“There is the downstairs bathroom, which you already know.” Thinking of how she had run to find a first-aid kit for Amber, not knowing who she was to me or why she was in my home, made my heart swell with more love for this woman. I grabbed the shaky banister and began to climb the steep, wooden staircase. I hated going up these steps. I hated the vivid flashbacks of my mother and father fighting while I tried to sleep. Most nights I would sneak out to Rose’s under the guise of wanting to help her, but I needed that time together as much as she had. She had no idea how much of an impact she had made on my life, and if we got out of all of this, I would have to thank her every day for being there for me.
The upstairs was dark and I flipped on the light inside my childhood bedroom at the top of the stairs. It did not turn on and I frowned; I tried the switch again but with no luck.
“The light must have blown. I’ll take care of that later.” The room was pitch dark, but we could still see the silhouette of my bed and dresser. “This was my room.” I took a deep breath and pulled the door closed behind me.
“There is the bathroom with a shower. I’m sure Amber has everything you would need.” I walked by her and pushed open the last door set off to the left. I flicked on the light and was transported back to a very ugly time in my life. “My parents’ room.” I clenched my jaw trying to hide the anger in my voice. There were very little traces of my father left. He was killed months before my mother took her own life. I couldn’t begin to understand why she would decide to end it after we were finally free. She acted as if it had all been her fault, and if she had just been a better wife she wouldn’t have been beaten or left widowed. She clung to my father’s possessions like they were her lifeline. After her death I cleared out anything I could find that reminded me of him and burned it in the backyard. Still, this place haunted me with memories of my mother’s pain.
“This is nice.” Rose stepped inside the room, her eyes searching it and nodding in approval. I rubbed my hand over my head feeling that familiar sting of regret. “You can stay in here if you like or I can have Amber switch with you.”
“Why does she stay in your room?” she asked as she ran her fingers over the red-and-white gingham bedspread.
“Honestly, I don’t know.” I shrugged as I walked over to her, tucking her beautiful brown hair behind her ear. “I haven’t been inside this room for years, and I think she assumed that meant she couldn’t come in either.”
“You’re in here now.” She placed her hands on my chest and I wished my heart hadn’t been beating so f**king erratically.
“That’s because you’re in here, sweetheart. I’d walk through hell for you.” I placed a kiss on her forehead, letting my lips linger for a moment. There was no way she could fully understand how monumental this was for me. All of this. Her stepping back into my life had set in motion a huge change inside of me. It felt like my heart had remembered how to beat again.
“You don’t have to uproot her. I can stay here.” Her eyes drifted over the bed. It was old and worn but much larger than the single in my room. She would be more comfortable in here anyway.
“Whatever you like. Although, it has always been a fantasy of mine to get you back to my room.” I gave her a small smile. “Come on. Walk me to the door.”
Her expression went blank and I knew she was beginning to worry.
“I will be back, darlin’. And I expect to pin you back against that tree again.” I slipped my hand around her to her lower back and pulled her against me. She buried her face in the crook of my neck and wrapped her arms around me, pulling me tight against her body. I slowed my breathing, trying to keep myself calm. I knew she needed to feel that I wasn’t worried. “Shh…” I stroked her hair with my other hand as I closed my eyes and hoped that this wouldn’t be the last time I got to hold her like this.
“It’s getting dark. Try to get some rest and I will be back to wake you. You have nothing to worry about.”
Chapter Thirteen
Missing
As I drove away from my childhood home, I couldn’t help but glance at the rearview mirror and watch it grow smaller in the distance. I hated having to walk away from Rose, even for a second. I couldn’t know she was safe if she wasn’t by my side. But I had some very bad things to do, and it would be too great of a risk to drag her along.
I pulled out my cell phone and scrolled down to Danny’s number. I cursed under my breath as I hit the call button and listened to it ring.
“Long time no talk,” he said with a hint of amusement in his voice.
“Something has come up. It was important.”
“Oh, I don’t doubt that, Colt.”
“I’ll be there for the shipment. I’m a man of my word.”
“Glad to hear it. We will be waiting for you. Do not disappoint me. Nine o’clock in the morning by the south dock.” The line went dead before I could say anything.
“Shit.” This was just what I f**king needed. On top of everything that was happening, I had to play drug lord. I tossed the phone across the seat and it bounced off the door and onto the passenger side floor. “Fuck,” I yelled to myself as I banged the palms of my hands on the steering wheel.
I needed to find Brock and make sure he was doing his part to find Craig. I began the long trek to the city to visit all of Brock’s favorite strip-club haunts. When I didn’t find him at Pink’s, I grabbed my phone and called him. I got out of the car and paced the parking lot, pinching the bridge of my nose as a headache began to set in.
