Me: If it’s because you ran over me on the lawn today and humiliated me, forget it. A mercy date isn’t necessary.
Brax: I never mercy date. Ask anyone. And I’m sorry I humiliated you. It wasn’t intentional, although I admit I’m glad it happened. The kiss was unavoidable. Just like the next one will be. Seven?
I swallowed hard. Holy God.
Me: No way.
Brax: Give me one good reason.
Me: You don’t know me.
Brax: That’s the reason for a date, see? Another reason.
Me: You have a bike.
Brax: It has a big seat. Don’t worry, your skinny ass will fit. Seven?
My mind whirled for a few seconds. All in the space of one day, I had arrived at my first day of college, got plowed into by the school’s most infamous bad-boy starting pitcher/womanizer/party animal, and that same said crazed bad-boy had kissed me and was now asking me out. It sounded like a movie, a romantic comedy from the ‘80s. I’d managed to make it through my senior year of high school despite the harassment and rumors. I’d kept my grades up, secured an academic scholarship, and … hadn’t dated anyone since the incident. Now, the most opposite of opposites had asked me to go out to eat with him. I was insane for even considering it. But I was. Considering it, not insane. Well, maybe both. As long as we just kept things friendly. That was the only way I could make myself comfortable enough to go out with him. Friends only. I had no room in my life right now for anything more than that. I wasn’t ready to face anything else. And unless my radar was wrong, Brax Jenkins certainly wasn’t looking for a relationship with me. Sex, maybe, but not a relationship. And while part of me balked at the thought of a date, the other part couldn’t shake the feeling of Brax’s lips on mine. And he did make me laugh, even if I hid it.
Me: Okay. As friends.
Brax: I got plenty of friends, Gracie. See ya at seven.
Me: I’m not stupid, Brax. Your charm will not turn me into a blabbering soupy pile of mush like most of the silly girls running around campus. Believe it or not, I’m really and truly here for my education. My future. I don’t have room in my life for anything else. Friends only, or I won’t go.
Brax: Shit. That’s the most you’ve said all day. But okay. Friends it is, although I hope to change your mind. And I’d never think you were stupid. L8R
Me: Bye
I closed my phone and set it on the bedside table. Had I just agreed to go to dinner with Braxton Jenkins? Why had I said yes? This was too much distraction. I should text him back and cancel. I stared at my cell, but my hand didn’t move.
I shook my head. I had a date with the very guy I’d been warned not once, but twice about, in the same day. I closed my eyes, and Brax’s image came to mind. Those peculiar eyes, staring at me in a way no one else ever had. His mouth against mine, no matter how brief, had stirred something inside of me. Was I that starved for attention? Redemption? Love? In any form, even if just sex? I pushed it away and heaved a sigh. I’d sleep on it and see how I felt in the morning.
Friends. That’s the way it would stay.
I couldn’t afford it not to.
4. Nutcracker
“Holy shit. Seriously? Have you lost. Your. Fucking. Brains?”
I gave a half-grin, mostly because she was right. “Yeah. Probably so.”
Tessa’s reaction was nothing less than I’d thought it would be after telling her I was probably meeting Brax for dinner the following night. I’d just finished showering and was lying on my bed in a pair of gym shorts and a tank top, hair wrapped in a blue and white striped towel. We had our own bathroom, which was a nice privilege. Had my scholarship not been so lofty, I would’ve been sharing with three other girls in a community shower. Depending on the girls, that could be a disgusting disaster. I wasn’t obsessive compulsive, but I was definitely a neat person. I had a suspicion, though, that my present roommate was not.
Tessa plopped down onto my bed, and I sank and shifted a little with her weight. She looked at me, dark brows furrowed, then she rolled her eyes. A string of Spanish flowed from her lips. I could tell they were probably pretty decent swear words and it kind of made me wish I’d taken Spanish in high school instead of French. She looked at me again, and shook her head. “Why did he ask you out?”
My laugh was light, barely there, and a little embarrassed. “I don’t know. It’s nothing, really,” I assured her. “Probably the fact that I’m not falling all over him intrigues him?” I sighed. “Don’t worry. I insisted it would be on a friend-basis only, or I wouldn’t go. I made it perfectly clear I wasn’t falling for any of his wily charms or sex lures. I wouldn’t even be surprised if he cancelled.”
