Stellar. He was going to show up on Adam’s doorstep looking like he didn’t give a shit.
Gabriel appeared in his doorway. “I thought you had to study.”
“Library. Helping Quinn with trig.” Nick couldn’t meet his eyes. It was easier keeping the secret from Chris and Michael, but Gabriel would see right through him. Now he definitely couldn’t linger.
He grabbed a tube of hair stuff and squeezed some into his hand. He ran it through his hair as he went down the steps, hoping it would be enough. Then the car keys were in his hand and his messenger bag was over his shoulder.
“Nicky—” Gabriel started.
“Later, okay?” Nick said. “I told her I’d pick her up at eight.”
“But—”
Nick shut the door in his face. Then he paused there on the porch, his hand on the doorknob. For an instant, he wanted to pull the door open. Gabriel knew he was hiding something, as clearly as Nick had known it when Gabriel was sneaking into burning houses with Hunter.
As clearly as Nick knew Gabriel was on the other side of this door, his hand on the same doorknob, deliberating whether to come after him.
For an instant, Nick wanted him to. He wanted Gabriel to throw open the door and demand something like what the f**k is going on with you, Nicky? Because then he could tell him, and he wouldn’t have to carry this secret around anymore.
The door jerked open and the knob slipped from under his hand. Nick gasped and tried to hold on to his heartbeat before it bolted straight out of his body.
Gabriel studied him, his expression fierce.
Nick braced himself. Tell him. Tell him tell him tell him.
His lips froze. He couldn’t speak. He couldn’t breathe.
“Hey,” said Gabriel. “You tell Quinn if Tyler messes with her again, I’ll track him down and make him hurt for a month.”
Right. Quinn. His girlfriend.
The air left Nick’s lungs. He turned and stepped off the porch, willing the adrenaline to get the hell out of his body.
“You don’t even like Quinn.”
“Yeah, but it’s nice to have an excuse to go kick his ass.”
Nick pushed the button to unlock the car and didn’t say anything.
“Nicky,” Gabriel called from the porch. His voice gained an edge. “Are you mad at me about something?”
No. Yes. Nick had no idea.
“No,” he called back. “Just late.”
He started the car so he didn’t have to hear what else Gabriel said. But his brother’s offer rolled around in his head, gaining traction while he drove. Quinn wasn’t even his girlfriend, so it shouldn’t have pissed him off.
But it did. Mostly because Gabriel was right: Nick hadn’t done anything to protect her.
He knew being g*y wasn’t the equivalent of being weak, but right now, it sure felt like they went hand in hand.
He couldn’t exactly dispute it, either, not while he was sneaking out to see a guy instead of avenging Quinn.
When he pulled into the parking lot, he killed the engine, then sat there. He’d been keyed up about seeing Adam all day, and now he wanted to crawl back into that proverbial closet and wedge the door closed.
This was like physics class, where he didn’t know the right formulas. Adam would be expecting something from him tonight, and Nick had no idea what. Was study here just code for come over and make out? What if it was, and Nick missed the cues? Worse, what if it wasn’t?
He looked at the clock on the dash. Ten past eight. He was already late. He could start the engine and peel out of here. Forget their kiss. Forget everything.
Coward. First he couldn’t face Gabriel, and now he couldn’t face Adam.
A hand knocked on the passenger window, and Nick jumped a mile.
Adam stood there in the dark, his eyes shadowed and his expression hidden.
Nick unlocked the car, and Adam climbed in without hesitation, bringing the scent of cloves and oranges with him.
He didn’t say anything, and Nick peeked over at him. He’d expected loose dance clothes like last night, but Adam wore dark jeans and a red T-shirt under a charcoal gray pea coat. He had a messenger bag, too, beat-up brown leather that looked like it would explode from the weight of whatever was inside. His expression was easy, but his eyes were cautious.
When he spoke, his voice was gently teasing. “Do I pass muster?”
Nick jerked his eyes away. “You look great. Good. Yeah.
Fine.”
Jesus, was he going to sound like a raving idiot every time he saw this guy? Me Nick. Me like boys. Me especially like how you look in that pea coat.
Adam smiled, and it chased some of the tension from his eyes. “You look great, good, fine, too. Are you hungry?”
“Starving, actually.” He hadn’t eaten dinner before meeting his brothers, and there sure hadn’t been time once he’d gotten home. Nick reached for the keys, but he couldn’t start the car.
His brain was screaming at him. Public! Public! Public! He didn’t know whether that was better or worse than going down to Adam’s apartment. He had to clear his throat.
“Where do you want to go?”
“Little place up the road. Dirt cheap and always deserted because they don’t have a liquor license.”
Something loosened in Nick’s chest. “Sounds great.”
Adam reached out and stopped his hand before he could start the engine. “I thought maybe we could walk.” He paused. “Unless you think the weather won’t hold. It’s windy. Might rain.”
