“What… happened?” Her voice sounded rusty. Beat up. And it became even more so when Con sank onto the bed next to her and took her hand. His fingers slid over her wrist as if checking her pulse, but unlike the times he’d done it in the past, there was more tenderness than professionalism in his touch. “Why are you all here?”
“One of Bantazar’s assassins hit you with an exomangler,” Lore said. “He’s dead.” “A lot dead.” Wraith snorted and high-fived Lore. “Massive deadness.”
Sin could only imagine. And boy, was her imagination entertaining. Bantazar really was a grade-A prick, and his assassins weren’t any better. He was probably still pissed that she hadn’t taken him up on his offer to screw him for the names of assassin masters who were bidding on the big werewolf contract.
She rubbed her chest, where she remembered being hit by something that had felt like a cannonball. Aside from a little tenderness, she’d never have known she’d nearly had a tunnel drilled through her.
But… wait… the tenderness… there was something deeper there, and abruptly, she drew a harsh breath. It was the sensation of losing a lot of assassins. Unfortunately, she wouldn’t know who until she got back to the den or talked to someone who knew.
Right now, it wasn’t important, anyway. Fewer people trying to kill her was a good thing. She put the dead assassins out of her mind and cast her gaze between her brothers. “So you all came?” “It’s what we do,” Eidolon said simply.
Uh-huh. There was a catch. There had to be. “Okay, so you healed me. Thank you. What now?”
Wraith looked up from studying her Gargantua-bone dagger. “How did you escape the infernal fire?”
“Infernal fire?” She frowned, and then that horrible screech she’d heard at Con’s house pierced her memory as if the sound were right there in her ear. “Holy shit, that’s what destroyed Con’s house?” Con cursed. “I should have known. I’ve seen what that shit does.”
“So have I,” Wraith said. “But I’ve never seen anyone escape it.”
“Con’s escape tunnel,” Sin muttered. “The heat couldn’t get to us, and by the time we were out of it —” “We were too far away from the house for the spirits to grab.”
“Someone wants you really dead,” Wraith said.
“Okay, so now that you’ve saved my life and pointed out the glaringly obvious, why are you still here?”
They all exchanged glances, which couldn’t be good. Finally, Shade cleared his throat. “Con said you healed a warg.” “Did he also tell you what happened to her?”
“Yeah,” Eidolon said. “But I’m not sure how much difference her survival would have made. The virus has mutated. It’s affecting born wargs now.”
The information drilled a hole in her more efficiently than the exomangler had. She exhaled shakily and tried to keep her voice above a whisper. “So what now?” “We’re going to have to take some drastic measures. We can’t afford to waste more time looking for infected wargs, and it’s getting too dangerous for you. I got the Carceris off your back temporarily, so we’ll bring you into the hospital and find some volunteers to infect and then cure, so I can work with the killed virus.”
“Getting volunteers to be willingly infected with a fatal disease won’t be easy.” Con shifted on the mattress, causing her to roll toward him a little more. The contact comforted her, made her wish he’d stretch out beside her.
“Want me to grab a volunteer?” Wraith asked, and Sin had a feeling his “volunteer” wasn’t going to be a willing one.
Con’s mouth tightened. “I can point you toward a couple of Warg Council members I’d like to ‘volunteer.’ ” “We’re not forcing anyone.” Sin sat up and grimaced. Someone had put her into clothes that weren’t hers. Which made sense, given that everything she owned was at the assassin den. But whose brilliant idea had it been to put her in a hideous, pink, floral T-shirt? With glitter. At least the jeans fit. “I’ve f**ked over enough people with this.”
“How about Luc?” Wraith sprawled in the bedside chair, legs spread, arms splayed wide, as if he didn’t have a care in the world. “He’s running on borrowed time as it is.”
Lore swung around to him. “Why’s that?”
“He made me swear to kill him when he lost his humanity. Which pretty much happened when Aegi scum killed his would-be mate.”
