Rushing the Goal
Page 42
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“Damn it,” Lucy muttered, shaking her head.
“What in the world? What is going on?”
“I slept with him,” she said and then looked up at the Walmart in front of her. She was early. Rick wouldn’t be there for another hour. But after going to the shop and her apartment, where she realized that she wouldn’t be coming back for a while—Tuesday, her ass—she gathered what she could and stuffed it into her car. Hard feat when she was wearing a tight dress and no panties. There was no way to change in her apartment since they had torn down the wall between her room and the kitchen. She could have gone into the bathroom, but one of the workers was in there.
And apparently his breakfast did not agree with him.
So her week of hell was ending in a fiery heap, which was exactly how it started. But could she really consider last night part of her week of hell? Because it was on the opposite side of hell. No, it was perfect. So damn good and she wanted more, she did, but how? How in the world could that work? At first, she thought a date would be a good idea, but after being with him, no, a date would be a train wreck.
Because after one night.
One smile.
One press of his nose to hers.
She was fucking feeling something.
Damn it.
That was the issue with sex. It was a double-edged sword. One edge was great, “Woo-hoo, she loved sex. Giggity, giggity.” But on the other edge, feelings could blossom. She’d wanted mindless, fun, happy, giggity sex, but she got more than that. She desired more. She wanted to know him. She wanted to never leave that bed, and that was what scared her so badly that she had to run. Never in her life had she had felt what she felt in Benji’s arms, and she didn’t understand it.
She didn’t have time for it.
No, she had to raise Angie right. She had to deal with Rick, and bringing a man into that just wouldn’t work. It couldn’t. Rick would be such a fucking asshole, and that would have Benji running the other way. No one wanted to deal with stupid baby-daddy issues.
But Avery didn’t know all that. Hell, she probably didn’t need to know anything. Yet, Lucy whispered, “I slept with Benji.”
Avery took in a sharp breath and then paused. “Okay. Why do you sound like you kicked a dog? I don’t get it. I thought this is what you wanted.”
Lucy shut her eyes once more, shaking her head. “I jumped him like a cat in heat, Avery. We went at it like rabbits and I ran. I left before he woke up.”
“What? Why did you do that? And why so many animal references?”
“Focus, Avery,” she complained and Avery laughed.
“I’m sorry, I just don’t understand what is going on. You wanted to have sex, you had it, and it’s okay that you ran. People do that all the time. It isn’t like you guys are in a relationship. It was a one-night stand. So what?”
Why was she so callous about this? “You make it seem like not even a big deal!”
“It isn’t!” Avery laughed. “People seriously do it all the time. Hell, I’ve done it.”
Not something she wanted to know about her perfect angel sister-in-law who was married to her baby brother and had his child. “Avery Rose!”
She kept laughing. “That’s how Jace and I got together.”
Gag. “Oh, fuck. Shut up!”
Laughing, Avery cleared her throat. “It’s not a big deal, really. Stop stressing.”
“So you’ve done it with your daughter’s coach, who is also your potential client?”
Avery paused at that. “Oh, also the dude who plays with your brother in the NHL. Okay, well, that does complicate things a bit.”
“A bit!” Lucy screeched, shaking her head, and then wrapped her arms around her legs. “Avery, I’m sitting in my car, no panties, with one shoe on. I’m a mess. A water pipe busted in the wall of my apartment, and they have to tear down walls and fix shit. I’m homeless.”
“Oh, Lucy—”
But Lucy stopped her. Why had she said all that? Shit. “No, you know what? It’s no big deal. I’m gonna find some panties, pull them up, and then I’m gonna be okay. I’m always okay. I’ve got this.”
“Lucy—”
“No, it’s cool. I don’t know why I called. I’m fine. Just a lot at once, and then Benji, yeah, he got under my skin. No big deal. I’ll handle it with grace. I’ll design his house and nothing will come of it. We are adults. People fuck all the time, no big deal. Maybe he’ll pay me more,” she said it as a joke, but even she didn’t laugh. It wasn’t funny. She wasn’t a whore; that wasn’t her. But last night she almost was, and she could feel Avery’s sympathy coming off her in waves through the phone and against her face. But she didn’t need that.
She was Lucy Fucking Sinclair, and she would handle this. She had it. She would stuff the stupid, crazy feelings back down, lock them up, and get on with her life. She didn’t have time to complicate things further with Benji. She obviously needed his job because she had nowhere to live and could maybe lose the building for her shop. No, she had things to worry about, bigger things than stupid feelings.
Feelings that were completely and utterly insane to have.
It was one night.
Get your shit together, she thought as she shook her head. What, she slept with a guy for the first time in years, and all of a sudden, she liked him? That was insane. Stupid, even. God, she was a dumbass.
