And he gave it right back, bowing his back a little and letting out a deep growl of pleasure.
* * * Tom held her against him, gently stroking her back. “Stay with me tonight,” he whispered.
“You know I can’t.”
“Let’s call Adie and tell her we need her to stay with the girls. Tell her I’ll pay her a thousand dollars to stay the night with them. Two thousand.”
“You’re kind of cute, all desperate. No, I have to go home.”
“Not yet. Please, not yet. Just give me a little more time with you like this… .” He kissed her shoulder, neck, ear, lips.
“A few more minutes,” she said with a sigh that sounded as helpless as Tom felt. She curled into him.
“Letting go of you tonight will be the hardest thing I’ve ever done. You know what we’ve had is special. Tell me you know that, Nora.”
She put a palm against his cheek and nodded. “I am not going to cry,” she said with a shaky voice. “I’m going to be grateful for every beautiful thing and I am not going to cry.”
They made love again and Tom tried to make it as slow, as luxurious, as precious as possible. In his life, even in war, he had not felt this close to insanity—he felt as though his life was slipping away from him. When he finally relented he had to let her go, his head began to pound. He took her to her car, rode with her to the gate, kissed her hard and held her close one more time and then, with a lump in his throat, he watched her drive through the gate.
He closed the gate and gripped it, his fingers locking into the aluminum mesh, his forehead leaning onto the fence. He stood there until he was almost too cold to walk.
* * *
Jack Sheridan was manning the bar on Sunday morning when Hank Cooper walked in. “Hey,” Jack said, but he didn’t say it with an abundance of friendliness.
“Hey.”
“Coffee?” Jack asked.
“Thanks. I came to say goodbye.”
“Heading out?”
“Yeah, kind of sudden. There was a phone call last night—kind of sketchy, but the short version is our friend Ben, from up the Oregon coast—he’s dead.”
Jack was jolted. He damn near spilled the coffee. “Dead?”
“He was killed. He’s buried already. Some old guy said Luke’s phone number was written on the wall of that old store of his—and there were some personal effects for me. Well, for someone named Henry Cooper.”
“Henry?” Jack asked.
“Henry. Hank. I answer to a lot of things. So, I’m headed up there…to pick up whatever it is. And to find out what happened to him.”
“Aw, man, I’m sorry. Luke going?”
“He offered, but no point in both of us going. I can call him if I need him.”
“And me,” Jack said. “If you get up there and find out you could use a posse…”
“Decent of you,” Coop said, sipping his coffee. “Thing is, I don’t know when I’ll get back this way, so I wanted to say…” He hesitated. “Look, I get that you did what you had to do back then. And I get that it looked bad on me and that wasn’t your fault. I don’t want that on my conscience.”
“Consider it cleared up, but why you worrying about your conscience now? We could’ve settled this when you got back… .”
He gave a shrug. “I have no idea what’s going on, that’s all. It could be complicated.”
“I hope you know how to be careful,” Jack said.
Coop grinned. “That’s one good thing that came out of our last encounter. Careful is my middle name.”
“I hope you get back this way.”
Coop took another drink of his coffee, put down the cup and reached for his wallet.
“Nah, I’m not taking your money. It’s just a cup of coffee between friends.”
Coop put out his hand. “I think maybe that could’ve worked out, if we’d had more time, if we both weren’t so damn stubborn. Well, if you weren’t.”
Jack took the hand and grinned. “I’ll be checking in with Luke to find out how you’re doing. And if you get back here, we’ll scare up some poker.”
“I’d like to beat the hell out of you at something,” Coop said.
“Happy trails, man.” Coop turned to go and Jack said, “Hey, Coop—that was nice, that you stopped by. Thanks for that.”
“Yeah, anytime. Watch out for my friends, Jack.”
“You don’t even have to ask. Call if you need help.”
* * *
It was early afternoon when Maxie walked into her kitchen. She found Tom sitting at the table, eating cold casserole right out of the dish. She smiled at him and asked, “Hungry?”
He pushed it away and said, “Sit down, Max—we have to talk about a couple of things. Sensitive things.”
She sat warily. “Yes, I had a very nice trip, thank you for asking.”
“This might be a little hard for you at first, but you’re going to have figure out how to get along with the idea—I’m going to marry Nora.”
Her eyes widened in shock. Her mouth hung open.
“Right away. Well, as right away as she’ll go along with. Now, I know that’s not what you expected me to do, marry some woman with a couple of kids—a couple of kids by some loser who’s in prison—but this is how it’s going to be. I think, despite the fact her life has been pretty rocky up to now, she’s a solid person. She’s a very moral, decent person. She might’ve had a few little errors in judgment along the way, but a lot of that has more to do with the hard knocks of her childhood, something I only know a little bit about… .”
“Tom, I like Nora,” she said.
