Rushing the Goal
Page 37
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Benji.
He smelled like heaven. All rugged and manly, with a side of spice and sex. Mmm, he smelled fantastic, and Lord, he hugged like a dream. Like he was meant to hug and only hug. Nothing else. She’d seen him play hockey and he was great, but she was pretty sure the guy hugged better than he played. She had never been held so tightly, so protectively.
And she just felt safe.
Perfectly safe.
She didn’t want him to stop, which was bad. She wasn’t supposed to be this close to him. No, because deep inside her, the fear that something could come from this was screaming loud and clear. Maybe she was jumping the gun, but if he even made the simplest of moves on her, she was pretty sure she’d be naked in two seconds flat. Her whole body was aware of him. The way he breathed, so deep, so strong. The way his lips felt against her head, it was sweet, almost like she was a child who needed support and reassurance that everything was going to be okay.
And she needed that more than he’d ever realize.
God, how she needed this man’s arms around her. Badly. After the call from the landlord that confirmed the odor she smelled was actually standing water behind the fridge, which led to the discovery of a burst water pipe and then all hell breaking loose, Lucy had found herself homeless. They weren’t even sure if she could work in the building on Monday. Which meant she would be going to her mom’s, and if she saw River’s ass, she was going to lose it. She just couldn’t catch a break. One thing after another, and it was really starting to weigh on her heart. And ugh, her mom had just picked out her wedding dress, which meant they were probably doing nasty things, and yeah, she didn’t want to be the third wheel to that lovefest.
No, she wanted to stay right here.
In Benji’s arms.
No matter how bad that was. No matter how much she knew she needed to let go and move away, she held him. Like a life preserver in rough waters. Because that’s what her life was. Freakish, fucking monstrous waves of shit that kept hitting her right in the face. She almost started to cry, but then his arms held her tighter, almost like he knew. Knew she was about to lose her fucking shit.
Oh, Lucy, no. Keep your hands to yourself, she begged herself, but she couldn’t. She just couldn’t.
She needed him.
Moving her hands up his back, she snuggled closer against him as he inhaled deeply, his whole body moving with the breath he took. His hands tucked into her sides tighter, his fingers grazing the swells of her breasts. It was such a simple touch. No big deal, she doubted he even meant to do it. But shit, it felt good and everything went hot inside of her. Her whole body broke out in gooseflesh, totally aware of the sexy man who was holding her.
Hell, she had been aware of him since the moment she met him. If she was honest with herself, turned her fucking brain off, she’d realize that she’d wanted him more than her next breath since that moment too. But she wasn’t sure she could. She didn’t know how to give in to that need, and that was just sad. Because right now, she could do some pretty naughty things to this man. The only thing holding her back was the regret afterward. It would be a mistake.
Wouldn’t it?
Closing her eyes, she moved her nose against his chest as his heart pounded against his ribs. She wasn’t sure and that scared her. Everything was muddled. On one hand, she wanted him with the fierceness of a thousand armies. And on the other, she knew it wouldn’t end well. He’d want more, or hell, she might want more. And then what? Shit, what was she doing? But she couldn’t think of that for long because the rhythm of his heartbeat was soothing, and all her worries, they…they just disappeared. It was insane, but damn it, she felt so damn good.
Safe.
It was such a beautiful feeling too, something she had never felt in her life. She used to think that Rick gave good hugs, that she was safe in his arms, but she’d been wrong. So fucking wrong. Not even hugging her father, when he was her world, or her brothers was like hugging Benji.
No, this was different.
And crap, she was turned on. So damned turned on. From a hug? Jesus, she was pitiful, but she couldn’t deny how she felt. How he made her feel. She remembered Avery saying that moments with her brother—gag—would cause her to hear Ed Sheeran in her head, singing so beautifully to the moment she was in. Yeah, Ed was singing, loud and clear, and Lucy was swooning.
When Benji started to pull back, she whimpered. He paused, holding her closer if possible, chuckling against her hair. “Lucy, tell me what’s wrong.”
She couldn’t. She didn’t want to ruin this moment. She didn’t want to cry about the shitstorm of her life right now. No, she just wanted to be held. To be protected by this man. That’s all she wanted, and she felt she deserved it. She wanted to feel safe. Was that too much to ask?
“Let me help,” he whispered, his lips brushing along her hair.
Closing her eyes, she sucked in a breath and figured she owed him at least an explanation for why she was clinging to him like he was the only solid thing in her life. Which was ludicrous. She was Lucy Fucking Sinclair, she didn’t need any man… But right now, she needed Benji, which completely contradicted what she thought of herself. But it was becoming really exhausting being strong all the time.
Moving her nose up his chest, she opened her eyes, placing her chin in the middle of his chest as she looked up at him. Which was a bad idea. Because now, she was speechless. His lips were pressed together, only a little curve to them, worry in those gray eyes locked on hers. She had never looked into such intense eyes. Like she really could see his soul. It was tarnished, but still so beautiful.
