He finished his coffee and rinsed his mug before coming back to me. “I’ve got a lot of stuff to take care of today, so I’m not sure what time I’ll see you later.”
“It’s all good. You take care of what you need to, and I’ll be here whenever you get back.”
He bent his face to kiss me and then asked, “Do you have any idea how much I need you in my life?”
“Probably as much as I need you in mine.”
I watched him leave and decided I’d never let him go.
Ever.
Donovan Brookes was it for me.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Blade
I stepped through the front door of my mother’s house with trepidation. The news I had to break to her would either gut her or help her move on. I wasn’t sure which.
“Hey, baby,” she greeted me with a smile as she wiped down the kitchen counters.
“I’ve got something to tell you,” I said, getting straight to the point. I didn’t have it in me to drag this shit out.
She stopped what she was doing and turned to give me her full attention. “What is it?”
I took a deep breath. “Marcus is dead.”
Her eyes widened, and her whole body stilled.
I waited.
“How?” she asked eventually, her voice shaky.
I was never one to beat around the bush, so I didn’t start now. “I killed him.”
Her hand flew to her mouth. “Oh, God.”
Still unable to tell if she was upset or just in shock, I waited to see what she would say next.
She grasped the chair at the kitchen table and collapsed into it, but didn’t say another word.
I sat next to her. “I’m not sorry I did it, and I would do it again, but I’m sorry if it hurts you. I never wanted that for you.”
Reaching out for me, she cupped my chin. “Donovan, it hurts but mostly because my son had such a bad father he felt it necessary to kill him.” Her voice cracked as she continued. “I did that to you, and for that I am sorry.”
I shook my head. “No, I don’t blame you for that, Mum.”
We sat together quietly, lost in our own thoughts, and I realised something. It’s easy to blame yourself for shit in your life and in the lives of those you love, but it just holds you back. Mum had blamed herself for Marcus for far too long, and I’d blamed myself for Ashley for too long as well, and both of us had stopped living our lives fully.
“We have to stop this shit,” I muttered, standing.
Looking up at me with a frown, she asked, “What?”
“All this blame. It gets us nowhere. Shit happened, and we survived it. We’re still breathing, but we’re not living. We need to stop blaming ourselves and get on with life.”
She stood, too. “When did you get so smart, baby?” she asked, softly.
“I don’t know, but I’m running with it.”
“Yeah, you’re right, it’s time to move forward.” She said the words, but I could hear the doubt in her voice. This was going to take her some time to deal with. Understandable seeing as Marcus had been a presence in her life for so long.
I embraced her, and when I let her go, I said, “I’ve got someone I want you to meet.”
A small smile brightened her face. “I thought you might.”
“How?”
“You’ve changed lately, and I’m pretty sure those kinds of changes are usually inspired by a good woman. You better bring her over soon, because I want to meet the woman who has helped you.”
“I’ll do that,” I promised.
I knew she would love Layla, and I was fairly confident Layla would love her, too.
A man was lucky if he had one good woman in his life.
I had two.
***
I left Mum’s house and drove to see Madison. She had the day off from work, so I was headed to her house. I’d spoken with her on the phone about Marcus, and even though she said she was okay with it, I wanted to watch her face while she spoke the words. That would tell me the truth.
She answered the door with a mixing bowl in her arms and flour all over her face. Smiling at me, she said, “Just in time, big brother, we’ve just put some cookies in the oven.”
“We?” I asked as I walked inside. The fact she was cooking concerned me. Was it a distraction from thinking about Marcus’s death?
“Me and Harlow.”
I kept walking as she talked and ended up in the kitchen where Harlow was washing up dishes. She turned to look at me, and I was stunned to see her haggard appearance. She’d lost weight since I’d last seen her, and exhaustion marred her features.
“Hi Blade,” she murmured.
I lifted my chin at her. “Harlow.”
She gave me a small smile before turning back to her dishes. I turned to Madison and widened my eyes questioningly. She shook her head at me; it was her way of saying she’d tell me later. I let it go. We had other things to discuss.
“Talk to me,” I said to Madison as I grabbed a stool at her breakfast bar.
She sighed. “I don’t know. I hated him in the end, Blade. You know that. I’ve already grieved the loss of my father. But to think he’s gone, and I’ll never see him again, I feel kinda sad even though I don’t want to.” Her voice cracked at the end, and I reached for her hand to pull her to me. I put my arms around her and held her.
