw you both out and let you figure out a way to f**king survive on your own.”
I didn’t wait to listen to her response, because I knew it would push me over the edge. I had to try to talk to Blaire without her father and my mother in the way.
I stood in the doorway of her room as she crammed her clothing into the suitcase she had arrived with only weeks ago.
“You can’t leave me,” I said, fighting the emotion clogging my throat.
“Watch me,” she replied.
The emptiness in her voice was killing me. That wasn’t my Blaire. I wouldn’t let this lie take her from me. My Blaire wasn’t so lifeless and cold inside.
“Blaire, you didn’t let me explain. I was going to tell you everything today. They came home last night, and I panicked. I needed to tell you first.” I wasn’t making sense, and she was leaving, but I didn’t know what the f**k to say to get her to stay. Slamming my fist against the doorframe, I tried to focus. I had to say the right thing. “You were not supposed to find out that way. Not like that. God, not like that.” I was losing it. The panic and fear were hindering my thoughts.
“I can’t stay here,” she said. “I can’t see you. You represent the pain and betrayal of not just me but my mom. Whatever we had is over. It died the minute I walked downstairs and realized the world I’d always known was a lie.”
Her words were so final. How could I fight if she refused to give us a chance? Would she never be able to look at me any other way again? I couldn’t live in a world like that. One without Blaire.
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
Fighting to breathe through the pain, I turned and followed her. She didn’t want me. She didn’t want this. But I couldn’t just let her go. Where would she go? Where would she sleep? Who would make sure she ate? Who would hold her when she cried? She needed me. And God, I needed her.
Blaire reached the bottom step, took the phone out of her pocket, and shoved it at Abe. “Take it. I don’t want it,” she said.
“Why would I take your phone?” Abe asked.
“Because I don’t want anything from you,” she yelled at him.
“I didn’t give you that phone,” he said.
“Take the phone, Blaire,” I said. “If you want to leave, I can’t hold you here. But please, take the phone.” I was ready to get on my knees and beg. She had to take that phone. Dammit, she needed a phone.
Blaire laid it down on the bottom step. “I can’t,” she said, and I knew I couldn’t make her take it, either. I couldn’t do anything. I was f**king useless. Her world had just been blown to pieces, and I was f**king useless.
“You look just like her,” my mother said to Blaire’s back.
“I only hope I can be half the woman she was,” Blaire said, with complete conviction in her voice.
The door closed behind her.
I had to do something.
I moved down the stairs, not taking my eyes off the door. I couldn’t just stay here and let her drive away. “Where will she go?” I asked Abe. He would have an idea.
“She’ll go back to Alabama. The only other home she knows. She has friends there. They will take her in,” he said.
Nan’s scream came from outside, and my heart stopped. Had something happened to Blaire? I ran down the stairs, but not before my mother and Abe had bounded out the door.
“Blaire! Put the gun down. Nan, don’t move. She knows how to use that thing better than most men,” Abe ordered in a calm voice.
Holy shit, Blaire was holding a gun on Nan. What the f**k had Nan said?
“What is she doing with that thing? Is that even legal for her to have?” my mother asked.
“She has a permit, and she knows what she’s doing. Stay calm,” Abe said, sounding annoyed.
Blaire lowered the gun. “I’m gonna get in that truck and drive out of your life. Forever. Just keep your mouth shut about my momma. I won’t listen to it again,” Blaire said, glaring at Nan. Then she climbed inside the truck, and without a backward glance, she drove away.
“She’s f**king insane,” Nan said, turning to look back at us.
I couldn’t stand out here and listen to them. She was leaving me. I couldn’t just let her go alone. Anything could happen to her. I turned and went inside and up to my room.
The smell of Blaire hit me as I reached the top step, and I had to stop and grit my teeth through the pain. Just two hours ago, I had lain in that bed and held her in my arms.
