With shaking hands, I wrenched the faucet to hot, then began scrubbing the sticky dark mist from my face and hands. The water in the basin ran red for a while, then became clear. But no matter how hard I scraped, I could still feel his blood on me, and my movements became harder and faster as my anger grew. Faces filtered through my mind; Griffin, Faith, Dante, Garret. All gone. All taken away, either by Talon, St. George, or the war itself.
No, I thought, as my thoughts settled on one face in particular. The one that had been plaguing me ever since he left. That’s not entirely true. You drove him away. Don’t blame Talon or St. George. He’s not here now, because of you.
With an inner roar, I raised my fist and drove it into the face of the girl in the mirror. She fractured, shattering into pieces, dozens of accusing green eyes glaring at me over the sink. Gone, I thought in despair. They’re all gone. Garret, Dante, almost everyone I care about. How many more will I lose? How many more will I watch die right in front of me?
“Hey! Ember, stop.”
Strong hands closed around my wrists, pulling me away from the sink and out of the bathroom. My dragon snarled and surged up, ready to turn her rage and grief on something else, but Riley’s piercing gold eyes halted her.
“Stop,” he said again, his voice softer. “Firebrand, breathe. It’s just me.” I sucked in a deep breath, feeling the dragon subside, and Riley relaxed. “What happened?”
“I...don’t know. I just...” Biting my lip, I looked down at my hands and saw blood starting to well from my knuckles. Riley looked down, too, and grimaced.
“Come here,” he sighed, gently pulling me to the bed. “Sit.” I sat, and he retrieved the small first-aid kit I always carried in my bag now. I watched him drag up a stool and take my hand, then dab away the blood. I waited for the exasperation, for the questions as to why I had punched the mirror into oblivion, but he didn’t say anything.
“There,” he said, tying the last of the gauze around my hand. “That’s done. Try not to punch any more mirrors, Firebrand. You’ll jinx my luck.” His voice was light, but his eyes were still dark with concern. I slipped off the bed, flexing my fingers to test the range of motion.
“Thanks,” I said, forcing a smile. “I...uh...guess you wouldn’t believe me if I said there was this really big roach on the mirror, and I didn’t have a shoe handy—”
“Ember.” His voice was quiet, making my stomach dance. I looked back to find him gazing at me, all amusement gone from his face. “Why didn’t you tell me you haven’t been sleeping? You didn’t think I would want to know about that?”
I swallowed. “They’re just stupid nightmares,” I said, making him frown. “It’s not important. I’m fine, Riley. I can handle it.”
Swiftly, Riley rose, grabbed my wrist and held it up, watching me over the bandages. “This is not handling it, Firebrand,” he said firmly. “This is the opposite of fine.” Scowling, I pulled my arm back, and he narrowed his eyes. “Something is bothering you, and it’s been affecting you for a while. I want to know what. You’re exhausted and on edge, and if you keep going like this you’re going to explode. You nearly lost it with Griffin today, don’t think I didn’t notice.” When I didn’t answer, his brow furrowed. “Talk to me, Ember,” he urged. “What’s going on in that head of yours?”
“Nothing.”
I turned away, and he growled. “Dammit, Firebrand. Wait.” Fingers took my arm, strong and cool against my skin, and something inside me finally snapped.
I didn’t remember Shifting. Didn’t remember making that decision. But suddenly, I was in dragon form, my wings brushing the sides of the wall, and Riley was pressed against the bed, eyes wide as he stared at me. The hotel room abruptly felt tiny and cramped; my tail uncoiled, thumping the desk, and my talons dug into the cheap carpet as I leaned forward, crowding Riley and making him sit down on the mattress. Lowering my head, I gave a low, throaty growl that was both an invitation and a challenge, and Riley squeezed his eyes shut.
“Ember.” His voice was a rasp, and I saw a tremor go through him as he tried to keep the dragon down. His jaw was clenched, making it difficult to get out the words. “This...is not the time, or the place. Change back.”
I lashed my tail and snorted a curl of smoke in his face. I didn’t want to Shift back; I wanted Cobalt to come out. I knew he wanted to. I could feel it in the human’s ragged breathing, the way his hands clenched in the blankets. The past few weeks had been a mire of chaos and nightmare and emotion, but for once, my thoughts were clear. “Why?” I demanded, hoping the defiance would be enough to force Cobalt into the open. It wasn’t, and I bared my fangs at him.
