A sense of foreboding struck Shade. Something was wrong for Lily to be acting that way.
He followed behind her, concerned yet wanting to wait until they were alone at their house. She didn’t go to their house, though. She went to Beth’s and Razer’s, knocking on their door.
“Lily, what…?” Shade started.
Beth answered the door, her eyes going first to Lily’s frightened face then Shade’s concerned one. Before she could speak, Lily held out her hand.
“I need to borrow your car keys.”
“Okay.” Beth left the door briefly before coming back. She was about to hand Lily the keys when Shade cut in.
“Lily, if you want to go somewhere, I’ll take you.” Shade tried to take her arm but she jerked away from him, still not meeting his eyes.
Razer came to the door of his house, watching silently. When he would have said something, Shade turned to him and snapped, “Don’t interfere.”
“Lily, come inside and tell me what’s wrong.”
“If you don’t give me the keys, I’ll call a cab. It’s what I should have done, but a cab wouldn’t drive me to the airport in Lexington.”
“You’re too far along to get on a plane,” Beth reminded her.
“Then I’ll drive to where I’m going.”
“Lily, what is fucking wrong?” Shade couldn’t keep the harshness out of his voice because he was too worried. His guts twisted at how she was ignoring him as if he wasn’t there. She hadn’t acknowledged his presence until he had reached out to touch her.
Bliss and Train had been sitting on the picnic table, drinking beers. Shade felt them watching. The kitchen window was open, and when the door opened and the members started coming out, he knew they were hearing their raised voices.
He reached out to touch Lily’s arm, but she moved out of his reach again jerkily.
“I’m leaving you, and as soon as possible, I’m going to divorce you.” Her voice was emotionless, unlike anything he had heard come from her before.
“The hell you are!”
“You can’t stop me. You’ve lied to me the whole time we were married. I’m the only one here who didn’t know your secret, because you knew I wouldn’t marry you if I knew the truth.” Lily walked agitatedly back and forth across Beth’s porch.
“What are you accusing me off?” Shade asked quietly.
“You’re an assassin, hired by the highest bidder to kill people. Did you kill Digger?”
“Yes.”
“Georgia?”
“Yes.”
“Oh, God.” Lily shook, crying and grabbing onto the porch rail.
Beth took a step forward, but Shade blocked her. Razer took her arm, pulling her back and holding her around the waist.
“I’m not going to apologize to you for anything I’ve done. I’ve never killed anyone who didn’t deserve it.”
“You’re not God! It’s not up to you to make that judgment.”
“Whose is it, then? What justice did their victims get? They don’t even have a fucking body count on how many women Digger killed or know where their bodies are. Their families will never be given the chance to bury them. Where’s the justice in that?
“Georgia tried to kill you twice, and do you think she would have shed one tear if she had succeeded? The night she started the fire, she could have killed not only us, but the whole club. It was full that night, so over sixty people could have died.”
“She was in prison.”
“The bitch had three kids, and her lawyer was filing a petition to get her out,” Shade said remorselessly.
“You don’t even care that those kids are orphans now.”
“I gave Lewis a job so he could support them.”
“He’s dead.”
“Which I’m not responsible for. I’m searching for their father.”
“That doesn’t matter. You killed their mother.”
“Which they’re better off without,” Shade said ruthlessly.
“You don’t even care, do you? But that’s not a surprise, is it? You already know you’re incapable of emotion, don’t you?”
“Yes, I’ve known since I saw a kid in second grade get hit by a car, and I didn’t feel anything. I knew before then something was wrong with me, but I couldn’t understand what the psychiatrist was telling my parents.
“He told them I have an attachment disorder, either from the constant moving around my father had to do in the military or the copious amounts of alcohol my mother drank while she was pregnant. Take your pick; it could have been either or both.”
“You lied to me. You told me you loved me! Everything—all of it—was lies.”
“None of it was lies. I love you, and I have from the first moment I saw you,” Shade said truthfully.
Lily turned away from him, holding her hand out to Beth. “I’m begging you for those car keys. Please, Beth,” Lily pleaded.