“I know, I know. That’s obvious. But liking her as an orchard worker and friend and as my wife—those are different roles. And I know that your life has been very different from hers, Maxie. You’ve been more mother to me than grandmother and I know the woman who raised me has a really rigid moral code… .”
She straightened her spine in shock. “Rigid moral code…?”
“You were so damn strict, the apples ran for their lives! I always planned to marry a woman a lot more like you, but this one just tripped me up!”
“Tom, Nora is—”
“I’m just telling you before I go one step further, you can’t judge her against your old-fashioned standards. You can’t condemn her for having a couple of kids without a husband or anything related. We accept her one hundred percent, just as she is.”
“Tom! You think I would judge her for that? You know that your grandfather and I—”
“I know, you had to get married—you’ve been honest about that. This is pretty different, but I don’t care. I wouldn’t care if she had six kids—I need her in my life. I’m not giving her up.” Then he laughed suddenly. “Damn, doesn’t this just have stalker written all over it?” He rubbed his hand down his face.
“Tom, have you not paid attention? We didn’t just have to get married, we—”
“I’m telling you, it doesn’t matter to me, so it can’t matter to you, because I’m bringing Nora and the kids to live with us. We could get our own house but if I’m going to work this orchard, I—”
“No, Tom, I absolutely don’t want you to find your own house and leave me on the orchard in this great big house,” she said, but she wasn’t sure he was listening to anything she said. He appeared to be just about deaf and blind and a little crazed. “Tom. Tom, look at me. Has Nora agreed to marry you?”
“No, but she will because she has to. They’re kicking her out of her house and she thinks she’s moving to Stanford to live with her father, but I’m not letting her go,” he said. “I’ll find a way to make it up to her if she wants to go back to college… .”
“We do have colleges,” Maxie said, mesmerized by her grandson’s passion. “I’ve never seen you like this before.”
“Probably because I’ve never been like this before. I knew I was falling for her but I thought I had time to get used to the idea of becoming a husband and father overnight. Man, I don’t need time—I only need one thing.”
“Can you slow down for just one second?” Maxie asked calmly. “Can you please listen to me?”
“Don’t try to reason with me, Max, because I—”
“Tom! Shut up! Listen to me!” He sat still and focused on her. “Better. You still look a little dazed, but better.”
“I didn’t sleep at all, and I was already running on very little sleep.”
“I understand, now please try to hear me. You have to calm down and see if you can lose that lunatic edge. No one’s going to marry you if you continue to sound completely insane.”
“I might be a little insane,” he said. “I sure feel that way.”
“Deep breaths,” she said. “I love Nora. If she’ll come here as my granddaughter-in-law, I would be very happy. But you must hear me on this—if you tell her she has to, any woman with a brain would run for her life.”
He was quiet for a second while he absorbed this. “Right,” he finally said. But he looked confused.
“Tell her how you feel. Just tell her how you feel and ask her if she can lower her standards enough to take you for a spouse.”
He sat back. “Very funny,” he said.
She grinned. “I couldn’t be more serious. And before you light out of here with a mission, make sure you’re wearing boots the same color and zip your fly.”
He looked down—sure enough, one black, one brown. And an open fly. How did she do that? “Sometimes you’re just spooky.”
“Women notice things like that. Are you done with me?”
He nodded. “I’m going to Nora’s now,” he said. “After I change boots.”
“Good. I think I’ve aged ten years since I walked in the door!”
But Maxie stayed in that chair until he had attended to his clothing and left again. Then he came back, kissed her forehead and said, “Thank you, Max!”
She sat. My God, she thought. She just shook her head. He really had no concept of what he was asking, what he was saying. They had talked about the fact that his grandfather was not his biological grandfather, though Tom had been much younger. Maxie thought it imperative that he hear that from her before he heard it in town or at school, surprised he hadn’t already. He had only asked one question—was he his father’s biological son. And Maxie had said, “There is absolutely no question—you are his twin. We’ll go through pictures any time you like.” Apparently he had heard that, accepted it and was at peace. The biology dating back to his grandfather and great-grandfather was so far removed in his young mind, it didn’t matter.
* * *
When Tom pulled up to that small house in town that held almost all his hopes and dreams, her father’s car was there. He took a deep breath. Probably just as well.
When he knocked at the door, she said, “Come in.” And he thought, I have no flowers, no ring, nothing.
He opened the door and saw that Jed was sitting on the sofa, reading a picture book to the little girls. Berry looked up, gave him a little smile and her version of a wave. Tom approached Jed and stuck out a hand. “Don’t get up, Jed,” he said. “I’m just going to talk to Nora for a couple of minutes.”
Jed just shook quickly, smiled and gave a nod before going back to his reading. Nora had a cardboard box open on the table and seemed to be filling it with folded clothes. Already? “Can I talk to you for a second?” he asked.
