He thought it was amazing that she had turned a horror into such strength. She was amazing for choosing work that would have to remind her daily of what had ripped her life apart. "And you decided to pay it back. To go into the kind of work that had turned you around."
"I knew I could help. And yes, I owed a debt, the same way you feel you owe one. I survived," she said, looking him dead in the eyes again, "but survival isn't enough. It wasn't enough for me, or for you. And it won't be enough for Seth."
"One thing at a time," he murmured. "I want to know if they caught the bastards."
"No." She'd long ago learned to accept and to live with that. "It was weeks before I was coherent enough to make a statement. They never caught them. The system doesn't always work, but I've learned, and I believe, it does its best."
"I've never thought so, and this doesn't change my mind." He started to reach out, hesitated, then tucked his hand into his pocket. "I'm sorry I hurt you. That I said things that made you remember."
"It's always there," she told him. "You cope and you put it aside for long periods of time. It comes back now and again, because it never really goes away."
"Did you have counseling?"
"Eventually, yes. I—" She broke off, sighed. "All right, I'm not saying counseling works miracles, Cam. I'm telling you it can be helpful, it can be healing. I needed it, and when I was finally ready to use that help, I was better."
"Let's do this." He did touch her now, just laid a hand over hers on the counter. "We'll leave it as an option. Let's see how things go… all around."
"See how things go." She sighed, too tired to argue. Her head ached, and her body felt hollowed out and fragile. "I agree with that, but I'll still recommend counseling in my report."
"Don't forget the shoes," he said dryly and was vastly relieved when she laughed.
"I won't have to mention them, because I know you'll have him at the store by the weekend."
"We could call it a compromise. I seem to be getting better at them lately."
"Then you must have been incredibly obstinate before."
"I think the word my parents used was 'bullheaded.'"
"It's comforting to be understood." She looked down at the hand covering hers. "If you asked to stay, I couldn't say no."
"I want to stay. I want you. But I can't ask tonight. Bad timing all around." She understood how some men felt about a woman who'd been sexually attacked. Her stomach seized into hard knots. But it was best to know. "Is it because I was raped?''
He wouldn't let it be. He refused to allow what had happened to her affect what would happen between them. "It's because you couldn't say no tonight and tomorrow you might be sorry you didn't." Surprised, she looked up at him again. "You're never quite what I expect you to be." He wasn't quite what he expected either, not lately. "This thing here. Whatever it is, isn't quite what I expected it to be. How about a Saturday night date?"
"I have a date Saturday." Her lips curved slowly. The knots in her stomach had loosened. She hadn't even been aware of it. "But I'll break it."
"Seven o'clock." He leaned across the counter, kissed her, lingered over it, kissed her again. "I'm going to want to finish this."
"So am I."
"Well." He heaved a sigh and started for the door while he was sure he could. "That's going to make the drive home easier."
He paused, turned around to look at her. "You said you survived, Anna, but you didn't. You triumphed. Everything about you is a testament to courage and strength." When she stared at him, obviously stunned, he smiled a little. "You didn't get either from a social worker or a counselor. They just helped you figure out how to use it. I figure you got it from your mother. She must have been a hell of a woman."
"She was," Anna murmured, near tears again.
"So are you." Cam closed the door quietly behind him.
He decided he would take his time driving home. He had a lot to think about.
Chapter Eleven
pretty saturday morningsin the spring were not meant to be spent indoors or on crowded streets. To Ethan they were meant to be spent on the water. The idea of shopping—actually shopping—was very close to terrifying.
"Don't see why we all have to do this."
Because he'd gotten to the Jeep first, Cam rode in front. He turned his head to spare Ethan a glance.
"Because we're all in this. The old Claremont barn's for rent, right? We need a place if we're going to build boats. We have to make the deal."
"Insanity," was all Phillip had to say as he turned down Market Street in St. Chris.
"Can't go into business if you don't have a place of business," Cam returned. He found that single fact inarguably logical. "So we take a look at it, make the deal with Claremont, and get started."
"Licenses, taxes, materials. Orders, for God's sake," Phillip began. "Tools, advertising, phone lines, fax lines, bookkeeping."
"So take care of it." Cam shrugged carelessly. "Soon as we sign the lease and get the kid his shoes, you can do whatever conies next."
"Ican do it?" Phillip complained at the same time Seth muttered he didn't need any damn shoes.
"Ethan got our first order, I found out about the building. You take care of the paperwork. And you're getting the damn shoes," he told Seth.
"I don't know how come you're the boss of everybody."
Cam could only manage a short, grim laugh. "Me either."
The Claremont building wasn't really a barn, but it was as big as one. In the mid-1700s it had been a tobacco warehouse. After the Revolutionary War, the British ships no longer sailed to St. Chris carrying their wide variety of goods. Businesses that had boomed went bankrupt.
The revival in the late 1800s grew directly from the bay. With improved methods of canning and packing the national market for oysters opened up and St. Chris once again prospered. And the old tobacco warehouse was refitted as a packinghouse.
