Shadows in the Silence
Page 53
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He stopped abruptly, just as he had when he’d driven me home from that stupid college party and I’d tried to seduce him. Only this time, he didn’t move away from me. His next kiss was light and brief, unsure, and I sobered up instantly. He stared at me, searching every inch of my face and body. His hand went through my hair and cupped my cheek, thumbing my bottom lip.
“I love you,” I said against his thumb, kissing it once.
He was suddenly breathless. “I’ve loved you forever.”
His lips found the place under my jaw, that ultra-soft skin there, and I tilted my head back as fire raged through me. His free hand rested on my hip, his thumb making little circles on the point there. We stood there shakily, stuck again at that place that always caught us, my body trembling nervously against his. There wasn’t any going back now. He couldn’t walk away from me this time. He couldn’t tell me no and tear his eyes away from mine. Not again. So I made a move.
My hands slid across his skin and I pulled the hem of his shirt up. He stood frozen for too long until he finally, slowly, raised his arms and I pulled his shirt over his head and touched him, the muscle sculpted over centuries of war. He was beautiful. For a moment I forgot to breathe. Breathe, I told myself.
Oxygen brought my mind back to where my body was—against his. He dipped his head and kissed my lips, sweetly this time, with careful concentration. I squeezed my eyes shut as so much emotion poured through me in that instant. Desire had numbed my thoughts, but with that kiss, I suddenly remembered that I’d loved him for centuries, the way he’d loved me. I cursed myself for forgetting how deeply I cared for him and for forgetting his face and his name when I returned to this world as Ellie Monroe.
“We don’t have to do this,” he whispered. “We can stop.”
“No,” I said quickly. I took a breath to steady my voice. “I don’t want to stop.”
He nodded gently and his mouth returned to mine. Expert hands traced along my spine, sending shivers to my toes, erasing my doubt. I raised my own arms over my head, inviting him in, and he slid my tank top off. I fought my nerves, trembling all over, as I allowed him to see me. He only paused for a few moments, gazing down at me, before he pressed himself to my body and kissed me fiercely. When his bare skin brushed against mine, I took in a sharp breath and trembled. I could feel how strong his heart beat in his chest, echoing my own pounding pulse. It was alien to feel someone’s bare skin against my own, even if it was his—a body I knew as well as my own, or at least I’d thought so. He pulled back just a little and looked into my eyes. His lips were parted and my own were swollen with his kisses.
“Are you sure?” he whispered, his eyes moving over every inch of my face. His gaze was heavy, as if he felt too much all at once for him to contain it.
I answered by taking his hand and leading him to his bed. He lay down with me, his body hovering over mine. He’d never touched me more gently than he touched me now. He moved slowly and his gaze was glued to mine as he shimmied my shorts over my hips and down my legs. The hesitation in his touch had vanished completely, but he was no less tender. One of his hands slid down my side and around the back of my thigh, tugging me closer to him. He kissed my mouth and his lips moved southward, kissing and touching me in places I never knew could experience such things. Time moved in waves of consciousness…moments where I was completely aware of where I was and then other moments where I slipped away and knew nothing at all but a beautiful sense of physical touch. The pain, when that moment finally came, was so brief, so fleeting, that as soon as it had passed, what rushed through me in its stead consumed my senses. Every part of him moved as gracefully as he did in battle, just as fluid and just as precise. Each time our eyes met, the connection was so fierce that it took my breath away. After everything we’d been through together, after hundreds of years, I had never imagined we could find an intimacy stronger than we’d felt before.
Then, even as he kissed me and his body moved with mine, an unwanted spark of worry made me wonder if things would change between us after tonight. Had they already changed between us when he’d kissed me for the first time back in the wreckage of the warehouse? But nothing about this was wrong. It was beautiful. I felt more loved and alive than ever before. After spending so long feeling more and more inhuman as my divine power claimed me, he brought me back. The battles I fought and the blood I shed threatened to unravel my humanity, which I clung to so desperately, but he held me together with ease. With every kiss and touch, he saved me, brought me closer to Earth, to him. I’d never felt more human. I’d never made a more right decision. It seemed like we’d been falling through the sky for centuries and we’d found the ground at last. His soul had been so beaten and torn and aching to return home. For him, I was home. And for me, he was the tide carrying me there.
Hours later, I woke with a gentle intake of air and my eyes fluttered open. The room was still dark and I was still lying in Will’s bed, naked, with only the sheets covering us both, and we were tangled in each other’s arms. He lay on his side facing me with his eyes closed. I touched his bottom lip and the back of my finger traced his jaw up to his ear. The silver cross and chain around his neck were splayed across the pillow. He made no sound other than his long, gentle breaths as he slept. He huffed and rolled onto his back and let out a soft snore.
I wrapped my hand around his cheek and kissed his neck. His lips curved into that secret smile of his and he groggily stirred out of sleep. Before he was fully awake, I kissed his throat again, barely able to keep the silly laughter from my lips, and then I kissed his chest, his shoulder, his cheek, his temple, and his lips at last. He wrapped a hand around the back of my head and tugged me closer to deepen the kiss. I drew away, leaning over him, and my hair fell over his face. His eyes were bright, gazing up into my mine, with a wonder and satisfaction that I’d only ever dreamed of seeing in them.