“Hey,” Tayla huffed. “Aegi scum present, you know.” Wraith grinned, and Sin got the impression that those two took a lot of pleasure in needling each other. “So let’s say we get our volunteer,” she said, “cure the disease, and a truce is called in the civil war. Will the Warg Council still want my head?”
Con reached for a glass of water sitting on the bedside table, and handed it to her. “I’ll talk to them.”
“And the chances of them backing off?” Shade asked. Con’s expression was grim. “Not good.” He stroked the back of her hand absently, but Sin noticed that her brothers’ eyes zeroed in on the action. Impossible to tell what they were thinking. Well, Wraith was clearly amused, but the others… not so much. “As soon as you find a volunteer and we confirm a cure, I’ll go to them. I have a little clout and some of the members owe me.”
Sin’s eyes stung. He was willing to use up some favors for her? All of these guys were willing to help her? Once again, emotion overwhelmed her, and she vaulted out of bed. “I need a glass of water.”
Never mind that she had one in her hand. She needed to get out of there. She was on emotional overload and short-circuiting was a danger. She took the stairs down two at a time and darted into the kitchen, where she backed into a corner and stood there, panting, wondering what in the hell was going on with her. She didn’t know how long she’d been there when she heard someone coming down the steps. Too light for any of the guys.
Tayla.
“I’m surprised they sent you,” Sin said when Tay entered the kitchen. “I was betting on Lore or Shade.”
“I had to convince those two to stay.” Tay rolled her eyes. “Which was easier than convincing Con not to chase you.”
For some reason, that made Sin all warm and fuzzy.
“Eidolon, of course, wanted to come check your vitals. I think Wraith just wanted to make fun of you.”
Sin snorted. “And you?” Tayla’s hand dropped to her thigh holster, where the hilt of a dagger protruded from its leather housing, and Sin instinctively tensed. But the slayer’s fingers only played with the sleek wooden handle. Still, her gaze was steady, fearless, focused like green laser beams, and the way she was studying Sin was almost adversarial.
“Wraith and I don’t agree on much,” she said slowly, “but we do have a meeting of the minds—feeble as his is—when it comes to protecting the family.”
Okay, Sin knew where this was going. “And you’re afraid I’m going to hurt my brothers. Yeah, yeah, Wraith already gave me the hurt-them-and-you’ll-be-sorry speech, so save your breath.” Tayla’s fingers continued to caress the weapon. “Look, I know you don’t want to talk—” “You don’t know anything,” Sin snapped.
One eyebrow arched up. “I think you’d be surprised.”
“Really? Why don’t you share.”
Tayla hopped up on the table and folded her hands in her lap as though settling in for a nice, long lecture. Great. “Okay, here’s the deal. My mom was a junkie. I was born on the floor of an abandoned warehouse, addicted to heroin. I grew up in foster homes and on the streets. I was abused. I did drugs. I stole. I was always in a lot of trouble. When I was a teenager, I watched my mom be torn apart by a demon. A Soulshredder. After that, I was even angrier. I joined The Aegis and killed every demon, vampire, and shapeshifter I could get my hands on. Eventually, I met Eidolon, discovered I had a twin sister, and learned the demon who tortured my mom was also my father. How’s that for a start?”
Christ. No wonder Tayla’s emerald eyes were those of a warrior. She might not be as old as Sin, but she’d fought just as hard to survive. Grudging respect for her sister-in-law softened Sin’s demeanor. “You have my attention.”
“Good. Because I was royally pissed off for a long time. At the world, at humans, at demons. I hated everyone and everything.”
“Yeah, well, that’s the difference between you and me,” Sin said, crossing her arms over her chest. “I don’t hate the world.”
“No, you just hate yourself.” Before Sin could even attempt to deny that, Tay asked, “What do you think of Lore?” Sin blinked at the rapid change of subject. “What?”
“Lore. Do you respect his feelings? Do you think he’s a bad judge of character?” “I’ve always trusted his judgment. Why?”
