That was an accident.
I dont believe in accidents, Michael said. Not where the Swords are concerned.
Suppose I dont want it.
Its your choice, of course, Michael said. Thats sort of the point. But Uriel asked me to pass it to you. And I trust you.
I sighed. Maggies limp, warm little body was emitting a barrage of some kind of subatomic particle that was making me drowsy. Probably sleepeons. Mouse snored a little, generating his own sleepeon field. The gentle night wasnt helping things, either. Nor was my battered body.
I had a surplus of burdens already.
The thing is, I said quietly, the Swords keeper needs clear judgment more than anything else. And Im not sure I have it anymore.
Why not? Michael asked.
Because of the Winter mantle. Because of Mab. If I take the Sword, bad things could happen down the line.
Of course they could, Michael said. But I dont believe for a second that they would happen because you chose to make them happen.
Thats what I mean, I said. What if . . . what if Mab gets to me, eventually? I waved my hand. Stars and stones, I just spent the weekend working with Denarians on behalf of freaking Marcone. Ive had this job for . . . what? A couple of years? What will I be like fiveyears from now? Or ten? Or a hundred and fifty?
I dont believe that for a second, Michael said. I know you.
Im not sure I do anymore, I said, and it scares the hell out of me. What happens if she does it? What happens if she turns me into her personal monster? What is she going to do with me then?
Oh, Harry, Michael said. Youre asking exactly the wrong question, my friend.
What do you mean? I asked.
He looked at me, his face serious, even worried. What is she going to do with you if she cant?
A fluttery fear went through my belly at the thought. Silence fell. The night was dark and quiet and misty. Somewhere, out there in it, Mab was moving, planning. Part of her plans, the dark, bloody, violent parts, included me.
Maggie was warm and soft beside my heart. Mouse stirred for a moment, and shifted until his big shaggy head was lying on my foot before going back to sleep. Behind me, the Carpenter household was settling into the quiet, stable energy of a home going through a familiar pattern. Bedtime.
Sometimes you realize youre standing at a crossroads. That there are two paths stretching out ahead of you, and you have to pick one of them.
Without a word, I took Amoracchius and settled it where I could reach it easily when it was time to stand up.
I dont believe in accidents, Michael said. Not where the Swords are concerned.
Suppose I dont want it.
Its your choice, of course, Michael said. Thats sort of the point. But Uriel asked me to pass it to you. And I trust you.
I sighed. Maggies limp, warm little body was emitting a barrage of some kind of subatomic particle that was making me drowsy. Probably sleepeons. Mouse snored a little, generating his own sleepeon field. The gentle night wasnt helping things, either. Nor was my battered body.
I had a surplus of burdens already.
The thing is, I said quietly, the Swords keeper needs clear judgment more than anything else. And Im not sure I have it anymore.
Why not? Michael asked.
Because of the Winter mantle. Because of Mab. If I take the Sword, bad things could happen down the line.
Of course they could, Michael said. But I dont believe for a second that they would happen because you chose to make them happen.
Thats what I mean, I said. What if . . . what if Mab gets to me, eventually? I waved my hand. Stars and stones, I just spent the weekend working with Denarians on behalf of freaking Marcone. Ive had this job for . . . what? A couple of years? What will I be like fiveyears from now? Or ten? Or a hundred and fifty?
I dont believe that for a second, Michael said. I know you.
Im not sure I do anymore, I said, and it scares the hell out of me. What happens if she does it? What happens if she turns me into her personal monster? What is she going to do with me then?
Oh, Harry, Michael said. Youre asking exactly the wrong question, my friend.
What do you mean? I asked.
He looked at me, his face serious, even worried. What is she going to do with you if she cant?
A fluttery fear went through my belly at the thought. Silence fell. The night was dark and quiet and misty. Somewhere, out there in it, Mab was moving, planning. Part of her plans, the dark, bloody, violent parts, included me.
Maggie was warm and soft beside my heart. Mouse stirred for a moment, and shifted until his big shaggy head was lying on my foot before going back to sleep. Behind me, the Carpenter household was settling into the quiet, stable energy of a home going through a familiar pattern. Bedtime.
Sometimes you realize youre standing at a crossroads. That there are two paths stretching out ahead of you, and you have to pick one of them.
Without a word, I took Amoracchius and settled it where I could reach it easily when it was time to stand up.
