“Lucifer,” I whispered.
“Yep. I’d never met anyone like him. He had the kind of personality that draws others in. I wanted to hear everything he had to say. Mariantha said he gave her a bad feeling. She didn’t think that a single angel needed to stand out so brightly. It was the only thing we ever disagreed on.”
His face and tone were steeped in melancholy as he looked down at our hands.
“I started going to meetings to hear Lucifer speak. He was, and is, the master of deception. He would glorify God’s work and the work of the realm, and then sneak in one backhanded comment to leave us pondering. Over time, the tiny seeds of doubt started to grow, and so did the number of angels who gathered to listen. Lucifer used partial truths mixed with lies, and we fell for it. I was shocked the day I realized my feelings about everything had changed. I didn’t tell Mariantha.” He whispered that last line with regret. Dread filled me, knowing where the story was headed.
“Lucifer gained a huge following. He knew he’d succeeded in warping our thoughts, and was ready to go full force. He told us with total conviction that God was secretly creating a new race and a whole new realm just for these humans. Lucifer said that the Maker was obsessed like a child with a new toy. He planned to use us angels as no more than slaves to the new race: the humans. Humans would have luxuries and freedoms and experiences that angels would never be allowed. We angels would be used, and trampled, and forgotten. I was pissed— Sorry, hon. Excuse my language.”
I held back a smile. How cute that this giant demon was apologizing for a light curse.
“I was such a fool.” He shook his head, remembering. “I really believed God was fallible. I thought he’d lost his mind. And I wasn’t alone. One-third of the angels in heaven stood behind Lucifer. An angry mob of angels. Who could have imagined?”
He let go of my hand for a brief moment to smooth down his facial hair, in thought.
“I had to tell Mariantha everything at that point. She begged me not to fight, but I knew that when it was all over and she saw the truth, she would forgive me and understand. So I left and joined the war. You know what happened after we lost, don’t you?”
I swallowed. “You were cast into the pits of hell.”
He nodded, looking painfully glum. “It wasn’t till I found myself down there that I realized Lucifer’s deception. Others realized it, too, but most still blindly supported him. I kept to myself ’cause I knew it would be dangerous to speak out against him. My silent nature earned me respect. They thought I was broody and vengeful, but in actuality I was hating myself for what I did to Mariantha. I couldn’t stop thinking about her.”
He stopped to look up at the ceiling. His heart still hurt after all this time. I rubbed his hands, encouraging him to continue.
“So, time passed and we heard stories about earth and humanity’s creation. Lucifer sent up spies. He became bolder and bolder, sending up rebel angels to turn humans against the Creator.”
His head suddenly snapped up and he looked over my shoulder. A strange hissing whisper came from deep in my father’s throat, and his eyes flashed bright red. I yanked my hands away. When he looked back at me he seemed completely normal.
“Sorry about that,” he said, distracted. “They’re not supposed to work in my territory.”
I couldn’t respond. The entire episode, lasting no more than two seconds, had been the most terrifying thing I’d ever witnessed. Was that inhuman hissing some sort of demon language? I looked around, but no one else had noticed.
“I didn’t mean to scare you. This isn’t exactly a conversation for their ears, you know?”
“Yeah,” I said. “I just didn’t understand at first, because I can’t see them.”
“Really?” His forehead wrinkled as his eyebrows came together in worry. “That could be a problem.”
I touched my necklace, still shaken.
“I might be wrong,” I said. “But it sounds to me like you actually respect God. I don’t understand how that can be, though, considering your... line of work.” I lowered my eyes, hoping he wasn’t offended.
“Ironic, huh?” His mouth hitched into a satirical grin. “I deserve hell. I was led astray too easily.”
His forearms were still on the table, open palms up. I slipped my hands into his again, and he squeezed them.
“I worked my way up the ladder in hell for selfish reasons. I heard each human was assigned a guardian angel, and I became obsessed with the possibility of seeing Mariantha again. Something about my dreary attitude and hard work must have impressed Lucifer, because I found myself earthbound in the 1700s, with the job of leading humans to eventual addiction.”
I felt a flicker of shame at the thought of drugs, and although I was careful to keep my colors hidden, my face was harder to control.
“I’m afraid I’ve been too successful,” he whispered. “I knew when I was made a Duke that I would have to do a good job to keep the position. It was horrible when I came to earth and saw the human souls trapped in their physical forms. They were miraculous creations, truly a work of genius and love. But they’re at odds with their own bodies. My job was too easy. I focused on seeing as many guardian angels as I could across the world, hundreds of thousands of them. It was the only thing worth existing for. I’d already lost everything.