“Ha! As if. And what did he say when you said friends only?” Tessa asked. A slight growl was in her throat, and her blue eyes flashed. I almost laughed again. Tessa was definitely a formidable foe. Glad she was on my side.
I shrugged. “He said … okay.” I pushed up, crossed my legs, and leaned against the wall. Actually, he’d said he had plenty of friends, and that he’d hoped to change my mind, but Tessa didn’t need to know that. “Seems kinda harmless to me—”
“Why do you want to go with him?” Tessa interrupted. Her anger was palpable in the room, and part of me knew she was right. Had I lost my mind? I didn’t know Brax Jenkins. Not at all. “You could’ve just said no,” Tessa continued. “Or screw you. Something. Anything, other than yes!”
God, she was absolutely right. I could’ve just said no. Why hadn’t I? Was it because somehow Brax had put me at ease almost immediately? How had he done that? He was pushy and f lirty and definitely not my type. Did I even have a type? Either way, the last thing I wanted was for my roommate to think I was unstable. A baby. Incapable of handling myself, in any situation. I’d keep the fact that I was more than nervous to myself.
I shrugged. “I don’t know. I did say no at first, but he convinced me it was just a friendly dinner. He seems all right. Funny. Different.” I held up my ring finger, and the band burned a circle where it sat, filled with lies. “Besides. He knows I’m out of commission.”
“Oh my freaking god,” Tessa said. “I’d forgotten about that.” She reached over and thumped my forehead, right in the middle of it. It took me off guard, and I blinked and jerked my head back. My toweled head hit the wall. “As if that will stop him? It probably eggs him on! That’s how he gets you! Charm! Olivia! Sincerely. Text him back and cancel.”
A sincere laugh popped from my lips and I rubbed my head where she’d flicked me. “It’s okay, Tessa. Really. I can handle myself.” I smiled and patted her knee. “Trust me. I cold-balled him when he crashed into me on the front lawn. He won’t mess with me.” I leaned back and looked at her. I pulled my knees up and locked my arms around them, forcing myself to believe the words I was saying. “Brax has a whole university of gorgeous girls at his feet, all willing to do God-knows-what with him. I’m sure he doesn’t see me that way. I’ve made it clear I’m not that way. Maybe for once he wants to hang out with someone who isn’t drooling all over him.” That was my rationale, anyway, and I honestly couldn’t believe it was coming out of my mouth. Was I nervous or confident? Which one? I couldn’t be both.
Tessa’s blue gaze narrowed and bore into mine. Several seconds ticked by. “That’s the most retarded thing I’ve ever heard in my life. Text him back. Cancel. Here, I’ll do it. Give me your phone.” She reached for it.
“No, Tessa, it’s okay. Seriously.” Palming my phone to keep it safe, I shook my head. Then I studied her, and gave a hesitant smile. “Have we known each other for less than a day, or has it been a lot, lot longer?”
A small hint of surrender tugged at Tessa’s mouth. “Seems like a lot longer.” Now she regarded me with a critical eye. “I still think it’s a big mistake. Epic. At the very least, please ask him for his medical papers. That famous dick of his has seen a lot of action, Liv. No telling where it’s been.” She frowned. “Cold hard truth: He wants in your bloomers. Ring or no ring. Game on. Nothing more.” She took in a long breath. “His brain … he thinks with his big, ole, egotistical wiener. All guys do. It leads Brax Jenkins around like a magical p**n radar wand. It has now honed in on your virginal hands-off hootchie cootchie. Guard it well, chica. He’ll snatch it right out from under you like a f**king bandito if you don’t.”
I sat and stared at my roommate for several seconds in shock before bursting into laughter. I fell over onto my side, buried my face in my pillow, and howled. I couldn’t stop! I hadn’t laughed that much with anyone, except my family, since … I couldn’t remember when. A long time. Finally, I peeked out. At first, Tessa just stared back, frowning, but then she, too, broke. We laughed until we both cried. Where did she come up with this stuff? Magical p**n radar wiener wand? How would I now look Brax in the face and not burst out laughing just thinking about everything Tessa just said?
