“I promise to trust your choices from now on,” he said, stretching and patting his stomach.
I handed him the keys.
We had a great view of a snowcapped mountain range in the distance as we passed Flagstaff. There were trees again now, giant pines stretching upward.
My stomach knotted at a sign for California, and I counted down the mileage until Los Angeles. Kaidan must have noticed my crazy bouncing knee, because he attempted to distract me from my thoughts.
“You haven’t asked me any questions in ages,” he said.
“Let’s see. Okay. Basic Demonology 101. How does a demon get into a body?”
“Well, it’s difficult for two healthy souls to possess a body at once. A human soul can’t simply be shoved out of the way. I’m sure you’ve watched movies about exorcisms?”
“Heard of them, but never seen any.”
“Those stories are examples of possessions gone bad, usually some dissatisfied spirit whisperer who wants to stir up trouble. The demon soul and human soul fight over the body and the body wears down. It can get gory. Most often it ends in death.”
What a horrible way to go.
“Demons and angels both have free will, but rules still apply. Demons have been forbidden to physically harm humans, and that includes possessions. You with me so far?” I nodded, and he went on. “Dukes spend a lot of their time in hospitals and emergency rooms while they’re searching out a new body in their spirit form. When people are close to death and lose the will to live, the souls are just barely hanging on to their bodies, like a loose tooth. The Dukes can just pinch off the human soul and release it without protest, then enter the body before it dies and heal it with their powers. They heal much faster than us. They could share the bodies when the human souls are weak like that, but it hinders their powers within the body, so they prefer to be the only dwellers.”
“How do they decide who to pick?” I asked.
“That’s where it can get tricky. They seek out low-profile young or middle-aged people, preferably someone who isn’t surrounded by a big, doting family. It’s too much effort if there are humans who will search when the person disappears. Some Dukes want attractive bodies; some want to appear rougher. It can take a while to find a perfect match, but time doesn’t matter to them. Besides, the Dukes enjoy having an opportunity to whisper to humans while they’re hunting and waiting. A hospital is a perfect place to work, because emotions are already running high.”
“That’s disgusting,” I muttered.
“As far as life span,” he continued, “normal humans can live upward of one hundred and twenty years these days, but their life expectancy is lower because of health-related issues. Dukes and Neph don’t have those problems, so our bodies can make it that long. We’re not immune to aging, though. A body wears out, no matter how healthy it is. Dukes discard their bodies before they get to that point. Then it’s on to the next body and building a new false identity.”
“What happens when they leave the bodies?” I envisioned zombies.
“If no other soul was inhabiting it, the body appears to die of cardiac arrest.”
“Ah. I’ve been wondering about Nephilim souls. Are our souls half demon?”
Kaidan’s mouth lifted. “The questions you ask remind me of when I was a child. I asked the very same ones of my father.”
I tried to imagine young, inquisitive Kaidan looking up at the demon in his life, desperate for his attention. I wished I could hold that little boy.
“No,” he answered, “our souls are neither human nor demon. We Neph have our own unique souls, but as children of dark angels our souls are marked with demonic stains.”
I did not like the sound of that.
“I guess in your case you’ve got a bleached-out angel patch there, too,” he added.
Funny.
“There’s something else I’m confused about,” I said. “If I had a baby someday, would the childbirth kill me?”
“Yes, it would. Why? Are you thinking of conceiving?”
I gave his arm a little shove and he grinned, but he got serious again before answering.
“I’m not certain why, but nobody survives.”
I thought of my mother’s singing, and her love for me inside of her. She must have known she wouldn’t live to hold me, and yet she exuded pure joy.
“Were you able to sense your mother’s feelings when she was pregnant with you?” I asked him.
“Yes, I suppose because we were sharing a life source. I could sense moments of affection directed at me, even brief glimpses of love, but mostly she despaired. No doubt she was suffering from obsession with my father, but he saw her only as a vessel for his use. She was chosen for her beauty, and physical characteristics in her family that complemented his. When I was very small I asked him what happened to her and he said, ‘You killed her—shame, too. She was nice to look at.’”
He brought a hand up and ran his fingers through his hair, blocking my view of his face so I couldn’t see any hint of emotion that might have been there. I had a violent image of kicking Kaidan’s father in his prized lust parts. He cleared his throat and began again.
“My father has had one child in each life, all trained in music and manners, and highly educated.”
He stated the facts without any interest.
