Saranghae
Chapter Twenty-one

"The doctor will see you now," a nurse told Shaundra a couple of days later, after she'd gotten home from the hospital. Shaundra hadn't told Ichiro about the visit because she didn't want to worry him so close to the tour. She still could not bear to touch him since he'd all but called her a whore, even though he'd apologized a million times.
Apologizing did not take away the fact that he'd said it and hurt her feelings. She supposed he was embarrassed having a wife who was an erotic author, who dabbled in novels and manga about homosexual men. From what she'd noticed for a while, he didn't seem to be sexually attracted to her, always leaving the bed after sex and not wanting to cuddle afterwards. She sighed as she rose from the chair. She knew it was too good to last.
Shaundra had a lot of time on her hands lately to think things out. Maybe Harper and everyone was right...she was too old for Ichiro. He was young and vibrant and needed that type of wife to help him with his career. Maybe on some level he knew that too, and that was the reason he hadn't registered their marriage as soon as they arrived in Japan and made her a part of his family.
The nurse made her climb onto a scale. "A hundred and fifty pounds."
"There must be some kind of mistake," Shaundra said.
"I've been a hundred and thirty-five pounds forever."
The nurse messed with the scale again. "Well, you're a hundred and fifty pounds now. Maybe you've gained a few pounds with all that good food your husband prepares at his restaurant."
Shaundra sneered at the nurse. Did everyone in Japan know who she was and about her life?
"Follow me." The nurse led Shaundra into an examination room. "I need to get your vitals...your blood pressure and temperature."
Shaundra sat down in a chair, and the nurse put a thermometer under her tongue and then wrapped a pressure cup around her right arm. The machine came on, squeezing her bicep for a couple of minutes before releasing it.
"One hundred and twenty over eighty. Perfect."
It should be, Shaundra mused. She had been living off of gelatin and plain porridge for a couple of weeks now. She hadn't been able to keep down much food lately.
The nurse removed the thermometer and read it. "Ninety- nine degrees. Not bad."
But it wasn't ninety-eight point six.
"When was the last time you had a Pap smear?" the nurse asked her.
"Last year," Shaundra replied. "And a mammogram. I think it was in January."
"You're past your year. The doctor may want to perform one." She handed Shaundra a hospital gown. "I need you to take everything off and put this on, opened to the front."
Yeah, yeah, yeah, she knew the routine. It was the same thing in her country too. The nurse left to give her privacy to change. Shaundra didn't know why she needed a Pap smear if she was just there for the results of her tests. She removed her clothes, folded them neatly, put them on the chair by her purse and then climbed up on the table and sat down.
Shaundra looked around, reading all of the posters on arthritis, hypertension and diabetes. When she got bored with that she looked over at a cabinet by the sink. Atop it was a tube of KY Jelly and a pair of plastic forceps. Shaundra grimaced. She hated those things, and she could not get comfortable during a pelvic examination.
The door opened a few minutes later, and Doctor Ito from the emergency room entered and bowed.
"You look much better, Mrs. Yoshida," he said as he sat down and began looking over the chart the nurse had left for him. Doctor Ito was about sixty, with gray hair, and fortunately for her, he spoke English.
"It's hard to believe that they brought you in unconscious almost three weeks ago. Your pressure and temperature are now normal, and the cut has healed on your head. How have you been feeling?"
"I'm still a little tired, and I don't have much of an appetite."
"That's to be expected," he said. "It will improve with time." He jotted something on the chart. "I'm going to need to give you a female examination."
Shaundra nodded. "Yes, the nurse told me."
The nurse re-entered the room and came in and stood next to her.
"Just lie back on the table, put your feet in the stirrups and try to move down as far as you can." The doctor rose, walked over to the sink, washed and dried his hands and then put on a pair of latex gloves. "I'm going to check your breasts and abdomen first," he told her.
After checking for lumps, he moved down to her stomach and pressed down on it, and then he sat down on a little seat and inserted the speculum.
Shaundra closed her eyes; her stomach clenched and her knees shook.
Doctor Ito removed the offensive tool and gave it and the sample scraping to the nurse to prepare for the lab. Next he inserted a couple of fingers and felt around inside of her, further humiliating her. He removed his gloved fingers. "I'll leave you a few minutes to get dressed, and I want you to come over to the room next door when you finish. I have the results from the tests we took in the hospital."
The doctor and nurse both left. Shaundra got down off of the table and dressed. A few minutes later, she joined the doctor in his office and he told her about the results.