Finally, she rolled off my bed and changed into a pair of shorts and an oversized High School Musical tee shirt. She plopped down onto her bed and pulled her long hair into a floppy ball on the top of her head. It slid crooked, but she ignored it. Now she was again totally focused on me, and serious.
“All joking aside, Olivia. I know we’ve only just met, but I like you. You’re a little weird, but I like you. And as a girl, roommate, and sister female struggling to make it in this hounddog guy world, please. Watch Braxton Jenkins with both eyes wide open. Don’t blink, not even for a second. I don’t know him personally, only what I’ve told you, and that’s been enough for me to keep clear of him. Don’t let him get to you. You’ll only get hurt in the end.” She eyed my ring. “And as far as that goes, it might represent a vow to you. But to guys like Brax?” She sighed. “A beacon. Guard you hootchie cootchie, sí, but guard your heart as well.”
I nodded. And I knew she was right. “I will, I promise.”
Tessa narrowed her eyes. “You gave him the knee to the cahones, huh? Pretty cool. But I think we need a code word. A safe word, maybe. In case things get out of hand and you need me to rescue you, or visa versa. Even just to put your self at ease in an uncomfortable situation. You can think of it and it’ll make you feel better. Or text it to me, along with a location.”
I pulled my towel turban off, and shook my damp hair loose. “I’m sure he’ll keep his magical p**n radar wand to himself, and I seriously doubt I’ll need a safe word, but okay. It’s nice to know you’ll come screeching around the corner in your little Jetta to save me. Or at least make me feel better. What’s the word?”
Tessa put her hands on her h*ps and scowled. “I could just use your big old Army tank truck out there and run Brax’s cocky ass over with it,” she said. She tapped her forefinger to her temple, and paced our small dorm room. “Hmm. Let me think. Safe word. Safe word.” After a few moments, she stopped, snapped her fingers, and her face lit up. “Got it. Nutcracker!”
I grabbed my wide-toothed comb from my bedside table and pushed it through my hair, eyeing Tessa. “Okay. Nutcracker it is. Safe word. Got it.”
“Good. Don’t forget it. I swear it’ll work. Now I’ve gotta get some sleep. I promised I’d meet my parents at sixfuckingshootme o’clock in the morning to go to Cole’s baseball game—out of season, might I add. If I don’t rest, I’ll be a total bitch the whole day. Plus, Brax is pitching. I’ll keep my eye on the horn dog. ’Night, Liv.” She clicked her lamp off and shuffled under the covers.
“’Night, Tessa,’ I answered. I turned my lamp off, too, and tried to go to sleep. Instead, I laid there, thinking, my mind wandering aimlessly around.
My first night, on my own, away from home. New sounds, new job, new people.
One new person in particular. Completely unexpected.
Brax’s image crept into my mind, behind my eyelids, and there he was, almost as if I was holding up a picture of him in the dark. I could see him plain as day, looking down at me with those ghostly blue eyes as I lay on my back in the grass. Those eyes, that unusual scarred face. And those perfect lips cradling mine for a nanosecond. His crude but funny accent. His painful expression as my knee connected with his family jewels. The whole day flashed before me then, from the moment I left my home, until Tessa clicked off her lamp. Especially all the stuff in between. Just then my phone vibrated, and it startled me. I grabbed it off my nightstand.
SOUTHIE flashed in the window. Guilt, like I’d been caught doing something wrong, pinched my insides. Guilt for what? Thinking about him? Maybe he’d had time to think about it—about me, and was canceling.
I flipped open the phone, and the green backlight made me squint. I blinked a few times, braced myself for his rejection, then focused on the words.
Brax: Did you change your mind yet?
He wasn’t rejecting me. He hadn’t changed his mind. This was so crazy.
Me: Yes. Just now. After you woke me up.
Brax: Liar. You weren’t asleep sweetheart. You were lying there thinking about me. And my charm. And that kiss. So are we still on?
Me: I’m not convinced Winston is large enough to contain your ego. I had lights out and was trying to go to sleep. Yes, we’re still on. Unless you wake me up again.
Brax: Winston held my ego last semester. It’s cool. Glad to hear you haven’t chickened out on me. What are you wearin’?
Me: I think your ego grows daily. I’m anything but a chicken. And only stalkers and weirdos ask girls they’ve just met what they’re wearing at one in the morning.
