Show Me How
Page 40
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The only thing that had helped ease my fears through buying it was the knowledge that I didn’t have Jagger or Grey’s cars to rely on anymore. And now that my car was working less and less often, I needed something that was reliable for Keith, and figured the judge would probably have made it a requirement anyway.
He hadn’t asked.
I pulled Keith’s sleeping form out of the car once we got to the warehouse and carried him inside. But I froze when I was unexpectedly bombarded with screams as soon as I set foot in the door.
“Congratulations!”
Keith jerked awake from the unexpected noise, and scrambled out of my arms and toward the group of people standing in the main room of the warehouse.
Heat crept up my neck and into my cheeks as I looked from my brother and his wife to Grey’s parents, and to Knox and Harlow.
The only person not watching me was Jagger, but that didn’t surprise me. With the exception of a few clipped sentences during and after the court hearing, he hadn’t spoken to me once that week. He and Grey had somehow already known about Deacon before they’d gotten back from Seattle, and every time I’d seen them that week, that calm silence that meant Jagger was well and truly pissed off had radiated from him.
“Uh,” I said on a breath, and let my head drop slightly.
Grey walked up to me, and pulled me into a hug. “I didn’t think you’d be here yet.”
“I didn’t know I wasn’t supposed to be here,” I whispered, then moved so Grey was blocking me from view. The way everyone was still staring at me made me feel lightheaded.
“You are, crazy. I just thought you’d be another twenty minutes or so. Graham and Deacon are still on their way.” Her eyes narrowed on me when she realized what I was doing. “You’d think after working at Mama’s, you’d be a little bit better with attention.”
“That’s different. They look at me for a few seconds, then go back to talking to each other.”
She sighed slowly. “Well, just breathe. After they all tell you they’re happy for you, they’ll talk to each other. Okay?” She stepped away from me, then turned to push me forward.
I accepted hugs from Harlow and Knox, and tried not to show how uncomfortable I was with everyone else in the room still watching me as we talked.
Mrs. LaRue stepped up to hug me from behind, and said, “This is such a special day, honey. We’re so happy for you. It’s been a long time coming.”
I looked over my shoulder and sent her a shaky smile, and opened my mouth to thank her, but was cut off by Jagger.
“Probably would’ve been even longer if the judge had asked about your current relationship.”
My gaze snapped over to him in time to see him take a long swig of his beer. My brow furrowed. “What?”
“Jagger,” Grey hissed.
“What is that supposed to mean?” I demanded.
Jagger gestured toward the door with his bottle, as if Deacon would be there. “You honestly think the judge wouldn’t have hesitated if he knew about you and Deacon? For fuck’s sake, Charlie, even Graham has been telling us that you two shouldn’t be together. His best friend is warning us to get you away from him.”
Shock hit me like a punch to the chest at that piece of news, but I couldn’t react to it. I couldn’t believe Jagger was doing this, and most of all, I couldn’t believe he was doing this in front of other people.
I eyed the bottle of beer in his hand, and wanted to snatch it away, but I couldn’t move. Jagger never drank, and I knew he wouldn’t be doing this to me now if he hadn’t been then. I’d known that he was upset. But when Jagger got that angry with me, he waited until he was calm before he brought up what was bothering him. And we always had those conversations in private.
My breathing became shallow and rapid, and the lightheadedness increased as I became acutely aware of every pair of eyes on me in that moment.
“You’re with a guy who sleeps with a different girl every night, and is just going to use you up the way he does them. You’re with a guy who hates kids, and today we were at a hearing so you could try to get custody of your son. Yeah, I’m sure any judge would have thought that was a great choice of a guy for you to have around your son. Great role model.”
“Jagger, man, I think you should chill for a while,” Knox said firmly, and held his hand out for Jagger’s drink, but Jagger didn’t hand it over, and he wasn’t finished talking.
“I’ve been telling you for so long to get a new car, and you’ve shot down my suggestion every time. You’re with Deacon for a few days and let him talk you into it. Is this starting to sound familiar, Charlie?”
“Stop,” Grey pled, and managed to pull the bottle from his grasp.
A high-pitched ringing started up in my ears, and my legs began shaking. I didn’t know if I was still breathing too rapidly, or if I wasn’t breathing at all anymore. I just knew that I didn’t have long before it felt like I would faint.
“You always talk about not wanting to turn into Mom, but you’re choosing the exact same guys she did. The same guys she constantly brought around, the same guys she married before they left her not long after.”
I’m not like her. I refuse to be her.
He ticked off each likeness on his fingers. “Hates kids, gets you to spend your money, fucks anything with tits.”
“Jagger!” Knox barked out.
“If you don’t want to be her, stop making her mistakes! You already got the first kid, Charlie, should we be expecting the second soon?”
My palm connected with his face before I acknowledged that my arm was moving. Afterward, you could have heard a pin drop in the warehouse.
No one moved. No one breathed.
Deacon
June 24, 2016
GRAHAM AND I glanced at each other warily as we stepped up to the door of the warehouse. The voices were muffled, words indistinguishable, but the last thing I’d expected when we’d gotten there was yelling.
I hurried to open the door, and stepped inside with Graham right behind me.
I only had a split second to take in the scene and absorb that Jagger was screaming . . .
At Charlie.