Tears welled in Shaundra's eyes. "No," she said, not accepting what he told her.
"It's true," the doctor said. "These tests are ninety-nine point ninety-nine percent accurate.
"How much time do I have left?"
"About six months."
The tears spilled. "I won't accept it. I just got married, and I'm leaving for China in a couple of days. I have books to write." Shit, she was still in deep Kimchi.
"I understand," the doctor said.
"My husband and I just started our life together. We haven't had time to be alone, to go for walks holding hands, and I haven't met his family yet. There were so many things I planned to do in the future."
The doctor pulled some pamphlets out of a drawer and handed them to her. "Let your husband and family read these after you tell them. It will make the transition easier."
"He's only twenty-five. This is going to freak him out. He won't be able to deal."
The doctor patted her hand. "I know this will be difficult, but there are specialists who can help. Your husband will find a way to deal. He won't leave you."
The tears poured from her eyes. She didn't know how she made it back to the farmhouse. The taxi driver probably thought she was crazy.
Shaundra got into the shower and then changed into her nightgown. Lucky for her she didn't have the sitter to deal with now. She couldn't bear to see anyone just yet. All she wanted to do was sleep. The tears continued to fall. Poor Ich, she thought, just before dozing off to sleep.
"Wow, look at you," Satoshi said to Shaundra when she entered the kitchen dressed in a navy blue pinstriped suit, stockings and navy blue pumps. She'd done her hair up professionally in a French twist, and she'd accessorized with jewelry. "Where are you off to this morning?"
"Work," Shaundra said, putting her briefcase on the floor next to a chair. "I have an appointment with Harper and we need to finalize plans for his China promotion." She fixed herself some tea and joined him at the table.
"I hope he's not asking you to promote with a C-pop group."
Shaundra made a face. "I hope not either. I don't think he'd be foolish enough to try that again. I think Mr. Niigata has talked him into trying to open another office in Beijing."
"Ah, the first stop on our tour. It's so like our bosses to mix business with business." He sighed. "It must be nice being billionaires," Satoshi said, getting up and refilling his tea cup.
"I bet it is. They can jettison off to some private island to escape their problems. Hell, they can buy the island."
"How are you feeling?" Satoshi asked, sitting down again.
"Better, "Shaundra replied. "I'm getting my strength back, and I can stay up for longer periods of time."
"Have you gotten the results back from your tests?"
Shaundra nodded. "Stress," she replied. "I guess the flying, the hypnosis and the writing caught up with me."
He sipped his tea. "You need to learn to take it easy."
"No more clubbing or fist-fighting." She picked up her cup and sipped her tea. "Where is everyone?"
"Oh, you don't know, do you? Yori and Amaya have found a house and are signing papers as we speak."
No reaction.
"Takumijo went out to get his hair styled for the trip, Masaaki and Cristal are at the office putting the final touches on our travel plans, and Ichiro is out of town."
"Oh," Shaundra said. "That means it's just me and you."
Satoshi raised both his eyebrows up and down quickly.
"You can take advantage of me all you want."
Shaundra chuckled weakly.
He noticed the spooked look in her eyes, which meant she was worried about something. "Are you okay?"
Shaundra nodded. "Yes."
"Would you like me to fix you something to eat?"
"No thank you," she said. "I don't have much of an appetite."
"Are you taking a new medicine or something?"
"No, just the same stuff I've been taking for years. Why?"
she asked.
"Just asking."
"I'm fine," she told him. "Just a little acid reflux. I have to stay away from greasy and highly seasoned foods."
"Why do I have the feeling that you're not telling me the whole truth?"
Shaundra lowered her teacup. "Because you're curious and suspicious by nature."
Satoshi chuckled. "You're not your usual bubbly self and don't think I haven't noticed that you and Ichiro have been avoiding each other like the plague."
"Don't be silly."
"You didn't even know he had gone out of town again, and he hasn't slept at home in a week."
"All couples go through things," she explained. "We'll work it out."
"He's neglecting you," Satoshi said. "That's unforgivable."
"He's not neglecting me," she said in her husband's defense. "I can take care of myself, regardless of what everyone thinks. I have hypertension and I have had it for years. And I'll be fifty-one in a couple of months. It's just nature catching up with me. Ich, on the other hand, is twenty-five and suddenly saddled with a sick wife. He has to deal with it in his own way."
"He married you knowing you had this illness." He paused.
"You don't think he has a girlfriend, do you?"
