“Change the deal. Take the whole night. We got until morning to be what you need us to be,” he pushed. “Swear to Christ, you’re safe right here. I can give you that, Olivia. I can give you the night. I promise you that.”
The night.
Heaven.
Bliss.
For me, an eternity.
I shook my head again.
“Whatever it is, you don’t give it to me, what’ll you do with it?” he asked.
I shook my head again.
“Give it to me,” he whispered.
“I have to go, Sebring.”
“Give it to me, Olivia.”
“Please get off me.”
We stared at each other.
He stroked my neck.
I battled the burn in my throat.
Finally, he dipped his head, his nose gliding along my cheek until he touched his mouth to the skin just in front of my ear.
And then he shattered my world.
“You didn’t take that deal and I get that, Olivia. It’s smart. I know, I’d do the same thing,” he said there, his lips skimming against my skin. “You didn’t take what I was offering but in this moment, I gotta say something. I’m gonna say it once and it’s what you need know.”
With that introduction, he pressed closer and gave it to me.
“If you let whatever you got inside you loose, you’d make a man incredibly happy. You’d be a dream he couldn’t build. You’d be everything. You should not be fuckin’ a man who can give you nothing. You should find one you can trust who knows nothing for certain in the world except you’re his everything. I want you to come back to me tomorrow night. And the next. And the next. But I hope like fuck one day you disappear and I never hear from you again, no one ever hears from you again. And I hope that because I’ll know that’ll be the day you get what you deserve. Bein’ able to let loose with a man you trust who thinks you’re his everything.”
When he stopped talking, I turned my head and drew in a slow, deep breath, taking him in, my nose brushing his skin, knowing, the day I died, my last thought, my last feeling, the last scent I’d experience was going to be the memory of that breath.
Drawing in what I wanted but could never have.
Drawing in Nick Sebring.
Drawing in a Nick Sebring who’d just told me that man who I could trust who would think I was his everything was not nor ever would be him.
Then I whispered, “Sebring, please get off of me.”
It felt like I took more of his weight, like his powerful body slumped in defeat, right before he got off me.
And unfortunately, so gently to the point it was tenderly, he helped extricate me from the sheets and put me on my feet.
I got dressed. He did too so we could dance our dance, one neither of us enjoyed, one neither of us had the strength to stop.
In other words, so he could walk me to my car.
We stood at my driver’s side door and I wanted a hard, rough kiss to remind me of what we were.
But I knew I wouldn’t get it.
I didn’t.
Instead, he lifted both his hands to cup my face and got deep in my space.
“You’ll be back tomorrow night?” he asked.
“Yeah,” I answered.
“Yeah,” he whispered like it hurt to say.
“You do know, Sebring, that you should also be fucking a woman who can give you more than me,” I pointed out.
He’d already shattered my world.
But that was when he destroyed me.
“Funny how I can’t for the life of me figure out what that more would be.”
Slowly, I closed my eyes.
I felt him shift before I felt his lips touch my forehead.
I opened my eyes.
“Tomorrow night, Olivia.”
I nodded.
He let me go and stepped away.
I got in my car and only glanced at him briefly to lift my chin before I drove away.
For once, I didn’t look in my rearview.
But I made sure I was well away when I allowed myself to pull over and dissolve into tears.
The only thing I had, the only thing that gave me the strength to sort myself out, get back on the road, get home, get to bed and keep breathing was I knew.
I knew I had something to look forward to.
I knew I’d be with Nick the way I could have him and the way he could have me the next evening.
Only a few hours away.
Only a few hours.
And I’d again have Nick.
* * * * *
Nick
Nick stood at the top of his steps and watched the dark streets until he couldn’t see the back lights of Olivia’s Range Rover anymore.
Only then did he go into his unit.
He slid the door closed behind him and bolted it.
He stared at his place.
It was a great place. He liked it. He’d worked hard for it. He’d earned everything in there.
Gone were the days he tried to find the easy way, living under the shadow of Knight, deciding, since he could never beat his brother he might as well use him to get the good things in life.
Now they were his but only because he made it that way. He’d worked hard. He’d done it.
So yeah, he liked his place. He liked his car. He liked his clothes.
He had it all and he liked it all.
He had it all.
The look on Olivia’s face after he offered his deal blistered his brain.
Fuck, he did not have it all.
And Olivia Shade was not a mystery.
With the time they’d spent together, he now knew so down deep it was the fucking air he breathed that Olivia Shade was something of exquisite beauty not allowed to be what she needed to be.
Beauty bound.
She was not a ghost who could be seen.
She was a hostage in a lavish cage.
