Something for the Pain
Page 47

I spin around to see Alex giving me a hard look. “Where are you going?”
“I’m not really up for partying. I’m going to my room.”
I try to pull my hand from his grip and walk away, but Alex squeezes my hand tighter. “Stay with me.” His jaw flexes as his eyes lock with mine. “I want you with me.” He tilts his head toward the fire. “Let’s go, babe.”
Not able to say no to Alex, I begin walking along with him. I notice that we’re still holding hands and attempt to pull away, but he grabs my hand tighter, lacing his strong fingers with mine. I look down at his tattooed hand holding mine and my heart swells. It’s a beautiful sight and I want it . . . forever.
He doesn’t release my hand, even when we get lost in the crowd surrounding the fire. His thumb begins to gently rub mine as if trying to relax me. I appreciate the gesture, but all it does is wind me up tighter, making me want him even more.
“Play a song, Alex.” An attractive blonde appears next to Alex and claps her hands excitedly. Her smile falters when she looks down to see his hand entwined with mine. That definitely doesn’t please her.
She has a fresh tattoo of a tree on her ribcage and it doesn’t take a genius to see that it’s Alex’s work. It’s fucking beautiful and so is she. It makes my heart hurt so bad that it stops for a second.
I catch Alex off guard, yanking my hand away from his. “Yeah, good idea.”
He tilts his head to the side and clenches his jaw as if aggravated at me that I pulled away. “Give me a minute, Divinity.” His voice is a little harsher than usual, but it doesn’t seem to faze the girl.
The cute blonde just smiles flirtatiously at him and then does this little ass shake as she walks back over to join her group of girls.
“Are you okay?” Alex grabs my hand and stops me from twirling my ring. “I don’t like seeing you like this.”
He smiles when I don’t answer. “I wrote a song. You know I can’t write for shit, but I’m going to sing it anyway.” He starts backing away to his guitar. “And I better see a damn smile on that beautiful face when I’m done.”
A small smile tries to take over as he reaches for his guitar and takes a seat on one of the tree trunks, but I force it back. I don’t want to cave too soon, especially when he hasn’t even played anything yet.
Everyone starts clapping as he plays this fun little tune that I’ve never heard. He stops in the middle of it and takes a swig of his beer, before playing again.
Everyone quiets down and listens as he starts to sing.
“It’s been a while since I’ve known you, but it will never be too long.
A lot has happened, yet you’ve always stuck around.
From that day of pain I was deadened and frail, wandering along on a never ending trail.
Meaningless quests were the rules of my game, then I had a taste of you . . . and since—I haven't been the same.
I'm breathing you in, it's tearing me down.
My breaths become shaky and slightly rundown.
But it's okay, 'cause I don't want to be saved.
This pain inside is a part of you I crave. Burning slow, lighting a fire within, but it's alright because I'm still breathing, breathing you in.
I was supposed to protect you from guys like me but you're the only girl that can fulfill my needs.
You’re my little red firecracker . . .”
He repeats this a couple of times, my heart beating so damn fast that I have to hold my chest to keep it from bursting through. His words, his mouth, his voice . . . so damn beautiful that it hurts.
He may think that he can’t write for shit, but to me his words are the most beautiful that I’ve ever heard before, because they came from him.
Little red firecracker . . .
I don’t even realize when the song ends, because I’m still lost in my own little world, slightly insane and imagining that the song could possibly be about me. I’m sure he just added the firecracker part to put me in a better mood, or I’m just giving it a double meaning when in fact it would be no different than him singing it to another friend. Those are the only reasonable explanations.
Whatever the reason, I’m smiling so big that it hurts.
Alex appears next to me, grabbing my chin and tilting it up. “There we go. There’s that fucking smile that I needed.” He throws his arm around me and pulls me against his side. “Now let’s enjoy this night, firecracker.”
I try to speak, but every time I look at him I smile even bigger, unable to contain it, so I just nod my head and quickly ask for a drink.
I might need a few of those Daiquiris now . . .
I CAN’T WRITE FOR SHIT and I know my song was crap, but it put a smile on her face and that’s all that matters to me. That damn song is probably the closest that I’ll get to being able to tell her how I truly feel. I threw it together in fifteen minutes, so there’s more that I wanted to say, but didn’t.
The party is coming to an end now, and seeing her relaxed and having fun with Harley makes me so fucking happy. I can’t stop smiling like an idiot as I watch them dancing together and laughing.
“Dude . . .” Ace appears next to me, tilting back his drink. “You’ve got it bad, man.”
I don’t even bother denying it this time, because even a blind person can see how much I love that girl. “I do . . . really fucking bad.”
Ace smiles and turns his attention to the girls. “Harley is looking damn beautiful tonight.”
I nudge his shoulder. “Then why the hell aren’t you over there, bro?”
He finishes off his drink and crushes the cup. “Because I’m not good enough for her.” It’s the first honest, sincere thing that I’ve heard out of his mouth since I’ve known him.
I finish off my own drink and squeeze his shoulder. “Then learn to be . . .”
With that, I walk away wishing that I could do the same. I may not be able to give Tripp everything that she needs, but for tonight, I can give her me.
Ace takes my lead and makes his way over to Harley once I pull Tripp away and start leading her inside. The party can find its way out.
Tripp wraps her arms around me as soon as we close the door behind us. “I feel like swimming.” She grips my shirt and starts pulling me toward the pool room. “Let’s swim, Alex.”
I watch her as she quickly strips down to her bra and panties, turns around to smile at me, and then jumps into the water, splashing me.