Sentries led them down the path to the four gates. Tamani followed silently behind Laurel, not touching her at all. Laurel hated being like this with him, but she didn’t know what else to do. Her two worlds, two lives that she tried so hard to keep separate, were crashing together. And she felt helpless to stop it.
TWENTY-FOUR
SILENT AND BROODING, LAUREL AND TAMANI passed through the gateway. The familiar brigade of sentries greeted them. Shar stepped forward and glared at Laurel as he addressed Tamani. “We have a visitor.”
“Trolls?” Tamani stiffened and pushed Laurel back toward the sparkling gate. “Laurel, back to Avalon.”
Shar rolled his eyes. “Not trolls, Tam. Do you think we’d have let you through if there were trolls waiting?”
Tamani sighed and dropped his hands. “Of course not. I didn’t think.”
“It’s the human boy. The one who was here last autumn.”
“David?” Laurel said, her voice weak. How did he find out?
Shar nodded as Tamani’s jaw stiffened. “I’ll take her to him,” Tamani said, stepping forward. “Where is he?”
“He’s keeping his distance,” Shar said, gesturing vaguely with his head. “Out by the house.”
“I’ll be back,” Tamani said, wrapping his hand around Laurel’s upper arm and pulling her in the direction of the cabin. As soon as they were out of sight of the gate, he dropped his arm.
“I want to talk to him,” Tamani said, his voice low.
“No!” Laurel insisted. “You can’t.”
“I want to know what he’s doing to help keep you safe,” Tamani said, not meeting her eyes. “That’s all.”
“Absolutely not,” Laurel said through clenched teeth.
“How much are you going to throw away over David?” Tamani asked, exasperated. “Me, obviously. But what else? Your life? Your parents’ lives? Even David’s life, so I don’t come in and put a hitch in your little romance? I just want to talk to him.”
“You want to intimidate him. Threaten his position. I know you, Tamani.”
“I may as well, since he’s here,” Tamani growled, glancing up the path.
“I didn’t ask him to come,” Laurel said, not quite sure why she felt compelled to justify herself.
Tamani was silent.
“He shouldn’t be off work yet. He shouldn’t even know I’m here.”
Tamani stopped abruptly and turned. “You lied to him?” His face was unreadable.
“I—”
“You lied to him to come out and see me?” Tamani laughed. “You lied for me. I feel special.” His voice was sharp and harsh, but there was something else behind it. Appreciation. Satisfaction.
Laurel scoffed and started to walk away. “Don’t even think that; it wasn’t for you.”
Tamani grabbed her arm and whirled her around so quickly she stumbled forward against his chest. He didn’t try to embrace her, just held her arms as she stood sprawled across him. “Wasn’t it? Tell me you don’t love me.”
Laurel’s mouth moved, but she said nothing.
“Tell me,” he said, his voice sharp and demanding. “Tell me David is all you need or want in your life.” His face was close to her, his soft breath caressing her face. “That you never think of me when you’re kissing him. That you don’t dream about me the way I dream about you. Tell me you don’t love me.”
She looked up at him, desperation consuming her. Her mouth felt dry, parched, and the words she tried to force out wouldn’t come.
“You can’t even say it,” he said, his arms pulling her in now instead of holding her steady. “Then love me, Laurel. Just love me!”
His face was filled with a yearning she could hardly bear. She couldn’t leave him again. Not like this—not now that he knew. Why couldn’t she hide it better? Why did she keep coming back when she couldn’t stay? It was hurting him more than it was hurting her. How was that love? Love wasn’t supposed to be selfish.
His lips were on her face now, in her hair. It was as if every emotion he had stifled, every temptation he’d resisted, had burst forth like a roaring river. And the current threatened to carry her away.
She forced herself to open her eyes. It didn’t matter what she felt—she couldn’t be with him. Not now. As long as she lived in the human world anything with Tamani would only be halfway. She would hate it and—even though she knew he would disagree—eventually, he would resent her for it. She wasn’t ready to leave her human life behind. She wanted to graduate from high school and decide for herself what to do after that. She had family and friends and a life to live—a life she couldn’t live with Tamani. She closed her eyes again, forcing away the dream of him. It wouldn’t be a dream; it wouldn’t have a happy ending. She had to send him away.
It was now or never.
“I don’t love you,” she whispered, almost losing her nerve with his mouth against her neck.
“Yes, Laurel, you do,” he whispered, his lips brushing her ear now.
“I don’t,” she said, her voice stronger now, finally accepting what had to be done. She put both hands on his chest and pressed back firmly. “I don’t love you. I have to go back. And you are not coming with me.”
