Seduce Me in Shadow
Page 36

As Bram had ceased Cadens involvement with the Doomsday Brethren, he needed to do the same with Sydney. After settling Lucan in at home, hed protect her, but no more.
As he entered the bedroom, Sabelle left, answering his unspoken question as she did. Conrad just left. Sydneys fine.
Indeed, Sydney insisted as she dug into her handbag and extracted the camera. Help me edit this film? I know youre against me transcasting, but you saw how evil Mathias was. We cant let him continue to run amok. I want to transcast within the hour.
His advice was going to fall on deaf ears, but Caden felt compelled to say it. You understand that theres no going back? Youll both incur Mathiass supreme wrath and be trapped in magickind forever.
Trapped? She frowned. I have a chance now to save lives and achieve everything I ever dreamed. Nothing worth doing is without risk.
Pretty speech. I dont think it will comfort you when Mathias tries to kill you. Im not helping you transcast.
She cocked her head and peered at him, clearly puzzling something out. Youre walking away and leaving this mess to Bram and the others and wasting your abilities when you could be helping, too.
Bram tossed me out, and Im leaving something I never wanted to be involved in.
Sydney paused, drew back. Youre leaving me as well.
Caden saw no reason to beat about the bush. Ill protect you. I cant be this close, care this much, and lose you. I . . . cant.
Clenching her fists, Sydney tried to hold back sudden tears. And failed. I dont understand you. First, you ran from your parents and your heritage, spent ten years trying to be American and human, when youre neither. You came back to help your brother, why? Obligation? Because you couldnt avoid it without feeling like a heel? Youre not running from the Doomsday Brethren and me. Youre running from yourselflike you have been your whole life.
Caden accepted the rebuke in silence. Sydney simply didnt understand. Nor could she relate to the tangle of affection and duty he felt for Lucan after losing Westin. And she had no way of comprehending the disastrous results of a failed magical mating. Would it make a difference if she did? No, it was too late now. Some things simply werent meant to be.
Youve oversimplified everything, he said.
Have I? Explain to me exactly how this isnt running from your destiny.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
SYDNEY, I DONT EXPECT you to understand.
Which meant he wasnt even going to try to explain. Grief felt like a blow to the chest.
Make me understand. Why?
He raked a frustrated hand through mussed brown hair.
Magic isnt always . . . good.
Mathias proves that.
I mean that using magic, even the sort you think is good, can change your life in terrible ways.
His words renewed her dread. Shed fantasized about him in the Doomsday Diary to lure him to her side. Had that changed their lives in terrible ways? The possibility sounded ugly. How much, if any, of their affection and passion was due strictly to the books magic?
Youre always so bloody vague, raising more questions than you answer.
Sighing, pacing, he grasped for words. Magic is all new and interesting to you now, but its ripped apart my life more than once.
Change happens in everyones lives, whether youre magical or not. Tell me whats so terrible
No point except to dredge up bad memories and burden you with tragedies you cant change. I just need to go.
You belong here, fighting beside these warriors. I think you belong beside me, as well. She pressed her lips together to hold in tears. Ive fallen in love with you. You used magic today to save me, though you hate it. You must care about me a bit. Perhaps, in time, it could be real
It is real. His blue eyes burned with truth.
But a niggle of doubt remained.
Cadens slumped shoulders and the exhausted lines bracketing his eyes and mouth made him look like defeat on two legs. I wish the answer was as simple as love, firecracker. But taking the next step with you means accepting magic I dont trust. Its too uncontrollable.
Though she knew better, Sydney couldnt stop fighting for them. So is life!
Ive died a hundred times with the desire to kiss you, but if I do, we would be mated for life. You would adopt my lifespan, so that means hundreds of years, literally. He wrapped warm hands around her shoulders, and Sydney wished hed welcome her farther into his embrace. But if you keep to this path, youre going to dieand take me down with you. I cant stand by and watch. It will drive me mad.
His every word was a pick ax to the heart, and she struggled to comprehend his reasons for walking away from greatness and love for the mundane and lonely. So youd prefer to end it, just to be safe?
Caden hesitated. Youve chosen to remain, and Im going to protect you. But mating in the middle of a war with both of us on the front lines, there would be consequences you cant begin to comprehend.
Explain them.
He sighed. Even if I did, it would change nothing. We want different lives. I wont lie and say I dont love you or that I dont wish things could be different. But Id be doing us both a disservice if I spoke the Call. Caden looked at her then with bleak, hollow eyes. The expression magnified as he touched her cheek and leaned in to hold her close and kiss her forehead. Ill remain your bodyguard, nothing more.
Sydney pulled away from his embrace. A deep, heavy ache spread across her chest, shattering her heart into a million pieces. Ill do my damnedest to make you regret your choice.
She grabbed the video camera, hurt pounding inside her. But she hesitated. That tousled hair that curled at the ends, those electric eyes, the ripped body . . . yes, at first hed been a walking fantasy, and shed lusted after him. But soon, shed discovered the man beneath, the one who put his brother first, who believed in her, who made love passionately, who fought to protect her even when he wanted to run away.
But it appeared that magic was a hurdle they couldnt overcome. Sydney wasnt going to walk away from magickind. This had become more than a story to her. Bram and the others were a handful against a powerful evil. If she could help them, she would. Shed proudly do this job until she could return to the human world to tell the best story ever about magickind.
Pity shed take the spotlight alone.
No doubt youll achieve all your ambitions. Ill miss you.
Tears burning her eyes, she watched Caden leave.
. . . sobering video from a fight that took place earlier today. Mathias DArc is definitely back and, as you saw, is abducting soldiers from around the world and converting them to zombies to make his army. He and his followers have attacked at least four Privileged families, killing many and abducting the women. Take precautions. Keep close watch on all family members. Never stray far from your wand. Have some means of communication nearby. If youre being attacked, contact Bram Rion. Updates will follow as necessary. Im Sydney Blair. Stay safe. Good afternoon.