“Because he loves you. So if he’s a good judge of character…”
Sin rolled her eyes. “Please. Spare me the psychobabble and pep talk. I’m not going to off myself or anything. I’m free now, and life is good.”
“Is Con part of it? Your good life?”
Butterflies flitted in Sin’s stomach. The sensation was weird, almost panic-inducing, but at the same time, it was strangely… pleasant.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Tayla leveled a flat stare at Sin. “I’m neither blind nor stupid. I saw the way you freaked when he offered to do something nice for you.”
“Doesn’t matter. He doesn’t want me. Not like that.” “How many bullshit flags do I have to throw down? You didn’t see him when he got to our apartment. He was terrified for you. I thought he was going to explode out of his skin while the boys were working on you. And just a minute ago, I saw how he looked at you. He might not want to admit it, even to himself, but there’s something there. Let him in, Sin. I know it’s hard. Giving myself to Eidolon was the toughest thing I’ve ever done. But I haven’t regretted it. Not once. Con’s a good guy, and you can also trust your brothers.”
God, this was getting so old. “I don’t need—”
“I know. You don’t need them.” Sarcasm laced Tayla’s words. “You don’t need anyone. But you know what? They need you.”
“Why does everyone keep saying that?” Sin slammed her glass of water on the counter, sloshing liquid everywhere. “They’ve done fine without me.” There was a long silence, and then Tayla smiled, but it was a sad upturn of her lips. “No, they haven’t. Their sick, twisted brother, your brother, Roag, nearly destroyed their lives. And he tortured and killed Shade’s sister. But in a way, he brought Lore and you to them. If they can turn Roag’s deeds into something positive… Let’s just say they need that.” She closed her eyes and took a ragged breath. “My father was a monster. I can still taste my mom’s blood on my tongue because it was so thick in the air. But because of him, I have a sister. The fact that some tiny bit of good came out of the horrors he inflicted on me and my mother has kept me sane and kept me from wasting my life on bitterness.”
Sin turned away, unable to think too hard about what Tayla had said. Because for as much as Tayla and Sin had in common, they couldn’t be more opposite. Sin had wasted her life on bitterness. Maybe Tayla was right. Maybe it was time to accept the good things that had come into her life instead of shoving them away. Her brothers were tight, and though things had been rough for a while, the way they’d ultimately accepted Lore into the fold was absolute, like he’d never been missing. Maybe they’d accept her like that.
A strange frisson of longing shot through her. She hadn’t had a family, a real family, in more than a hundred years. Then again, the very idea made her break out into a cold sweat. And then there was Con. She’d told him things she’d never told anyone. She’d done things with him she’d never done, and her body heated at the memories. He’d protected her when he could have killed her. He forced her to confront things she didn’t want to… and even though it totally wasn’t cool, no one else had ever bothered to go that far with her. Not even Lore, who wanted to be close but was too afraid of pushing her away.
Con pushed, and instead of running, she’d pushed right back.
“Sin?” Tayla’s hand came down on Sin’s shoulder. “Are you okay?”
Instead of replying, Sin asked a question of her own. “How did you let Eidolon in?” A blast of affection flowed over Sin like a blanket, and that weird, warm longing came back. “I real
ized I was a better person when I was with him. So I told him my darkest secrets. I let him see the worst sides of me. And he wanted me more than ever.” Sin had already told Con her secrets. He’d seen her at her worst.
And he’d said he wouldn’t leave her.
She turned around, looked at Tayla. Looked at the stairs that led to the room where her brothers and Con were gathered. Where they’d taken care of her. Saved her life.
She was in a house full of people who were there for her. The knowledge leveled her. Laid her out like she’d been kicked in the head.
She really did have a family, and the emotional tether between her and them was getting stronger. Tightening. But would it become an embrace, or a noose? Con paced in the bedroom, weaving between the Sem brothers as he waited for either Tayla or Sin to return. Relief that she’d survived the assassin attack was tempered by the fact that she seemed to have reverted to her distant self, the Sin that no one could get through to.