Knox, Harlow, Grey, and her parents were all gathered around with looks that ranged from shock to anger as they watched Jagger get in Charlie’s face. She stood with her back to me, but even from where I stood fifteen feet away, I could see that she was shaking.
He hadn’t asked.
I pulled Keith’s sleeping form out of the car once we got to the warehouse and carried him inside. But I froze when I was unexpectedly bombarded with screams as soon as I set foot in the door.
“Congratulations!”
Keith jerked awake from the unexpected noise, and scrambled out of my arms and toward the group of people standing in the main room of the warehouse.
Heat crept up my neck and into my cheeks as I looked from my brother and his wife to Grey’s parents, and to Knox and Harlow.
The only person not watching me was Jagger, but that didn’t surprise me. With the exception of a few clipped sentences during and after the court hearing, he hadn’t spoken to me once that week. He and Grey had somehow already known about Deacon before they’d gotten back from Seattle, and every time I’d seen them that week, that calm silence that meant Jagger was well and truly pissed off had radiated from him.
“Uh,” I said on a breath, and let my head drop slightly.
Grey walked up to me, and pulled me into a hug. “I didn’t think you’d be here yet.”
“I didn’t know I wasn’t supposed to be here,” I whispered, then moved so Grey was blocking me from view. The way everyone was still staring at me made me feel lightheaded.
“You are, crazy. I just thought you’d be another twenty minutes or so. Graham and Deacon are still on their way.” Her eyes narrowed on me when she realized what I was doing. “You’d think after working at Mama’s, you’d be a little bit better with attention.”
“That’s different. They look at me for a few seconds, then go back to talking to each other.”
She sighed slowly. “Well, just breathe. After they all tell you they’re happy for you, they’ll talk to each other. Okay?” She stepped away from me, then turned to push me forward.
I accepted hugs from Harlow and Knox, and tried not to show how uncomfortable I was with everyone else in the room still watching me as we talked.
Mrs. LaRue stepped up to hug me from behind, and said, “This is such a special day, honey. We’re so happy for you. It’s been a long time coming.”
I looked over my shoulder and sent her a shaky smile, and opened my mouth to thank her, but was cut off by Jagger.
“Probably would’ve been even longer if the judge had asked about your current relationship.”
My gaze snapped over to him in time to see him take a long swig of his beer. My brow furrowed. “What?”
“Jagger,” Grey hissed.
“What is that supposed to mean?” I demanded.
Jagger gestured toward the door with his bottle, as if Deacon would be there. “You honestly think the judge wouldn’t have hesitated if he knew about you and Deacon? For fuck’s sake, Charlie, even Graham has been telling us that you two shouldn’t be together. His best friend is warning us to get you away from him.”
Shock hit me like a punch to the chest at that piece of news, but I couldn’t react to it. I couldn’t believe Jagger was doing this, and most of all, I couldn’t believe he was doing this in front of other people.
I eyed the bottle of beer in his hand, and wanted to snatch it away, but I couldn’t move. Jagger never drank, and I knew he wouldn’t be doing this to me now if he hadn’t been then. I’d known that he was upset. But when Jagger got that angry with me, he waited until he was calm before he brought up what was bothering him. And we always had those conversations in private.
My breathing became shallow and rapid, and the lightheadedness increased as I became acutely aware of every pair of eyes on me in that moment.
“You’re with a guy who sleeps with a different girl every night, and is just going to use you up the way he does them. You’re with a guy who hates kids, and today we were at a hearing so you could try to get custody of your son. Yeah, I’m sure any judge would have thought that was a great choice of a guy for you to have around your son. Great role model.”
“Jagger, man, I think you should chill for a while,” Knox said firmly, and held his hand out for Jagger’s drink, but Jagger didn’t hand it over, and he wasn’t finished talking.
“I’ve been telling you for so long to get a new car, and you’ve shot down my suggestion every time. You’re with Deacon for a few days and let him talk you into it. Is this starting to sound familiar, Charlie?”
“Stop,” Grey pled, and managed to pull the bottle from his grasp.
A high-pitched ringing started up in my ears, and my legs began shaking. I didn’t know if I was still breathing too rapidly, or if I wasn’t breathing at all anymore. I just knew that I didn’t have long before it felt like I would faint.
“You always talk about not wanting to turn into Mom, but you’re choosing the exact same guys she did. The same guys she constantly brought around, the same guys she married before they left her not long after.”
I’m not like her. I refuse to be her.
He ticked off each likeness on his fingers. “Hates kids, gets you to spend your money, fucks anything with tits.”
“Jagger!” Knox barked out.
“If you don’t want to be her, stop making her mistakes! You already got the first kid, Charlie, should we be expecting the second soon?”
My palm connected with his face before I acknowledged that my arm was moving. Afterward, you could have heard a pin drop in the warehouse.
No one moved. No one breathed.
Deacon
June 24, 2016
GRAHAM AND I glanced at each other warily as we stepped up to the door of the warehouse. The voices were muffled, words indistinguishable, but the last thing I’d expected when we’d gotten there was yelling.
I hurried to open the door, and stepped inside with Graham right behind me.
I only had a split second to take in the scene and absorb that Jagger was screaming . . .
At Charlie.
Knox, Harlow, Grey, and her parents were all gathered around with looks that ranged from shock to anger as they watched Jagger get in Charlie’s face. She stood with her back to me, but even from where I stood fifteen feet away, I could see that she was shaking.
