Shadowfever
Page 153
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Ry-Os blaming the Druids. Saying they mustve got the chant wrong.
The Scots are blaming Ry-O. Saying evil cant trap evil.
Ry-O laughs and asks what the feck they are.
Vlanes pissed at everybody. Says were all inept, puny mortals.
I snicker. Dude, got that right. I sigh, dreamy-like. Think Vlanes got the hots for me. Wanna ask Mac what she
I rip open a protein bar and munch it, scowling. What was I thinking? As if Im ever gonna ask Mac anything again. I shoulda hunted those feckers that killed Alina. Shoulda got rid of em. She never woulda known. I smile, thinking about killing em. I scowl, thinking about how I didnt.
Dither much, kid?
Voice like knives. I stiffen and try to freeze-frame out, but the fecks got my arm and he aint letting go.
Goff me, I spit around a mouthful of chocolate and peanut, thinking, Who uses words like that? But I know who it is, and he worries me bout as much as the Book does. Ry-O, I say, real cool.
He smiles like I think Death must smile, all fangs and hard eyes that aint never held an ounce of
I breathe in sharp-like without meaning to, stead of swallowing, and choke on peanuts. Throat squinches up, cant breathe, start thumping my chest.
He dressing for Halloween? Aint here yet.
Pounding my sternum aint gonna work and I know it. I need the Heimlich but cant do it on myself less he lets go of me so I can slam myself into the ledge. I use superstrength to yank my arm free, practically pull it outta the socket.
Hes still got me. Aint goin nowhere.
He manacles my wrist with long fingers and studies me. Watching me choke. Cold fecker. Watching me foam, my eyes get wild. Im drooling! Dudethis is so not cool.
Gonna die up here on a water tower, choking on a fecking protein bar. Topple off, splat to the pavement. Everybodys gonna see.
Mega OMalley croaks like a Joe!
No fecking way.
Just when Im getting light-headed, he slams a fist into my back and I spit out a mangled mouthful. Cant breathe for a minute. Then screech it in. Air aint never been sweeter.
He smiles. His teeth are normal. I stare at him. Mind playing tricks? I been watching too many movies.
Got a job for you.
No way, I say instantly. Aint falling in with his crowd. Got the feeling you dont get to fall back out. You just fall. Til you hit bottom. Aint going that low. Got trubs of my own.
Didnt ask, kid.
Dont work for nobody calls me kid.
Let her go.
I screw my face up in a scowl. Who sent the party invites for my watertower? Im pissed. Whatever happened to a little privacy?
One of the Keltars oozes from the shadows. Only seen him from a distance. Dont know how either of em got so close to me without me knowing. Freaks me. I got supersenses and they snuck up on me.
Scot laughs. But he dont look like a Scot no more. He looks sorta like I whistle and shake my head sympathetically. Hes going Unseelie Prince.
They forget me. Busy looking at each other. Ry-O folds his arms. The Scot does the same.
I take advantage of the moment. Aint sticking around to find out what job Ry-O has in mind for me. Never wanna know. And if some dude turned dark side thinks hes gonna score redemption playing avenging angel for me, I got news for him. I dont want it.
My ticket to hells already been punched, bags on board, steam whistle blowing.
Im fine with it. Like knowing zactly where I stand.
I freeze-frame out.
No night. No day. No time.
We get lost in each other.
Something happens to me down there in the underground. Im reborn. I feel peaceful for the first time in my life. Im no longer bipolar. Theres nothing Im hiding from myself.
Being afraid is debilitating. Ill take truth over fear of it any day.
I am the Unseelie King. I am the Unseelie King.
I say it over and over in my mind.
I accept it.
I dont know how or why and may never, but at least now Ive looked hard at the darkest part of me.
It really was the only explanation all along.
Its almost funny in a way. The whole time I was so worried about what everyone around me might be, I was the biggest bad of all.
That dark, glassy lake Ive got is him. Me. Us. Thats why it always terrified me. Somehow I managed to partition my psyche and store him away. Me. The parts of me that werent born twenty-three years ago, if I actually was born.
I cant think of any scenario that explains how I came to be what I am. But the truth of my memory is indisputable.
I did stand in that laboratory, nearly a million years ago. I did create the Hallows and I did love the concubine and I did give birth to the Unseelie. That was all me.
Maybe thats why Barrons and I cant resist each other. We both have our monsters. You really think evil is a choice? I ask.
Everything is. Each moment. Each day.
I didnt sleep with Darroc. But I would have.
Irrelevant. He moves inside me. Im here now.
I was going to seduce the shortcut out of him so I could get the Book. Then I was going to unmake this world and replace it with another, so I could have you back.