This made Shaundra laugh. She seemed back to her old self for a moment. "No, I don't think so. But if he does I hope he's man enough to tell me about it. I don't mind stepping aside for another woman, but I can't abide being cheated on."
"That's very noble of you. Not many women would be so understanding."
Shaundra shrugged. "I don't want a man who doesn't want me. I'm not a fool. He is in love with me now, but one day some pretty young thing is going to catch his eye. All he has to do is be honest with me. I won't break or have a hissy fit.
I'll just step aside."
A car horn sounded outside. Shaundra rose. "That's my taxi. I have to go."
Satoshi rose. "Let me see you to the door."
"That's not necessary. I know the way."
"Humor me," Satoshi said.
Shaundra smiled at him again. It was the same smile she'd rewarded him with at the hospital. "You're going to make some person a fine mate one day," she said as they left the kitchen and walked to the front door.
Satoshi smirked. "No, I don't see that happening." He helped her into the taxi and watched as it drove away from the curb and past the guard shack. He walked back into the farmhouse and closed the door. The house sounded empty.
He hadn't been alone in a long time. He walked back to the kitchen and cleared away their teacups. His plans were to arrange some music for a song he'd written and then spend the rest of the day watching a movie he'd been trying to watch for about a month now. Shaundra was wrong. He'd never make some person a good mate, and she wasn't okay.
Harper kissed her on the cheek and offered Shaundra a chair. "You look a hell of a lot better than the last time I saw you, and you've put on a couple of pounds."
Shaundra rolled her eyes at the blond stud across from her. "You silver-tongued devil. Women do not like to discuss their weight."
"But it looks good on you. It's just more of you to love."
His frankness was the reason they'd remained friends all these years.
"How are you feeling?"
"Fine. I just don't have much of an appetite."
"Did the doctor give you something for it?"
Shaundra shook her head. "No more medicine. I just need to watch what I eat."
"Then it's a good thing you're married to a chef."
"Yes, I suppose so," Shaundra said.
Harper raised a blond eyebrow. "What's wrong? Trouble in paradise?"
"No really," Shaundra replied. "We've both been very busy." She pulled a manuscript out of her briefcase and handed it to him.
"You've finished it?"
Shaundra nodded. "Yesterday. I wanted to hand deliver it to you in person so you can read it."
"All your books are great," he told her.
"So what are your plans for me in China?"
"Just some book signings and personal appearances, and..."
"Please don't say a promotion with a C-pop band."
"Hell no," Harper said quickly. "I wish I could turn back time. I shouldn't have forced you to come to Japan."
"Don't blame yourself. Fate brought me here. Aomori and I were destined to meet. It could have very well happened in New York just as well as here."
"True," Harper said. "You're not regretting getting married, are you?"
Shaundra nodded again. "I should have listened to you. I love Ichiro but..."
"But what?"
"I don't see us growing old together."
"Well, to be frank, he'll just be in his prime when you turn seventy."
"I didn't think I would change that much at seventy. I figured I'd still be me, just a little grayer and a little shorter."
"And now?"
"Now I don't think about the future. I'm just living life one day at a time."
Harper shuddered. "That's morbid, even for you. You sound like you don't plan to be alive to see seventy."
Shaundra looked away.
"Shit. What's wrong?"
"Nothing," she said quickly.
Harper jumped out of his seat and ran over to her. He pulled her out of the chair. "What aren't you telling me? I'm your oldest and dearest friend. You can tell me anything."
Shaundra started to cry.
"Holy shit. I've never known you to do that before. Don't go acting all girly on me." He hugged her tightly as she sobbed. A few minutes later she stopped and sat down again.
Harper returned to his seat. "What happened at the doctor's office?"
Shaundra opened her briefcase and pulled out the doctor's report. She didn't have the courage to tell him. She pushed the results toward him. "Before you read it, promise me that you won't say a word about this to anyone, especially Ichiro."
"He hasn't seen this?"
"No," Shaundra said. "I haven't seen him since I got this, and I haven't figured out the right way to tell him."
Harper pulled out his reading glasses and put them on. He began to read the results. He pulled off his glasses and put them on the desk and handed her back the papers. "How do you want to handle this?"
"As quickly as possible?"
Ichiro parked his car in the garage and walked back toward the front of the house. It was late and everyone was probably in bed, since they were flying out to China at ten in the morning. The last of his business meetings were over, Daichi had everything under control at the restaurant, and all he wanted to do was take a bath and go to bed.
