Something for the Pain
Page 2
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You have got to be shitting me.
Her words stop my fucking heart, taking me a few seconds to respond. “Please tell me you said no.” I take a long swig of my beer and swallow, before taking another one, while looking her straight in the eyes. The way my heart is racing right now is making me uncomfortable, leaving me uneasy. I don’t like where this conversation is headed. “You did say no, right?”
“Alex! Why would I say no? This is a great opportunity to get out of my aunt’s house. I just turned twenty-one. Who in their right mind would choose staying at home over freedom? Come on.”
“I’ll give you one good reason. The only one that you need, and you know I would never steer you wrong.”
She leans over the table and puts her face close to mine. Her eyes bounce back and forth between mine, challenging me. “Oh yeah, Alex Carter. What is that reason? You always seem to know what’s best for me. Go ahead, enlighten me.”
I lean in closer so my lips are almost brushing hers, then I stop and wet them. I see her eyes dart down to my lips before she looks up nervously and focuses her attention back on my eyes. In a small moment of weakness, I almost flick my tongue out and run it across her lips, but stop myself from making that mistake. “You’ve been dating for less than a year. You’re too young to move in with a guy, with this guy. It’s a horrible idea. I don’t agree with this shit, Tripp. I can’t.”
She rubs her nose against mine, before kissing it and smiling as if she already knew exactly what I was going to say and already has her answer perfectly planned out. I’m not surprised. “That is exactly why we will have separate rooms. It’s a three-bedroom home with an indoor and outdoor pool. It even has an extra room, big enough for a pool table and gym equipment . . . or anything that you want. It’s the perfect party house. We are young and wild, right. I want to live that way for once. It’s time to have fun and loosen up before settling down and doing this grown up shit.”
Running my hand through my hair, I take a drink of my beer and shake my head in aggravation. “I don’t like the idea of you guys living alone together, Tripp. I know you’re not exactly a couple, but he might start to get possessive of you once he gets that taste of what it’s like to have you every day. I don’t trust you in his hands. He doesn’t deserve you and my opinion on that won’t change.”
“Are you serious, Alex?” She sounds a bit shocked and confused. She’s not too happy with me at the moment, but she’ll get over it and see my point of view. She usually does. I’m always honest with her, even if it does hurt her feelings. I can’t be anything but. Honesty is what she needs. “I have known Lucas since I was fifteen. You have known him since you were sixteen. I don’t get what your problem is.”
“Yeah, and I have known you since I was eight. It’s my job to protect you. I don’t see you guys moving in together as being a good idea. I don’t like it and I don’t think you should do it.”
She stands up and walks over to slide next to me in the booth. She wraps her arms around my waist and leans her head on my shoulder, looking up at me. “What if I told you that it wouldn’t just be the two of us? Would it make you feel any better about it?”
I tilt my head down and strain my eyes to look into hers. I like that idea just a little bit more than the first, but it’s still not enough for me to like it, however I’ll let her finish anyway. “I’m listening.”
“We want you to move in with us. My first place just wouldn’t seem right without you being there. It will be fun. I promise.”
I let out a breath of frustration and shake my head. I didn’t see this shit coming and I really have no idea what to think. “It sounds complicated as shit, babe. The three of us as roommates . . . and he’s okay with that? You don’t see him getting jealous when I walk around the house nude and shit, getting your attention? I wouldn’t want to put him to shame. It might crush his spirit.”
She elbows me in the side, causing me to jump away and spit out the drink of beer that I had just taken. Looking down at my now wet shirt, she covers her mouth and laughs. “You don’t walk around nude, so shut up.” She sits up and looks at me with questioning eyes, as I lift my eyebrows in disagreement. Someone’s curiosity is piqued. “Or do you? Have I been missing something?”
“You really want to find out?” I question with a smirk.
