I could barely breathe. Jack pulled his hand away, sliding it between my breasts, circling the nipple with my wetness. Bending down he blew gently, making me shiver, before putting his warm mouth on my body. Trailing his tongue along the soft flesh, he licked and sucked, making me long for him even more.
Over and over I moaned softly, “Make me yours, Jack. Please. Take me.” My nails dragged across his skin when I couldn’t take it anymore. I would have done anything he wanted in that moment just to feel him inside of me. That was when Jack moved on top of me. He was so hard, his length pressing against me, sliding himself between my legs and pushing gently within me.
His hands in my hair, his lips at me ear, “Are you all right?”
I nodded, looking into his eyes. The pupils were wide and dark, consuming all the blue. His breath was sweet, drifting over my body as he looked down at me. The sheen on his skin, the sweat that glistened, made me want to slide my tongue over his entire body and feel him inside of me. My body shivered, doing things I didn’t know it could do, wanting things I thought I’d never want. And with Jack, I wanted every bit of it.
Jack moved slowly, like I was made of glass, but that wasn’t what I wanted. It felt like divine torture, as he slid in slowly, gently—barely pushing—careful not to hurt me. My mind was reeling, my skin slick and on fire. Every inch of my body wanted him. It was so carnal and raw that I screamed out, slicing his back with my nails as I pulled his chest tighter to mine.
Breathless, I said, “Take me, Jack.” My voice was firm, needing him—wanting him to move in me the way my body craved. I wanted to feel the force of his thrusts inside of me. I wanted him to push into me so hard that there was only Jack, and the two of us were one. His hands held my hips, his gentle thrusts inside of me stopping as I spoke. His eyes were like blue flames, flickering with heat I didn’t know he possessed. Desire glowed within their depths and only one thing would sate him, me. My words shattered him, stripping away any semblance of control he once had.
Jack, the man who was always in control, suddenly wasn’t. He moved faster, pushing into me harder and harder. Our bodies moved as one, sliding and thrusting, taking us higher and higher. My mind was blank, light, and free. There was only scent and skin, slick with need. The way he moved inside of me, the position of his hands on my skin, his breath in my ear as he pushed into me—it was ecstasy filling me in the form of Jack Gray.
“Come for me Abby,” he breathed in my ear. His smooth body moving against mine, his sweat filled my head, making me needy, making me spread my legs wider so he could push deeper. My body reacted to his movements, clutching against him as I came. Jack pushed into me twice more, slow and hard. He tensed, as I pulsated around him, drawing him into me. When his body relaxed, he fell onto me, kissing my face.
Covered in sweat, paint, and each other, I laid next to him feeling completely wonderful. His fingers threaded through mine, his lips pressing against the side of my face, in my hair and my lips. “Abby, oh my God.” Worry creased a line between his brows. He pushed himself up and looked down at me concerned, “Did I hurt you? I shouldn’t have done that to you. It was too much too fast.” He was shaking his head, but I put my hand on his cheek and he stilled, his face still full of worry.
“I’m fine,” I smiled. Every bit of my body felt like it was glowing softly, humming. “Jack, that was perfect. More than I thought it’d be.”
He grinned, sliding down on his side so he could look at me. “More than you thought? How long have you been thinking these kinds of things, Abby?”
I didn’t think it was possible, but I felt the blush rise to my face. Turning away, grinning, I started to roll over, but Jack pulled me back, locking me on the floor beneath him, pinning me with his arm. “From the look on your face, I would think quite a bit longer than would be considered, um, what’s the word I’m looking for...?” his voice trailed off as his smile deepened, leaning his head to mine, he said, “oh, yeah—prudent.” He pressed a kiss to my forehead and pulled away a little, enough to see my full lips smiling sheepishly.
Smiling, completely sated, I said, “It’s not like I meant to. Sometimes thoughts would enter my mind. I chased them away with a Biblical broom, but they kept coming back when I wasn’t able to stop them.”
His dark brow arched, a crooked grin on his face in disbelief, “You dreamed about me?”
Squirming, I replied, “Sometimes, yes. The memory of you—of us—would light up in my mind making me rather hot and bothered for a preacher.” I smiled at him, loving every moment of this. When his face turned serious my stomach clenched. I wanted him happy, elated and carefree.
“Abby,” he twirled one of my long reddish curls that was laying over my shoulder and on my breast, gliding his fingers along the sensitive skin. Something was bothering him, but my nakedness was distracting, pulling him away from the thoughts that made him serious, but he couldn’t shake it. He didn’t drop the thought and soon I understood why. “I tried to keep this from happening, because I didn’t want to make you miserable. This doesn’t jive with what you believe at all, does it? I mean, doing erotic things and having sex on the floor... it’s not a marriage bed.”