Brax: I never mercy date. Ask anyone. And I’m sorry I humiliated you. It wasn’t intentional, although I admit I’m glad it happened. The kiss was unavoidable. Just like the next one will be. Seven?
I swallowed hard. Holy God.
Me: No way.
Brax: Give me one good reason.
Me: You don’t know me.
Brax: That’s the reason for a date, see? Another reason.
Me: You have a bike.
Brax: It has a big seat. Don’t worry, your skinny ass will fit. Seven?
My mind whirled for a few seconds. All in the space of one day, I had arrived at my first day of college, got plowed into by the school’s most infamous bad-boy starting pitcher/womanizer/party animal, and that same said crazed bad-boy had kissed me and was now asking me out. It sounded like a movie, a romantic comedy from the ‘80s. I’d managed to make it through my senior year of high school despite the harassment and rumors. I’d kept my grades up, secured an academic scholarship, and … hadn’t dated anyone since the incident. Now, the most opposite of opposites had asked me to go out to eat with him. I was insane for even considering it. But I was. Considering it, not insane. Well, maybe both. As long as we just kept things friendly. That was the only way I could make myself comfortable enough to go out with him. Friends only. I had no room in my life right now for anything more than that. I wasn’t ready to face anything else. And unless my radar was wrong, Brax Jenkins certainly wasn’t looking for a relationship with me. Sex, maybe, but not a relationship. And while part of me balked at the thought of a date, the other part couldn’t shake the feeling of Brax’s lips on mine. And he did make me laugh, even if I hid it.
Me: Okay. As friends.
Brax: I got plenty of friends, Gracie. See ya at seven.
Me: I’m not stupid, Brax. Your charm will not turn me into a blabbering soupy pile of mush like most of the silly girls running around campus. Believe it or not, I’m really and truly here for my education. My future. I don’t have room in my life for anything else. Friends only, or I won’t go.
Brax: Shit. That’s the most you’ve said all day. But okay. Friends it is, although I hope to change your mind. And I’d never think you were stupid. L8R
Me: Bye
I closed my phone and set it on the bedside table. Had I just agreed to go to dinner with Braxton Jenkins? Why had I said yes? This was too much distraction. I should text him back and cancel. I stared at my cell, but my hand didn’t move.
I shook my head. I had a date with the very guy I’d been warned not once, but twice about, in the same day. I closed my eyes, and Brax’s image came to mind. Those peculiar eyes, staring at me in a way no one else ever had. His mouth against mine, no matter how brief, had stirred something inside of me. Was I that starved for attention? Redemption? Love? In any form, even if just sex? I pushed it away and heaved a sigh. I’d sleep on it and see how I felt in the morning.
Friends. That’s the way it would stay.
I couldn’t afford it not to.
4. Nutcracker
“Holy shit. Seriously? Have you lost. Your. Fucking. Brains?”
I gave a half-grin, mostly because she was right. “Yeah. Probably so.”
Tessa’s reaction was nothing less than I’d thought it would be after telling her I was probably meeting Brax for dinner the following night. I’d just finished showering and was lying on my bed in a pair of gym shorts and a tank top, hair wrapped in a blue and white striped towel. We had our own bathroom, which was a nice privilege. Had my scholarship not been so lofty, I would’ve been sharing with three other girls in a community shower. Depending on the girls, that could be a disgusting disaster. I wasn’t obsessive compulsive, but I was definitely a neat person. I had a suspicion, though, that my present roommate was not.
Tessa plopped down onto my bed, and I sank and shifted a little with her weight. She looked at me, dark brows furrowed, then she rolled her eyes. A string of Spanish flowed from her lips. I could tell they were probably pretty decent swear words and it kind of made me wish I’d taken Spanish in high school instead of French. She looked at me again, and shook her head. “Why did he ask you out?”
My laugh was light, barely there, and a little embarrassed. “I don’t know. It’s nothing, really,” I assured her. “Probably the fact that I’m not falling all over him intrigues him?” I sighed. “Don’t worry. I insisted it would be on a friend-basis only, or I wouldn’t go. I made it perfectly clear I wasn’t falling for any of his wily charms or sex lures. I wouldn’t even be surprised if he cancelled.”
