Shadow Rider
Page 73
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Her breath hissed out. She braced herself to meet his eyes because she knew she had to comply with his command. He wouldn’t let her go until she did. She didn’t want to see pity there. Or compassion. She slowly forced her gaze up his chest to his strong jaw, that beautiful mouth, his aristocratic nose, and finally, finally, to his amazing blue eyes. At once she couldn’t look away. Captured. Held prisoner there. Right in the depth of all that blue. Her breath caught in her throat. Not pity. Definitely not pity. Desire burned there. Hot and raw. Possession. Primal and a little savage.
“Dolce cuore, you’re a runner. You’ve gotten in the habit of taking off when things get too hot. I’m not easy. I’ll never be easy. I’ll own you. You won’t have one moment when I’m not aware of where you are and what you’re doing. That’s who I am. I’ll always be that man. You have to be certain you’re going to stick with me no matter what, because once I make you mine, once your body belongs to me, there’s no taking it back. Not ever. You have to know what you’re committing to.”
She shook her head. “Don’t say things like that, Stefano. I read the magazines and you had sex a thousand times with a thousand women. They can’t all belong to you.”
“It was sex, Francesca. I fucked them because I needed release and I like to fuck.” He ignored her wince and continued. “I didn’t bring them home. They weren’t ever going to live with me. Or know me. Or know anything about me. I didn’t claim them in front of my entire family or my neighborhood. None of those women belonged to me. I didn’t want them for more than a few hours. We used each other—that was it.”
Francesca bit down hard on the side of her lip, her heart pounding. She could barely believe what she was hearing. Somehow, she was different to him from all those other beautiful, sophisticated women? More to him than models? Heiresses? Actresses? The rich and beautiful?
“My life is fucked up, Francesca. It was from the moment I was born. I have no choice in what I do. I was born into a family business, trained for it, and have people depending on me. My life has never been my own. I’ve got all the money in the world, and nothing that I want. Until you. I want you. You’re what I want for myself.”
She curled her fingers tighter around his biceps, afraid if she didn’t hold on she would fall. The things he said made her weak with desire. There was stark honesty in his voice—raw emotion on his face.
“I’m not a nice man, bambina. I’m never going to be that nice man. If you give yourself to me, you’re entering into a world that will scare you. You’ll have to trust me implicitly. Trust that always, always, before any other, I will have your back. I’ll keep you safe. I’ll make you happy and give you the world. It isn’t going to be casual sex, Francesca. You give me your body and that’s it. I won’t let you take it back.”
“You’re scaring me.” He was. The part about his life, entering his world and coming right out and saying his world would scare her, she was afraid of what that meant. He wasn’t being dramatic, or embellishing; he was stating facts, she could tell.
“You should be scared. I want you to see me, Francesca. The real me. The man you will be spending your life with. No illusions. I’m ruthless and implacable. I get the job done with whatever means necessary. I keep what’s mine. I want children. A family. A woman who will love those children and get up with them in the middle of the night and comfort them when they’re upset. I want that woman for myself and for my children.”
He had said he got up with his sister when she had nightmares and he was the one who made her hot chocolate and sat up with her. Not his mother. Stefano had done that.
“I’ll try to curb the way I am and give you some room, but I know myself. You’re already my world. I think about you day and night. I worry about you. You’ll convince yourself that once the threat to you is over and Barry Anthon has been eliminated from your life, I’ll lighten up. But I won’t, dolce cuore, I won’t. I’ll always need to know you’re safe and that when I say something to you, you’ll listen.”
She heard the regret, the sorrow in his voice. As if she couldn’t ever love him because of who he had become. What he’d been born and bred for. Whatever his life was, whatever his family business was, he wasn’t giving that up. Not for her. Not for anyone. He would expect her to live with whatever it was. He would expect her to live with the rules of his world, the ones he laid down.
I’m not easy. I’ll never be easy. I’ll own you. You won’t have one moment when I’m not aware of where you are and what you’re doing. That’s who I am. I’ll always be that man. His declaration echoed through her mind. On that thought came the next—that she would always know she was safe, that her children were safe. “Safe” meant the world when you hadn’t had it.
“Dolce cuore, you’re a runner. You’ve gotten in the habit of taking off when things get too hot. I’m not easy. I’ll never be easy. I’ll own you. You won’t have one moment when I’m not aware of where you are and what you’re doing. That’s who I am. I’ll always be that man. You have to be certain you’re going to stick with me no matter what, because once I make you mine, once your body belongs to me, there’s no taking it back. Not ever. You have to know what you’re committing to.”
She shook her head. “Don’t say things like that, Stefano. I read the magazines and you had sex a thousand times with a thousand women. They can’t all belong to you.”
“It was sex, Francesca. I fucked them because I needed release and I like to fuck.” He ignored her wince and continued. “I didn’t bring them home. They weren’t ever going to live with me. Or know me. Or know anything about me. I didn’t claim them in front of my entire family or my neighborhood. None of those women belonged to me. I didn’t want them for more than a few hours. We used each other—that was it.”
Francesca bit down hard on the side of her lip, her heart pounding. She could barely believe what she was hearing. Somehow, she was different to him from all those other beautiful, sophisticated women? More to him than models? Heiresses? Actresses? The rich and beautiful?
“My life is fucked up, Francesca. It was from the moment I was born. I have no choice in what I do. I was born into a family business, trained for it, and have people depending on me. My life has never been my own. I’ve got all the money in the world, and nothing that I want. Until you. I want you. You’re what I want for myself.”
She curled her fingers tighter around his biceps, afraid if she didn’t hold on she would fall. The things he said made her weak with desire. There was stark honesty in his voice—raw emotion on his face.
“I’m not a nice man, bambina. I’m never going to be that nice man. If you give yourself to me, you’re entering into a world that will scare you. You’ll have to trust me implicitly. Trust that always, always, before any other, I will have your back. I’ll keep you safe. I’ll make you happy and give you the world. It isn’t going to be casual sex, Francesca. You give me your body and that’s it. I won’t let you take it back.”
“You’re scaring me.” He was. The part about his life, entering his world and coming right out and saying his world would scare her, she was afraid of what that meant. He wasn’t being dramatic, or embellishing; he was stating facts, she could tell.
“You should be scared. I want you to see me, Francesca. The real me. The man you will be spending your life with. No illusions. I’m ruthless and implacable. I get the job done with whatever means necessary. I keep what’s mine. I want children. A family. A woman who will love those children and get up with them in the middle of the night and comfort them when they’re upset. I want that woman for myself and for my children.”
He had said he got up with his sister when she had nightmares and he was the one who made her hot chocolate and sat up with her. Not his mother. Stefano had done that.
“I’ll try to curb the way I am and give you some room, but I know myself. You’re already my world. I think about you day and night. I worry about you. You’ll convince yourself that once the threat to you is over and Barry Anthon has been eliminated from your life, I’ll lighten up. But I won’t, dolce cuore, I won’t. I’ll always need to know you’re safe and that when I say something to you, you’ll listen.”
She heard the regret, the sorrow in his voice. As if she couldn’t ever love him because of who he had become. What he’d been born and bred for. Whatever his life was, whatever his family business was, he wasn’t giving that up. Not for her. Not for anyone. He would expect her to live with whatever it was. He would expect her to live with the rules of his world, the ones he laid down.
I’m not easy. I’ll never be easy. I’ll own you. You won’t have one moment when I’m not aware of where you are and what you’re doing. That’s who I am. I’ll always be that man. His declaration echoed through her mind. On that thought came the next—that she would always know she was safe, that her children were safe. “Safe” meant the world when you hadn’t had it.
