Shadow Bound
Page 96
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“But you didn’t,” I said, when understanding surfaced with sudden brilliant clarity. “Ian and I clicked in spite of your involvement, not because of it, and you hate that. You’re threatened by it, and that’s why you’re trying to tear us apart.”
Jake stood and pulled me up by one arm, then leaned in to growl directly into my ear, and if I hadn’t known he wasn’t allowed to touch me, I might have missed the flare of pain behind his eyes. “If you don’t watch your mouth, you might find yourself in another bed, performing a similar function for someone else who needs to be reminded that nothing and no one comes before the syndicate.”
“Do it,” Julia said, and the eager cruelty in her voice made me flinch. “Give her to someone else. She needs to be reminded who’s the boss around here.”
I held my breath, waiting for his decision, fighting the need to punch something.
Someone.
Julia.
Jake let me go and turned to her with a scowl, and I’d never seen him so close to losing his temper. “That was her reminder,” he snapped. “She knows who the boss is, and she knows that’s not you.”
Julia flushed, but kept her mouth shut. A lesson I probably should have noted.
“Bring him in,” Jake said. “I have a statement of intent already drafted and I want Holt here within the hour.”
“An hour?” My heart thudded in my ears, racing in panic. “I can’t. I don’t even know if he’s out of bed yet. I need more time.”
“Lies…” Julia hissed.
Jake glanced at me in surprise, and I cursed silently. Nothing in my contract actually forbade me from lying to him, but with Julia there, I wouldn’t get away with it. I’d known better, but panic made me foolish and rash. I’d never been more afraid of anything than of signing Ian and losing him. Of seeing him every day, but not being allowed to touch him.
In that moment, facing monumental loss, I realized that I could love him. I might already. Either way I could no more lose him than I could lose Kenley.
I couldn’t let this happen.
“One hour,” Jake repeated, angry now. “He will sign, then you’re done with him.”
“You can throw women at him, but he won’t touch them and he won’t forget about me,” I said, rage burning deep inside me, fueled by my terror at the thought of losing Ian. “And you can send me to whoever you want, but I won’t fucking do it. I won’t bring Ian in, either. If he wants to sign on his own, fine, but I won’t be the one who hands him the damn pen. I want no part of it. I’ll kill myself first.”
Everyone had a limit, and Jake had just found mine.
“She means it,” Julia said, her eyes flashing in anticipation.
“Well, she’s wrong.” Jake slid off his desk and onto his feet again, and he stepped so close I could smell the coffee on his breath. But I held my ground. “You won’t kill yourself and you will bring Ian Holt in for the same reason you do everything else I tell you to. To keep your sister safe.”
I glared back at him, my fists clenching and unclenching at my sides. Viewed through the red-tinted lenses of my own rage, everything suddenly seemed so clear. So simple.
“That threat won’t work anymore. You already said I’m expendable.” Kenley would be fine without me. Jake still needed her.
“You aren’t afraid to die?” His gaze searched mine from a couple of inches away, and I stared back, letting him see the truth.
“There are days I fucking wish for death, Jake. Whether it comes from your hand or mine matters less every second, and your threat to kill me is starting to sound more like a promise.”
His brows rose in interest, and he glanced at Julia, who nodded to confirm the truth in my statements, and her cruel smile was reflected on her brother’s face. “Lia, go get Kenley Daniels and find a cell in the basement for her.”
My pulse spiked painfully, but I refused to let my fear show. “That won’t work.” Why hadn’t I seen it before? “If you’re going to have her tortured anyway, what’s her motivation to keep sealing bindings for you? Resistance pain doesn’t seem so bad, when your whole world is pain.”
Jake’s smile gave me chills. “I’m not going to have her tortured. I’m going to have you tortured, and she’s going to watch. How do you think your sweet little sister will react to seeing you beaten and humiliated, knowing there’s nothing she can do to stop it? Do you think she’ll still be psychologically stable after several days of hearing her only sister scream? Do you think she’ll ever forgive herself for not being able to protect you like you protected her?”
I closed my eyes, horror rolling through me, deeper with every word he spoke. In six years, I’d never seen Jake Tower bluff. He would do it, just because I’d pissed him off. And he was right—even if I survived another stint in the basement, Kenley couldn’t, even if no one laid a hand on her.
And he wouldn’t let me die. There would be no out for me, and there would be no recovery for her. There was only one way to stop Tower from signing Ian, caging Kenley, and putting me back where I’d sworn I’d never go again.
We had to run. Even if we got caught. Even if we didn’t get very far in the first place. Even if we spent the rest of our lives traipsing from one shadow to the next in search of peace.