“Are any of them still living?”
“No.”
I handed him the keys.
We had a great view of a snowcapped mountain range in the distance as we passed Flagstaff. There were trees again now, giant pines stretching upward.
My stomach knotted at a sign for California, and I counted down the mileage until Los Angeles. Kaidan must have noticed my crazy bouncing knee, because he attempted to distract me from my thoughts.
“You haven’t asked me any questions in ages,” he said.
“Let’s see. Okay. Basic Demonology 101. How does a demon get into a body?”
“Well, it’s difficult for two healthy souls to possess a body at once. A human soul can’t simply be shoved out of the way. I’m sure you’ve watched movies about exorcisms?”
“Heard of them, but never seen any.”
“Those stories are examples of possessions gone bad, usually some dissatisfied spirit whisperer who wants to stir up trouble. The demon soul and human soul fight over the body and the body wears down. It can get gory. Most often it ends in death.”
What a horrible way to go.
“Demons and angels both have free will, but rules still apply. Demons have been forbidden to physically harm humans, and that includes possessions. You with me so far?” I nodded, and he went on. “Dukes spend a lot of their time in hospitals and emergency rooms while they’re searching out a new body in their spirit form. When people are close to death and lose the will to live, the souls are just barely hanging on to their bodies, like a loose tooth. The Dukes can just pinch off the human soul and release it without protest, then enter the body before it dies and heal it with their powers. They heal much faster than us. They could share the bodies when the human souls are weak like that, but it hinders their powers within the body, so they prefer to be the only dwellers.”
“How do they decide who to pick?” I asked.
“That’s where it can get tricky. They seek out low-profile young or middle-aged people, preferably someone who isn’t surrounded by a big, doting family. It’s too much effort if there are humans who will search when the person disappears. Some Dukes want attractive bodies; some want to appear rougher. It can take a while to find a perfect match, but time doesn’t matter to them. Besides, the Dukes enjoy having an opportunity to whisper to humans while they’re hunting and waiting. A hospital is a perfect place to work, because emotions are already running high.”
“That’s disgusting,” I muttered.
“As far as life span,” he continued, “normal humans can live upward of one hundred and twenty years these days, but their life expectancy is lower because of health-related issues. Dukes and Neph don’t have those problems, so our bodies can make it that long. We’re not immune to aging, though. A body wears out, no matter how healthy it is. Dukes discard their bodies before they get to that point. Then it’s on to the next body and building a new false identity.”
“What happens when they leave the bodies?” I envisioned zombies.
“If no other soul was inhabiting it, the body appears to die of cardiac arrest.”
“Ah. I’ve been wondering about Nephilim souls. Are our souls half demon?”
Kaidan’s mouth lifted. “The questions you ask remind me of when I was a child. I asked the very same ones of my father.”
I tried to imagine young, inquisitive Kaidan looking up at the demon in his life, desperate for his attention. I wished I could hold that little boy.
“No,” he answered, “our souls are neither human nor demon. We Neph have our own unique souls, but as children of dark angels our souls are marked with demonic stains.”
I did not like the sound of that.
“I guess in your case you’ve got a bleached-out angel patch there, too,” he added.
Funny.
“There’s something else I’m confused about,” I said. “If I had a baby someday, would the childbirth kill me?”
“Yes, it would. Why? Are you thinking of conceiving?”
I gave his arm a little shove and he grinned, but he got serious again before answering.
“I’m not certain why, but nobody survives.”
I thought of my mother’s singing, and her love for me inside of her. She must have known she wouldn’t live to hold me, and yet she exuded pure joy.
“Were you able to sense your mother’s feelings when she was pregnant with you?” I asked him.
“Yes, I suppose because we were sharing a life source. I could sense moments of affection directed at me, even brief glimpses of love, but mostly she despaired. No doubt she was suffering from obsession with my father, but he saw her only as a vessel for his use. She was chosen for her beauty, and physical characteristics in her family that complemented his. When I was very small I asked him what happened to her and he said, ‘You killed her—shame, too. She was nice to look at.’”
He brought a hand up and ran his fingers through his hair, blocking my view of his face so I couldn’t see any hint of emotion that might have been there. I had a violent image of kicking Kaidan’s father in his prized lust parts. He cleared his throat and began again.
“My father has had one child in each life, all trained in music and manners, and highly educated.”
He stated the facts without any interest.
“Are any of them still living?”
“No.”