“One of Bantazar’s assassins hit you with an exomangler,” Lore said. “He’s dead.” “A lot dead.” Wraith snorted and high-fived Lore. “Massive deadness.”
Sin could only imagine. And boy, was her imagination entertaining. Bantazar really was a grade-A prick, and his assassins weren’t any better. He was probably still pissed that she hadn’t taken him up on his offer to screw him for the names of assassin masters who were bidding on the big werewolf contract.
She rubbed her chest, where she remembered being hit by something that had felt like a cannonball. Aside from a little tenderness, she’d never have known she’d nearly had a tunnel drilled through her.
But… wait… the tenderness… there was something deeper there, and abruptly, she drew a harsh breath. It was the sensation of losing a lot of assassins. Unfortunately, she wouldn’t know who until she got back to the den or talked to someone who knew.
Right now, it wasn’t important, anyway. Fewer people trying to kill her was a good thing. She put the dead assassins out of her mind and cast her gaze between her brothers. “So you all came?” “It’s what we do,” Eidolon said simply.
Uh-huh. There was a catch. There had to be. “Okay, so you healed me. Thank you. What now?”
Wraith looked up from studying her Gargantua-bone dagger. “How did you escape the infernal fire?”
“Infernal fire?” She frowned, and then that horrible screech she’d heard at Con’s house pierced her memory as if the sound were right there in her ear. “Holy shit, that’s what destroyed Con’s house?” Con cursed. “I should have known. I’ve seen what that shit does.”
“So have I,” Wraith said. “But I’ve never seen anyone escape it.”
“Con’s escape tunnel,” Sin muttered. “The heat couldn’t get to us, and by the time we were out of it —” “We were too far away from the house for the spirits to grab.”
“Someone wants you really dead,” Wraith said.
“Okay, so now that you’ve saved my life and pointed out the glaringly obvious, why are you still here?”
They all exchanged glances, which couldn’t be good. Finally, Shade cleared his throat. “Con said you healed a warg.” “Did he also tell you what happened to her?”
“Yeah,” Eidolon said. “But I’m not sure how much difference her survival would have made. The virus has mutated. It’s affecting born wargs now.”
The information drilled a hole in her more efficiently than the exomangler had. She exhaled shakily and tried to keep her voice above a whisper. “So what now?” “We’re going to have to take some drastic measures. We can’t afford to waste more time looking for infected wargs, and it’s getting too dangerous for you. I got the Carceris off your back temporarily, so we’ll bring you into the hospital and find some volunteers to infect and then cure, so I can work with the killed virus.”
“Getting volunteers to be willingly infected with a fatal disease won’t be easy.” Con shifted on the mattress, causing her to roll toward him a little more. The contact comforted her, made her wish he’d stretch out beside her.
“Want me to grab a volunteer?” Wraith asked, and Sin had a feeling his “volunteer” wasn’t going to be a willing one.
Con’s mouth tightened. “I can point you toward a couple of Warg Council members I’d like to ‘volunteer.’ ” “We’re not forcing anyone.” Sin sat up and grimaced. Someone had put her into clothes that weren’t hers. Which made sense, given that everything she owned was at the assassin den. But whose brilliant idea had it been to put her in a hideous, pink, floral T-shirt? With glitter. At least the jeans fit. “I’ve f**ked over enough people with this.”
“How about Luc?” Wraith sprawled in the bedside chair, legs spread, arms splayed wide, as if he didn’t have a care in the world. “He’s running on borrowed time as it is.”
Lore swung around to him. “Why’s that?”
“He made me swear to kill him when he lost his humanity. Which pretty much happened when Aegi scum killed his would-be mate.”