Once Beth held out the keys, giving them to Lily, she turned, leaving the porch and going down the walkway.
Shade didn’t say anything as he followed silently behind her, his cold heart filled with anguish which was slowly breaking him inside.
“You bitch!” Bliss moved to block her path. “Do you even know half of the things he’s done for you? If it wasn’t for him, you would have been in a psychiatric ward by now.”
“Shut up, Bliss,” Shade ordered.
“No, I’m not going to shut up. I’ve loved that man for years! Fucking years! But he never once gave me an ounce of hope that I was anything except a pussy for him to get off in. For you, he works a job he hates, kisses your ass as if you’re a fucking princess, and do you appreciate it? No, you’re leaving him and taking his child, too. Go! You don’t deserve him.”
“That’s enough, Bliss,” Winter said, stepping forward. “Lily, please stay with Beth or in town and think this over. Don’t be rash in making a decision.”
Lily stepped around her and kept walking; however, she turned around when Shade kept following her.
“Stop! You can’t change my mind. I’m leaving!” Lily screamed at him.
“I know. I won’t stop you from leaving, but I’m coming with you.”
“No, you’re not! Our marriage is over, I’m going to file for a divorce…” She twisted her hands together.
“Then take off my ring, I’m surprised you’re not throwing it at me. You like to throw things when you’re mad, so why aren’t you throwing my ring?”
Lily lips trembled as she turned to go back down the path. “Go away!”
“Where you go, I will go,” Shade repeated. “I won’t break my vows to you. I promised.” Shade stared at her, seeing the tears well in her tortured eyes.
She fell to her knees, crying while holding her stomach as she rocked back and forth.
“Oh, God, help me. Please, help me. I can’t do this,” she prayed.
Shade crouched on his knees beside her without touching her. “What can you not do, Lily?”
“Leave you.” Lily buried her face in her hands, crying helplessly. “I told her I wouldn’t even after she told me all about you and showed me proof. I told her I wouldn’t. She showed me your military records, and she told me Digger and Georgia were both killed by a sniper.”
He followed behind her, concerned yet wanting to wait until they were alone at their house. She didn’t go to their house, though. She went to Beth’s and Razer’s, knocking on their door.
“Lily, what…?” Shade started.
Beth answered the door, her eyes going first to Lily’s frightened face then Shade’s concerned one. Before she could speak, Lily held out her hand.
“I need to borrow your car keys.”
“Okay.” Beth left the door briefly before coming back. She was about to hand Lily the keys when Shade cut in.
“Lily, if you want to go somewhere, I’ll take you.” Shade tried to take her arm but she jerked away from him, still not meeting his eyes.
Razer came to the door of his house, watching silently. When he would have said something, Shade turned to him and snapped, “Don’t interfere.”
“Lily, come inside and tell me what’s wrong.”
“If you don’t give me the keys, I’ll call a cab. It’s what I should have done, but a cab wouldn’t drive me to the airport in Lexington.”
“You’re too far along to get on a plane,” Beth reminded her.
“Then I’ll drive to where I’m going.”
“Lily, what is fucking wrong?” Shade couldn’t keep the harshness out of his voice because he was too worried. His guts twisted at how she was ignoring him as if he wasn’t there. She hadn’t acknowledged his presence until he had reached out to touch her.
Bliss and Train had been sitting on the picnic table, drinking beers. Shade felt them watching. The kitchen window was open, and when the door opened and the members started coming out, he knew they were hearing their raised voices.
He reached out to touch Lily’s arm, but she moved out of his reach again jerkily.
“I’m leaving you, and as soon as possible, I’m going to divorce you.” Her voice was emotionless, unlike anything he had heard come from her before.
“The hell you are!”
“You can’t stop me. You’ve lied to me the whole time we were married. I’m the only one here who didn’t know your secret, because you knew I wouldn’t marry you if I knew the truth.” Lily walked agitatedly back and forth across Beth’s porch.
“What are you accusing me off?” Shade asked quietly.