“Stop,” I said, when Jake waved Julia toward the door, on her way to send for Kenley. “I’ll bring Ian in. Leave my sister out of this.”
Jake stood and pulled me up by one arm, then leaned in to growl directly into my ear, and if I hadn’t known he wasn’t allowed to touch me, I might have missed the flare of pain behind his eyes. “If you don’t watch your mouth, you might find yourself in another bed, performing a similar function for someone else who needs to be reminded that nothing and no one comes before the syndicate.”
“Do it,” Julia said, and the eager cruelty in her voice made me flinch. “Give her to someone else. She needs to be reminded who’s the boss around here.”
I held my breath, waiting for his decision, fighting the need to punch something.
Someone.
Julia.
Jake let me go and turned to her with a scowl, and I’d never seen him so close to losing his temper. “That was her reminder,” he snapped. “She knows who the boss is, and she knows that’s not you.”
Julia flushed, but kept her mouth shut. A lesson I probably should have noted.
“Bring him in,” Jake said. “I have a statement of intent already drafted and I want Holt here within the hour.”
“An hour?” My heart thudded in my ears, racing in panic. “I can’t. I don’t even know if he’s out of bed yet. I need more time.”
“Lies…” Julia hissed.
Jake glanced at me in surprise, and I cursed silently. Nothing in my contract actually forbade me from lying to him, but with Julia there, I wouldn’t get away with it. I’d known better, but panic made me foolish and rash. I’d never been more afraid of anything than of signing Ian and losing him. Of seeing him every day, but not being allowed to touch him.
In that moment, facing monumental loss, I realized that I could love him. I might already. Either way I could no more lose him than I could lose Kenley.
I couldn’t let this happen.
“One hour,” Jake repeated, angry now. “He will sign, then you’re done with him.”
“You can throw women at him, but he won’t touch them and he won’t forget about me,” I said, rage burning deep inside me, fueled by my terror at the thought of losing Ian. “And you can send me to whoever you want, but I won’t fucking do it. I won’t bring Ian in, either. If he wants to sign on his own, fine, but I won’t be the one who hands him the damn pen. I want no part of it. I’ll kill myself first.”
Everyone had a limit, and Jake had just found mine.
“She means it,” Julia said, her eyes flashing in anticipation.
“Well, she’s wrong.” Jake slid off his desk and onto his feet again, and he stepped so close I could smell the coffee on his breath. But I held my ground. “You won’t kill yourself and you will bring Ian Holt in for the same reason you do everything else I tell you to. To keep your sister safe.”
I glared back at him, my fists clenching and unclenching at my sides. Viewed through the red-tinted lenses of my own rage, everything suddenly seemed so clear. So simple.
“That threat won’t work anymore. You already said I’m expendable.” Kenley would be fine without me. Jake still needed her.
“You aren’t afraid to die?” His gaze searched mine from a couple of inches away, and I stared back, letting him see the truth.
“There are days I fucking wish for death, Jake. Whether it comes from your hand or mine matters less every second, and your threat to kill me is starting to sound more like a promise.”
His brows rose in interest, and he glanced at Julia, who nodded to confirm the truth in my statements, and her cruel smile was reflected on her brother’s face. “Lia, go get Kenley Daniels and find a cell in the basement for her.”
My pulse spiked painfully, but I refused to let my fear show. “That won’t work.” Why hadn’t I seen it before? “If you’re going to have her tortured anyway, what’s her motivation to keep sealing bindings for you? Resistance pain doesn’t seem so bad, when your whole world is pain.”
Jake’s smile gave me chills. “I’m not going to have her tortured. I’m going to have you tortured, and she’s going to watch. How do you think your sweet little sister will react to seeing you beaten and humiliated, knowing there’s nothing she can do to stop it? Do you think she’ll still be psychologically stable after several days of hearing her only sister scream? Do you think she’ll ever forgive herself for not being able to protect you like you protected her?”
I closed my eyes, horror rolling through me, deeper with every word he spoke. In six years, I’d never seen Jake Tower bluff. He would do it, just because I’d pissed him off. And he was right—even if I survived another stint in the basement, Kenley couldn’t, even if no one laid a hand on her.
And he wouldn’t let me die. There would be no out for me, and there would be no recovery for her. There was only one way to stop Tower from signing Ian, caging Kenley, and putting me back where I’d sworn I’d never go again.
We had to run. Even if we got caught. Even if we didn’t get very far in the first place. Even if we spent the rest of our lives traipsing from one shadow to the next in search of peace.
“Stop,” I said, when Jake waved Julia toward the door, on her way to send for Kenley. “I’ll bring Ian in. Leave my sister out of this.”