“Hey,” Tayla huffed. “Aegi scum present, you know.” Wraith grinned, and Sin got the impression that those two took a lot of pleasure in needling each other. “So let’s say we get our volunteer,” she said, “cure the disease, and a truce is called in the civil war. Will the Warg Council still want my head?”
Con reached for a glass of water sitting on the bedside table, and handed it to her. “I’ll talk to them.”
“And the chances of them backing off?” Shade asked. Con’s expression was grim. “Not good.” He stroked the back of her hand absently, but Sin noticed that her brothers’ eyes zeroed in on the action. Impossible to tell what they were thinking. Well, Wraith was clearly amused, but the others… not so much. “As soon as you find a volunteer and we confirm a cure, I’ll go to them. I have a little clout and some of the members owe me.”
Sin’s eyes stung. He was willing to use up some favors for her? All of these guys were willing to help her? Once again, emotion overwhelmed her, and she vaulted out of bed. “I need a glass of water.”
Never mind that she had one in her hand. She needed to get out of there. She was on emotional overload and short-circuiting was a danger. She took the stairs down two at a time and darted into the kitchen, where she backed into a corner and stood there, panting, wondering what in the hell was going on with her. She didn’t know how long she’d been there when she heard someone coming down the steps. Too light for any of the guys.
Tayla.
“I’m surprised they sent you,” Sin said when Tay entered the kitchen. “I was betting on Lore or Shade.”
“I had to convince those two to stay.” Tay rolled her eyes. “Which was easier than convincing Con not to chase you.”
For some reason, that made Sin all warm and fuzzy.
“Eidolon, of course, wanted to come check your vitals. I think Wraith just wanted to make fun of you.”
Sin snorted. “And you?” Tayla’s hand dropped to her thigh holster, where the hilt of a dagger protruded from its leather housing, and Sin instinctively tensed. But the slayer’s fingers only played with the sleek wooden handle. Still, her gaze was steady, fearless, focused like green laser beams, and the way she was studying Sin was almost adversarial.
“Wraith and I don’t agree on much,” she said slowly, “but we do have a meeting of the minds—feeble as his is—when it comes to protecting the family.”
Okay, Sin knew where this was going. “And you’re afraid I’m going to hurt my brothers. Yeah, yeah, Wraith already gave me the hurt-them-and-you’ll-be-sorry speech, so save your breath.” Tayla’s fingers continued to caress the weapon. “Look, I know you don’t want to talk—” “You don’t know anything,” Sin snapped.
One eyebrow arched up. “I think you’d be surprised.”
“Really? Why don’t you share.”
Tayla hopped up on the table and folded her hands in her lap as though settling in for a nice, long lecture. Great. “Okay, here’s the deal. My mom was a junkie. I was born on the floor of an abandoned warehouse, addicted to heroin. I grew up in foster homes and on the streets. I was abused. I did drugs. I stole. I was always in a lot of trouble. When I was a teenager, I watched my mom be torn apart by a demon. A Soulshredder. After that, I was even angrier. I joined The Aegis and killed every demon, vampire, and shapeshifter I could get my hands on. Eventually, I met Eidolon, discovered I had a twin sister, and learned the demon who tortured my mom was also my father. How’s that for a start?”
Christ. No wonder Tayla’s emerald eyes were those of a warrior. She might not be as old as Sin, but she’d fought just as hard to survive. Grudging respect for her sister-in-law softened Sin’s demeanor. “You have my attention.”
“Good. Because I was royally pissed off for a long time. At the world, at humans, at demons. I hated everyone and everything.”
“Yeah, well, that’s the difference between you and me,” Sin said, crossing her arms over her chest. “I don’t hate the world.”
“No, you just hate yourself.” Before Sin could even attempt to deny that, Tay asked, “What do you think of Lore?” Sin blinked at the rapid change of subject. “What?”
“Lore. Do you respect his feelings? Do you think he’s a bad judge of character?” “I’ve always trusted his judgment. Why?”
