***
I lived above the bar. It had been my home for six months. The decision to move here had been made in desperation when the house I rented was sold and I had nowhere to go. My intention had never been for it to become a permanent home, it had just worked out that way over time. I liked it, though, and couldn’t see myself moving out anytime soon.
It was three o’clock when Annie and I arrived back there. Jess was working and she gave me a sad smile when she saw me follow behind Annie. She knew Annie’s story, and also knew I’d spent years trying to help her to no avail. “Hi Annie,” she greeted her with kindness in her voice.
“Hi Jess,” Annie replied, so softly I doubted Jess would have heard it.
“I’ll meet you upstairs soon, hon,” I said to Annie. “You unpack your stuff and get settled, and I’ll see you in a couple of minutes.”
“Okay,” she murmured before giving me a small smile and heading upstairs.
With a heavy heart, I walked over to where Jess was at the bar.
“She moving in?” Jess inquired.
“Yeah. Her boyfriend is a dick and has been cheating on her and treating her like shit. I need to find her a psychologist and get her head sorted.”
“You take too much on, Layla. She’s a grown woman. Maybe it’s time she started looking out for herself rather than relying on you to always swoop in and fix her problems.”
I perched on a stool and rested my elbows on the bar. Blowing out a long breath, I said, “I know what you’re saying, but I feel like I’ve never given her the tools to do that. And god fucking knows her parents didn’t either, so she’s almost like a child just floating aimlessly through life with no idea how to be an adult. I think if we can work with a professional, Annie might finally be able to gain the belief in herself and the skills she needs to move forward, you know?”
Jess considered what I’d said. “Maybe. Promise me, though, if you do this and put the time into it, and it doesn’t work, you need to stop putting yourself through that. Annie’s not only hurting herself here.”
I knew she was coming from a good place, but she didn’t have anyone in her life that needed her like Annie needed me, so she couldn’t understand why I would never give up on my cousin. “I can’t promise that, Jess.”
We were both quiet for a few moments. Then she said, “I’m here if you need anything, okay?”
I smiled. Jess had worked here for a couple of years and we’d become good friends. We were the same age, twenty-seven, but where I had no family around me, except for Annie, she was surrounded by loving parents and five siblings. She’d taken me under her wing and introduced me to her family when she discovered I had no one. They’d welcomed me and made me an honorary member of their family. She always came through for me, even if she didn’t agree with the choices I made. “Thank you,” I said.
“Always.”
I jumped off the stool. “I’m gonna head up and make sure she’s okay. Just call if you need me.”
She nodded. “Will do. What time is Damian coming in?”
“Seven, so I’ll make sure I’m back down by five unless you call.”
“Okay, boss,” she said, waving her hands to indicate I should leave her to it.
I climbed the stairs slowly. Dealing with Annie was weary work, and while I never resented it, I didn’t necessarily look forward to it. I found her in my spare bedroom, curled up on the bed, asleep, so I left her and headed back down to the bar.
Jess frowned as she caught sight of me. “Why aren’t you upstairs?”
“She’s asleep so I thought I would help you get the bar ready for tonight.”
“Thanks.”
I began helping her stock the bar and she asked, “Have you heard from Dale at all?”
“No.” Anger swirled in my stomach just at the thought of him.
I’d hate to see my reaction if he walked back in here.
“Do you think he’s gone for good?”
I put the bottle that was in my hand down and contemplated her question. “I wouldn’t be surprised. That’s a lot of cash he owes and I can’t think of anyone he knows who could lend it to him. If I were him, I wouldn’t come back.”
“Yes, you would,” she stated, matter-of-factly. “You’re too good of a person to do what he’s done to you.”
“Yeah, but if a bookie had me in his sights for that much, I think I’d run.”
“Layla, you wouldn’t. You’re the kind of woman who gets shit done and finds a way when the rest of us think we’ve run out of options. But this conversation is a waste of time anyway, because you wouldn’t get yourself in that kind of shit to begin with. And you certainly wouldn’t steal from your friend.”
“Well, there is that. You’re damn right I wouldn’t steal from a friend.”
Her eyes lit up as if she just remembered something. “Have you heard from that guy? You know, the one who helped you the other night. The arm porn dude.”
“The what?” Arm porn? Jess really did come out with some weird shit sometimes.
She grinned. “Did you get a look at his fucking arms? They’re like looking at porn, babe. Guaranteed to get you off on sight.”