I understood what he meant, “Jack, don’t worry. This wasn’t wrong in my head.” He looked at me, shocked, his perfect lips hanging open. I pressed a finger to his mouth, closing it, smiling softly at him. “I’m not the evangelical nut you seem to think I am. It’s not like that. There are a lot of things that don’t jive, and I just try to make the best of them. Like you. I feel funny saying this to you, since it’s about you and you can tell how long I’ve been enamored by you, but I will. It’s the only way you’ll see that I’m all right.”
His fingers pressed into my hair, his palm cupping my cheek, hanging on my every word. “Please tell me, Abby. Because right now I’m thinking that as soon as the lust clears you’re going to hate me.” His gaze remained on mine. That haunted fear depicted in his paintings was lingering in their depths.
“Don’t worry, Jack. This fits with what I believe, and it wasn’t made up on the fly. A long time ago I decided that soulmates were the best part of Creation. It’s a rare blessing to find someone who you can understand on a deeper level, but a soulmate goes beyond that. It’s like the two are linked, as if they were made for each other, like Eve was made for Adam. She not only shared his flesh, his body, but she shared his soul. There’s nothing closer than that. Marriage wasn’t even on the table then, and they were together. There are lots of other stories, haunting and horrible, where God’s people found their soulmate only to discover that they couldn’t be together. Others broke propriety and slept together before they were married. Ruth would be a total slut by today’s standards. She was a poor woman, and slept with her master because her mother-in-law told her to. But that wasn’t the only reason. She loved him. They were made for each other...” my voice drifted off, realizing that I’d just told him much more than I thought I would. It wasn’t that I wanted to hide it from him, it was that I was afraid of his reaction. The concept of a soulmate was so much more binding than the concept of marriage. It was more than monogamy. It was not having eyes for anyone else. It was being so lost in your lover that you weren’t complete without them.
“You think we’re soulmates?” he asked softly, taking a deep breath. I nodded. Understanding crossed his face. “That’s why... That’s why you said you’d already fallen.” He shook his head, seemingly annoyed with himself.
My heart fluttered with worry. Pushing up on my elbows, I looked over at him. “I teased you in high school because you had this try-it-before-you-buy-it mentality with women, so I thought that it wasn’t you—that you weren’t made for me. That moment of insanity, that second where I tried to kiss you so long ago,” I took a deep breathe, “that was what my gut was telling me, that you were made for me and I you. There’s no reason why you have to accept it at all, Jack. You asked, you wanted to make sure I’m okay, and I am.” Nervousness filled my stomach like cold eels. I wanted to squirm, run away, and hide—but I forced myself to sit there and wait for his blue eyes to narrow on me. I had to wait for his smooth lips to move and accept or reject me.
His hand fell away from my face while I was talking, his gaze falling on the canvas below us. When I’d finished there was silence. Jack stared, unblinking for way too long. My heart felt like it was going to explode, but he finally answered, “You’re gut wasn’t wrong, Abby. I wasn’t the player you thought I was. I’d done stuff, yeah, but not everything. And not with everyone I dated. There was something missing with them. Something I did have with you. I guarded what we had, I was so afraid of it slipping away, that I didn’t see what was in front of me.”
Heart pounding in my ears, I replied, “What was that, Jack?”
His lips pulled up into a perfectly crooked grin, “Abby, there’s always been something missing when you’re not around. I never connected with anyone the way I do with you, and I never wanted anyone as much as I wanted you.” His blue gaze pierced through my haze of shock. He still seemed hesitant, withdrawn. A confession was on his lips. I held back, wanting to both throw my arms around him and wanting to run. The look in his eyes made me cringe. “But I’ve made mistakes, Abby. There have been others. I’m not pure like you.”
I already knew that. Relief washed through me. “Jack, you didn’t know. Neither did I. The past is the past. We found each other. That’s all that matters.” While I was speaking, I moved to my knees, and kneeled in front of him taking his face in my hands, feeling his stubble against my palms. “I love you, Jack.” I pressed a gentle kiss against his lips, but he pulled me against his bare chest, kissing me harder.
When he came up for air, he was smiling wide, “You keep saying all the good things first!” he teased. “I was going to say that. I was going to tell you that I loved you, that I loved you from the first moment I saw you, and want to love you for the rest of my life. Life without you, Abby, you’ve seen what it was—the paintings—you saw me in them, how lonely and unhappy I was...” his voice trailed off. He swallowed hard, his lashes lowering as he looked down at me, kneeling naked before him, “I’m never letting you go, Abby Tyndale.”