“It’s all good. You take care of what you need to, and I’ll be here whenever you get back.”
He bent his face to kiss me and then asked, “Do you have any idea how much I need you in my life?”
“Probably as much as I need you in mine.”
I watched him leave and decided I’d never let him go.
Ever.
Donovan Brookes was it for me.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Blade
I stepped through the front door of my mother’s house with trepidation. The news I had to break to her would either gut her or help her move on. I wasn’t sure which.
“Hey, baby,” she greeted me with a smile as she wiped down the kitchen counters.
“I’ve got something to tell you,” I said, getting straight to the point. I didn’t have it in me to drag this shit out.
She stopped what she was doing and turned to give me her full attention. “What is it?”
I took a deep breath. “Marcus is dead.”
Her eyes widened, and her whole body stilled.
I waited.
“How?” she asked eventually, her voice shaky.
I was never one to beat around the bush, so I didn’t start now. “I killed him.”
Her hand flew to her mouth. “Oh, God.”
Still unable to tell if she was upset or just in shock, I waited to see what she would say next.
She grasped the chair at the kitchen table and collapsed into it, but didn’t say another word.
I sat next to her. “I’m not sorry I did it, and I would do it again, but I’m sorry if it hurts you. I never wanted that for you.”
Reaching out for me, she cupped my chin. “Donovan, it hurts but mostly because my son had such a bad father he felt it necessary to kill him.” Her voice cracked as she continued. “I did that to you, and for that I am sorry.”
I shook my head. “No, I don’t blame you for that, Mum.”
We sat together quietly, lost in our own thoughts, and I realised something. It’s easy to blame yourself for shit in your life and in the lives of those you love, but it just holds you back. Mum had blamed herself for Marcus for far too long, and I’d blamed myself for Ashley for too long as well, and both of us had stopped living our lives fully.
“We have to stop this shit,” I muttered, standing.
Looking up at me with a frown, she asked, “What?”
“All this blame. It gets us nowhere. Shit happened, and we survived it. We’re still breathing, but we’re not living. We need to stop blaming ourselves and get on with life.”
She stood, too. “When did you get so smart, baby?” she asked, softly.
“I don’t know, but I’m running with it.”
“Yeah, you’re right, it’s time to move forward.” She said the words, but I could hear the doubt in her voice. This was going to take her some time to deal with. Understandable seeing as Marcus had been a presence in her life for so long.
I embraced her, and when I let her go, I said, “I’ve got someone I want you to meet.”
A small smile brightened her face. “I thought you might.”
“How?”
“You’ve changed lately, and I’m pretty sure those kinds of changes are usually inspired by a good woman. You better bring her over soon, because I want to meet the woman who has helped you.”
“I’ll do that,” I promised.
I knew she would love Layla, and I was fairly confident Layla would love her, too.
A man was lucky if he had one good woman in his life.
I had two.
***
I left Mum’s house and drove to see Madison. She had the day off from work, so I was headed to her house. I’d spoken with her on the phone about Marcus, and even though she said she was okay with it, I wanted to watch her face while she spoke the words. That would tell me the truth.
She answered the door with a mixing bowl in her arms and flour all over her face. Smiling at me, she said, “Just in time, big brother, we’ve just put some cookies in the oven.”
“We?” I asked as I walked inside. The fact she was cooking concerned me. Was it a distraction from thinking about Marcus’s death?
“Me and Harlow.”
I kept walking as she talked and ended up in the kitchen where Harlow was washing up dishes. She turned to look at me, and I was stunned to see her haggard appearance. She’d lost weight since I’d last seen her, and exhaustion marred her features.
“Hi Blade,” she murmured.
I lifted my chin at her. “Harlow.”
She gave me a small smile before turning back to her dishes. I turned to Madison and widened my eyes questioningly. She shook her head at me; it was her way of saying she’d tell me later. I let it go. We had other things to discuss.
“Talk to me,” I said to Madison as I grabbed a stool at her breakfast bar.
She sighed. “I don’t know. I hated him in the end, Blade. You know that. I’ve already grieved the loss of my father. But to think he’s gone, and I’ll never see him again, I feel kinda sad even though I don’t want to.” Her voice cracked at the end, and I reached for her hand to pull her to me. I put my arms around her and held her.
