Ruthless Game
Page 39

He framed her face with his hands—hands that were so big in comparison to her. He was twice her size, twice her weight easily, and yet in her small hands he was lost, completely lost. And he wanted to be. Somewhere in between running from the cartel and fighting Whitney, delivering their baby and lying next to her soft body in the middle of the night, he’d given himself, heart and soul, to her.
“I’m in love with you, Rose,” he said, looking into those beautiful, dark eyes. He felt as if he was tumbling into a dark, warm, bottomless well.
The laughter faded from her eyes, and she blinked as if her eyes were burning. “You don’t have to say that to me, Kane.”
“I don’t say what I don’t mean, Rose.”
She took a deep breath and blinked. This time he could see tears glistening on the tips of her lashes.
“Sweetheart.” He bent to kiss the tears from her eyes. “That’s a good thing, not a bad thing. We’ve committed our lives to one another. Loving you is good.”
“Is it real?” Her voice shook. A whisper of sound. Maybe a plea. Or denial.
“Are you asking me if it’s something you can count on? Because if that’s what you’re worried about, Rose, the way I feel about you isn’t going to go away. I’m in love with you. I’ve never thought it, let alone said it, to another woman. Pairing is about physical lust, not love. Whitney can’t manipulate emotion, only our bodies. What I feel for you is real, Rose. It’s about you and the person you are.”
She searched his face, a long, slow study. He stood very still, letting her see the truth in his eyes. She shook him to his very core. Her strength and courage. Her determination. She’d come to him, committed to him, to a life with him to protect their child. She’d asked Whitney to pair her with him, knowing there was the possibility that they wouldn’t find one another—and that she’d never be physically satisfied with anyone else, but she’d done it because she took responsibility for her choice.
How could a man like him, one devoted to duty and honor, not respect and admire her? Everything about her personality appealed to the man in him.
“You might have to say it several times a day for me to believe it,” she warned. “I’ve never been good with fairy tales.”
A slow grin teased his mouth. He could feel the warmth spreading through his body—her sun—slowly heating his blood. “So I’m the prince. I always wanted to be a prince.”
Rose continued to look into his eyes. Her slender arms circled his neck, and she brought his head down to hers. He watched her eyes go dark and dreamy as his mouth took hers.
Sebastian kicked him hard, squirming as their bodies came together. They broke apart, laughing.
“Sorry about that, son,” Kane said, taking him gently from the front pack to cradle him in his arms. “I can’t resist your mother. You have to admit she’s pretty darn sexy.”
Rose rolled her eyes, blushing. “Don’t tell him that. You don’t know what he understands yet. I’m still reading all those baby books. I have to tell you, Kane, there are so many contradictions with all these so-called experts.”
“Well, do we want to start off by lying to him? You are darned sexy. And what’s wrong with him knowing his daddy finds his mommy very attractive?”
“I don’t know. I don’t know the first thing about raising a child.” Rose shoved her hand through her hair in agitation. “I’ll probably mess up his little psyche.”
“By the time we have our fifth or sixth you’ll be a pro,” Kane teased. He nuzzled Sebastian’s head. “Do you hear that, son? You’re our experiment, so you’ll have all sorts of excuses to do very naughty things.”
Rose threw back her head and laughed, the sound music that seemed to penetrate through the fog and float right over the city.
“Listen, Sebastian,” he whispered. “That beautiful sound belongs to us for the rest of our lives. That’s your mother.
She’s sunshine. No matter what happens in our lives, we have that.”
Rose swallowed convulsively and tucked her hand into the crook of his elbow. “Enough lessons for the day. I know you’re getting stronger, Kane, but we don’t want to overdo it. Let’s go back inside.”
He could barely look into her eyes. She might not think she knew what love was, but he could see it shining in her gaze. There was happiness—and he’d managed—somehow—to put it there inside her.
They made their way down to the door on the roof, leading to the stairwell. They’d been climbing the three stories every day to the roof for the last week to help strengthen Kane and to allow Rose to get acquainted with the neighborhood and give her as much information as possible about urban warfare. She soaked up information at a rapid rate, and when they went to the soundproof firing range on the second floor, she always put her bullets exactly where she was aiming. Kane had no doubt she’d be an asset to their team.
In a way, it would be added protection from Whitney. If Rose was serving on the GhostWalker Team Three, the man, as fanatical as he was about his country, would feel as if she was utilizing her training and might be more inclined to leave her alone.
“Do you want me to take the baby?” Rose asked as they passed the third floor where Jaimie and Mack lived.
He glanced down at her upturned, anxious face and gave her a ferocious scowl. Any other member of his team would have backed off instantly. She just kept giving him that worried look women seemed to wear around men when they were about to fuss. “I am perfectly fine. Our son doesn’t weigh much, and I’m not sick, Rose.”
Rose studied his furious face. She didn’t point out that he was breathing a little hard and small beads of sweat coated his brow. He was overdoing it, pushing himself to get back in shape. Kane wasn’t the type of man to want a lot of sympathy. He had already begun working out again, and just this morning she’d woken up and he was already leaving the bed to go run.