With that, Bram waved a hand in front of the ancient, heavy mirror hanging in the library. Beside him, Sabelle stood with a smile, despite the strain on her face.
Good job, Bram praised, exiting into the hall. Angry Council members will scream their displeasure in mere moments, I suspect, but at least innocent people have been warned.
Youve done the right thing, Sabelle added, following Bram.
Nodding, he sighed and approached Sydney. Are you all right?
Define all right, she thought. Transcasting the news of Mathiass return had been both exhilarating and bittersweet. Without Caden here to cheer her on, hold her hand, love her afterward . . . a part of her was missing.
Fine. Melancholy and exhaustion made holding her plastic smile a Herculean task.
Ill pretend I believe you and wait for the deluge of messages in my office. The rest of the warriors and I should talk, plan our next moves. He paused and placed a hand on her shoulder. Youve done us a great service at much risk to yourself. I appreciate you. I know the others do as well.
Looking tired but determined, Bram left.
I dont know what hes going to do, Sabelle murmured after hed cleared the room.
Do?
Hes nearly out of energy and cannot find his mate, the witch explained. Thus far, hes only skimmed the barest amount from a surrogate. I hope he finds this mystery woman soon. Or takes more energy. Hes too important to the cause to go on like this.
What will happen if he doesnt?
Hell die. Its why Ive been tending Cadens brother. Technically, hes no longer mated since Anka broke with him, but he rejected all females until I duped him into believing I was her. His condition is awful. Hes keeping his strength now, but his mind . . . I dont know if hell recover.
Caden had returned to the UK for his brother and had reluctantly admitted that Lucan had a mental imbalance, but nothing more. Now she saw the truth hed avoided telling her. Sabelles explanation made all the pieces click into place. Lucans magical divorce from Anka had caused Lucans condition. Could Caden be rejecting a future with me, not because Id written in the diary, but because he feared becoming like his brother?
Oh. Dear God.
Suddenly, Sabelle speared Sydney with a direct stare. Youre right. Sorry to read your mind. Terrible habit. Caden is terrified of becoming like Lucan. She shook her head. I hope Caden finds Anka before its too late.
She had to see the man, had to know what had spooked Caden. Trying to fight something she couldnt see and scarcely understood was both stupid and impossible.
When Caden left, I told him I would be by shortly to see Lucan. Im certain theyre settled in at Lucans townhouse. I think its time you see the dangerous side of magic.
She hardly needed more proof to understand magics potential peril. But perhaps this would unravel the rest of the complicated puzzle of Caden.
Of course.
No pictures. I simply want you to understand, not report.
Naturally. If I reported on Lucans condition, it might spur Mathias to take the mates of other Doomsday Brethren.
Just Bram, Sabelle provided. Marrok isnt a wizard, and none of the others are fully mated.
Fully mated?
Sabelle began trudging her way up the stairs. Remember when I told you about the Call? They ask, you answer, then youre mated?
She nodded. It sounded simple enough, so how can someone be partially mated?
They ask and theyre refused.
But if theyre refused, how can the bond be established?
The wizard takes a mate in his heart when he speaks the words. Whether or not he genuinely means them or the feelings are reciprocated, he is bound by that Call. Until the woman dies, he is hers exclusively.
Sydneys jaw dropped as she followed the woman. And one of these big warriors
Shock. He Called to Anka shortly before Lucan did and was eventually Renounced.
Another jaw dropper. Lucan and Shock quarreling over the same woman?
For over a century. When Lucan slipped into mate mourning, we called Caden here to care for his brother. Hes afraid because he knows youre his, but has seen firsthand the tragic possibilities of mating.
Sabelle reached the top of the stairs and headed for a corner room in the family wing. Sydney had never been to this side of the estate, and when the witch pushed her way into a glamorous room, Sydneys jaw threatened to drop once more. Sumptuous cream silk bedding with golden touches was relieved by hints of melted chocolate. The walls were warm, the drapes swagged, the furniture of dark, glossy wood. Crystal candlesticks gleamed, plush furniture lounged. The room fit Sabelle completely.
Its lovely.
Sabelle smiled. My haven. I just need to grab a few things. Should only be a moment.
Why not just summon objects? Sydney wondered.
The beautiful witch sent her a chiding stare. Im saving my energy for whats to come.
She grabbed a cape, a length of silk, rope, and a pair of handcuffs. Sydneys brows raised.
I dont know what Im facing over there, Sabelle explained. Here, we had Lucan well restrained so he wouldnt be a danger to anyone.
Suddenly, Sydney wasnt sure she wanted to see Lucan after all. But Sabelle grabbed her arm. Blackness and that topsy-turvy feeling invaded her stomach. A weightless feel left her at odds and ends.
Then the floor appeared beneath them, and they zoomed into a room straight out of Tuscany, with walls like an autumn afternoon and drapes the color of wine, accented by a gleaming hardwood floor.
The only thing out of place was the snarling man secured by rope to all four corners of the bed. His dark hair had been pulled back, revealing a face that would normally be considered handsome. It was so like Cadens with high cheekbones, a wide mouth, a sculpted jaw. But instead of the familiar vibrant blue, Lucans eyes were just angry black pinpricks. No warmth or passion, as feral as a wild wolfs.
Lucan snapped his unfocused gaze in their direction and roared, struggling against his bonds as the bed creaked. Surprise pinged through Sydney. She stepped back. Way back.
Losing Anka did this to him?
Sabelle nodded solemnly.
He missed his mate so much that hed lost his mind? Sydney had never met Lucan, but she ached for him and the pain he was obviously enduring.