“Jesus Christ, where have you been?”
“I was out of the city. I get shitty reception. What’s the word?”
“There has been a new development. It’s not f**king good, man.”
“What do you mean new development? Just spit it the f**k out already. Did you find him or not?”
“No, but he found this guy named Shawn Miller, a local lawyer, looks like a few hours ago. Beat him to death.”
“Fuck…” my voice trailed off as I thought about Rose’s cheating fiancé.
“Wait, you know who he is?”
I closed my eyes and looked up at the sky, wishing I had kept my big f**king mouth shut.
“Where is she, Bishop?”
I pounded my fist on the roof of my car.
“WHERE IS SHE, BISHOP?” he asked again, not disguising his anger. I pulled open the driver’s side door and slid back into my car.
“She’s safe,” I finally admitted as I turned the key in the ignition. Brock let out a string of expletives at the realization that I had been lying to him the entire time.
“She’s not safe and neither are you until we find this son of a bitch. Do you have any idea what he did to this guy? To her fiancé?” The word fiancé stung and only added fuel to my anger.
“He didn’t do half of what I am going to do to him once I get my hands on him.” I hung up, this time tossing my phone on the dashboard, harder than intended. I had only a few hours left until I needed to do this job for Danny or we would have a whole lot more trouble on our hands. If I could pull this off, he would be none the wiser about her being alive.
I had no idea where to begin my search, but this was going to prove to be very bad. I turned off on the side ally to my apartment. I needed to get some things and get the hell out of there. I couldn’t leave any traces of Rose behind. I pulled up next to the fire escape, not bothering to park in the garage. I would only be in and out and, in the darkness, I would be safe for a few minutes.
I made sure my gun was safely in the back of my jeans as I got out of the car and scanned the road for anyone who had tailed me. I climbed the old metal fire escape until I reached my living room window. It was cracked a good three inches and I was certain I had not left it like that. I pulled out my weapon and held it in front of me as I quietly slid open the window and slipped inside. The place was destroyed. Books had been thrown from one end of the apartment to the other. My old leather couch was flipped onto its back. This was more than a standard robbery. This was someone who was very, very pissed off.
I tiptoed from room to room as I made sure no one had stayed behind to hurt me. Once I was certain it was clear I slipped my gun back in my pants and knocked the little bottle of mouth wash and tooth paste off my bathroom sink. I ran my hand roughly over my chin. I walked out of my bathroom in a daze and turned the corner to my room. I sank down on the bed and looked up to my dresser and my heart sank. I pushed away from the old mattress and grabbed the picture of Amber from her police file that sat alone on top of it.
“Fuck!” I hurried as fast as I could out of the room and down the fire escape to my car. I needed to call Amber and make sure that they were both okay. I was practically dizzy with worry and anger as I grabbed the phone from my dash and called Amber’s cell phone. It went straight to voice mail and I realized that her reception was just as bad as mine when she was out at the old house.
The sun had long set, and I raced as fast as I could across town, praying I wouldn’t get pulled over and be forced to beat the shit out of a cop so I could get back home. I was seeing red, I couldn’t even begin to process what was happening. Was it Craig? Was it Danny? Had he figured out what I had been doing? He hadn’t given any indication that he knew something when I had talked to him earlier.
I contemplated calling back Brock and having him meet me at my house, but I knew better. The odds of anyone finding the women were slim, and Brock was still tied up with the lawyer. I needed to do this alone. I needed to be certain these f**king ass**les wouldn’t be coming back and hurting Rose again.
The drive seemed to last for hours as I sped down the darkened back roads outside of the city. It was like traveling from one planet to the next. Life, time — all of it seemed to pull to a stop when you left the busy life of New York behind. The outskirts, like those of any city, were dotted with small, poor towns filled with people struggling to survive a simple existence.
Most were oblivious to what went on behind others’ closed doors — not like a city where everyone lives on top of each other but doesn’t give a shit if they hear someone getting killed as long as it didn’t affect them.
I promised Rose this would all be okay. I promised her and I couldn’t live with myself if it was a lie. The old dusty drive to my house sent my heart into overdrive. The lights in the house were off, and I left the car several feet from its parking spot, then jumped out and ran for the front door. My feet felt like they were encased in cement as I struggled to get to the front door as quickly as possible. It was my nightmare. It was everything I had feared since the moment I’d laid eyes on Rose. All of my police training went out the window as I pulled my gun from my pants and walked cautiously up to the front door. I needed to be cautious, but the fear overwhelmed and consumed me. If she had come back into my life only to be ripped away, I would finally snap. The world hadn’t seen the worst of Colton Bishop. I shook the anger from my thoughts as I thought through the process of clearing a building. I needed to eliminate any threat, but I didn’t want to kill whoever may have hurt her. I wanted to injure, cause pain, make him suffer.
