Surrender to Me
Page 39

But she couldn’t deny that the bed felt heavenly soft. Kata was sorely tempted to close her eyes and sink into sleep.
“This is totally ridiculous.” She struggled to find her feet and get them under her.
“I agree.” His big body came over hers. His face, even in the shadowed room, said he was very serious. “I love your spirit, but if you don’t take care of yourself properly, I’ll intercede.”
Every word out of his mouth sounded too much like the Colonel talking to her mother, commanding and making decisions, without regard to her feelings. Without really listening.
Kata sagged back to the mattress, closing her weary eyes, though thoughts ricocheted through her brain. Were they both destined to be like their parents? The awful question crashed over her. Hunter behaved like a younger replica of his father—determined, protective, bossy, unbending. Just this morning, she had realized that she was more like her mother than she’d ever imagined.
A part of her had been hoping that Hunter was right, that the budding love between them would prevail. But how, when every day brought more proof that this relationship would probably destroy her—and she, slave to the increasing submissive weakness inside her, would let it happen?
Hunter leaned over and placed a brief kiss on her forehead. Even while furious, the connection between them sparked across her skin. Everything inside her yearned for more.
The truth hit her—a slap across raw cheeks. She’d fallen in love with a man who would steal her independence, even as she became addicted to his touch and was ruined for every other man.
The Colonel had cowed her mother into silence in less than five minutes. Granted, she was beat down with sickness and years with Gordon. But Kata wondered how long would it take Hunter to twist her into the same submission. Five years? One? Less? How long before she lost herself to him and her self-respect?
That was a question she had to make certain she couldn’t ever answer.
Chapter Seventeen
HUNTER and Kata emerged from the bedroom to find that the Colonel had fixed Carlotta’s dinner, as he should have, in Hunter’s estimation. He’d spent the last twenty minutes with his lips against hers, his hands soothing her aching muscles. He wished she’d sleep, but she was too worried about her mother to do that now. Once Carlotta got settled, he’d be sure that Kata did the same.
Rolling his stiff, still-healing shoulder, Hunter reheated the Chinese food, then sat down to a plate of steaming vegetables, kung pao chicken, and steamed rice. Carlotta watched Kata pick at her beef and broccoli—and sneak a puzzled glance every now and again at his father.
After the meal, the men cleaned the kitchen with efficient silence, admonishing the women to stay put. Then the Colonel lifted Carlotta in his arms. Despite the woman’s tired protests, he carried Kata’s mother to her bedroom upstairs, down the hall from his own.
Kata followed the pair, then gave her mother some medicine, tucking her in. After Kata planted a kiss on her mom’s cheek, and Carlotta gave her daughter a weak smile, the woman drifted off. Hunter watched from the doorway as concern fell across Kata’s face.
“She’s going to be just fine.” He caressed her shoulder. “She’ll get plenty of rest.”
“If she takes a turn for the worse, I’ll get her back to the doctor ASAP,” his father vowed.
“Thank you,” she addressed the Colonel. “Remember that she’s hurting more than physically. She needs not only your care, but for you to listen to her.”
With that, Kata shouldered her way past them, out of the room. Hunter saw his father wince.
“I guess that’s your wife’s way of saying I’ve been a bulldozer. She’s right.”
“She thinks the same of me.” Hunter shoved his hands in his pockets. “You and I, we’re cut from the same cloth. I don’t know a different way to take care of Kata. I love her.”
The Colonel shot him an unreadable stare. “Tread carefully, son. If you hold on too tightly, she’ll force you to let her go.”
Hunter heard the voice of reason, experience.
“Is that what happened with you and Mom?”
He shouldn’t ask. Hunter knew it . . . but damn it, to this day he didn’t understand why his father had simply let Amanda go. The Colonel had never explained, and after she’d left, Hunter had never seen his mother again. Maybe understanding would help him with his own disintegrating union.
“In retrospect, yeah. I controlled so much of her life to avoid losing her that it became a self-fulfilling prophecy.” The Colonel rubbed the back of his neck. “Amanda wanted more affection, wanted to know I valued her feelings and opinions. The only things I was good at were protecting her and, when I wasn’t deployed, showing her how much I desired her. It wasn’t enough.”
Hunter damn near choked. It sounded too fucking parallel. “She wanted to leave. I get it. But you gave up and let her go so easily.”
“You think that was easy?” the Colonel growled. “Letting her go was the fucking hardest thing I’ve ever done. I loved her, but didn’t know how to be what she wanted. I gave her some space, agreed to the separation. I’d hoped the strategy would show her that I’d changed. But then I found out she’d been seeing someone else. I was so furious, but up until the day she was killed, I kept hoping that she would come back to me. Eventually, I realized that I’d loved her enough to set her free. She just didn’t love me enough to come back. And I couldn’t force her.”
Hunter felt every word down to his bones. His mother had been so miserable being controlled that she’d walked out on a husband and three children and never looked back. Kata had been fighting him since before they said “I do.”
Dread rolled through his belly as the years peeled away. He remembered his parents’ ugly fights, the rage his mother had spewed. Her pleas for freedom. She’d finally grabbed it the only way she’d known how. Even in middle school, Hunter had become aware of the depression and anger that plagued his mother. Still, he’d been shocked when she left. He’d always assumed his father would keep the family together.
That should have been love’s role. When the Colonel had finally realized it, he’d let her go.
“I’ve known for years that you disapproved of me not fighting to keep your mother.”
His gaze snapped up, and he met his dad’s head-on. “I lost respect for you that day, sir.”
