The longing swelled inside her until it felt like it would bend her ribs outward, crack them, swallow her heart.
But Mom wouldn’t ever be home again.
Stupid, Nadia thought again. So stupid.
Then she pulled herself together and walked inside with an almost-believable smile.
“So, like, I felt like everybody else was doing it, okay? And it’s not like I actually wanted to steal Jinnie’s phone. It’s not even that good a phone.” Kendall was the last one taking her turn around the circle in what was usually chemistry class. Today, it was a weird therapy session about not acting on inappropriate urges, and mob mentality, or something like that. “But, like, everyone else was doing something, and I figured I ought to do something, and that’s what I did.”
Nadia sighed. The overwhelming sense of unease she usually felt in the lab had been completely buried by boredom. Everyone in class, including the Piranha, had been forced to come up with some reason why they’d lost it yesterday. Since nobody knew the real reason was a magic spell, their excuses made no sense whatsoever. Some people blamed their ADD meds; one guy thought they might have accidentally made some kind of drug using the chemicals for their experiment, though the Piranha said this was impossible.
Faye Walsh crossed her arms in front of her. With her chic aquamarine wrap dress and high heels, the only sign that she wasn’t totally confident and in charge was the little worried line between her eyebrows. “Okay. I don’t know that we got at the root cause of what happened here, but this isn’t about blame or punishment. Somehow, somebody got out of control, and everybody else went along with that. What was needed here was a little more self-discipline. Maybe somebody with the courage to stand up and say, ‘What’s going on?’”
Nadia hugged herself and glanced directly across the circle—where Mateo sat. He was already looking at her. Their eyes met instantly, and the doubt she saw there pierced her through.
But he had to have noticed the same thing she had: Elizabeth wasn’t in chemistry class today. As far as Nadia could tell, she simply hadn’t shown up for school.
And neither their teacher nor Ms. Walsh had said anything about it.
The bell rang, and Ms. Walsh said, “Okay, everybody, good session.”
“Tomorrow we’re picking up the labs where we left off!” the Piranha said loudly.
From his place next to Nadia, Jeremy Prasad muttered, “She thinks she can get her dignity back if she shouts enough.”
“You’re the one who started taking your clothes off,” Nadia said, grabbing her stuff.
Undaunted, Jeremy grinned at her. He really would have a gorgeous smile if he weren’t such an ass. “You noticed, huh? Guess you liked the view.”
“Spare me.”
She’d assumed Mateo would be avoiding her, but as she walked toward the door, she realized he was hanging back—waiting for her. Nadia hesitated, but only for a moment. “Hey,” she said, as he fell in step beside her.
“Hey. Listen—yesterday—I’m sorry I freaked out like that.”
Was he starting to doubt Elizabeth after all? Had she left too early last night? A wild, painful thumping quickened in Nadia’s chest.
But then he added, “You’re wrong about Elizabeth. But I can see why you’d have to ask. Weird things are going on, Elizabeth’s the only other wi—the only other, um, w-i-t-c-h you know of around here, and so you’d have to figure out if they’re connected. But they aren’t.”
Nadia managed to smile. “I think most people can spell witch by now.” Mateo laughed once, more in surprise than anything else, though he glanced around to see if they were being overheard. “Don’t freak about it. Remember the cafeteria yesterday? You’d be amazed how much people aren’t paying attention to what happens right in front of them.”
“Okay.”
They stepped onto the grounds together, the big quad between the school’s buildings. Different groups were gathering for the lunch break—the rich kids from the Hill glossy and bright around one of the picnic tables, the jocks laughing loudly about a stupid joke, the drama geeks gathering around somebody’s tablet to watch some video or other. Nadia didn’t know whether to go into the cafeteria, or to stand there and wait for Verlaine, or to start talking; the tension between her and Mateo still crackled like static electricity. Amid all this noise and activity, they were motionless. Together alone.
Mateo finally said, “Do you think it’s possible Elizabeth’s in trouble?”
Be objective, Nadia told herself. “It’s possible,” she admitted. “At this point, anything’s possible.”
He didn’t hear the warning in her words. “Like you said, girls aren’t supposed to tell guys about witchcraft. So Elizabeth can’t tell me what she knows. And she couldn’t tell me if she were in danger from whatever is going on in this town.”
“That could be completely true.” Nadia wondered how she’d feel if it really were true. The important thing was to keep an open mind until she knew more—but it was worth finding out how much Elizabeth herself knew. “Did you tell her? About your being a Steadfast, about finding out about magic? About me?”
It was so easy to imagine—that clutch in the twilight, Elizabeth in Mateo’s arms as he confessed everything—
But Mateo shook his head. “I wanted to. But—I know it’s not only my secret to tell. It’s yours, too. I think we can trust Elizabeth. You have to think so, too, though. When you’re sure, we’ll go to her together.”