I slowly pulled open the screen door, cursing myself silently as it squeaked. I should have maintained this hellhole so I wouldn’t have to worry that I had just alerted a perpetrator. I took a long deep breath and slowly, painfully slowly, turned the knob to the front door, pushing it free from its frame. I held my gun out from me, one arm locked in position and the other cupped below to steady my aim. I looked from side to side. Nothing. I took a cautious step inside, my back to the wall as I aimed into the kitchen, walking quietly into the room. Nothing. I backtracked toward the living room, glancing up the staircase that now seemed a mile high. I could see Amber’s door, and it was closed. Rose’s was off to the side, and I couldn’t see it from my position. I took a quick check of the family room, wasting little precious time.
I took the stairs two at a time, unable to keep myself from checking on them any longer. I gripped the doorknob to my childhood bedroom and let out a deep breath as I turned it slowly and pushed it open. I couldn’t see anything and I kept my gun out in front of me.
“What are you doing?” Amber called from the bathroom, scaring the shit out of me. I spun around to see, my weapon aimed at her chest.
“Jesus f**king Christ. You scared the hell of me.” I sighed as I slipped the gun into the back of my jeans. Just then my parents’ bedroom door opened and Rose stepped out.
“I could say the same thing.” Amber folded her arms over her chest. She was wearing one of my oversize T-shirts and looked exhausted.
“Sorry. Go to bed. Everything is fine.”
Amber stalked passed me and into her room, closing the door behind her. After a few seconds I heard the familiar sound of her music fill the house. She hated sleeping in silence and would be out before her head hit the pillow. My eyes danced over Rose in her tiny T-shirt and panties. She had obviously removed her bra before falling asleep. Her hair was wild and messy.
“How did it go?” she asked as I walked toward her. “I was really worried.”
“You have nothing to worry about, sweetheart. I won’t let anything happen to you.”
“I was worried about you.”
I pulled my T-shirt over my head, grabbing my gun and wrapping it inside before placing it on the ground next to the doorway. I was in overdrive. Her being more worried about me than herself let me know that she was not going to run from me again. I knew this was our forever, even if that only meant a few more days. “Take off your shirt.” She complied with a mischievous twinkle in her eye.
The upstairs was dark and I flipped on the light inside my childhood bedroom at the top of the stairs. It did not turn on and I frowned; I tried the switch again but with no luck.
“The light must have blown. I’ll take care of that later.” The room was pitch dark, but we could still see the silhouette of my bed and dresser. “This was my room.” I took a deep breath and pulled the door closed behind me.
“There is the bathroom with a shower. I’m sure Amber has everything you would need.” I walked by her and pushed open the last door set off to the left. I flicked on the light and was transported back to a very ugly time in my life. “My parents’ room.” I clenched my jaw trying to hide the anger in my voice. There were very little traces of my father left. He was killed months before my mother took her own life. I couldn’t begin to understand why she would decide to end it after we were finally free. She acted as if it had all been her fault, and if she had just been a better wife she wouldn’t have been beaten or left widowed. She clung to my father’s possessions like they were her lifeline. After her death I cleared out anything I could find that reminded me of him and burned it in the backyard. Still, this place haunted me with memories of my mother’s pain.
“This is nice.” Rose stepped inside the room, her eyes searching it and nodding in approval. I rubbed my hand over my head feeling that familiar sting of regret. “You can stay in here if you like or I can have Amber switch with you.”
“Why does she stay in your room?” she asked as she ran her fingers over the red-and-white gingham bedspread.
“Honestly, I don’t know.” I shrugged as I walked over to her, tucking her beautiful brown hair behind her ear. “I haven’t been inside this room for years, and I think she assumed that meant she couldn’t come in either.”
“You’re in here now.” She placed her hands on my chest and I wished my heart hadn’t been beating so f**king erratically.
“That’s because you’re in here, sweetheart. I’d walk through hell for you.” I placed a kiss on her forehead, letting my lips linger for a moment. There was no way she could fully understand how monumental this was for me. All of this. Her stepping back into my life had set in motion a huge change inside of me. It felt like my heart had remembered how to beat again.
“You don’t have to uproot her. I can stay here.” Her eyes drifted over the bed. It was old and worn but much larger than the single in my room. She would be more comfortable in here anyway.