“You’re not perfectly fine. You’re stubborn beyond all hope,” she corrected.
He winked at her and continued down the next flight of stairs. Her stomach fluttered, and she pressed her hand tight over it. From the moment she’d laid eyes on him, she’d been attracted, and watching him with others, the unusual respect, the competent way he carried himself, she’d become interested, but that was nothing compared to what she felt now that she’d spent time with him.
She glanced at him, at the way he held their son, and along with the silly fluttering in her stomach, her heart sort of melted and left her feeling foolish. She didn’t know what normal was, so she had nothing to compare her strange emotions to. Of course, growing up, all of the women in the compound had discussed the men they’d encountered, but there was always such a separation between them: guards who kept them prisoners and the instructors who trained them.
She dropped back a couple more steps. She’d never felt as if she needed rescuing. She hadn’t considered herself the princess in the tower, not once, not ever. There was something in Kane, a tough, cynical man, a soldier who carried death in his eyes, yet he could handle a baby as gently as she could. He made her feel fragile and beautiful and so feminine. She wanted to be the princess he carried off.
They passed the second floor, the one housing computers on one side and the training center on the other. There was such freedom in just walking down the steps without seeking permission first. Maybe that was the reason she had to go out shopping. The money Lily Whitney-Miller had set aside in her name was an enormous amount and growing all the time. Jaimie had put through all the necessary paperwork, and for the first time, she had the ability to walk into a store and purchase something. She didn’t have to sneak in and steal. She didn’t have to hide, and most of all, she didn’t need permission.
She glanced surreptitiously at Kane from under her lashes. She wasn’t testing him, exactly, but then again, maybe that was exactly what she was doing. She didn’t want to live with guards, even if the cage was gilded. Kane was so good to her, and she was beginning to believe, one tiny moment at a time, that the life she was living was real—not one of Whitney’s ruthless games. A part of her, as guilty and ashamed as it made her feel, had to push to see the truth.
She’d seen Kane’s face when she told him she was going shopping. He’d never really answered her about the shopping. She’d allowed the subject to drop, choosing instead to tease him a little because she’d been afraid of the answer, afraid that everything she was living was just an illusion. Whitney was adept at creating illusion.
They’d made it to the first floor, and Kane held the heavy door for her, stepping back to allow her to enter first. A courtesy. So Kane. He was always courteous. Always the gentleman with her. She looked around the huge warehouse. They had begun to make it a home. To her it was an incredible gift, a garden paradise. Was there really an underlying evil? Had Whitney manufactured this as well?
She blinked rapidly, aware of the sudden burning in her eyes, and walked to the window, staring out into the street. Most of the windows had slowly been refitted. Tinted and bulletproof, they didn’t have bars on them. She was happy, truly happy, and yet she couldn’t stop being afraid that none of it was real. Whitney had deceived them all so many times, she didn’t dare believe.
“What is it, Rose?” Kane asked.
She should have known he would notice her sudden withdrawal. He noticed the smallest details about everything.
“Sometimes I feel like I’m holding my breath.” She waited, willing him to understand, terrified that he would and he’d be angry with her for not believing.
Kane was silent. She felt him behind her. Just standing there, not saying or doing anything. Had she hurt him? Probably. How could she not when she was still afraid Whitney had found another way to torment her? It would be the ultimate betrayal, and Whitney was capable of such an elaborate setup.
She turned and looked up at him. Tall, broad-shouldered, strong jaw, thick chest, yet he cradled their son so gently, and his eyes were looking at him with compassion.
“If you hold your breath too long, sweetheart, you’re bound to turn blue. Go with Jaimie. None of us has ever just let Jaimie go anywhere without a few of the boys shadowing her . . .” He shook his head before she could protest. “We go out in pairs or with a shadow. We all have enemies, and none of us has a clue what Whitney might do next. Aside from that, there’s a faction that wants every GhostWalker dead. They have powerful friends. If you have to prove to yourself that you’re not a prisoner, then we’ll handle it.”
“You’d let me just walk out of here by myself?” Her eyes met his. She’d know if he was lying to her.
“No. Taking a chance with your life is beyond my ability to give you what you want. I’d shadow you. Rose, none of us are completely free in this life. We’re dangerous to others and our own government; while they utilize our services, they keep close tabs on us. They fear us. Our only chance is to live as if we’re in enemy territory and we have to watch each other’s backs. It’s that or live on the run.”
She searched his face for reassurance. She wanted this life—wanted him. She wanted to believe the fairy tale. When he called her beautiful, she wanted to believe he meant it. When he said he loved her, he’d stolen her heart and soul. She had always faced her life with courage. She was a soldier, and a soldier endured, but this was different. This involved emotions. Soldiers weren’t supposed to have emotions, and now she couldn’t separate what she felt.
Kane had the power to destroy her. She’d given him that. She hadn’t expected her emotions to be so strong, so overwhelming. Every single day she was drawn more into his world, into his life—into loving him.