Spider Game
Page 30
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“We’ll get you past that, Cayenne. That’s one thing we’re going to do. Make certain you feel safe. You’ll have to know what’s coming at you now.”
She blinked again. “Coming at me?”
“You’re mine. You gave yourself to me, and I’ll be damned if I let you take that gift back. You can have time, baby, but you don’t have a lot of time. I told you I’d tell you about my life when you’re lying next to me in bed, and I will. But you have to know now that I have enemies and they’ll come after you to hurt me. Caring about you makes me vulnerable. I haven’t been vulnerable in a long time, not since they murdered my aunt when I was very young.”
“Why do you care about me?”
He should have known she would dismiss the danger. Cayenne wasn’t afraid. She had all the confidence in the world as a warrior. She didn’t have confidence in herself as a woman – a human woman.
His fingers tightened in her hair. Fisted. Forced her head back exactly where he wanted it, his eyes boring into hers. Claiming her. Possessive. She needed to see that about him. He didn’t let many people into his life, but he was utterly loyal to those he did. He had never claimed a woman for his own, had never wanted one enough to risk her or to fight for her, but all that had changed.
He was fierce in battle. Ice-cold, but ferocious and relentless. He’d learned every skill he could so he was always prepared for anything. Prepared for this moment. This claiming. His woman. The woman he never believed he’d have.
“I’ll never let you go, Cayenne. You’ll be as much a prisoner with me as you were in that cell. I can teach you to live life large. To live it free. But I won’t let you go. We have trouble, you don’t like something, baby, you’ll have to learn to talk to me. I’ll do everything in my power to make you happy, but you’re mine, you stay mine.”
She frowned. She didn’t look afraid of him, but then, she was a spider, a woman who could slip in and out of places and she didn’t realize he wasn’t talking about physical captivity. He knew her mind would go there first.
Trap shook his head. “I’m not talking about locking you up, baby. I’m talking about keeping your heart. Holding you close to me always. Never giving you back your heart. Never. You give me that, I’ll keep it safe, but I won’t return it.”
She laid her head back down on his shoulder, turning her face into his neck. He felt her breath. He lost her eyes, but her body had once again melted into his. Her tongue tasted his skin right under his jaw. A tentative touch, but that told him she was curious. More than curious. She had a need just the same as his.
He had to be patient. He had to let that need build until she came to him. He couldn’t take it from her. Too much had already been taken. He needed to be the one that gave her whatever she needed or wanted. Give her everything she could want or need until she understood that she was safe with him and that he was real and his caring was real.
“I don’t think that’s such a bad thing, Trap,” she whispered against his jaw. Softly. Clearly trying to puzzle out what could be the deception – the con – he was running on her.
She was in his mind. He felt her there, a soft little presence, clinging when she didn’t notice that she was. It was intense to have someone sharing one’s mind. To feel them gently pouring into every shadow, those dark places where insanity lurked. He knew she couldn’t help but feel his sincerity – or hear the honesty in his voice. She didn’t trust it, and he didn’t blame her. He had to earn that.
“I want to show you what it’s like to have a family. To live in a house and laugh and love. I want that for you. I didn’t have it very long, but I did have it. I want the chance to make that happen for you. I started with the apartment because I want you to feel you always have your own space. Even when we’re together, when you’re living with me and sleeping in my bed, when you need it, that apartment will be there.”
He turned his head and brushed her forehead with his mouth. “Just remember, baby, once you share my bed, that’s where you’ll sleep. Right beside me.”
She was very still, stroking his arm, her fingers absently tracing little patterns over his muscles there. “Why? Why would you want that?”
“I want to be able to hold you just like this. You have a bad day, I need to be there for you. I have one, I want your arms around me.” His hand shaped the nape of her neck. Slid down her spine to the curve of her bottom. “I want to reach for you in the middle of the night. It takes a lot to keep my cock happy, baby, and I’m fairly certain with you there, ready for me, for the first time in my life, I won’t be thinking about fucking every minute of the day because you will have satisfied me. I swear, Cayenne, I’ll do everything in my power to keep you satisfied.”
She was silent, absorbing the information. Still unsure of him. Still nervous about giving herself to him, but knowing she already had. He felt that. He knew she wasn’t rescinding, only feeling her way.
“Everything is new to me, Trap,” she confessed. “I lived in a cell and had minimum contact with people. All my training was done in closed environments because they were afraid I’d escape and be let loose on the world. They were right to be afraid, I would have. But just like now, I wouldn’t have known what to do. I might have even gone back. I don’t understand about family or relationships. I don’t know the first thing about a home or how to make one or be in one. I don’t know how to support myself or anyone else. I don’t know how to please you that way at all.”
He groaned softly. “Baby, you kiss like sin. That’s a good thing. Hot and wild, just like I need. You light up for me. Catch fire. That’s all you. Everything else, I can teach you. I know what I’m doing. I want that chance as well. You’ve got instincts, Cayenne, good ones. You burn for me when you get close. I have no doubt you’ll please me and I’ll please you. I tend to be very good at giving instructions and telling a woman what I want from them. I’ll want you to do the same.”
She turned her face into the hollow of his shoulder and bit down gently. “I don’t like that.”