* * * Tom held her against him, gently stroking her back. “Stay with me tonight,” he whispered.
“You know I can’t.”
“Let’s call Adie and tell her we need her to stay with the girls. Tell her I’ll pay her a thousand dollars to stay the night with them. Two thousand.”
“You’re kind of cute, all desperate. No, I have to go home.”
“Not yet. Please, not yet. Just give me a little more time with you like this… .” He kissed her shoulder, neck, ear, lips.
“A few more minutes,” she said with a sigh that sounded as helpless as Tom felt. She curled into him.
“Letting go of you tonight will be the hardest thing I’ve ever done. You know what we’ve had is special. Tell me you know that, Nora.”
She put a palm against his cheek and nodded. “I am not going to cry,” she said with a shaky voice. “I’m going to be grateful for every beautiful thing and I am not going to cry.”
They made love again and Tom tried to make it as slow, as luxurious, as precious as possible. In his life, even in war, he had not felt this close to insanity—he felt as though his life was slipping away from him. When he finally relented he had to let her go, his head began to pound. He took her to her car, rode with her to the gate, kissed her hard and held her close one more time and then, with a lump in his throat, he watched her drive through the gate.
He closed the gate and gripped it, his fingers locking into the aluminum mesh, his forehead leaning onto the fence. He stood there until he was almost too cold to walk.
* * *
Jack Sheridan was manning the bar on Sunday morning when Hank Cooper walked in. “Hey,” Jack said, but he didn’t say it with an abundance of friendliness.
“Hey.”
“Coffee?” Jack asked.
“Thanks. I came to say goodbye.”
“Heading out?”
“Yeah, kind of sudden. There was a phone call last night—kind of sketchy, but the short version is our friend Ben, from up the Oregon coast—he’s dead.”
Jack was jolted. He damn near spilled the coffee. “Dead?”
“He was killed. He’s buried already. Some old guy said Luke’s phone number was written on the wall of that old store of his—and there were some personal effects for me. Well, for someone named Henry Cooper.”
“Henry?” Jack asked.
“Henry. Hank. I answer to a lot of things. So, I’m headed up there…to pick up whatever it is. And to find out what happened to him.”
“Aw, man, I’m sorry. Luke going?”
“He offered, but no point in both of us going. I can call him if I need him.”
“And me,” Jack said. “If you get up there and find out you could use a posse…”
“Decent of you,” Coop said, sipping his coffee. “Thing is, I don’t know when I’ll get back this way, so I wanted to say…” He hesitated. “Look, I get that you did what you had to do back then. And I get that it looked bad on me and that wasn’t your fault. I don’t want that on my conscience.”
“Consider it cleared up, but why you worrying about your conscience now? We could’ve settled this when you got back… .”
He gave a shrug. “I have no idea what’s going on, that’s all. It could be complicated.”
“I hope you know how to be careful,” Jack said.
Coop grinned. “That’s one good thing that came out of our last encounter. Careful is my middle name.”
“I hope you get back this way.”
Coop took another drink of his coffee, put down the cup and reached for his wallet.
“Nah, I’m not taking your money. It’s just a cup of coffee between friends.”
Coop put out his hand. “I think maybe that could’ve worked out, if we’d had more time, if we both weren’t so damn stubborn. Well, if you weren’t.”
Jack took the hand and grinned. “I’ll be checking in with Luke to find out how you’re doing. And if you get back here, we’ll scare up some poker.”
“I’d like to beat the hell out of you at something,” Coop said.
“Happy trails, man.” Coop turned to go and Jack said, “Hey, Coop—that was nice, that you stopped by. Thanks for that.”
“Yeah, anytime. Watch out for my friends, Jack.”
“You don’t even have to ask. Call if you need help.”
* * *
It was early afternoon when Maxie walked into her kitchen. She found Tom sitting at the table, eating cold casserole right out of the dish. She smiled at him and asked, “Hungry?”
He pushed it away and said, “Sit down, Max—we have to talk about a couple of things. Sensitive things.”
She sat warily. “Yes, I had a very nice trip, thank you for asking.”
“This might be a little hard for you at first, but you’re going to have figure out how to get along with the idea—I’m going to marry Nora.”
Her eyes widened in shock. Her mouth hung open.
“Right away. Well, as right away as she’ll go along with. Now, I know that’s not what you expected me to do, marry some woman with a couple of kids—a couple of kids by some loser who’s in prison—but this is how it’s going to be. I think, despite the fact her life has been pretty rocky up to now, she’s a solid person. She’s a very moral, decent person. She might’ve had a few little errors in judgment along the way, but a lot of that has more to do with the hard knocks of her childhood, something I only know a little bit about… .”
“Tom, I like Nora,” she said.
