Shadows in the Silence
Page 102
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“I know better now,” I told him. “Anything but obedience is wrong.”
He shook his head, his gaze hardening. “You don’t believe that.”
“I am an archangel,” I said. “I must obey—”
“And give up happiness?” he asked, cutting me off. “I know you remember what it felt like to be human. You can’t deny that.”
I took a deep breath, summoning my courage. “I don’t deny it. My humanity haunts me.”
“Then come back to me,” he begged. “With every second that passes I see a little more of Ellie in your eyes.”
I tried not to look at him, words sputtering out of me like water. “We are not supposed to feel. To feel is to disobey.”
“That isn’t you talking,” he said. “I want her back. I want Ellie back.”
“This is who I am, Guardian.”
“No. She’s still in there.” He grabbed me by the wrist and yanked me against him, startling me.
“Let go of me,” I ordered. “What are you doing?”
His firefly eyes, all green flames and shadows, seared into mine. “I’m waking you up.”
I gasped as he dipped his head and kissed me hard, opening his mouth against mine and crushing me into his body. I pressed my hands into his chest, feeling his hot skin beneath my fingertips, and I knew I should push him away, but I didn’t want to. His kiss brought memories raging to the surface of my mind, thoughts I couldn’t experience without…without feeling with a part of me that was deeper than my skin, a part of me that ached. I felt happiness and comfort and a wanting for him, every inch of him. I felt this human soul stir and cry out, beating at the walls that had caged it in when I’d become an archangel again. My human soul was the core of this body, my archangel power just an extension—something alien. I had to accept what I was now: an archangel with a human soul. I was happy, and that made me stronger, more determined. I was a puzzle made of pieces that didn’t belong, but when he touched me, those pieces melded together with perfection, as if they’d always been meant to. As if he’d always been meant to touch me.
He pulled away with a deep breath, his eyes even brighter than they were moments ago. They scattered over every inch of my face and returned to linger on my lips before his gaze met mine, his fingers twining through my hair. “Say my name,” he ordered, his voice low and husky.
I swallowed hard. “Will.”
His jaw tightened and he shook his head. “No. Say my name like you know you love me. Like you remember what it feels like when I touch you. Like you remember what I feel like.”
I shut my eyes and remembered the heat of his skin on mine, the sound of his voice in the darkness, the sound of my own name on his lips whispered into my ear like a prayer.
A human tear rolled down my cheek and I wasn’t ashamed of it. “Will,” I breathed.
He smiled that familiar smile that was only ever for me, and I once again understood what beautiful meant. He was beautiful. The love I felt for him was beautiful. Will. My Will. Then he kissed me again and I lost myself in him.
32
I WATCHED THE MOON RISE OVER HAR MEGIDDO from my perch on the hill overlooking an expansive valley of green farmland, rich dark soil, and rock. I sat atop an ancient stone wall built into a ledge, one leg dangling over the edge, and I leaned onto my other knee. The stone was still warm from the day’s sun, and the ruins cast long, clawlike shadows in the silence. The scrub-covered hill was dotted with tall palms and fresh excavations uncovering layers upon layers of human civilization. Soon the hill would be dotted with blood as well.
Will came toward me, hopping over a low stone wall and jogging up a staircase carved into the rock. “They’re here,” he said.
I gazed ahead at a great shadow coming up the hill and I smiled, nodding in approval. Ava, Marcus, and Madeleine had returned, and with them, a legion of angelic reapers. My three friends came forward with the other angelic reapers serving as my generals, the elite. I recognized the faces of Berengar, Calix, and Evolet. A fiery-haired female staying close to Ava had to be Maeghan, her contact in Brussels.
“Ellie!” Marcus called. He looked tired and, in fact, they all did. “Did it work? Are you an angel?”
I answered by spreading my wings, tearing through the fabric of my shirt. Surprise lit their faces—some showing fear—their gazes running the length of my wings, spilling over the gleam of the feathers in the moonlight. only Madeleine looked upon me with sadness.
“Thank you for joining us,” I said to them.
Evolet flashed me a smile. “What can I say? You inspired me.”
“My lady,” Berengar murmured, and dropped to his knees. “Gabriel.”
The army of angelic reapers knelt to the ground, folding over like a wave breaking the beach. I surveyed them, friends and strangers who’d come here to perhaps die for our cause, and I stood up from my spot on the ledge. We were outnumbered two to one, but I knew that more than ratios and ready swords mattered in this battle. These soldiers had faith in me as their leader, and faith was what we needed to win.
“Rise,” I called out to them, and the sea of reapers returned to their feet, a thousand pairs of eyes like a rainbow of stars across the dark land. “I do not wish for tribute. I wish only for your faith in me. We have all come a long way to meet on this hill. Some of you may be afraid, and that is all right.”