Ichiro entered the house, removed his shoes and put on his slippers. He walked into the den. He needed a drink, and something stronger than tea. Heading over to the bar, he reached for a bottle of sake he'd been saving for a special occasion, then poured himself a cup of the rice liquid and swallowed the entire contents down. He carried the bottle over to the couch and sat down trying to find the courage to go up and face his wife that he hadn't seen in a week. She was probably pissed beyond belief at him for not calling or telling her that he was going out of town for a couple of days.
He'd left her in good hands. Satoshi wouldn't let anything happen to her.
He hoped this trip to China would be good for them. Maybe he and Shaundra could rekindle what they'd lost. He'd been doing all of this for her...to provide a stable future for them.
Being young did not make him naive. He knew he couldn't perform on stage forever, and he had to have something to fall back on when the time happened. With the restaurants up and running and doing well, he could take care of his wife properly. Shaundra was levelheaded. She'd understand. As things stood now, he didn't even know if she still loved him.
Maybe she regretted choosing him and not Yori. He poured himself another drink. Well, Yori wouldn't be a problem anymore since he and Amaya would be moving out as soon as they returned from China. Now all he had to do was work on getting Satoshi and Takumijo out of the house. No, he thought. This was their home as much as it was his. Maybe he'd build Shaundra a home away from all of this.
The more he thought about it, the more he liked the idea.
Maybe being around a J-pop band wasn't what she needed.
She was a writer, which meant she needed tranquility. Yes, he'd build her a grand house in Kyoto with a big office and a library with lots of cherry trees outside her office window so she could watch them bloom next spring. And he'd build a nursery just in case she changed her mind about adopting a baby. And then he'd take her to Paris or to a romantic island in the Pacific for their first anniversary. Yes, that would be nice, just the two of them.
His body stirred at the vision. Hmmm, that hadn't happened for a long time. He sipped the sake. He wondered if Shaundra would mind if he woke her to help with his sudden arousal. He got up and walked back over to the bar and put the sake away. Leaving the den, he headed down the hall to the stairwell.
Romantic music echoed from Yori's suite. Ichiro smirked.
Maybe he was getting the stick out of Amaya's butt. He continued to his room. Lights were out in all the other bedrooms.
Ichiro entered his bedroom and turned on the light. He panicked. Shaundra wasn't there. Where is she? he wondered as he checked her office and the bathroom. He walked back into their bedroom and found a white envelope on the bed, his name written on it in Shaundra's handwriting. He sat down on the bed and opened it. He pulled out the piece of stationary, read it, groaned and fell back on the bed.
Shaundra had left him.
"What do you mean she's gone?" Masaaki asked Ichiro the next morning as they prepared to leave for the airport.
"She's gone," Ichiro replied. "She said she didn't want to be a bother to me anymore."
"But where did she go? She doesn't know anyone in Japan."
"Probably back to the United States," Ichiro said. "That's where her family is."
"Have you called to check?"
Ichiro shook her head. "It's nighttime there. I thought I'd wait. I've tried calling Shaundra's cell, but the number has been disconnected."
Satoshi walked into the office. "Aren't you guys ready yet?
Kenshin is waiting outside in the van."
"We have a problem," Masaaki said. "Shaundra is gone."
"What do you mean gone?"
"She left Ichiro."
Satoshi frowned. "I knew something like this would happen. When did she go?"
"I don't know," Ichiro replied. "She wasn't here when I came home last night. When was the last time you saw her?"
"Yesterday morning," Satoshi said. "She told me she had a meeting with Harper."
Kenshin blew the horn.
"You can call him on the way to the airport," Masaaki replied. "If we don't leave now we'll miss our flight."
Ichiro nodded. He'd call Harper when he got into the van.
He followed Satoshi and Masaaki out to the van and climbed in.
Harper's phone just kept ringing.
Ichiro put away his cell phone and settled back in his seat.
This wasn't a very good time to panic.
"Did you reach Harper?" Satoshi asked as he climbed into the van and sat down next to him.
"No, his cell phone and office phones are just ringing."
"Maybe we'll run into him at the airport. He's on his way to China too."
"Yes."
"I'm sorry," Satoshi said. "I assumed she came home yesterday, figuring she went off to her room while I was in the music room."
"It is not your fault. I should not have put such a responsibility on you. I will find my wife."
Kenshin drove the van away from the curb, and the security guards followed in another van. The only place she could go was to her family. He sighed. He hoped the hypnosis was still working and she wasn't panicking aboard a plane flying overseas alone. What was she thinking? She was not a burden to him. She was his wife.