“You weren’t good at hiding it. I could hardly keep Amanda against her will. I did what I thought had the best potential for long-term success.” He shrugged as if he’d finally accepted years of pain and loneliness. “But after years of not hearing her unhappiness and not doing enough to change my ways, I was going to lose her, regardless.”
In that moment, everything crystallized inside Hunter. “You’re right. It takes a wise man to know when he can’t win. And a brave one to let his woman go.”
Hunter didn’t know if he was that brave.
The Colonel sent him a sad smile. “Apparently not too wise. Carlotta isn’t even mine, and I’m smothering her already. I know how I should behave, but I’m not good at implementing it. I suggest you learn, too.”
Or Kata will be gone.
Under the tangle of anxiety, denial, and anger, Hunter knew his father was right. And it made him sick to think that, in all the time he’d been trying to show her how much he loved her, he’d also been hurting her.
“You know that biblical verse, ‘Love isn’t selfish. It’s patient and kind . . .”
Hunter closed his eyes. Yeah, he knew, just as he knew he’d been selfish, impatient, and pushy. “Fuck.”
“Things between you and Kata aren’t as smooth as you’d like, are they, son? It’s hard when you’re newlyweds.”
“She already wants a divorce.” He forced the words out, pinching the bridge of his nose. It hurt to admit just how much he’d screwed up, but his dad was being so damn honest.
The Colonel sucked in a breath. “What do you want?”
“I love her. I can’t stand the thought of her not being mine.”
His father clapped him on the shoulder in understanding. “But if her heart isn’t with you, then she’s not yours anyway. Sometimes . . . you have to let go. Better to do it now, before she comes to hate you.”
His voice cracked as painful memories twisted his strong face.
Hunter watched his father leave the cozy room. He turned to Carlotta, seeing a lot of Kata in her slightly lined face. It hadn’t escaped his notice how disturbed Kata had been by her mother’s interaction with his father. Hunter just hadn’t been able to curb his own need to care for her in much the same way. But he saw now that if he didn’t change fast, he was going to lose her for good.
With a heavy sigh, he turned out the lights in the little bedroom, then wandered downstairs. Kata had gone off to bed, according to Logan, whose phone continued to beep.
“Insistent girl,” Hunter commented.
Logan shrugged. “Three of them now. All pain sluts.” He ran his hands across the top of his buzz cut. “It’s a game with them. They each want to be the one I finally sleep with.”
Hunter shook his head. Granted, with his own love life a wreck, he was the last one who should be offering advice, but he had to try to help his younger brother. “How long has it been?”
The question made Logan look away. “I don’t know. Maybe five years.”
A small eternity. Logan was too young and vital to be voluntarily going without. “Your palm chafed raw yet?”
Logan scowled and punched him in the shoulder. “Fuck off. I make sure they get what they need. Xander delivers the sex and aftercare.”
“Is sending in your clean-up man good enough for them? For you?” With a shake of his head, Hunter admonished, “Bro, you’re going to have to move past T—”
“Don’t say her name,” he snarled. “Don’t.”
Hunter held up his hands in a defensive gesture. “Fine. You try talking to her again?”
Longing and misery crossed his face. “She slammed the door in my face.”
His shrug told Hunter just how futile the whole mess felt. It was a feeling that Hunter feared he was going to know all too well if he lost Kata.
The Colonel sauntered into the room with a grimace. “Couldn’t help overhearing. Her prick of a stepfather still lives in the same house. Adam Sterling smiles at me when I jog the neighborhood, as if he enjoys reminding me that his little princess broke my son’s heart.”
Hunter wouldn’t be surprised. Logan growled something ugly and anatomically impossible.
Before Hunter could point that out, his phone rang. He glanced at the clock as he pried the phone off his belt. Who would be calling at eleven thirty?
Hunter looked at his display, his belly tightening as he pressed the button to talk. “Jack, talk to me.”
“I’ve finally got some information, and you’re not going to like it.”
He hadn’t liked anything about Kata’s would-be assassin since he’d popped up. The whole thing stank.
“Kata’s hired hit man was ID’d through fingerprint records earlier this evening. I just found out. His name is Manuel Silva. The name mean anything to you?”
“Nothing. You find something out?”
“Yeah, this is where it gets ugly. He’s a well-known hit man, originally from Bogotá.”
The words sucked the air from his lungs. “Colombia? You’re sure?”
“One hundred percent. I made some of my local friends let me see the records before the CIA stepped in. Apparently, he was a person of serious interest to them. I’m still trying to learn why. The INS deported him a few years ago. He’s done a lot of jobs for lowlifes in the drug trade. He was last seen slinking around New Orleans a few weeks ago. His services were very expensive, probably close to one hundred grand a whack.” Jack sounded grim, and Hunter’s blood ran cold. “Whoever wanted Kata iced went to a lot of trouble and expense. The question is, why?”
For the first time in his life, he felt almost numb with fear. “I don’t know.”
“Kata doesn’t know anyone from New Orleans who might want her dead?”
“She’s never mentioned it. I’ll ask.”
“Good. I’ll keep seeing what else I can find and call you with any new information.”
“Thanks, Jack.” Though the news was really shitty. “Keep me posted.”
“What is it, son?” the Colonel asked as soon as he ended the call.
Hunter drew in a deep breath. “The assassin, Silva, is from Colombia. Probably came from New Orleans. I can’t figure out the connection. Cortez Villarreal deals in dope, but how would a small-town street thug from Lafayette even know the kind of badass killer who’s a person of interest to the CIA?”