I lived above the bar. It had been my home for six months. The decision to move here had been made in desperation when the house I rented was sold and I had nowhere to go. My intention had never been for it to become a permanent home, it had just worked out that way over time. I liked it, though, and couldn’t see myself moving out anytime soon.
It was three o’clock when Annie and I arrived back there. Jess was working and she gave me a sad smile when she saw me follow behind Annie. She knew Annie’s story, and also knew I’d spent years trying to help her to no avail. “Hi Annie,” she greeted her with kindness in her voice.
“Hi Jess,” Annie replied, so softly I doubted Jess would have heard it.
“I’ll meet you upstairs soon, hon,” I said to Annie. “You unpack your stuff and get settled, and I’ll see you in a couple of minutes.”
“Okay,” she murmured before giving me a small smile and heading upstairs.
With a heavy heart, I walked over to where Jess was at the bar.
“She moving in?” Jess inquired.
“Yeah. Her boyfriend is a dick and has been cheating on her and treating her like shit. I need to find her a psychologist and get her head sorted.”
“You take too much on, Layla. She’s a grown woman. Maybe it’s time she started looking out for herself rather than relying on you to always swoop in and fix her problems.”
I perched on a stool and rested my elbows on the bar. Blowing out a long breath, I said, “I know what you’re saying, but I feel like I’ve never given her the tools to do that. And god fucking knows her parents didn’t either, so she’s almost like a child just floating aimlessly through life with no idea how to be an adult. I think if we can work with a professional, Annie might finally be able to gain the belief in herself and the skills she needs to move forward, you know?”
Jess considered what I’d said. “Maybe. Promise me, though, if you do this and put the time into it, and it doesn’t work, you need to stop putting yourself through that. Annie’s not only hurting herself here.”
I knew she was coming from a good place, but she didn’t have anyone in her life that needed her like Annie needed me, so she couldn’t understand why I would never give up on my cousin. “I can’t promise that, Jess.”
We were both quiet for a few moments. Then she said, “I’m here if you need anything, okay?”
I smiled. Jess had worked here for a couple of years and we’d become good friends. We were the same age, twenty-seven, but where I had no family around me, except for Annie, she was surrounded by loving parents and five siblings. She’d taken me under her wing and introduced me to her family when she discovered I had no one. They’d welcomed me and made me an honorary member of their family. She always came through for me, even if she didn’t agree with the choices I made. “Thank you,” I said.
“Always.”
I jumped off the stool. “I’m gonna head up and make sure she’s okay. Just call if you need me.”
She nodded. “Will do. What time is Damian coming in?”
“Seven, so I’ll make sure I’m back down by five unless you call.”
“Okay, boss,” she said, waving her hands to indicate I should leave her to it.
I climbed the stairs slowly. Dealing with Annie was weary work, and while I never resented it, I didn’t necessarily look forward to it. I found her in my spare bedroom, curled up on the bed, asleep, so I left her and headed back down to the bar.
Jess frowned as she caught sight of me. “Why aren’t you upstairs?”
“She’s asleep so I thought I would help you get the bar ready for tonight.”
“Thanks.”
I began helping her stock the bar and she asked, “Have you heard from Dale at all?”
“No.” Anger swirled in my stomach just at the thought of him.
I’d hate to see my reaction if he walked back in here.
“Do you think he’s gone for good?”
I put the bottle that was in my hand down and contemplated her question. “I wouldn’t be surprised. That’s a lot of cash he owes and I can’t think of anyone he knows who could lend it to him. If I were him, I wouldn’t come back.”
“Yes, you would,” she stated, matter-of-factly. “You’re too good of a person to do what he’s done to you.”
“Yeah, but if a bookie had me in his sights for that much, I think I’d run.”
“Layla, you wouldn’t. You’re the kind of woman who gets shit done and finds a way when the rest of us think we’ve run out of options. But this conversation is a waste of time anyway, because you wouldn’t get yourself in that kind of shit to begin with. And you certainly wouldn’t steal from your friend.”
“Well, there is that. You’re damn right I wouldn’t steal from a friend.”
Her eyes lit up as if she just remembered something. “Have you heard from that guy? You know, the one who helped you the other night. The arm porn dude.”
“The what?” Arm porn? Jess really did come out with some weird shit sometimes.
She grinned. “Did you get a look at his fucking arms? They’re like looking at porn, babe. Guaranteed to get you off on sight.”