The Scots are blaming Ry-O. Saying evil cant trap evil.
Ry-O laughs and asks what the feck they are.
Vlanes pissed at everybody. Says were all inept, puny mortals.
I snicker. Dude, got that right. I sigh, dreamy-like. Think Vlanes got the hots for me. Wanna ask Mac what she
I rip open a protein bar and munch it, scowling. What was I thinking? As if Im ever gonna ask Mac anything again. I shoulda hunted those feckers that killed Alina. Shoulda got rid of em. She never woulda known. I smile, thinking about killing em. I scowl, thinking about how I didnt.
Dither much, kid?
Voice like knives. I stiffen and try to freeze-frame out, but the fecks got my arm and he aint letting go.
Goff me, I spit around a mouthful of chocolate and peanut, thinking, Who uses words like that? But I know who it is, and he worries me bout as much as the Book does. Ry-O, I say, real cool.
He smiles like I think Death must smile, all fangs and hard eyes that aint never held an ounce of
I breathe in sharp-like without meaning to, stead of swallowing, and choke on peanuts. Throat squinches up, cant breathe, start thumping my chest.
He dressing for Halloween? Aint here yet.
Pounding my sternum aint gonna work and I know it. I need the Heimlich but cant do it on myself less he lets go of me so I can slam myself into the ledge. I use superstrength to yank my arm free, practically pull it outta the socket.
Hes still got me. Aint goin nowhere.
He manacles my wrist with long fingers and studies me. Watching me choke. Cold fecker. Watching me foam, my eyes get wild. Im drooling! Dudethis is so not cool.
Gonna die up here on a water tower, choking on a fecking protein bar. Topple off, splat to the pavement. Everybodys gonna see.
Mega OMalley croaks like a Joe!
No fecking way.
Just when Im getting light-headed, he slams a fist into my back and I spit out a mangled mouthful. Cant breathe for a minute. Then screech it in. Air aint never been sweeter.
He smiles. His teeth are normal. I stare at him. Mind playing tricks? I been watching too many movies.
Got a job for you.
No way, I say instantly. Aint falling in with his crowd. Got the feeling you dont get to fall back out. You just fall. Til you hit bottom. Aint going that low. Got trubs of my own.
Didnt ask, kid.
Dont work for nobody calls me kid.
Let her go.
I screw my face up in a scowl. Who sent the party invites for my watertower? Im pissed. Whatever happened to a little privacy?
One of the Keltars oozes from the shadows. Only seen him from a distance. Dont know how either of em got so close to me without me knowing. Freaks me. I got supersenses and they snuck up on me.
Scot laughs. But he dont look like a Scot no more. He looks sorta like I whistle and shake my head sympathetically. Hes going Unseelie Prince.
They forget me. Busy looking at each other. Ry-O folds his arms. The Scot does the same.
I take advantage of the moment. Aint sticking around to find out what job Ry-O has in mind for me. Never wanna know. And if some dude turned dark side thinks hes gonna score redemption playing avenging angel for me, I got news for him. I dont want it.
My ticket to hells already been punched, bags on board, steam whistle blowing.
Im fine with it. Like knowing zactly where I stand.
I freeze-frame out.
No night. No day. No time.
We get lost in each other.
Something happens to me down there in the underground. Im reborn. I feel peaceful for the first time in my life. Im no longer bipolar. Theres nothing Im hiding from myself.
Being afraid is debilitating. Ill take truth over fear of it any day.
I am the Unseelie King. I am the Unseelie King.
I say it over and over in my mind.
I accept it.
I dont know how or why and may never, but at least now Ive looked hard at the darkest part of me.
It really was the only explanation all along.
Its almost funny in a way. The whole time I was so worried about what everyone around me might be, I was the biggest bad of all.
That dark, glassy lake Ive got is him. Me. Us. Thats why it always terrified me. Somehow I managed to partition my psyche and store him away. Me. The parts of me that werent born twenty-three years ago, if I actually was born.
I cant think of any scenario that explains how I came to be what I am. But the truth of my memory is indisputable.
I did stand in that laboratory, nearly a million years ago. I did create the Hallows and I did love the concubine and I did give birth to the Unseelie. That was all me.
Maybe thats why Barrons and I cant resist each other. We both have our monsters. You really think evil is a choice? I ask.
Everything is. Each moment. Each day.
I didnt sleep with Darroc. But I would have.
Irrelevant. He moves inside me. Im here now.
I was going to seduce the shortcut out of him so I could get the Book. Then I was going to unmake this world and replace it with another, so I could have you back.