He held himself still. He didn’t want her agitated where she might really bite him again before he had the chance to build enough antibodies in his system against her particular type of toxin. He was absolutely certain he could find a way to do that.
She blinked again. “Coming at me?”
“You’re mine. You gave yourself to me, and I’ll be damned if I let you take that gift back. You can have time, baby, but you don’t have a lot of time. I told you I’d tell you about my life when you’re lying next to me in bed, and I will. But you have to know now that I have enemies and they’ll come after you to hurt me. Caring about you makes me vulnerable. I haven’t been vulnerable in a long time, not since they murdered my aunt when I was very young.”
“Why do you care about me?”
He should have known she would dismiss the danger. Cayenne wasn’t afraid. She had all the confidence in the world as a warrior. She didn’t have confidence in herself as a woman – a human woman.
His fingers tightened in her hair. Fisted. Forced her head back exactly where he wanted it, his eyes boring into hers. Claiming her. Possessive. She needed to see that about him. He didn’t let many people into his life, but he was utterly loyal to those he did. He had never claimed a woman for his own, had never wanted one enough to risk her or to fight for her, but all that had changed.
He was fierce in battle. Ice-cold, but ferocious and relentless. He’d learned every skill he could so he was always prepared for anything. Prepared for this moment. This claiming. His woman. The woman he never believed he’d have.
“I’ll never let you go, Cayenne. You’ll be as much a prisoner with me as you were in that cell. I can teach you to live life large. To live it free. But I won’t let you go. We have trouble, you don’t like something, baby, you’ll have to learn to talk to me. I’ll do everything in my power to make you happy, but you’re mine, you stay mine.”
She frowned. She didn’t look afraid of him, but then, she was a spider, a woman who could slip in and out of places and she didn’t realize he wasn’t talking about physical captivity. He knew her mind would go there first.
Trap shook his head. “I’m not talking about locking you up, baby. I’m talking about keeping your heart. Holding you close to me always. Never giving you back your heart. Never. You give me that, I’ll keep it safe, but I won’t return it.”
She laid her head back down on his shoulder, turning her face into his neck. He felt her breath. He lost her eyes, but her body had once again melted into his. Her tongue tasted his skin right under his jaw. A tentative touch, but that told him she was curious. More than curious. She had a need just the same as his.
He had to be patient. He had to let that need build until she came to him. He couldn’t take it from her. Too much had already been taken. He needed to be the one that gave her whatever she needed or wanted. Give her everything she could want or need until she understood that she was safe with him and that he was real and his caring was real.
“I don’t think that’s such a bad thing, Trap,” she whispered against his jaw. Softly. Clearly trying to puzzle out what could be the deception – the con – he was running on her.
She was in his mind. He felt her there, a soft little presence, clinging when she didn’t notice that she was. It was intense to have someone sharing one’s mind. To feel them gently pouring into every shadow, those dark places where insanity lurked. He knew she couldn’t help but feel his sincerity – or hear the honesty in his voice. She didn’t trust it, and he didn’t blame her. He had to earn that.
“I want to show you what it’s like to have a family. To live in a house and laugh and love. I want that for you. I didn’t have it very long, but I did have it. I want the chance to make that happen for you. I started with the apartment because I want you to feel you always have your own space. Even when we’re together, when you’re living with me and sleeping in my bed, when you need it, that apartment will be there.”
He turned his head and brushed her forehead with his mouth. “Just remember, baby, once you share my bed, that’s where you’ll sleep. Right beside me.”
She was very still, stroking his arm, her fingers absently tracing little patterns over his muscles there. “Why? Why would you want that?”
“I want to be able to hold you just like this. You have a bad day, I need to be there for you. I have one, I want your arms around me.” His hand shaped the nape of her neck. Slid down her spine to the curve of her bottom. “I want to reach for you in the middle of the night. It takes a lot to keep my cock happy, baby, and I’m fairly certain with you there, ready for me, for the first time in my life, I won’t be thinking about fucking every minute of the day because you will have satisfied me. I swear, Cayenne, I’ll do everything in my power to keep you satisfied.”
She was silent, absorbing the information. Still unsure of him. Still nervous about giving herself to him, but knowing she already had. He felt that. He knew she wasn’t rescinding, only feeling her way.
“Everything is new to me, Trap,” she confessed. “I lived in a cell and had minimum contact with people. All my training was done in closed environments because they were afraid I’d escape and be let loose on the world. They were right to be afraid, I would have. But just like now, I wouldn’t have known what to do. I might have even gone back. I don’t understand about family or relationships. I don’t know the first thing about a home or how to make one or be in one. I don’t know how to support myself or anyone else. I don’t know how to please you that way at all.”
He groaned softly. “Baby, you kiss like sin. That’s a good thing. Hot and wild, just like I need. You light up for me. Catch fire. That’s all you. Everything else, I can teach you. I know what I’m doing. I want that chance as well. You’ve got instincts, Cayenne, good ones. You burn for me when you get close. I have no doubt you’ll please me and I’ll please you. I tend to be very good at giving instructions and telling a woman what I want from them. I’ll want you to do the same.”
She turned her face into the hollow of his shoulder and bit down gently. “I don’t like that.”
He held himself still. He didn’t want her agitated where she might really bite him again before he had the chance to build enough antibodies in his system against her particular type of toxin. He was absolutely certain he could find a way to do that.