Then the oyster beds played out, and the building became a glorified storage shed. Over the last fifty years it had been empty as often as it was filled.
"I knew I could help. And yes, I owed a debt, the same way you feel you owe one. I survived," she said, looking him dead in the eyes again, "but survival isn't enough. It wasn't enough for me, or for you. And it won't be enough for Seth."
"One thing at a time," he murmured. "I want to know if they caught the bastards."
"No." She'd long ago learned to accept and to live with that. "It was weeks before I was coherent enough to make a statement. They never caught them. The system doesn't always work, but I've learned, and I believe, it does its best."
"I've never thought so, and this doesn't change my mind." He started to reach out, hesitated, then tucked his hand into his pocket. "I'm sorry I hurt you. That I said things that made you remember."
"It's always there," she told him. "You cope and you put it aside for long periods of time. It comes back now and again, because it never really goes away."
"Did you have counseling?"
"Eventually, yes. I—" She broke off, sighed. "All right, I'm not saying counseling works miracles, Cam. I'm telling you it can be helpful, it can be healing. I needed it, and when I was finally ready to use that help, I was better."
"Let's do this." He did touch her now, just laid a hand over hers on the counter. "We'll leave it as an option. Let's see how things go… all around."
"See how things go." She sighed, too tired to argue. Her head ached, and her body felt hollowed out and fragile. "I agree with that, but I'll still recommend counseling in my report."
"Don't forget the shoes," he said dryly and was vastly relieved when she laughed.
"I won't have to mention them, because I know you'll have him at the store by the weekend."
"We could call it a compromise. I seem to be getting better at them lately."
"Then you must have been incredibly obstinate before."
"I think the word my parents used was 'bullheaded.'"
"It's comforting to be understood." She looked down at the hand covering hers. "If you asked to stay, I couldn't say no."
"I want to stay. I want you. But I can't ask tonight. Bad timing all around." She understood how some men felt about a woman who'd been sexually attacked. Her stomach seized into hard knots. But it was best to know. "Is it because I was raped?''
He wouldn't let it be. He refused to allow what had happened to her affect what would happen between them. "It's because you couldn't say no tonight and tomorrow you might be sorry you didn't." Surprised, she looked up at him again. "You're never quite what I expect you to be." He wasn't quite what he expected either, not lately. "This thing here. Whatever it is, isn't quite what I expected it to be. How about a Saturday night date?"
"I have a date Saturday." Her lips curved slowly. The knots in her stomach had loosened. She hadn't even been aware of it. "But I'll break it."
"Seven o'clock." He leaned across the counter, kissed her, lingered over it, kissed her again. "I'm going to want to finish this."
"So am I."
"Well." He heaved a sigh and started for the door while he was sure he could. "That's going to make the drive home easier."
He paused, turned around to look at her. "You said you survived, Anna, but you didn't. You triumphed. Everything about you is a testament to courage and strength." When she stared at him, obviously stunned, he smiled a little. "You didn't get either from a social worker or a counselor. They just helped you figure out how to use it. I figure you got it from your mother. She must have been a hell of a woman."
"She was," Anna murmured, near tears again.
"So are you." Cam closed the door quietly behind him.
He decided he would take his time driving home. He had a lot to think about.
Chapter Eleven
pretty saturday morningsin the spring were not meant to be spent indoors or on crowded streets. To Ethan they were meant to be spent on the water. The idea of shopping—actually shopping—was very close to terrifying.
"Don't see why we all have to do this."
Because he'd gotten to the Jeep first, Cam rode in front. He turned his head to spare Ethan a glance.
"Because we're all in this. The old Claremont barn's for rent, right? We need a place if we're going to build boats. We have to make the deal."
"Insanity," was all Phillip had to say as he turned down Market Street in St. Chris.
"Can't go into business if you don't have a place of business," Cam returned. He found that single fact inarguably logical. "So we take a look at it, make the deal with Claremont, and get started."
"Licenses, taxes, materials. Orders, for God's sake," Phillip began. "Tools, advertising, phone lines, fax lines, bookkeeping."
"So take care of it." Cam shrugged carelessly. "Soon as we sign the lease and get the kid his shoes, you can do whatever conies next."
"Ican do it?" Phillip complained at the same time Seth muttered he didn't need any damn shoes.
"Ethan got our first order, I found out about the building. You take care of the paperwork. And you're getting the damn shoes," he told Seth.
"I don't know how come you're the boss of everybody."
Cam could only manage a short, grim laugh. "Me either."
The Claremont building wasn't really a barn, but it was as big as one. In the mid-1700s it had been a tobacco warehouse. After the Revolutionary War, the British ships no longer sailed to St. Chris carrying their wide variety of goods. Businesses that had boomed went bankrupt.
The revival in the late 1800s grew directly from the bay. With improved methods of canning and packing the national market for oysters opened up and St. Chris once again prospered. And the old tobacco warehouse was refitted as a packinghouse.
Then the oyster beds played out, and the building became a glorified storage shed. Over the last fifty years it had been empty as often as it was filled.
