Shadows of Yesterday
Page 35
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If no one else had been set straight on Chad’s intentions, Leigh certainly had been.
Platters of prime steak were carried in from the charcoal pit outside the barn. They were accompanied by foil-wrapped baked potatoes and huge bowls of salad. Redwood picnic tables covered with paper tablecloths had been placed end-to-end in several rows. Leigh retrieved Sarah while Chad filled their plates.
The baby lay in Chad’s lap and thumped him in the stomach with her tiny feet until he would poke a bite of fluffy potato into her eager mouth.
There was much shouting, laughter, and boisterous teasing while everyone sacrificed table etiquette to having a good time. Leigh didn’t remember ever enjoying herself more and ate heartily. She and everyone else broke into spontaneous applause when the enormous birthday cake bearing over a hundred candles was wheeled out on a rolling table.
At her door, after they had seen a tired Sarah to bed, Chad stroked Leigh’s cheek. “You would fit right in,” he said. “I loved having you there with me tonight. I was proud to be with you. It wasn’t as if I were there with just another date. Everyone seemed to accept you as part of me. I wish you would.”
“You’re making it very hard for me.”
“Good. I want to wear you down, tear down your defenses.” He crushed her against him. “Marry me, Leigh.”
“Sometimes I think we can make it work, then…”
“Don’t think of the reasons it might not work. Think of all we have that’s right.”
“I know, I know. Believe me, I know. But there’s still your work, Chad. I’m not merely being stubborn. I honestly don’t know if I could ever cope with that.”
“Let’s give it a trial run,” he suggested softly. “I have to go out of town next week.” Her head came up and terror filled her eyes. “Not to a fire,” he assured her quickly. “I need to check out some equipment over in Louisiana. I’ll call you every night at ten o’clock. I promise. You can see what it would be like for me to be gone.”
She nodded. Maybe a trial run like this wasn’t a bad idea. Perhaps they both needed time to analyze their feelings. The sexual attraction between them couldn’t be denied, and when they were together that colored their better judgment. Apart, they might see things more clearly. “When do you have to leave?”
He grimaced. “Tomorrow.”
Her first impulse was to berate him for not telling her, to panic because she wouldn’t see him again before he left. But she had to start getting accustomed to such rapid partings. She smiled bravely, if a little shakily. “I’ll miss you,” she admitted. “You promise to call?”
He kissed her then, a kiss that promised more than a telephone call.
* * *
Had it not been a weekend, the days might have passed more quickly. As it was, Saturday and Sunday dragged by. Leigh went to the mall on Saturday on a flimsy excuse just to get out of the house. Even the difficulties involved in getting Sarah ready for an outing and carrying her stroller into the mall crowded with Christmas shoppers were worth the few hours her mind wasn’t directly targeted on Chad, though it was never far from thoughts of him. By the time she wearily carted Sarah and all her paraphernalia back into the house, Leigh realized just how handy it was to have a man around.
As promised, he called at exactly ten o’clock that night. Leigh had already put Sarah to bed and had taken a hot bath to make herself sleepy. She was lying in bed reading a book when the telephone rang. A split-second later she was holding the receiver to her ear. “Hello.” She didn’t pretend coyness. Pride took a back seat to the thrill of hearing his voice.
His “Hello, darling,” was like a soothing balm to her breathless anticipation.
After they exchanged banalities about his flight to rural Louisiana and the activities that had filled her day, he said, “I wish I were there with you. In bed. Making love. Or just holding you. God, Leigh, I want you.”
“I want you, too.”
“Then marry me. We could have such a perfect life together.”
“No life is perfect, Chad.”
“As near perfect as two imperfect human beings could make it.” She heard his sigh. “I love you. I’d do everything in my power to make you and Sarah happy.”
“I know,” she said quietly, silently adding to herself that he’d do everything but give up his life’s work. Maybe she could learn to live with it. If it meant having Chad or not, maybe she could learn to accept it.
She thought she was getting closer to that acceptance as the days passed. Gratefully she went to work on Monday after creating cleaning projects in her spotless house on Sunday to occupy her hours. She wasn’t really needed at the mall either, but she made work for herself. When she was alone with Sarah at home, she realized how empty the house, and their lives, seemed without Chad.
He called every night at the appointed time and ran up an astronomic long-distance bill. “Can you believe mosquitoes in December? I swear there’s one in the motel room. I can’t see him, but he buzzes in my ear during the night.”
She laughed, her heart filling with love. His calls were like a tonic that was becoming addictive. Between nine and ten each night, the hands on the clock moved with maddening slowness. Proudly she told him everything she was getting accomplished while he was away. But her pride and effervescence dissolved when he called later in the week to report that he wasn’t coming home as soon as he had predicted.
“I’m sorry, Leigh. I thought I’d be back tomorrow, but we’re waiting for a part to be flown in from Houston. I’m sitting here doing nothing, but I can’t leave yet. You understand, don’t you?”
No! her mind screamed. “Of course,” she said instead. “I’m fine, really.”
“I love you. I’ll call again tomorrow night.”
Fortune seemed to have picked her out to plague. The next day, during the busiest shopping hours, a group of unsupervised children knocked over a decorated Christmas tree situated in front of one of the most popular stores. Leigh and her crew rushed into the pandemonium the incident created, but it was several hours before she got everything back to normal. Since some of the decorations had been irreparably damaged, she had to make do with what could be salvaged. She cursed the irresponsibility of some parents as she surveyed the denuded tree.
