Warily, I peeked up. The soldier met my gaze and offered a tired smile. “I wouldn’t go back,” he said softly, clearly. “Not with what I know now. Don’t wonder if this is worth it, Ember. It is. Even after all that’s happened, I still wouldn’t change it for anything.”
My heart turned over. He was giving me that look. That steady, soulful, faintly sad look that could melt me into a puddle at his feet. The one that said he didn’t care if I was a dragon and he was a soldier of St. George. I’d hurt him so badly, crushed his feelings, driven him away, and he still found it in him to return and help the girl who wasn’t sure she could ever love him back.
But he was being cautious now, not moving any closer, giving me the choice of staying put or walking away. A part of me knew I should walk away. Leave now, and make absolutely certain that he knew a dragon couldn’t feel the same.
Even though it was a complete, horrible lie.
For a moment, a heavy silence hung between us. Then the soldier let out a breath, like he’d finally come to a decision.
“I wanted to forget you,” he murmured, as my heart started thudding in my ears, reacting to his presence. I found myself easing forward, closing the distance between us, as Garret’s voice dropped even lower. “I wanted to convince myself that I had been wrong, that there was no way I could feel anything for something that wasn’t human.” He paused, and I bit the corner of my lip, knowing I had driven him there. To decide that I had been a monster, after all.
“I couldn’t,” he finally whispered. “You were the one who taught me to live, to take chances. For a while, I convinced myself that we were too different, and that it was better to let you go. But now, I’ve come to the realization that my life is probably going to be very short. And I want to spend it doing something that matters. With someone that matters. I don’t want to regret that I gave up without a fight.”
My heart seemed to stop. Garret paused, as if gathering his thoughts, or his courage, then took a deep breath. “I know I’ve made mistakes,” he continued, shaking his head. “But there’s still the chance for me to fix them. I shouldn’t have walked out that night.” His brow creased, a flicker of pain and regret going through his eyes. “Ember, I know you can’t feel what I do,” he said. “I get that. But...I want to be with you. And if that’s not possible, I’ll be content just to be close. Fighting Talon with you and Riley, helping people, saving other dragons from the Order—there is nothing I want more. And nowhere else I want to be.” His fingertips came to rest against the back of my hand, sending a zip of current through my whole body. “I’m done hiding,” he whispered. “Nothing has changed. I know we might not have a lot of time, but what we do have, I want to spend right here.”
“Garret...” My stomach was turning cartwheels, and the light touch across my hand was making it hard to think. There was so much I wanted to tell him. So much he needed to know. My dragon side would never accept him, she had already claimed someone else. And that someone else was supposedly my life-mate, only he didn’t know it yet.
Nothing has changed, he told me. But that wasn’t true. I wasn’t the same girl he’d met in Crescent Beach. I had killed. Not just in self-defense; I’d attacked with the full knowledge that I was going to murder people. Riley called it a war, and would say that it was either them or us, but that didn’t change the fact that I had entered battle with the intent to burn and savage and slaughter humans. Just like Talon wanted.
No, I realized suddenly. Not like Talon wanted. Talon wanted me to be a ruthless, coldhearted killer, a Viper like Lilith. They’d expected me to feel no remorse when it came to murdering humans, deceiving humans, manipulating humans. Even Dante, the twin I’d thought knew better than anyone, expected this. Emotions were a human thing; they had no place in the life of a dragon—that’s what Talon had taught us. The same organization that said humans were lesser beings, tools to be used and discarded. The same organization that suppressed any hints of independence and killed—quite literally—any thoughts of disloyalty. I had been struggling so hard with the knowledge that dragons weren’t supposed to feel, to love, like humans, but who had taught me that? Who had pounded that notion into my head until it became truth, something I didn’t question anymore?
Talon.
“Ember.” Garret’s voice was low and calm as I sat reeling with the sudden insight. “It’s all right. You don’t have to say anything. I just...wanted to let you know.” He rose smoothly, making no sound as he stood. I glanced up at him and saw his eyes were still kind, though a shadow hovered over his face. “Just think about it,” he said softly, drawing back. “I’ll still be here, whatever you decide.”