He smelled like heaven. All rugged and manly, with a side of spice and sex. Mmm, he smelled fantastic, and Lord, he hugged like a dream. Like he was meant to hug and only hug. Nothing else. She’d seen him play hockey and he was great, but she was pretty sure the guy hugged better than he played. She had never been held so tightly, so protectively.
And she just felt safe.
Perfectly safe.
She didn’t want him to stop, which was bad. She wasn’t supposed to be this close to him. No, because deep inside her, the fear that something could come from this was screaming loud and clear. Maybe she was jumping the gun, but if he even made the simplest of moves on her, she was pretty sure she’d be naked in two seconds flat. Her whole body was aware of him. The way he breathed, so deep, so strong. The way his lips felt against her head, it was sweet, almost like she was a child who needed support and reassurance that everything was going to be okay.
And she needed that more than he’d ever realize.
God, how she needed this man’s arms around her. Badly. After the call from the landlord that confirmed the odor she smelled was actually standing water behind the fridge, which led to the discovery of a burst water pipe and then all hell breaking loose, Lucy had found herself homeless. They weren’t even sure if she could work in the building on Monday. Which meant she would be going to her mom’s, and if she saw River’s ass, she was going to lose it. She just couldn’t catch a break. One thing after another, and it was really starting to weigh on her heart. And ugh, her mom had just picked out her wedding dress, which meant they were probably doing nasty things, and yeah, she didn’t want to be the third wheel to that lovefest.
No, she wanted to stay right here.
In Benji’s arms.
No matter how bad that was. No matter how much she knew she needed to let go and move away, she held him. Like a life preserver in rough waters. Because that’s what her life was. Freakish, fucking monstrous waves of shit that kept hitting her right in the face. She almost started to cry, but then his arms held her tighter, almost like he knew. Knew she was about to lose her fucking shit.
Oh, Lucy, no. Keep your hands to yourself, she begged herself, but she couldn’t. She just couldn’t.
She needed him.
Moving her hands up his back, she snuggled closer against him as he inhaled deeply, his whole body moving with the breath he took. His hands tucked into her sides tighter, his fingers grazing the swells of her breasts. It was such a simple touch. No big deal, she doubted he even meant to do it. But shit, it felt good and everything went hot inside of her. Her whole body broke out in gooseflesh, totally aware of the sexy man who was holding her.
Hell, she had been aware of him since the moment she met him. If she was honest with herself, turned her fucking brain off, she’d realize that she’d wanted him more than her next breath since that moment too. But she wasn’t sure she could. She didn’t know how to give in to that need, and that was just sad. Because right now, she could do some pretty naughty things to this man. The only thing holding her back was the regret afterward. It would be a mistake.
Wouldn’t it?
Closing her eyes, she moved her nose against his chest as his heart pounded against his ribs. She wasn’t sure and that scared her. Everything was muddled. On one hand, she wanted him with the fierceness of a thousand armies. And on the other, she knew it wouldn’t end well. He’d want more, or hell, she might want more. And then what? Shit, what was she doing? But she couldn’t think of that for long because the rhythm of his heartbeat was soothing, and all her worries, they…they just disappeared. It was insane, but damn it, she felt so damn good.
Safe.
It was such a beautiful feeling too, something she had never felt in her life. She used to think that Rick gave good hugs, that she was safe in his arms, but she’d been wrong. So fucking wrong. Not even hugging her father, when he was her world, or her brothers was like hugging Benji.
No, this was different.
And crap, she was turned on. So damned turned on. From a hug? Jesus, she was pitiful, but she couldn’t deny how she felt. How he made her feel. She remembered Avery saying that moments with her brother—gag—would cause her to hear Ed Sheeran in her head, singing so beautifully to the moment she was in. Yeah, Ed was singing, loud and clear, and Lucy was swooning.
When Benji started to pull back, she whimpered. He paused, holding her closer if possible, chuckling against her hair. “Lucy, tell me what’s wrong.”
She couldn’t. She didn’t want to ruin this moment. She didn’t want to cry about the shitstorm of her life right now. No, she just wanted to be held. To be protected by this man. That’s all she wanted, and she felt she deserved it. She wanted to feel safe. Was that too much to ask?
“Let me help,” he whispered, his lips brushing along her hair.
Closing her eyes, she sucked in a breath and figured she owed him at least an explanation for why she was clinging to him like he was the only solid thing in her life. Which was ludicrous. She was Lucy Fucking Sinclair, she didn’t need any man… But right now, she needed Benji, which completely contradicted what she thought of herself. But it was becoming really exhausting being strong all the time.
Moving her nose up his chest, she opened her eyes, placing her chin in the middle of his chest as she looked up at him. Which was a bad idea. Because now, she was speechless. His lips were pressed together, only a little curve to them, worry in those gray eyes locked on hers. She had never looked into such intense eyes. Like she really could see his soul. It was tarnished, but still so beautiful.