But Mom wouldn’t ever be home again.
Stupid, Nadia thought again. So stupid.
Then she pulled herself together and walked inside with an almost-believable smile.
“So, like, I felt like everybody else was doing it, okay? And it’s not like I actually wanted to steal Jinnie’s phone. It’s not even that good a phone.” Kendall was the last one taking her turn around the circle in what was usually chemistry class. Today, it was a weird therapy session about not acting on inappropriate urges, and mob mentality, or something like that. “But, like, everyone else was doing something, and I figured I ought to do something, and that’s what I did.”
Nadia sighed. The overwhelming sense of unease she usually felt in the lab had been completely buried by boredom. Everyone in class, including the Piranha, had been forced to come up with some reason why they’d lost it yesterday. Since nobody knew the real reason was a magic spell, their excuses made no sense whatsoever. Some people blamed their ADD meds; one guy thought they might have accidentally made some kind of drug using the chemicals for their experiment, though the Piranha said this was impossible.
Faye Walsh crossed her arms in front of her. With her chic aquamarine wrap dress and high heels, the only sign that she wasn’t totally confident and in charge was the little worried line between her eyebrows. “Okay. I don’t know that we got at the root cause of what happened here, but this isn’t about blame or punishment. Somehow, somebody got out of control, and everybody else went along with that. What was needed here was a little more self-discipline. Maybe somebody with the courage to stand up and say, ‘What’s going on?’”
Nadia hugged herself and glanced directly across the circle—where Mateo sat. He was already looking at her. Their eyes met instantly, and the doubt she saw there pierced her through.
But he had to have noticed the same thing she had: Elizabeth wasn’t in chemistry class today. As far as Nadia could tell, she simply hadn’t shown up for school.
And neither their teacher nor Ms. Walsh had said anything about it.
The bell rang, and Ms. Walsh said, “Okay, everybody, good session.”
“Tomorrow we’re picking up the labs where we left off!” the Piranha said loudly.
From his place next to Nadia, Jeremy Prasad muttered, “She thinks she can get her dignity back if she shouts enough.”
“You’re the one who started taking your clothes off,” Nadia said, grabbing her stuff.
Undaunted, Jeremy grinned at her. He really would have a gorgeous smile if he weren’t such an ass. “You noticed, huh? Guess you liked the view.”
“Spare me.”
She’d assumed Mateo would be avoiding her, but as she walked toward the door, she realized he was hanging back—waiting for her. Nadia hesitated, but only for a moment. “Hey,” she said, as he fell in step beside her.
“Hey. Listen—yesterday—I’m sorry I freaked out like that.”
Was he starting to doubt Elizabeth after all? Had she left too early last night? A wild, painful thumping quickened in Nadia’s chest.
But then he added, “You’re wrong about Elizabeth. But I can see why you’d have to ask. Weird things are going on, Elizabeth’s the only other wi—the only other, um, w-i-t-c-h you know of around here, and so you’d have to figure out if they’re connected. But they aren’t.”
Nadia managed to smile. “I think most people can spell witch by now.” Mateo laughed once, more in surprise than anything else, though he glanced around to see if they were being overheard. “Don’t freak about it. Remember the cafeteria yesterday? You’d be amazed how much people aren’t paying attention to what happens right in front of them.”
“Okay.”
They stepped onto the grounds together, the big quad between the school’s buildings. Different groups were gathering for the lunch break—the rich kids from the Hill glossy and bright around one of the picnic tables, the jocks laughing loudly about a stupid joke, the drama geeks gathering around somebody’s tablet to watch some video or other. Nadia didn’t know whether to go into the cafeteria, or to stand there and wait for Verlaine, or to start talking; the tension between her and Mateo still crackled like static electricity. Amid all this noise and activity, they were motionless. Together alone.
Mateo finally said, “Do you think it’s possible Elizabeth’s in trouble?”
Be objective, Nadia told herself. “It’s possible,” she admitted. “At this point, anything’s possible.”
He didn’t hear the warning in her words. “Like you said, girls aren’t supposed to tell guys about witchcraft. So Elizabeth can’t tell me what she knows. And she couldn’t tell me if she were in danger from whatever is going on in this town.”
“That could be completely true.” Nadia wondered how she’d feel if it really were true. The important thing was to keep an open mind until she knew more—but it was worth finding out how much Elizabeth herself knew. “Did you tell her? About your being a Steadfast, about finding out about magic? About me?”
It was so easy to imagine—that clutch in the twilight, Elizabeth in Mateo’s arms as he confessed everything—
But Mateo shook his head. “I wanted to. But—I know it’s not only my secret to tell. It’s yours, too. I think we can trust Elizabeth. You have to think so, too, though. When you’re sure, we’ll go to her together.”
