Rushing the Goal
Page 33

Letting out a long breath, Lucy picked up her phone and went into her group message with the boys.
Lucy: Mom is so happy.
Jace: You guys shopping? Avery said something about wedding dresses today.
Lucy: Yeah. It’s supersweet.
Jayden: Good, she needs to be happy.
Jude: Yeah, for sure. Send us pictures.
Lucy: I will. They set a date.
Jude: When?
Lucy: Christmas.
Jayden: Cool.
Jude: Awesome.
Jace: Good, all of us will be there.
Jude: But man, that means you only have a couple more months before your wife is your sister, Jay.
Jace: Yeah, that sucks. Can you guys even do it then?
Lucy: I think that’s incest.
Jayden: I hate you all. All of you.
Lucy laughed as she laid her phone down and watched as her mother came out in each dress. She didn’t like the first three and neither did her mom, but when she came out in an A-line, princess V-neck, floor-length chiffon dress with beading along the bodice and cascading ruffles on the skirt, Lucy sat up straight, holding back the tears. The dress fit her mother perfectly. It fell along her curves and gave her such a sexy shape.
“Oh, Mommy, that’s the one,” she gasped, covering her mouth. Shawna nodded as Autumn looked in the mirror, holding back her own tears. Getting a birdcage veil that was made of the same chiffon, Shawna pulled Autumn’s long, brown hair to the side and pinned it up, transforming Lucy’s mother into a bride. Turning, her mom looked back at her and grinned.
“I think it’s the one.”
“It is,” Lucy agreed, and then out of nowhere, Autumn squealed. Loudly. Making practically everyone in the shop jump, Lucy included. That had her laughing so hard, tears started to roll down her cheeks. Man, she was so happy for her mom. Getting up, she ran to her mother and held her tightly, the love for her and this moment overwhelming her.
She wanted this.
She wanted it so badly.
When Autumn pulled back, cupping Lucy’s face, she beamed at her as she wiped her tears away. “You’re next, my love.”
Lucy scoffed, rolling her eyes. “Gotta raise Angie first.”
But that made Autumn’s smile drop and her eyes narrow. “What?”
She was confused as she held her mother’s hazel gaze. “I need to raise Angie, and then I can worry about me.”
“What in the world makes you think that?”
“I don’t think it. I know it. I don’t have time for a relationship,” she said, but Autumn shook her head.
“The hell you don’t. You make time. You can’t just nurture that baby, Lucy Lane, you have to nurture you too.”
“No, Angie is all that matters, Mom. One day, I’ll worry about my needs.”
But again, her mother was shaking her head. “Lucy Lane, no. I know you worry about that baby, I know you want to do right by her, but how can you when you aren’t satisfied with where you are in life?”
Lucy’s face scrunched up. Why did everyone think she was unhappy? “Mom, I’m good.”
“Don’t lie to me, girl,” her mother snapped and Lucy’s eyes widened.
“I’m not.”
“You are so. You’re moving through life, only worrying about Angie and her wishes, and forgetting all about you,” she said. Her words had truth to them, but Lucy was fine. She really was. “When was the last time you went on a date?”
Lucy thought for a moment. She didn’t remember. Fuck, she really didn’t remember. Clearing her throat, she looked away and shrugged. “I don’t know, a couple months ago.”
“Liar.”
“Okay, Mom, what’s your point?” she asked, frustrated.
“Oh, I’m getting to it,” she said then, her hands coming to lace with Lucy’s. “Can you even tell me the last time you had sex?”
Lucy’s face twisted in horror. “Jesus! I’m not telling you that.”
“Lucy…”
“Mom!” she gasped, a laugh escaping her lips. “That’s personal.”
“Or is it because you can’t remember?” she said, squeezing her hands. Yeah, Lucy was about to cry. Damn it. Her mother was right, she didn’t remember. Somewhere in the last seven years, all that ever mattered—all that still mattered—was Angie. She was the first thing Lucy woke up thinking about, worrying about, and she was the last thing Lucy thought of at night. Nothing else mattered because Angie was it. Angie was her life, and there was nothing wrong with that. That’s the way a mother was supposed to be.
“Angie is my only priority, Mom,” she said, but it was more for herself than her mom. She believed her words, she did, but was she hiding behind them? She didn’t know, but she suspected she was.
“See, and I think the same about you, Jude, Jayden, and Jace. You four are my life, but I’ve always made time for me. I had to, or you all would drive me insane,” she said with a laugh and Lucy smiled. She had that right; the Sinclair kids were crazy. “But, baby, do you not see that in the last few years, you’ve become bitter?”
Lucy’s brows rose. “No…”
“Yes, it started with Jude getting married, and then Jayden, and now Jace.”
Had she? It wasn’t a shock when Jude got married. She knew it was coming, but she always saw him as such a baby. When Jayden got married, he did it behind everyone’s back, as did Jace, so both were shocks. But she was happy for them. Wasn’t she? Yeah, she loved her sisters-in-law. No, she was happy for them.