Gabriel appeared in his doorway. “I thought you had to study.”
“Library. Helping Quinn with trig.” Nick couldn’t meet his eyes. It was easier keeping the secret from Chris and Michael, but Gabriel would see right through him. Now he definitely couldn’t linger.
He grabbed a tube of hair stuff and squeezed some into his hand. He ran it through his hair as he went down the steps, hoping it would be enough. Then the car keys were in his hand and his messenger bag was over his shoulder.
“Nicky—” Gabriel started.
“Later, okay?” Nick said. “I told her I’d pick her up at eight.”
“But—”
Nick shut the door in his face. Then he paused there on the porch, his hand on the doorknob. For an instant, he wanted to pull the door open. Gabriel knew he was hiding something, as clearly as Nick had known it when Gabriel was sneaking into burning houses with Hunter.
As clearly as Nick knew Gabriel was on the other side of this door, his hand on the same doorknob, deliberating whether to come after him.
For an instant, Nick wanted him to. He wanted Gabriel to throw open the door and demand something like what the f**k is going on with you, Nicky? Because then he could tell him, and he wouldn’t have to carry this secret around anymore.
The door jerked open and the knob slipped from under his hand. Nick gasped and tried to hold on to his heartbeat before it bolted straight out of his body.
Gabriel studied him, his expression fierce.
Nick braced himself. Tell him. Tell him tell him tell him.
His lips froze. He couldn’t speak. He couldn’t breathe.
“Hey,” said Gabriel. “You tell Quinn if Tyler messes with her again, I’ll track him down and make him hurt for a month.”
Right. Quinn. His girlfriend.
The air left Nick’s lungs. He turned and stepped off the porch, willing the adrenaline to get the hell out of his body.
“You don’t even like Quinn.”
“Yeah, but it’s nice to have an excuse to go kick his ass.”
Nick pushed the button to unlock the car and didn’t say anything.
“Nicky,” Gabriel called from the porch. His voice gained an edge. “Are you mad at me about something?”
No. Yes. Nick had no idea.
“No,” he called back. “Just late.”
He started the car so he didn’t have to hear what else Gabriel said. But his brother’s offer rolled around in his head, gaining traction while he drove. Quinn wasn’t even his girlfriend, so it shouldn’t have pissed him off.
But it did. Mostly because Gabriel was right: Nick hadn’t done anything to protect her.
He knew being g*y wasn’t the equivalent of being weak, but right now, it sure felt like they went hand in hand.
He couldn’t exactly dispute it, either, not while he was sneaking out to see a guy instead of avenging Quinn.
When he pulled into the parking lot, he killed the engine, then sat there. He’d been keyed up about seeing Adam all day, and now he wanted to crawl back into that proverbial closet and wedge the door closed.
This was like physics class, where he didn’t know the right formulas. Adam would be expecting something from him tonight, and Nick had no idea what. Was study here just code for come over and make out? What if it was, and Nick missed the cues? Worse, what if it wasn’t?
He looked at the clock on the dash. Ten past eight. He was already late. He could start the engine and peel out of here. Forget their kiss. Forget everything.
Coward. First he couldn’t face Gabriel, and now he couldn’t face Adam.
A hand knocked on the passenger window, and Nick jumped a mile.
Adam stood there in the dark, his eyes shadowed and his expression hidden.
Nick unlocked the car, and Adam climbed in without hesitation, bringing the scent of cloves and oranges with him.
He didn’t say anything, and Nick peeked over at him. He’d expected loose dance clothes like last night, but Adam wore dark jeans and a red T-shirt under a charcoal gray pea coat. He had a messenger bag, too, beat-up brown leather that looked like it would explode from the weight of whatever was inside. His expression was easy, but his eyes were cautious.
When he spoke, his voice was gently teasing. “Do I pass muster?”
Nick jerked his eyes away. “You look great. Good. Yeah.
Fine.”
Jesus, was he going to sound like a raving idiot every time he saw this guy? Me Nick. Me like boys. Me especially like how you look in that pea coat.
Adam smiled, and it chased some of the tension from his eyes. “You look great, good, fine, too. Are you hungry?”
“Starving, actually.” He hadn’t eaten dinner before meeting his brothers, and there sure hadn’t been time once he’d gotten home. Nick reached for the keys, but he couldn’t start the car.
His brain was screaming at him. Public! Public! Public! He didn’t know whether that was better or worse than going down to Adam’s apartment. He had to clear his throat.
“Where do you want to go?”
“Little place up the road. Dirt cheap and always deserted because they don’t have a liquor license.”
Something loosened in Nick’s chest. “Sounds great.”
Adam reached out and stopped his hand before he could start the engine. “I thought maybe we could walk.” He paused. “Unless you think the weather won’t hold. It’s windy. Might rain.”