“I love you,” I said against his thumb, kissing it once.
He was suddenly breathless. “I’ve loved you forever.”
His lips found the place under my jaw, that ultra-soft skin there, and I tilted my head back as fire raged through me. His free hand rested on my hip, his thumb making little circles on the point there. We stood there shakily, stuck again at that place that always caught us, my body trembling nervously against his. There wasn’t any going back now. He couldn’t walk away from me this time. He couldn’t tell me no and tear his eyes away from mine. Not again. So I made a move.
My hands slid across his skin and I pulled the hem of his shirt up. He stood frozen for too long until he finally, slowly, raised his arms and I pulled his shirt over his head and touched him, the muscle sculpted over centuries of war. He was beautiful. For a moment I forgot to breathe. Breathe, I told myself.
Oxygen brought my mind back to where my body was—against his. He dipped his head and kissed my lips, sweetly this time, with careful concentration. I squeezed my eyes shut as so much emotion poured through me in that instant. Desire had numbed my thoughts, but with that kiss, I suddenly remembered that I’d loved him for centuries, the way he’d loved me. I cursed myself for forgetting how deeply I cared for him and for forgetting his face and his name when I returned to this world as Ellie Monroe.
“We don’t have to do this,” he whispered. “We can stop.”
“No,” I said quickly. I took a breath to steady my voice. “I don’t want to stop.”
He nodded gently and his mouth returned to mine. Expert hands traced along my spine, sending shivers to my toes, erasing my doubt. I raised my own arms over my head, inviting him in, and he slid my tank top off. I fought my nerves, trembling all over, as I allowed him to see me. He only paused for a few moments, gazing down at me, before he pressed himself to my body and kissed me fiercely. When his bare skin brushed against mine, I took in a sharp breath and trembled. I could feel how strong his heart beat in his chest, echoing my own pounding pulse. It was alien to feel someone’s bare skin against my own, even if it was his—a body I knew as well as my own, or at least I’d thought so. He pulled back just a little and looked into my eyes. His lips were parted and my own were swollen with his kisses.
“Are you sure?” he whispered, his eyes moving over every inch of my face. His gaze was heavy, as if he felt too much all at once for him to contain it.
I answered by taking his hand and leading him to his bed. He lay down with me, his body hovering over mine. He’d never touched me more gently than he touched me now. He moved slowly and his gaze was glued to mine as he shimmied my shorts over my hips and down my legs. The hesitation in his touch had vanished completely, but he was no less tender. One of his hands slid down my side and around the back of my thigh, tugging me closer to him. He kissed my mouth and his lips moved southward, kissing and touching me in places I never knew could experience such things. Time moved in waves of consciousness…moments where I was completely aware of where I was and then other moments where I slipped away and knew nothing at all but a beautiful sense of physical touch. The pain, when that moment finally came, was so brief, so fleeting, that as soon as it had passed, what rushed through me in its stead consumed my senses. Every part of him moved as gracefully as he did in battle, just as fluid and just as precise. Each time our eyes met, the connection was so fierce that it took my breath away. After everything we’d been through together, after hundreds of years, I had never imagined we could find an intimacy stronger than we’d felt before.
Then, even as he kissed me and his body moved with mine, an unwanted spark of worry made me wonder if things would change between us after tonight. Had they already changed between us when he’d kissed me for the first time back in the wreckage of the warehouse? But nothing about this was wrong. It was beautiful. I felt more loved and alive than ever before. After spending so long feeling more and more inhuman as my divine power claimed me, he brought me back. The battles I fought and the blood I shed threatened to unravel my humanity, which I clung to so desperately, but he held me together with ease. With every kiss and touch, he saved me, brought me closer to Earth, to him. I’d never felt more human. I’d never made a more right decision. It seemed like we’d been falling through the sky for centuries and we’d found the ground at last. His soul had been so beaten and torn and aching to return home. For him, I was home. And for me, he was the tide carrying me there.
Hours later, I woke with a gentle intake of air and my eyes fluttered open. The room was still dark and I was still lying in Will’s bed, naked, with only the sheets covering us both, and we were tangled in each other’s arms. He lay on his side facing me with his eyes closed. I touched his bottom lip and the back of my finger traced his jaw up to his ear. The silver cross and chain around his neck were splayed across the pillow. He made no sound other than his long, gentle breaths as he slept. He huffed and rolled onto his back and let out a soft snore.
I wrapped my hand around his cheek and kissed his neck. His lips curved into that secret smile of his and he groggily stirred out of sleep. Before he was fully awake, I kissed his throat again, barely able to keep the silly laughter from my lips, and then I kissed his chest, his shoulder, his cheek, his temple, and his lips at last. He wrapped a hand around the back of my head and tugged me closer to deepen the kiss. I drew away, leaning over him, and my hair fell over his face. His eyes were bright, gazing up into my mine, with a wonder and satisfaction that I’d only ever dreamed of seeing in them.