Platters of prime steak were carried in from the charcoal pit outside the barn. They were accompanied by foil-wrapped baked potatoes and huge bowls of salad. Redwood picnic tables covered with paper tablecloths had been placed end-to-end in several rows. Leigh retrieved Sarah while Chad filled their plates.
The baby lay in Chad’s lap and thumped him in the stomach with her tiny feet until he would poke a bite of fluffy potato into her eager mouth.
There was much shouting, laughter, and boisterous teasing while everyone sacrificed table etiquette to having a good time. Leigh didn’t remember ever enjoying herself more and ate heartily. She and everyone else broke into spontaneous applause when the enormous birthday cake bearing over a hundred candles was wheeled out on a rolling table.
At her door, after they had seen a tired Sarah to bed, Chad stroked Leigh’s cheek. “You would fit right in,” he said. “I loved having you there with me tonight. I was proud to be with you. It wasn’t as if I were there with just another date. Everyone seemed to accept you as part of me. I wish you would.”
“You’re making it very hard for me.”
“Good. I want to wear you down, tear down your defenses.” He crushed her against him. “Marry me, Leigh.”
“Sometimes I think we can make it work, then…”
“Don’t think of the reasons it might not work. Think of all we have that’s right.”
“I know, I know. Believe me, I know. But there’s still your work, Chad. I’m not merely being stubborn. I honestly don’t know if I could ever cope with that.”
“Let’s give it a trial run,” he suggested softly. “I have to go out of town next week.” Her head came up and terror filled her eyes. “Not to a fire,” he assured her quickly. “I need to check out some equipment over in Louisiana. I’ll call you every night at ten o’clock. I promise. You can see what it would be like for me to be gone.”
She nodded. Maybe a trial run like this wasn’t a bad idea. Perhaps they both needed time to analyze their feelings. The sexual attraction between them couldn’t be denied, and when they were together that colored their better judgment. Apart, they might see things more clearly. “When do you have to leave?”
He grimaced. “Tomorrow.”
Her first impulse was to berate him for not telling her, to panic because she wouldn’t see him again before he left. But she had to start getting accustomed to such rapid partings. She smiled bravely, if a little shakily. “I’ll miss you,” she admitted. “You promise to call?”
He kissed her then, a kiss that promised more than a telephone call.
* * *
Had it not been a weekend, the days might have passed more quickly. As it was, Saturday and Sunday dragged by. Leigh went to the mall on Saturday on a flimsy excuse just to get out of the house. Even the difficulties involved in getting Sarah ready for an outing and carrying her stroller into the mall crowded with Christmas shoppers were worth the few hours her mind wasn’t directly targeted on Chad, though it was never far from thoughts of him. By the time she wearily carted Sarah and all her paraphernalia back into the house, Leigh realized just how handy it was to have a man around.
As promised, he called at exactly ten o’clock that night. Leigh had already put Sarah to bed and had taken a hot bath to make herself sleepy. She was lying in bed reading a book when the telephone rang. A split-second later she was holding the receiver to her ear. “Hello.” She didn’t pretend coyness. Pride took a back seat to the thrill of hearing his voice.
His “Hello, darling,” was like a soothing balm to her breathless anticipation.
After they exchanged banalities about his flight to rural Louisiana and the activities that had filled her day, he said, “I wish I were there with you. In bed. Making love. Or just holding you. God, Leigh, I want you.”
“I want you, too.”
“Then marry me. We could have such a perfect life together.”
“No life is perfect, Chad.”
“As near perfect as two imperfect human beings could make it.” She heard his sigh. “I love you. I’d do everything in my power to make you and Sarah happy.”
“I know,” she said quietly, silently adding to herself that he’d do everything but give up his life’s work. Maybe she could learn to live with it. If it meant having Chad or not, maybe she could learn to accept it.
She thought she was getting closer to that acceptance as the days passed. Gratefully she went to work on Monday after creating cleaning projects in her spotless house on Sunday to occupy her hours. She wasn’t really needed at the mall either, but she made work for herself. When she was alone with Sarah at home, she realized how empty the house, and their lives, seemed without Chad.
He called every night at the appointed time and ran up an astronomic long-distance bill. “Can you believe mosquitoes in December? I swear there’s one in the motel room. I can’t see him, but he buzzes in my ear during the night.”
She laughed, her heart filling with love. His calls were like a tonic that was becoming addictive. Between nine and ten each night, the hands on the clock moved with maddening slowness. Proudly she told him everything she was getting accomplished while he was away. But her pride and effervescence dissolved when he called later in the week to report that he wasn’t coming home as soon as he had predicted.
“I’m sorry, Leigh. I thought I’d be back tomorrow, but we’re waiting for a part to be flown in from Houston. I’m sitting here doing nothing, but I can’t leave yet. You understand, don’t you?”
No! her mind screamed. “Of course,” she said instead. “I’m fine, really.”
“I love you. I’ll call again tomorrow night.”
Fortune seemed to have picked her out to plague. The next day, during the busiest shopping hours, a group of unsupervised children knocked over a decorated Christmas tree situated in front of one of the most popular stores. Leigh and her crew rushed into the pandemonium the incident created, but it was several hours before she got everything back to normal. Since some of the decorations had been irreparably damaged, she had to make do with what could be salvaged. She cursed the irresponsibility of some parents as she surveyed the denuded tree.