“You’re an assassin, hired by the highest bidder to kill people. Did you kill Digger?”
“Yes.”
“Georgia?”
“Yes.”
“Oh, God.” Lily shook, crying and grabbing onto the porch rail.
Beth took a step forward, but Shade blocked her. Razer took her arm, pulling her back and holding her around the waist.
“I’m not going to apologize to you for anything I’ve done. I’ve never killed anyone who didn’t deserve it.”
“You’re not God! It’s not up to you to make that judgment.”
“Whose is it, then? What justice did their victims get? They don’t even have a fucking body count on how many women Digger killed or know where their bodies are. Their families will never be given the chance to bury them. Where’s the justice in that?
“Georgia tried to kill you twice, and do you think she would have shed one tear if she had succeeded? The night she started the fire, she could have killed not only us, but the whole club. It was full that night, so over sixty people could have died.”
“She was in prison.”
“The bitch had three kids, and her lawyer was filing a petition to get her out,” Shade said remorselessly.
“You don’t even care that those kids are orphans now.”
“I gave Lewis a job so he could support them.”
“He’s dead.”
“Which I’m not responsible for. I’m searching for their father.”
“That doesn’t matter. You killed their mother.”
“Which they’re better off without,” Shade said ruthlessly.
“You don’t even care, do you? But that’s not a surprise, is it? You already know you’re incapable of emotion, don’t you?”
“Yes, I’ve known since I saw a kid in second grade get hit by a car, and I didn’t feel anything. I knew before then something was wrong with me, but I couldn’t understand what the psychiatrist was telling my parents.
“He told them I have an attachment disorder, either from the constant moving around my father had to do in the military or the copious amounts of alcohol my mother drank while she was pregnant. Take your pick; it could have been either or both.”
“You lied to me. You told me you loved me! Everything—all of it—was lies.”
“None of it was lies. I love you, and I have from the first moment I saw you,” Shade said truthfully.
Lily turned away from him, holding her hand out to Beth. “I’m begging you for those car keys. Please, Beth,” Lily pleaded.
Once Beth held out the keys, giving them to Lily, she turned, leaving the porch and going down the walkway.
Shade didn’t say anything as he followed silently behind her, his cold heart filled with anguish which was slowly breaking him inside.
“You bitch!” Bliss moved to block her path. “Do you even know half of the things he’s done for you? If it wasn’t for him, you would have been in a psychiatric ward by now.”
“Shut up, Bliss,” Shade ordered.
“No, I’m not going to shut up. I’ve loved that man for years! Fucking years! But he never once gave me an ounce of hope that I was anything except a pussy for him to get off in. For you, he works a job he hates, kisses your ass as if you’re a fucking princess, and do you appreciate it? No, you’re leaving him and taking his child, too. Go! You don’t deserve him.”
“That’s enough, Bliss,” Winter said, stepping forward. “Lily, please stay with Beth or in town and think this over. Don’t be rash in making a decision.”
Lily stepped around her and kept walking; however, she turned around when Shade kept following her.
“Stop! You can’t change my mind. I’m leaving!” Lily screamed at him.
“I know. I won’t stop you from leaving, but I’m coming with you.”
“No, you’re not! Our marriage is over, I’m going to file for a divorce…” She twisted her hands together.
“Then take off my ring, I’m surprised you’re not throwing it at me. You like to throw things when you’re mad, so why aren’t you throwing my ring?”
Lily lips trembled as she turned to go back down the path. “Go away!”
“Where you go, I will go,” Shade repeated. “I won’t break my vows to you. I promised.” Shade stared at her, seeing the tears well in her tortured eyes.
She fell to her knees, crying while holding her stomach as she rocked back and forth.
“Oh, God, help me. Please, help me. I can’t do this,” she prayed.
Shade crouched on his knees beside her without touching her. “What can you not do, Lily?”
“Leave you.” Lily buried her face in her hands, crying helplessly. “I told her I wouldn’t even after she told me all about you and showed me proof. I told her I wouldn’t. She showed me your military records, and she told me Digger and Georgia were both killed by a sniper.”