She turned before she could change her mind.
“Laurel—”
TWENTY-FOUR
SILENT AND BROODING, LAUREL AND TAMANI passed through the gateway. The familiar brigade of sentries greeted them. Shar stepped forward and glared at Laurel as he addressed Tamani. “We have a visitor.”
“Trolls?” Tamani stiffened and pushed Laurel back toward the sparkling gate. “Laurel, back to Avalon.”
Shar rolled his eyes. “Not trolls, Tam. Do you think we’d have let you through if there were trolls waiting?”
Tamani sighed and dropped his hands. “Of course not. I didn’t think.”
“It’s the human boy. The one who was here last autumn.”
“David?” Laurel said, her voice weak. How did he find out?
Shar nodded as Tamani’s jaw stiffened. “I’ll take her to him,” Tamani said, stepping forward. “Where is he?”
“He’s keeping his distance,” Shar said, gesturing vaguely with his head. “Out by the house.”
“I’ll be back,” Tamani said, wrapping his hand around Laurel’s upper arm and pulling her in the direction of the cabin. As soon as they were out of sight of the gate, he dropped his arm.
“I want to talk to him,” Tamani said, his voice low.
“No!” Laurel insisted. “You can’t.”
“I want to know what he’s doing to help keep you safe,” Tamani said, not meeting her eyes. “That’s all.”
“Absolutely not,” Laurel said through clenched teeth.
“How much are you going to throw away over David?” Tamani asked, exasperated. “Me, obviously. But what else? Your life? Your parents’ lives? Even David’s life, so I don’t come in and put a hitch in your little romance? I just want to talk to him.”
“You want to intimidate him. Threaten his position. I know you, Tamani.”
“I may as well, since he’s here,” Tamani growled, glancing up the path.
“I didn’t ask him to come,” Laurel said, not quite sure why she felt compelled to justify herself.
Tamani was silent.
“He shouldn’t be off work yet. He shouldn’t even know I’m here.”
Tamani stopped abruptly and turned. “You lied to him?” His face was unreadable.
“I—”
“You lied to him to come out and see me?” Tamani laughed. “You lied for me. I feel special.” His voice was sharp and harsh, but there was something else behind it. Appreciation. Satisfaction.
Laurel scoffed and started to walk away. “Don’t even think that; it wasn’t for you.”
Tamani grabbed her arm and whirled her around so quickly she stumbled forward against his chest. He didn’t try to embrace her, just held her arms as she stood sprawled across him. “Wasn’t it? Tell me you don’t love me.”
Laurel’s mouth moved, but she said nothing.
“Tell me,” he said, his voice sharp and demanding. “Tell me David is all you need or want in your life.” His face was close to her, his soft breath caressing her face. “That you never think of me when you’re kissing him. That you don’t dream about me the way I dream about you. Tell me you don’t love me.”
She looked up at him, desperation consuming her. Her mouth felt dry, parched, and the words she tried to force out wouldn’t come.
“You can’t even say it,” he said, his arms pulling her in now instead of holding her steady. “Then love me, Laurel. Just love me!”
His face was filled with a yearning she could hardly bear. She couldn’t leave him again. Not like this—not now that he knew. Why couldn’t she hide it better? Why did she keep coming back when she couldn’t stay? It was hurting him more than it was hurting her. How was that love? Love wasn’t supposed to be selfish.
His lips were on her face now, in her hair. It was as if every emotion he had stifled, every temptation he’d resisted, had burst forth like a roaring river. And the current threatened to carry her away.
She forced herself to open her eyes. It didn’t matter what she felt—she couldn’t be with him. Not now. As long as she lived in the human world anything with Tamani would only be halfway. She would hate it and—even though she knew he would disagree—eventually, he would resent her for it. She wasn’t ready to leave her human life behind. She wanted to graduate from high school and decide for herself what to do after that. She had family and friends and a life to live—a life she couldn’t live with Tamani. She closed her eyes again, forcing away the dream of him. It wouldn’t be a dream; it wouldn’t have a happy ending. She had to send him away.
It was now or never.
“I don’t love you,” she whispered, almost losing her nerve with his mouth against her neck.
“Yes, Laurel, you do,” he whispered, his lips brushing her ear now.
“I don’t,” she said, her voice stronger now, finally accepting what had to be done. She put both hands on his chest and pressed back firmly. “I don’t love you. I have to go back. And you are not coming with me.”
She turned before she could change her mind.
“Laurel—”