“Ha! As if. And what did he say when you said friends only?” Tessa asked. A slight growl was in her throat, and her blue eyes flashed. I almost laughed again. Tessa was definitely a formidable foe. Glad she was on my side.
I shrugged. “He said … okay.” I pushed up, crossed my legs, and leaned against the wall. Actually, he’d said he had plenty of friends, and that he’d hoped to change my mind, but Tessa didn’t need to know that. “Seems kinda harmless to me—”
“Why do you want to go with him?” Tessa interrupted. Her anger was palpable in the room, and part of me knew she was right. Had I lost my mind? I didn’t know Brax Jenkins. Not at all. “You could’ve just said no,” Tessa continued. “Or screw you. Something. Anything, other than yes!”
God, she was absolutely right. I could’ve just said no. Why hadn’t I? Was it because somehow Brax had put me at ease almost immediately? How had he done that? He was pushy and f lirty and definitely not my type. Did I even have a type? Either way, the last thing I wanted was for my roommate to think I was unstable. A baby. Incapable of handling myself, in any situation. I’d keep the fact that I was more than nervous to myself.
I shrugged. “I don’t know. I did say no at first, but he convinced me it was just a friendly dinner. He seems all right. Funny. Different.” I held up my ring finger, and the band burned a circle where it sat, filled with lies. “Besides. He knows I’m out of commission.”
“Oh my freaking god,” Tessa said. “I’d forgotten about that.” She reached over and thumped my forehead, right in the middle of it. It took me off guard, and I blinked and jerked my head back. My toweled head hit the wall. “As if that will stop him? It probably eggs him on! That’s how he gets you! Charm! Olivia! Sincerely. Text him back and cancel.”
A sincere laugh popped from my lips and I rubbed my head where she’d flicked me. “It’s okay, Tessa. Really. I can handle myself.” I smiled and patted her knee. “Trust me. I cold-balled him when he crashed into me on the front lawn. He won’t mess with me.” I leaned back and looked at her. I pulled my knees up and locked my arms around them, forcing myself to believe the words I was saying. “Brax has a whole university of gorgeous girls at his feet, all willing to do God-knows-what with him. I’m sure he doesn’t see me that way. I’ve made it clear I’m not that way. Maybe for once he wants to hang out with someone who isn’t drooling all over him.” That was my rationale, anyway, and I honestly couldn’t believe it was coming out of my mouth. Was I nervous or confident? Which one? I couldn’t be both.
Tessa’s blue gaze narrowed and bore into mine. Several seconds ticked by. “That’s the most retarded thing I’ve ever heard in my life. Text him back. Cancel. Here, I’ll do it. Give me your phone.” She reached for it.
“No, Tessa, it’s okay. Seriously.” Palming my phone to keep it safe, I shook my head. Then I studied her, and gave a hesitant smile. “Have we known each other for less than a day, or has it been a lot, lot longer?”
A small hint of surrender tugged at Tessa’s mouth. “Seems like a lot longer.” Now she regarded me with a critical eye. “I still think it’s a big mistake. Epic. At the very least, please ask him for his medical papers. That famous dick of his has seen a lot of action, Liv. No telling where it’s been.” She frowned. “Cold hard truth: He wants in your bloomers. Ring or no ring. Game on. Nothing more.” She took in a long breath. “His brain … he thinks with his big, ole, egotistical wiener. All guys do. It leads Brax Jenkins around like a magical p**n radar wand. It has now honed in on your virginal hands-off hootchie cootchie. Guard it well, chica. He’ll snatch it right out from under you like a f**king bandito if you don’t.”
I sat and stared at my roommate for several seconds in shock before bursting into laughter. I fell over onto my side, buried my face in my pillow, and howled. I couldn’t stop! I hadn’t laughed that much with anyone, except my family, since … I couldn’t remember when. A long time. Finally, I peeked out. At first, Tessa just stared back, frowning, but then she, too, broke. We laughed until we both cried. Where did she come up with this stuff? Magical p**n radar wiener wand? How would I now look Brax in the face and not burst out laughing just thinking about everything Tessa just said?