Like how she got her scar, he could not know this with any certainty since he could never ask because she’d never tell.
The night.
Heaven.
Bliss.
For me, an eternity.
I shook my head again.
“Whatever it is, you don’t give it to me, what’ll you do with it?” he asked.
I shook my head again.
“Give it to me,” he whispered.
“I have to go, Sebring.”
“Give it to me, Olivia.”
“Please get off me.”
We stared at each other.
He stroked my neck.
I battled the burn in my throat.
Finally, he dipped his head, his nose gliding along my cheek until he touched his mouth to the skin just in front of my ear.
And then he shattered my world.
“You didn’t take that deal and I get that, Olivia. It’s smart. I know, I’d do the same thing,” he said there, his lips skimming against my skin. “You didn’t take what I was offering but in this moment, I gotta say something. I’m gonna say it once and it’s what you need know.”
With that introduction, he pressed closer and gave it to me.
“If you let whatever you got inside you loose, you’d make a man incredibly happy. You’d be a dream he couldn’t build. You’d be everything. You should not be fuckin’ a man who can give you nothing. You should find one you can trust who knows nothing for certain in the world except you’re his everything. I want you to come back to me tomorrow night. And the next. And the next. But I hope like fuck one day you disappear and I never hear from you again, no one ever hears from you again. And I hope that because I’ll know that’ll be the day you get what you deserve. Bein’ able to let loose with a man you trust who thinks you’re his everything.”
When he stopped talking, I turned my head and drew in a slow, deep breath, taking him in, my nose brushing his skin, knowing, the day I died, my last thought, my last feeling, the last scent I’d experience was going to be the memory of that breath.
Drawing in what I wanted but could never have.
Drawing in Nick Sebring.
Drawing in a Nick Sebring who’d just told me that man who I could trust who would think I was his everything was not nor ever would be him.
Then I whispered, “Sebring, please get off of me.”
It felt like I took more of his weight, like his powerful body slumped in defeat, right before he got off me.
And unfortunately, so gently to the point it was tenderly, he helped extricate me from the sheets and put me on my feet.
I got dressed. He did too so we could dance our dance, one neither of us enjoyed, one neither of us had the strength to stop.
In other words, so he could walk me to my car.
We stood at my driver’s side door and I wanted a hard, rough kiss to remind me of what we were.
But I knew I wouldn’t get it.
I didn’t.
Instead, he lifted both his hands to cup my face and got deep in my space.
“You’ll be back tomorrow night?” he asked.
“Yeah,” I answered.
“Yeah,” he whispered like it hurt to say.
“You do know, Sebring, that you should also be fucking a woman who can give you more than me,” I pointed out.
He’d already shattered my world.
But that was when he destroyed me.
“Funny how I can’t for the life of me figure out what that more would be.”
Slowly, I closed my eyes.
I felt him shift before I felt his lips touch my forehead.
I opened my eyes.
“Tomorrow night, Olivia.”
I nodded.
He let me go and stepped away.
I got in my car and only glanced at him briefly to lift my chin before I drove away.
For once, I didn’t look in my rearview.
But I made sure I was well away when I allowed myself to pull over and dissolve into tears.
The only thing I had, the only thing that gave me the strength to sort myself out, get back on the road, get home, get to bed and keep breathing was I knew.
I knew I had something to look forward to.
I knew I’d be with Nick the way I could have him and the way he could have me the next evening.
Only a few hours away.
Only a few hours.
And I’d again have Nick.
* * * * *
Nick
Nick stood at the top of his steps and watched the dark streets until he couldn’t see the back lights of Olivia’s Range Rover anymore.
Only then did he go into his unit.
He slid the door closed behind him and bolted it.
He stared at his place.
It was a great place. He liked it. He’d worked hard for it. He’d earned everything in there.
Gone were the days he tried to find the easy way, living under the shadow of Knight, deciding, since he could never beat his brother he might as well use him to get the good things in life.
Now they were his but only because he made it that way. He’d worked hard. He’d done it.
So yeah, he liked his place. He liked his car. He liked his clothes.
He had it all and he liked it all.
He had it all.
The look on Olivia’s face after he offered his deal blistered his brain.
Fuck, he did not have it all.
And Olivia Shade was not a mystery.
With the time they’d spent together, he now knew so down deep it was the fucking air he breathed that Olivia Shade was something of exquisite beauty not allowed to be what she needed to be.
Beauty bound.
She was not a ghost who could be seen.
She was a hostage in a lavish cage.
Like how she got her scar, he could not know this with any certainty since he could never ask because she’d never tell.