I walked over to the bed, sat down, and picked up the pillow she’d been sleeping on and held it to my face. God, it smelled just like her. A sob broke free, and I fought to keep it back, but I couldn’t. I had lost her. My Blaire. I had lost my Blaire.
No. No. I wasn’t accepting that.
I stood up and laid the pillow back down reverently. I was going after her. I needed some clothes and my wallet. I was going to get her. She needed me. She didn’t want me right now, but she would after the shock wore off. I could hold her and ease her pain. I would hold her while she cried. Then I would spend my life making things right. Making her happy. So f**king happy.
I walked back down the stairs with my bag in my hands, while my mother, my sister, and Abe stood in the foyer talking about Blaire and what had happened, I was sure. I wasn’t listening to them. I was leaving.
“Where are you going?” my mother asked me.
“She held a gun to my head, Rush! Do you not care about that? She could have killed me!” Nan knew where I was going.
I stopped and looked at my mother first. “I’m going to get Blaire.” Then I looked at my sister. “You will learn to shut your f**king mouth. You said the wrong thing to the wrong person this time, and you learned a lesson. Next time, think before you spew shit.” I jerked the door open.
“What if she won’t come back with you? She hates us, Rush,” my mother said, sounding annoyed at the idea of her even coming here.
“If she won’t come back with me, then you all will have to move out. I will not live in my house with the people who destroyed her world. Decide where you plan to go, because I don’t want you here when I return.” I slammed the door behind me.
The eight-hour drive to Summit, Alabama, would have been easier if I hadn’t been tailing Blaire and also trying to keep her from seeing me. Hiding a black Range Rover on country roads wasn’t easy. I had to let her get out of sight more times than I wanted, but it was the only way to follow her. I had the small town plugged into my GPS, and luckily, Blaire seemed to be taking the same route the GPS suggested.
When I entered the small town, I saw that the Welcome to Summit, Alabama, sign was worn and in need of some new paint, but you could make out what it said well enough. I had let her get a good ten minutes ahead of me, because it was the only way to stay out of her sight. I pulled through the first traffic light. According to Google, this town had only three traffic lights. At the next one, I saw the cemetery sign and turned. The parking lot was empty except for Blaire’s truck and another truck. I didn’t park where she could see me; I made sure to park down the road a bit.
She had come to see her mother. And her sister. Had my heart ever truly broken for someone else like this? I had hated how Nan was neglected, but had I ever felt this kind of emotion for her pain? The idea of Blaire dealing with this alone was too much. She had to listen to me.
When I saw her blue truck move, I waited until I was sure it had pulled back onto the road before following at a safe distance. She turned right at the first traffic light and then parked at a motel. I was sure it was the only motel for miles and miles. As much as I hated the idea of her staying here, I was glad I wouldn’t have to do this at some stranger’s house. We had privacy here.
While she was inside getting a room, I parked my car and got out and waited. I wasn’t sure what I was going to say or if I was just going to beg. But I had to do something. Blaire stepped back out of the office, and her eyes locked with mine. Her step faltered, and then she sighed. She hadn’t expected me to follow her. Again, did she not understand how f**king crazy I was about her?
A car door slammed just as she started walking toward me, and she turned her head and frowned at the guy who had just climbed out of the truck, the same one I’d just seen at the cemetery. I knew without an introduction that the guy was Cain. The possessive way he watched her told me that he’d once had a claim on her. He just needed to know that the claim was no longer valid.
“I’m hoping like hell you know this guy, ’cause he followed you here from the cemetery. I noticed him on the side of the road watching us a ways back, but I didn’t say anything,” Cain said as he sauntered over to stand in front of Blaire.
“I know him,” Blaire said without pause.
“He the reason you came running home?” Cain asked.
“No,” she said, then looked back at me. “Why are you here?” she asked me, without coming any closer.
“You’re here,” I replied simply.
“I can’t do this, Rush.”
Yes, she could. I had to get her to see that. I took a step toward her. “Talk to me. Please, Blaire. There is so much I need to explain.”