She lets out a nervous laugh before turning around in the booth to face me, pressing her knee against my leg. She grabs my thigh and squeezes it to let me know she wants me to get serious. “Look. You know what kind of relationship Lucas and I have. What part of that makes you think he will get jealous? Plus, he knows we are only friends. We spend every day together and he has never once complained. We have an understanding for the time being and it works. Trust me.”
I lean back against the wall and steel my jaw, while studying her eyes. Everything about them makes me want to break down. “Yeah. I still don’t agree on your little arrangement, but because I know you so well, I understand. I just wish it could be different.”
Tripp has had a shitty childhood, and I don’t blame her for not getting close to many people. I understand that way too much. Her druggie parents abandoned her at the age of seven and she has been living with her aunt Tara since. When I met her, she felt alone and crushed. Her aunt had a job that kept her busy most of the time and she had no other family. I became her family. I took care of her.
When her and Lucas hooked up less than a year ago and it started getting emotionally weighted, she told him she wasn’t ready to commit, but that she really liked him. She just couldn’t let him in, or open up. In turn she felt selfish for not being able to give him all of her time, so she decided it was best to not get serious for a while. They both agreed on an open relationship as long as they were both honest with each other. I didn’t like it then and I still don’t.
Most of all I hated that she had to be so selfless to make him happy. If he cared about her enough, then he shouldn’t have agreed to the ridiculous shit they are—using one another. He should have just told her he would wait for her. I would have.
She squeezes my leg tighter and scoots closer. “I know. I know. I asked him to just be patient and give us a year. We are both young and I’m in no rush to be anything serious. I know you don't understand the reasoning behind why Lucas and I have this relationship. It just works for us. I don't feel pressure for more and it's fun. I don't feel like I have to pretend with him like so many others, you know. He doesn't push me or take more than I'm willing to give. We’re both okay with that.” She stops to flash me a devilish grin. “Hell . . . we even mess around with other people sometimes just to get worked up for each other. It’s such a damn rush. So as you can see there is nothing for Lucas to be jealous about when he can take it out on someone else. It will be fine.”
Her words stop my fucking heart, taking me a few seconds to respond. “Please tell me you said no.” I take a long swig of my beer and swallow, before taking another one, while looking her straight in the eyes. The way my heart is racing right now is making me uncomfortable, leaving me uneasy. I don’t like where this conversation is headed. “You did say no, right?”
“Alex! Why would I say no? This is a great opportunity to get out of my aunt’s house. I just turned twenty-one. Who in their right mind would choose staying at home over freedom? Come on.”
“I’ll give you one good reason. The only one that you need, and you know I would never steer you wrong.”
She leans over the table and puts her face close to mine. Her eyes bounce back and forth between mine, challenging me. “Oh yeah, Alex Carter. What is that reason? You always seem to know what’s best for me. Go ahead, enlighten me.”
I lean in closer so my lips are almost brushing hers, then I stop and wet them. I see her eyes dart down to my lips before she looks up nervously and focuses her attention back on my eyes. In a small moment of weakness, I almost flick my tongue out and run it across her lips, but stop myself from making that mistake. “You’ve been dating for less than a year. You’re too young to move in with a guy, with this guy. It’s a horrible idea. I don’t agree with this shit, Tripp. I can’t.”
She rubs her nose against mine, before kissing it and smiling as if she already knew exactly what I was going to say and already has her answer perfectly planned out. I’m not surprised. “That is exactly why we will have separate rooms. It’s a three-bedroom home with an indoor and outdoor pool. It even has an extra room, big enough for a pool table and gym equipment . . . or anything that you want. It’s the perfect party house. We are young and wild, right. I want to live that way for once. It’s time to have fun and loosen up before settling down and doing this grown up shit.”
Running my hand through my hair, I take a drink of my beer and shake my head in aggravation. “I don’t like the idea of you guys living alone together, Tripp. I know you’re not exactly a couple, but he might start to get possessive of you once he gets that taste of what it’s like to have you every day. I don’t trust you in his hands. He doesn’t deserve you and my opinion on that won’t change.”