No, I thought, as my thoughts settled on one face in particular. The one that had been plaguing me ever since he left. That’s not entirely true. You drove him away. Don’t blame Talon or St. George. He’s not here now, because of you.
With an inner roar, I raised my fist and drove it into the face of the girl in the mirror. She fractured, shattering into pieces, dozens of accusing green eyes glaring at me over the sink. Gone, I thought in despair. They’re all gone. Garret, Dante, almost everyone I care about. How many more will I lose? How many more will I watch die right in front of me?
“Hey! Ember, stop.”
Strong hands closed around my wrists, pulling me away from the sink and out of the bathroom. My dragon snarled and surged up, ready to turn her rage and grief on something else, but Riley’s piercing gold eyes halted her.
“Stop,” he said again, his voice softer. “Firebrand, breathe. It’s just me.” I sucked in a deep breath, feeling the dragon subside, and Riley relaxed. “What happened?”
“I...don’t know. I just...” Biting my lip, I looked down at my hands and saw blood starting to well from my knuckles. Riley looked down, too, and grimaced.
“Come here,” he sighed, gently pulling me to the bed. “Sit.” I sat, and he retrieved the small first-aid kit I always carried in my bag now. I watched him drag up a stool and take my hand, then dab away the blood. I waited for the exasperation, for the questions as to why I had punched the mirror into oblivion, but he didn’t say anything.
“There,” he said, tying the last of the gauze around my hand. “That’s done. Try not to punch any more mirrors, Firebrand. You’ll jinx my luck.” His voice was light, but his eyes were still dark with concern. I slipped off the bed, flexing my fingers to test the range of motion.
“Thanks,” I said, forcing a smile. “I...uh...guess you wouldn’t believe me if I said there was this really big roach on the mirror, and I didn’t have a shoe handy—”
“Ember.” His voice was quiet, making my stomach dance. I looked back to find him gazing at me, all amusement gone from his face. “Why didn’t you tell me you haven’t been sleeping? You didn’t think I would want to know about that?”
I swallowed. “They’re just stupid nightmares,” I said, making him frown. “It’s not important. I’m fine, Riley. I can handle it.”
Swiftly, Riley rose, grabbed my wrist and held it up, watching me over the bandages. “This is not handling it, Firebrand,” he said firmly. “This is the opposite of fine.” Scowling, I pulled my arm back, and he narrowed his eyes. “Something is bothering you, and it’s been affecting you for a while. I want to know what. You’re exhausted and on edge, and if you keep going like this you’re going to explode. You nearly lost it with Griffin today, don’t think I didn’t notice.” When I didn’t answer, his brow furrowed. “Talk to me, Ember,” he urged. “What’s going on in that head of yours?”
“Nothing.”
I turned away, and he growled. “Dammit, Firebrand. Wait.” Fingers took my arm, strong and cool against my skin, and something inside me finally snapped.
I didn’t remember Shifting. Didn’t remember making that decision. But suddenly, I was in dragon form, my wings brushing the sides of the wall, and Riley was pressed against the bed, eyes wide as he stared at me. The hotel room abruptly felt tiny and cramped; my tail uncoiled, thumping the desk, and my talons dug into the cheap carpet as I leaned forward, crowding Riley and making him sit down on the mattress. Lowering my head, I gave a low, throaty growl that was both an invitation and a challenge, and Riley squeezed his eyes shut.
“Ember.” His voice was a rasp, and I saw a tremor go through him as he tried to keep the dragon down. His jaw was clenched, making it difficult to get out the words. “This...is not the time, or the place. Change back.”
I lashed my tail and snorted a curl of smoke in his face. I didn’t want to Shift back; I wanted Cobalt to come out. I knew he wanted to. I could feel it in the human’s ragged breathing, the way his hands clenched in the blankets. The past few weeks had been a mire of chaos and nightmare and emotion, but for once, my thoughts were clear. “Why?” I demanded, hoping the defiance would be enough to force Cobalt into the open. It wasn’t, and I bared my fangs at him.