“Whatever you like. Although, it has always been a fantasy of mine to get you back to my room.” I gave her a small smile. “Come on. Walk me to the door.”
Her expression went blank and I knew she was beginning to worry.
“I will be back, darlin’. And I expect to pin you back against that tree again.” I slipped my hand around her to her lower back and pulled her against me. She buried her face in the crook of my neck and wrapped her arms around me, pulling me tight against her body. I slowed my breathing, trying to keep myself calm. I knew she needed to feel that I wasn’t worried. “Shh…” I stroked her hair with my other hand as I closed my eyes and hoped that this wouldn’t be the last time I got to hold her like this.
“It’s getting dark. Try to get some rest and I will be back to wake you. You have nothing to worry about.”
Chapter Thirteen
Missing
As I drove away from my childhood home, I couldn’t help but glance at the rearview mirror and watch it grow smaller in the distance. I hated having to walk away from Rose, even for a second. I couldn’t know she was safe if she wasn’t by my side. But I had some very bad things to do, and it would be too great of a risk to drag her along.
I pulled out my cell phone and scrolled down to Danny’s number. I cursed under my breath as I hit the call button and listened to it ring.
“Long time no talk,” he said with a hint of amusement in his voice.
“Something has come up. It was important.”
“Oh, I don’t doubt that, Colt.”
“I’ll be there for the shipment. I’m a man of my word.”
“Glad to hear it. We will be waiting for you. Do not disappoint me. Nine o’clock in the morning by the south dock.” The line went dead before I could say anything.
“Shit.” This was just what I f**king needed. On top of everything that was happening, I had to play drug lord. I tossed the phone across the seat and it bounced off the door and onto the passenger side floor. “Fuck,” I yelled to myself as I banged the palms of my hands on the steering wheel.
I needed to find Brock and make sure he was doing his part to find Craig. I began the long trek to the city to visit all of Brock’s favorite strip-club haunts. When I didn’t find him at Pink’s, I grabbed my phone and called him. I got out of the car and paced the parking lot, pinching the bridge of my nose as a headache began to set in.
“Jesus Christ, where have you been?”
“I was out of the city. I get shitty reception. What’s the word?”
“There has been a new development. It’s not f**king good, man.”
“What do you mean new development? Just spit it the f**k out already. Did you find him or not?”
“No, but he found this guy named Shawn Miller, a local lawyer, looks like a few hours ago. Beat him to death.”
“Fuck…” my voice trailed off as I thought about Rose’s cheating fiancé.
“Wait, you know who he is?”
I closed my eyes and looked up at the sky, wishing I had kept my big f**king mouth shut.
“Where is she, Bishop?”
I pounded my fist on the roof of my car.
“WHERE IS SHE, BISHOP?” he asked again, not disguising his anger. I pulled open the driver’s side door and slid back into my car.
“She’s safe,” I finally admitted as I turned the key in the ignition. Brock let out a string of expletives at the realization that I had been lying to him the entire time.
“She’s not safe and neither are you until we find this son of a bitch. Do you have any idea what he did to this guy? To her fiancé?” The word fiancé stung and only added fuel to my anger.
“He didn’t do half of what I am going to do to him once I get my hands on him.” I hung up, this time tossing my phone on the dashboard, harder than intended. I had only a few hours left until I needed to do this job for Danny or we would have a whole lot more trouble on our hands. If I could pull this off, he would be none the wiser about her being alive.
I had no idea where to begin my search, but this was going to prove to be very bad. I turned off on the side ally to my apartment. I needed to get some things and get the hell out of there. I couldn’t leave any traces of Rose behind. I pulled up next to the fire escape, not bothering to park in the garage. I would only be in and out and, in the darkness, I would be safe for a few minutes.
I made sure my gun was safely in the back of my jeans as I got out of the car and scanned the road for anyone who had tailed me. I climbed the old metal fire escape until I reached my living room window. It was cracked a good three inches and I was certain I had not left it like that. I pulled out my weapon and held it in front of me as I quietly slid open the window and slipped inside. The place was destroyed. Books had been thrown from one end of the apartment to the other. My old leather couch was flipped onto its back. This was more than a standard robbery. This was someone who was very, very pissed off.
I tiptoed from room to room as I made sure no one had stayed behind to hurt me. Once I was certain it was clear I slipped my gun back in my pants and knocked the little bottle of mouth wash and tooth paste off my bathroom sink. I ran my hand roughly over my chin. I walked out of my bathroom in a daze and turned the corner to my room. I sank down on the bed and looked up to my dresser and my heart sank. I pushed away from the old mattress and grabbed the picture of Amber from her police file that sat alone on top of it.