“Because he loves you. So if he’s a good judge of character…”
Sin rolled her eyes. “Please. Spare me the psychobabble and pep talk. I’m not going to off myself or anything. I’m free now, and life is good.”
“Is Con part of it? Your good life?”
Butterflies flitted in Sin’s stomach. The sensation was weird, almost panic-inducing, but at the same time, it was strangely… pleasant.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Tayla leveled a flat stare at Sin. “I’m neither blind nor stupid. I saw the way you freaked when he offered to do something nice for you.”
“Doesn’t matter. He doesn’t want me. Not like that.” “How many bullshit flags do I have to throw down? You didn’t see him when he got to our apartment. He was terrified for you. I thought he was going to explode out of his skin while the boys were working on you. And just a minute ago, I saw how he looked at you. He might not want to admit it, even to himself, but there’s something there. Let him in, Sin. I know it’s hard. Giving myself to Eidolon was the toughest thing I’ve ever done. But I haven’t regretted it. Not once. Con’s a good guy, and you can also trust your brothers.”
God, this was getting so old. “I don’t need—”
“I know. You don’t need them.” Sarcasm laced Tayla’s words. “You don’t need anyone. But you know what? They need you.”
“Why does everyone keep saying that?” Sin slammed her glass of water on the counter, sloshing liquid everywhere. “They’ve done fine without me.” There was a long silence, and then Tayla smiled, but it was a sad upturn of her lips. “No, they haven’t. Their sick, twisted brother, your brother, Roag, nearly destroyed their lives. And he tortured and killed Shade’s sister. But in a way, he brought Lore and you to them. If they can turn Roag’s deeds into something positive… Let’s just say they need that.” She closed her eyes and took a ragged breath. “My father was a monster. I can still taste my mom’s blood on my tongue because it was so thick in the air. But because of him, I have a sister. The fact that some tiny bit of good came out of the horrors he inflicted on me and my mother has kept me sane and kept me from wasting my life on bitterness.”
Sin turned away, unable to think too hard about what Tayla had said. Because for as much as Tayla and Sin had in common, they couldn’t be more opposite. Sin had wasted her life on bitterness. Maybe Tayla was right. Maybe it was time to accept the good things that had come into her life instead of shoving them away. Her brothers were tight, and though things had been rough for a while, the way they’d ultimately accepted Lore into the fold was absolute, like he’d never been missing. Maybe they’d accept her like that.
A strange frisson of longing shot through her. She hadn’t had a family, a real family, in more than a hundred years. Then again, the very idea made her break out into a cold sweat. And then there was Con. She’d told him things she’d never told anyone. She’d done things with him she’d never done, and her body heated at the memories. He’d protected her when he could have killed her. He forced her to confront things she didn’t want to… and even though it totally wasn’t cool, no one else had ever bothered to go that far with her. Not even Lore, who wanted to be close but was too afraid of pushing her away.
Con pushed, and instead of running, she’d pushed right back.
“Sin?” Tayla’s hand came down on Sin’s shoulder. “Are you okay?”
Instead of replying, Sin asked a question of her own. “How did you let Eidolon in?” A blast of affection flowed over Sin like a blanket, and that weird, warm longing came back. “I real
ized I was a better person when I was with him. So I told him my darkest secrets. I let him see the worst sides of me. And he wanted me more than ever.” Sin had already told Con her secrets. He’d seen her at her worst.
And he’d said he wouldn’t leave her.
She turned around, looked at Tayla. Looked at the stairs that led to the room where her brothers and Con were gathered. Where they’d taken care of her. Saved her life.
She was in a house full of people who were there for her. The knowledge leveled her. Laid her out like she’d been kicked in the head.
She really did have a family, and the emotional tether between her and them was getting stronger. Tightening. But would it become an embrace, or a noose? Con paced in the bedroom, weaving between the Sem brothers as he waited for either Tayla or Sin to return. Relief that she’d survived the assassin attack was tempered by the fact that she seemed to have reverted to her distant self, the Sin that no one could get through to.