“Are you serious, Alex?” She sounds a bit shocked and confused. She’s not too happy with me at the moment, but she’ll get over it and see my point of view. She usually does. I’m always honest with her, even if it does hurt her feelings. I can’t be anything but. Honesty is what she needs. “I have known Lucas since I was fifteen. You have known him since you were sixteen. I don’t get what your problem is.”
“Yeah, and I have known you since I was eight. It’s my job to protect you. I don’t see you guys moving in together as being a good idea. I don’t like it and I don’t think you should do it.”
She stands up and walks over to slide next to me in the booth. She wraps her arms around my waist and leans her head on my shoulder, looking up at me. “What if I told you that it wouldn’t just be the two of us? Would it make you feel any better about it?”
I tilt my head down and strain my eyes to look into hers. I like that idea just a little bit more than the first, but it’s still not enough for me to like it, however I’ll let her finish anyway. “I’m listening.”
“We want you to move in with us. My first place just wouldn’t seem right without you being there. It will be fun. I promise.”
I let out a breath of frustration and shake my head. I didn’t see this shit coming and I really have no idea what to think. “It sounds complicated as shit, babe. The three of us as roommates . . . and he’s okay with that? You don’t see him getting jealous when I walk around the house nude and shit, getting your attention? I wouldn’t want to put him to shame. It might crush his spirit.”
She elbows me in the side, causing me to jump away and spit out the drink of beer that I had just taken. Looking down at my now wet shirt, she covers her mouth and laughs. “You don’t walk around nude, so shut up.” She sits up and looks at me with questioning eyes, as I lift my eyebrows in disagreement. Someone’s curiosity is piqued. “Or do you? Have I been missing something?”
“You really want to find out?” I question with a smirk.
She lets out a nervous laugh before turning around in the booth to face me, pressing her knee against my leg. She grabs my thigh and squeezes it to let me know she wants me to get serious. “Look. You know what kind of relationship Lucas and I have. What part of that makes you think he will get jealous? Plus, he knows we are only friends. We spend every day together and he has never once complained. We have an understanding for the time being and it works. Trust me.”
I lean back against the wall and steel my jaw, while studying her eyes. Everything about them makes me want to break down. “Yeah. I still don’t agree on your little arrangement, but because I know you so well, I understand. I just wish it could be different.”
Tripp has had a shitty childhood, and I don’t blame her for not getting close to many people. I understand that way too much. Her druggie parents abandoned her at the age of seven and she has been living with her aunt Tara since. When I met her, she felt alone and crushed. Her aunt had a job that kept her busy most of the time and she had no other family. I became her family. I took care of her.
When her and Lucas hooked up less than a year ago and it started getting emotionally weighted, she told him she wasn’t ready to commit, but that she really liked him. She just couldn’t let him in, or open up. In turn she felt selfish for not being able to give him all of her time, so she decided it was best to not get serious for a while. They both agreed on an open relationship as long as they were both honest with each other. I didn’t like it then and I still don’t.
Most of all I hated that she had to be so selfless to make him happy. If he cared about her enough, then he shouldn’t have agreed to the ridiculous shit they are—using one another. He should have just told her he would wait for her. I would have.
She squeezes my leg tighter and scoots closer. “I know. I know. I asked him to just be patient and give us a year. We are both young and I’m in no rush to be anything serious. I know you don't understand the reasoning behind why Lucas and I have this relationship. It just works for us. I don't feel pressure for more and it's fun. I don't feel like I have to pretend with him like so many others, you know. He doesn't push me or take more than I'm willing to give. We’re both okay with that.” She stops to flash me a devilish grin. “Hell . . . we even mess around with other people sometimes just to get worked up for each other. It’s such a damn rush. So as you can see there is nothing for Lucas to be jealous about when he can take it out on someone else. It will be fine.”