My heart turned over. He was giving me that look. That steady, soulful, faintly sad look that could melt me into a puddle at his feet. The one that said he didn’t care if I was a dragon and he was a soldier of St. George. I’d hurt him so badly, crushed his feelings, driven him away, and he still found it in him to return and help the girl who wasn’t sure she could ever love him back.
But he was being cautious now, not moving any closer, giving me the choice of staying put or walking away. A part of me knew I should walk away. Leave now, and make absolutely certain that he knew a dragon couldn’t feel the same.
Even though it was a complete, horrible lie.
For a moment, a heavy silence hung between us. Then the soldier let out a breath, like he’d finally come to a decision.
“I wanted to forget you,” he murmured, as my heart started thudding in my ears, reacting to his presence. I found myself easing forward, closing the distance between us, as Garret’s voice dropped even lower. “I wanted to convince myself that I had been wrong, that there was no way I could feel anything for something that wasn’t human.” He paused, and I bit the corner of my lip, knowing I had driven him there. To decide that I had been a monster, after all.
“I couldn’t,” he finally whispered. “You were the one who taught me to live, to take chances. For a while, I convinced myself that we were too different, and that it was better to let you go. But now, I’ve come to the realization that my life is probably going to be very short. And I want to spend it doing something that matters. With someone that matters. I don’t want to regret that I gave up without a fight.”
My heart seemed to stop. Garret paused, as if gathering his thoughts, or his courage, then took a deep breath. “I know I’ve made mistakes,” he continued, shaking his head. “But there’s still the chance for me to fix them. I shouldn’t have walked out that night.” His brow creased, a flicker of pain and regret going through his eyes. “Ember, I know you can’t feel what I do,” he said. “I get that. But...I want to be with you. And if that’s not possible, I’ll be content just to be close. Fighting Talon with you and Riley, helping people, saving other dragons from the Order—there is nothing I want more. And nowhere else I want to be.” His fingertips came to rest against the back of my hand, sending a zip of current through my whole body. “I’m done hiding,” he whispered. “Nothing has changed. I know we might not have a lot of time, but what we do have, I want to spend right here.”
“Garret...” My stomach was turning cartwheels, and the light touch across my hand was making it hard to think. There was so much I wanted to tell him. So much he needed to know. My dragon side would never accept him, she had already claimed someone else. And that someone else was supposedly my life-mate, only he didn’t know it yet.
Nothing has changed, he told me. But that wasn’t true. I wasn’t the same girl he’d met in Crescent Beach. I had killed. Not just in self-defense; I’d attacked with the full knowledge that I was going to murder people. Riley called it a war, and would say that it was either them or us, but that didn’t change the fact that I had entered battle with the intent to burn and savage and slaughter humans. Just like Talon wanted.
No, I realized suddenly. Not like Talon wanted. Talon wanted me to be a ruthless, coldhearted killer, a Viper like Lilith. They’d expected me to feel no remorse when it came to murdering humans, deceiving humans, manipulating humans. Even Dante, the twin I’d thought knew better than anyone, expected this. Emotions were a human thing; they had no place in the life of a dragon—that’s what Talon had taught us. The same organization that said humans were lesser beings, tools to be used and discarded. The same organization that suppressed any hints of independence and killed—quite literally—any thoughts of disloyalty. I had been struggling so hard with the knowledge that dragons weren’t supposed to feel, to love, like humans, but who had taught me that? Who had pounded that notion into my head until it became truth, something I didn’t question anymore?
Talon.
“Ember.” Garret’s voice was low and calm as I sat reeling with the sudden insight. “It’s all right. You don’t have to say anything. I just...wanted to let you know.” He rose smoothly, making no sound as he stood. I glanced up at him and saw his eyes were still kind, though a shadow hovered over his face. “Just think about it,” he said softly, drawing back. “I’ll still be here, whatever you decide.”