I looked at Will below me on the ground, whose smile was quiet as he watched me.
He shook his head, his gaze hardening. “You don’t believe that.”
“I am an archangel,” I said. “I must obey—”
“And give up happiness?” he asked, cutting me off. “I know you remember what it felt like to be human. You can’t deny that.”
I took a deep breath, summoning my courage. “I don’t deny it. My humanity haunts me.”
“Then come back to me,” he begged. “With every second that passes I see a little more of Ellie in your eyes.”
I tried not to look at him, words sputtering out of me like water. “We are not supposed to feel. To feel is to disobey.”
“That isn’t you talking,” he said. “I want her back. I want Ellie back.”
“This is who I am, Guardian.”
“No. She’s still in there.” He grabbed me by the wrist and yanked me against him, startling me.
“Let go of me,” I ordered. “What are you doing?”
His firefly eyes, all green flames and shadows, seared into mine. “I’m waking you up.”
I gasped as he dipped his head and kissed me hard, opening his mouth against mine and crushing me into his body. I pressed my hands into his chest, feeling his hot skin beneath my fingertips, and I knew I should push him away, but I didn’t want to. His kiss brought memories raging to the surface of my mind, thoughts I couldn’t experience without…without feeling with a part of me that was deeper than my skin, a part of me that ached. I felt happiness and comfort and a wanting for him, every inch of him. I felt this human soul stir and cry out, beating at the walls that had caged it in when I’d become an archangel again. My human soul was the core of this body, my archangel power just an extension—something alien. I had to accept what I was now: an archangel with a human soul. I was happy, and that made me stronger, more determined. I was a puzzle made of pieces that didn’t belong, but when he touched me, those pieces melded together with perfection, as if they’d always been meant to. As if he’d always been meant to touch me.
He pulled away with a deep breath, his eyes even brighter than they were moments ago. They scattered over every inch of my face and returned to linger on my lips before his gaze met mine, his fingers twining through my hair. “Say my name,” he ordered, his voice low and husky.
I swallowed hard. “Will.”
His jaw tightened and he shook his head. “No. Say my name like you know you love me. Like you remember what it feels like when I touch you. Like you remember what I feel like.”
I shut my eyes and remembered the heat of his skin on mine, the sound of his voice in the darkness, the sound of my own name on his lips whispered into my ear like a prayer.
A human tear rolled down my cheek and I wasn’t ashamed of it. “Will,” I breathed.
He smiled that familiar smile that was only ever for me, and I once again understood what beautiful meant. He was beautiful. The love I felt for him was beautiful. Will. My Will. Then he kissed me again and I lost myself in him.
32
I WATCHED THE MOON RISE OVER HAR MEGIDDO from my perch on the hill overlooking an expansive valley of green farmland, rich dark soil, and rock. I sat atop an ancient stone wall built into a ledge, one leg dangling over the edge, and I leaned onto my other knee. The stone was still warm from the day’s sun, and the ruins cast long, clawlike shadows in the silence. The scrub-covered hill was dotted with tall palms and fresh excavations uncovering layers upon layers of human civilization. Soon the hill would be dotted with blood as well.
Will came toward me, hopping over a low stone wall and jogging up a staircase carved into the rock. “They’re here,” he said.
I gazed ahead at a great shadow coming up the hill and I smiled, nodding in approval. Ava, Marcus, and Madeleine had returned, and with them, a legion of angelic reapers. My three friends came forward with the other angelic reapers serving as my generals, the elite. I recognized the faces of Berengar, Calix, and Evolet. A fiery-haired female staying close to Ava had to be Maeghan, her contact in Brussels.
“Ellie!” Marcus called. He looked tired and, in fact, they all did. “Did it work? Are you an angel?”
I answered by spreading my wings, tearing through the fabric of my shirt. Surprise lit their faces—some showing fear—their gazes running the length of my wings, spilling over the gleam of the feathers in the moonlight. only Madeleine looked upon me with sadness.
“Thank you for joining us,” I said to them.
Evolet flashed me a smile. “What can I say? You inspired me.”
“My lady,” Berengar murmured, and dropped to his knees. “Gabriel.”
The army of angelic reapers knelt to the ground, folding over like a wave breaking the beach. I surveyed them, friends and strangers who’d come here to perhaps die for our cause, and I stood up from my spot on the ledge. We were outnumbered two to one, but I knew that more than ratios and ready swords mattered in this battle. These soldiers had faith in me as their leader, and faith was what we needed to win.
“Rise,” I called out to them, and the sea of reapers returned to their feet, a thousand pairs of eyes like a rainbow of stars across the dark land. “I do not wish for tribute. I wish only for your faith in me. We have all come a long way to meet on this hill. Some of you may be afraid, and that is all right.”
I looked at Will below me on the ground, whose smile was quiet as he watched me.