Finally, she rolled off my bed and changed into a pair of shorts and an oversized High School Musical tee shirt. She plopped down onto her bed and pulled her long hair into a floppy ball on the top of her head. It slid crooked, but she ignored it. Now she was again totally focused on me, and serious.
“All joking aside, Olivia. I know we’ve only just met, but I like you. You’re a little weird, but I like you. And as a girl, roommate, and sister female struggling to make it in this hounddog guy world, please. Watch Braxton Jenkins with both eyes wide open. Don’t blink, not even for a second. I don’t know him personally, only what I’ve told you, and that’s been enough for me to keep clear of him. Don’t let him get to you. You’ll only get hurt in the end.” She eyed my ring. “And as far as that goes, it might represent a vow to you. But to guys like Brax?” She sighed. “A beacon. Guard you hootchie cootchie, sí, but guard your heart as well.”
I nodded. And I knew she was right. “I will, I promise.”
Tessa narrowed her eyes. “You gave him the knee to the cahones, huh? Pretty cool. But I think we need a code word. A safe word, maybe. In case things get out of hand and you need me to rescue you, or visa versa. Even just to put your self at ease in an uncomfortable situation. You can think of it and it’ll make you feel better. Or text it to me, along with a location.”
I pulled my towel turban off, and shook my damp hair loose. “I’m sure he’ll keep his magical p**n radar wand to himself, and I seriously doubt I’ll need a safe word, but okay. It’s nice to know you’ll come screeching around the corner in your little Jetta to save me. Or at least make me feel better. What’s the word?”
Tessa put her hands on her h*ps and scowled. “I could just use your big old Army tank truck out there and run Brax’s cocky ass over with it,” she said. She tapped her forefinger to her temple, and paced our small dorm room. “Hmm. Let me think. Safe word. Safe word.” After a few moments, she stopped, snapped her fingers, and her face lit up. “Got it. Nutcracker!”
I grabbed my wide-toothed comb from my bedside table and pushed it through my hair, eyeing Tessa. “Okay. Nutcracker it is. Safe word. Got it.”
“Good. Don’t forget it. I swear it’ll work. Now I’ve gotta get some sleep. I promised I’d meet my parents at sixfuckingshootme o’clock in the morning to go to Cole’s baseball game—out of season, might I add. If I don’t rest, I’ll be a total bitch the whole day. Plus, Brax is pitching. I’ll keep my eye on the horn dog. ’Night, Liv.” She clicked her lamp off and shuffled under the covers.
“’Night, Tessa,’ I answered. I turned my lamp off, too, and tried to go to sleep. Instead, I laid there, thinking, my mind wandering aimlessly around.
My first night, on my own, away from home. New sounds, new job, new people.
One new person in particular. Completely unexpected.
Brax’s image crept into my mind, behind my eyelids, and there he was, almost as if I was holding up a picture of him in the dark. I could see him plain as day, looking down at me with those ghostly blue eyes as I lay on my back in the grass. Those eyes, that unusual scarred face. And those perfect lips cradling mine for a nanosecond. His crude but funny accent. His painful expression as my knee connected with his family jewels. The whole day flashed before me then, from the moment I left my home, until Tessa clicked off her lamp. Especially all the stuff in between. Just then my phone vibrated, and it startled me. I grabbed it off my nightstand.
SOUTHIE flashed in the window. Guilt, like I’d been caught doing something wrong, pinched my insides. Guilt for what? Thinking about him? Maybe he’d had time to think about it—about me, and was canceling.
I flipped open the phone, and the green backlight made me squint. I blinked a few times, braced myself for his rejection, then focused on the words.
Brax: Did you change your mind yet?
He wasn’t rejecting me. He hadn’t changed his mind. This was so crazy.
Me: Yes. Just now. After you woke me up.
Brax: Liar. You weren’t asleep sweetheart. You were lying there thinking about me. And my charm. And that kiss. So are we still on?
Me: I’m not convinced Winston is large enough to contain your ego. I had lights out and was trying to go to sleep. Yes, we’re still on. Unless you wake me up again.
Brax: Winston held my ego last semester. It’s cool. Glad to hear you haven’t chickened out on me. What are you wearin’?
Me: I think your ego grows daily. I’m anything but a chicken. And only stalkers and weirdos ask girls they’ve just met what they’re wearing at one in the morning.