“I know, I know. That’s obvious. But liking her as an orchard worker and friend and as my wife—those are different roles. And I know that your life has been very different from hers, Maxie. You’ve been more mother to me than grandmother and I know the woman who raised me has a really rigid moral code… .”
She straightened her spine in shock. “Rigid moral code…?”
“You were so damn strict, the apples ran for their lives! I always planned to marry a woman a lot more like you, but this one just tripped me up!”
“Tom, Nora is—”
“I’m just telling you before I go one step further, you can’t judge her against your old-fashioned standards. You can’t condemn her for having a couple of kids without a husband or anything related. We accept her one hundred percent, just as she is.”
“Tom! You think I would judge her for that? You know that your grandfather and I—”
“I know, you had to get married—you’ve been honest about that. This is pretty different, but I don’t care. I wouldn’t care if she had six kids—I need her in my life. I’m not giving her up.” Then he laughed suddenly. “Damn, doesn’t this just have stalker written all over it?” He rubbed his hand down his face.
“Tom, have you not paid attention? We didn’t just have to get married, we—”
“I’m telling you, it doesn’t matter to me, so it can’t matter to you, because I’m bringing Nora and the kids to live with us. We could get our own house but if I’m going to work this orchard, I—”
“No, Tom, I absolutely don’t want you to find your own house and leave me on the orchard in this great big house,” she said, but she wasn’t sure he was listening to anything she said. He appeared to be just about deaf and blind and a little crazed. “Tom. Tom, look at me. Has Nora agreed to marry you?”
“No, but she will because she has to. They’re kicking her out of her house and she thinks she’s moving to Stanford to live with her father, but I’m not letting her go,” he said. “I’ll find a way to make it up to her if she wants to go back to college… .”
“We do have colleges,” Maxie said, mesmerized by her grandson’s passion. “I’ve never seen you like this before.”
“Probably because I’ve never been like this before. I knew I was falling for her but I thought I had time to get used to the idea of becoming a husband and father overnight. Man, I don’t need time—I only need one thing.”
“Can you slow down for just one second?” Maxie asked calmly. “Can you please listen to me?”
“Don’t try to reason with me, Max, because I—”
“Tom! Shut up! Listen to me!” He sat still and focused on her. “Better. You still look a little dazed, but better.”
“I didn’t sleep at all, and I was already running on very little sleep.”
“I understand, now please try to hear me. You have to calm down and see if you can lose that lunatic edge. No one’s going to marry you if you continue to sound completely insane.”
“I might be a little insane,” he said. “I sure feel that way.”
“Deep breaths,” she said. “I love Nora. If she’ll come here as my granddaughter-in-law, I would be very happy. But you must hear me on this—if you tell her she has to, any woman with a brain would run for her life.”
He was quiet for a second while he absorbed this. “Right,” he finally said. But he looked confused.
“Tell her how you feel. Just tell her how you feel and ask her if she can lower her standards enough to take you for a spouse.”
He sat back. “Very funny,” he said.
She grinned. “I couldn’t be more serious. And before you light out of here with a mission, make sure you’re wearing boots the same color and zip your fly.”
He looked down—sure enough, one black, one brown. And an open fly. How did she do that? “Sometimes you’re just spooky.”
“Women notice things like that. Are you done with me?”
He nodded. “I’m going to Nora’s now,” he said. “After I change boots.”
“Good. I think I’ve aged ten years since I walked in the door!”
But Maxie stayed in that chair until he had attended to his clothing and left again. Then he came back, kissed her forehead and said, “Thank you, Max!”
She sat. My God, she thought. She just shook her head. He really had no concept of what he was asking, what he was saying. They had talked about the fact that his grandfather was not his biological grandfather, though Tom had been much younger. Maxie thought it imperative that he hear that from her before he heard it in town or at school, surprised he hadn’t already. He had only asked one question—was he his father’s biological son. And Maxie had said, “There is absolutely no question—you are his twin. We’ll go through pictures any time you like.” Apparently he had heard that, accepted it and was at peace. The biology dating back to his grandfather and great-grandfather was so far removed in his young mind, it didn’t matter.
* * *
When Tom pulled up to that small house in town that held almost all his hopes and dreams, her father’s car was there. He took a deep breath. Probably just as well.
When he knocked at the door, she said, “Come in.” And he thought, I have no flowers, no ring, nothing.
He opened the door and saw that Jed was sitting on the sofa, reading a picture book to the little girls. Berry looked up, gave him a little smile and her version of a wave. Tom approached Jed and stuck out a hand. “Don’t get up, Jed,” he said. “I’m just going to talk to Nora for a couple of minutes.”
Jed just shook quickly, smiled and gave a nod before going back to his reading. Nora had a cardboard box open on the table and seemed to be filling it with folded clothes. Already? “Can I talk to you for a second?” he asked.