“What in the world? What is going on?”
“I slept with him,” she said and then looked up at the Walmart in front of her. She was early. Rick wouldn’t be there for another hour. But after going to the shop and her apartment, where she realized that she wouldn’t be coming back for a while—Tuesday, her ass—she gathered what she could and stuffed it into her car. Hard feat when she was wearing a tight dress and no panties. There was no way to change in her apartment since they had torn down the wall between her room and the kitchen. She could have gone into the bathroom, but one of the workers was in there.
And apparently his breakfast did not agree with him.
So her week of hell was ending in a fiery heap, which was exactly how it started. But could she really consider last night part of her week of hell? Because it was on the opposite side of hell. No, it was perfect. So damn good and she wanted more, she did, but how? How in the world could that work? At first, she thought a date would be a good idea, but after being with him, no, a date would be a train wreck.
Because after one night.
One smile.
One press of his nose to hers.
She was fucking feeling something.
Damn it.
That was the issue with sex. It was a double-edged sword. One edge was great, “Woo-hoo, she loved sex. Giggity, giggity.” But on the other edge, feelings could blossom. She’d wanted mindless, fun, happy, giggity sex, but she got more than that. She desired more. She wanted to know him. She wanted to never leave that bed, and that was what scared her so badly that she had to run. Never in her life had she had felt what she felt in Benji’s arms, and she didn’t understand it.
She didn’t have time for it.
No, she had to raise Angie right. She had to deal with Rick, and bringing a man into that just wouldn’t work. It couldn’t. Rick would be such a fucking asshole, and that would have Benji running the other way. No one wanted to deal with stupid baby-daddy issues.
But Avery didn’t know all that. Hell, she probably didn’t need to know anything. Yet, Lucy whispered, “I slept with Benji.”
Avery took in a sharp breath and then paused. “Okay. Why do you sound like you kicked a dog? I don’t get it. I thought this is what you wanted.”
Lucy shut her eyes once more, shaking her head. “I jumped him like a cat in heat, Avery. We went at it like rabbits and I ran. I left before he woke up.”
“What? Why did you do that? And why so many animal references?”
“Focus, Avery,” she complained and Avery laughed.
“I’m sorry, I just don’t understand what is going on. You wanted to have sex, you had it, and it’s okay that you ran. People do that all the time. It isn’t like you guys are in a relationship. It was a one-night stand. So what?”
Why was she so callous about this? “You make it seem like not even a big deal!”
“It isn’t!” Avery laughed. “People seriously do it all the time. Hell, I’ve done it.”
Not something she wanted to know about her perfect angel sister-in-law who was married to her baby brother and had his child. “Avery Rose!”
She kept laughing. “That’s how Jace and I got together.”
Gag. “Oh, fuck. Shut up!”
Laughing, Avery cleared her throat. “It’s not a big deal, really. Stop stressing.”
“So you’ve done it with your daughter’s coach, who is also your potential client?”
Avery paused at that. “Oh, also the dude who plays with your brother in the NHL. Okay, well, that does complicate things a bit.”
“A bit!” Lucy screeched, shaking her head, and then wrapped her arms around her legs. “Avery, I’m sitting in my car, no panties, with one shoe on. I’m a mess. A water pipe busted in the wall of my apartment, and they have to tear down walls and fix shit. I’m homeless.”
“Oh, Lucy—”
But Lucy stopped her. Why had she said all that? Shit. “No, you know what? It’s no big deal. I’m gonna find some panties, pull them up, and then I’m gonna be okay. I’m always okay. I’ve got this.”
“Lucy—”
“No, it’s cool. I don’t know why I called. I’m fine. Just a lot at once, and then Benji, yeah, he got under my skin. No big deal. I’ll handle it with grace. I’ll design his house and nothing will come of it. We are adults. People fuck all the time, no big deal. Maybe he’ll pay me more,” she said it as a joke, but even she didn’t laugh. It wasn’t funny. She wasn’t a whore; that wasn’t her. But last night she almost was, and she could feel Avery’s sympathy coming off her in waves through the phone and against her face. But she didn’t need that.
She was Lucy Fucking Sinclair, and she would handle this. She had it. She would stuff the stupid, crazy feelings back down, lock them up, and get on with her life. She didn’t have time to complicate things further with Benji. She obviously needed his job because she had nowhere to live and could maybe lose the building for her shop. No, she had things to worry about, bigger things than stupid feelings.
Feelings that were completely and utterly insane to have.
It was one night.
Get your shit together, she thought as she shook her head. What, she slept with a guy for the first time in years, and all of a sudden, she liked him? That was insane. Stupid, even. God, she was a dumbass.