“Fuck!” I hurried as fast as I could out of the room and down the fire escape to my car. I needed to call Amber and make sure that they were both okay. I was practically dizzy with worry and anger as I grabbed the phone from my dash and called Amber’s cell phone. It went straight to voice mail and I realized that her reception was just as bad as mine when she was out at the old house.
The sun had long set, and I raced as fast as I could across town, praying I wouldn’t get pulled over and be forced to beat the shit out of a cop so I could get back home. I was seeing red, I couldn’t even begin to process what was happening. Was it Craig? Was it Danny? Had he figured out what I had been doing? He hadn’t given any indication that he knew something when I had talked to him earlier.
I contemplated calling back Brock and having him meet me at my house, but I knew better. The odds of anyone finding the women were slim, and Brock was still tied up with the lawyer. I needed to do this alone. I needed to be certain these f**king ass**les wouldn’t be coming back and hurting Rose again.
The drive seemed to last for hours as I sped down the darkened back roads outside of the city. It was like traveling from one planet to the next. Life, time — all of it seemed to pull to a stop when you left the busy life of New York behind. The outskirts, like those of any city, were dotted with small, poor towns filled with people struggling to survive a simple existence.
Most were oblivious to what went on behind others’ closed doors — not like a city where everyone lives on top of each other but doesn’t give a shit if they hear someone getting killed as long as it didn’t affect them.
I promised Rose this would all be okay. I promised her and I couldn’t live with myself if it was a lie. The old dusty drive to my house sent my heart into overdrive. The lights in the house were off, and I left the car several feet from its parking spot, then jumped out and ran for the front door. My feet felt like they were encased in cement as I struggled to get to the front door as quickly as possible. It was my nightmare. It was everything I had feared since the moment I’d laid eyes on Rose. All of my police training went out the window as I pulled my gun from my pants and walked cautiously up to the front door. I needed to be cautious, but the fear overwhelmed and consumed me. If she had come back into my life only to be ripped away, I would finally snap. The world hadn’t seen the worst of Colton Bishop. I shook the anger from my thoughts as I thought through the process of clearing a building. I needed to eliminate any threat, but I didn’t want to kill whoever may have hurt her. I wanted to injure, cause pain, make him suffer.
I slowly pulled open the screen door, cursing myself silently as it squeaked. I should have maintained this hellhole so I wouldn’t have to worry that I had just alerted a perpetrator. I took a long deep breath and slowly, painfully slowly, turned the knob to the front door, pushing it free from its frame. I held my gun out from me, one arm locked in position and the other cupped below to steady my aim. I looked from side to side. Nothing. I took a cautious step inside, my back to the wall as I aimed into the kitchen, walking quietly into the room. Nothing. I backtracked toward the living room, glancing up the staircase that now seemed a mile high. I could see Amber’s door, and it was closed. Rose’s was off to the side, and I couldn’t see it from my position. I took a quick check of the family room, wasting little precious time.
I took the stairs two at a time, unable to keep myself from checking on them any longer. I gripped the doorknob to my childhood bedroom and let out a deep breath as I turned it slowly and pushed it open. I couldn’t see anything and I kept my gun out in front of me.
“What are you doing?” Amber called from the bathroom, scaring the shit out of me. I spun around to see, my weapon aimed at her chest.
“Jesus f**king Christ. You scared the hell of me.” I sighed as I slipped the gun into the back of my jeans. Just then my parents’ bedroom door opened and Rose stepped out.
“I could say the same thing.” Amber folded her arms over her chest. She was wearing one of my oversize T-shirts and looked exhausted.
“Sorry. Go to bed. Everything is fine.”
Amber stalked passed me and into her room, closing the door behind her. After a few seconds I heard the familiar sound of her music fill the house. She hated sleeping in silence and would be out before her head hit the pillow. My eyes danced over Rose in her tiny T-shirt and panties. She had obviously removed her bra before falling asleep. Her hair was wild and messy.
“How did it go?” she asked as I walked toward her. “I was really worried.”
“You have nothing to worry about, sweetheart. I won’t let anything happen to you.”
“I was worried about you.”
I pulled my T-shirt over my head, grabbing my gun and wrapping it inside before placing it on the ground next to the doorway. I was in overdrive. Her being more worried about me than herself let me know that she was not going to run from me again. I knew this was our forever, even if that only meant a few more days. “Take off your shirt.” She complied with a mischievous twinkle in her eye.