“And then, seventeen years ago, I was in a small town not too far from here called Hemet, checking on one of my dealers there. I went into his house, and I’ll never forget the moment I saw her. Damn, she was a beautiful sight,” he whispered, pausing as if to replay the memory. “She was leaning over a human woman who was passed out on a mattress in the corner curled up real small—I thought she was a kid at first. You’re a pipsqueak like her.”
“Yep. I’d never met anyone like him. He had the kind of personality that draws others in. I wanted to hear everything he had to say. Mariantha said he gave her a bad feeling. She didn’t think that a single angel needed to stand out so brightly. It was the only thing we ever disagreed on.”
His face and tone were steeped in melancholy as he looked down at our hands.
“I started going to meetings to hear Lucifer speak. He was, and is, the master of deception. He would glorify God’s work and the work of the realm, and then sneak in one backhanded comment to leave us pondering. Over time, the tiny seeds of doubt started to grow, and so did the number of angels who gathered to listen. Lucifer used partial truths mixed with lies, and we fell for it. I was shocked the day I realized my feelings about everything had changed. I didn’t tell Mariantha.” He whispered that last line with regret. Dread filled me, knowing where the story was headed.
“Lucifer gained a huge following. He knew he’d succeeded in warping our thoughts, and was ready to go full force. He told us with total conviction that God was secretly creating a new race and a whole new realm just for these humans. Lucifer said that the Maker was obsessed like a child with a new toy. He planned to use us angels as no more than slaves to the new race: the humans. Humans would have luxuries and freedoms and experiences that angels would never be allowed. We angels would be used, and trampled, and forgotten. I was pissed— Sorry, hon. Excuse my language.”
I held back a smile. How cute that this giant demon was apologizing for a light curse.
“I was such a fool.” He shook his head, remembering. “I really believed God was fallible. I thought he’d lost his mind. And I wasn’t alone. One-third of the angels in heaven stood behind Lucifer. An angry mob of angels. Who could have imagined?”
He let go of my hand for a brief moment to smooth down his facial hair, in thought.
“I had to tell Mariantha everything at that point. She begged me not to fight, but I knew that when it was all over and she saw the truth, she would forgive me and understand. So I left and joined the war. You know what happened after we lost, don’t you?”
I swallowed. “You were cast into the pits of hell.”
He nodded, looking painfully glum. “It wasn’t till I found myself down there that I realized Lucifer’s deception. Others realized it, too, but most still blindly supported him. I kept to myself ’cause I knew it would be dangerous to speak out against him. My silent nature earned me respect. They thought I was broody and vengeful, but in actuality I was hating myself for what I did to Mariantha. I couldn’t stop thinking about her.”
He stopped to look up at the ceiling. His heart still hurt after all this time. I rubbed his hands, encouraging him to continue.
“So, time passed and we heard stories about earth and humanity’s creation. Lucifer sent up spies. He became bolder and bolder, sending up rebel angels to turn humans against the Creator.”
His head suddenly snapped up and he looked over my shoulder. A strange hissing whisper came from deep in my father’s throat, and his eyes flashed bright red. I yanked my hands away. When he looked back at me he seemed completely normal.
“Sorry about that,” he said, distracted. “They’re not supposed to work in my territory.”
I couldn’t respond. The entire episode, lasting no more than two seconds, had been the most terrifying thing I’d ever witnessed. Was that inhuman hissing some sort of demon language? I looked around, but no one else had noticed.
“I didn’t mean to scare you. This isn’t exactly a conversation for their ears, you know?”
“Yeah,” I said. “I just didn’t understand at first, because I can’t see them.”
“Really?” His forehead wrinkled as his eyebrows came together in worry. “That could be a problem.”
I touched my necklace, still shaken.
“I might be wrong,” I said. “But it sounds to me like you actually respect God. I don’t understand how that can be, though, considering your... line of work.” I lowered my eyes, hoping he wasn’t offended.
“Ironic, huh?” His mouth hitched into a satirical grin. “I deserve hell. I was led astray too easily.”
His forearms were still on the table, open palms up. I slipped my hands into his again, and he squeezed them.
“I worked my way up the ladder in hell for selfish reasons. I heard each human was assigned a guardian angel, and I became obsessed with the possibility of seeing Mariantha again. Something about my dreary attitude and hard work must have impressed Lucifer, because I found myself earthbound in the 1700s, with the job of leading humans to eventual addiction.”
I felt a flicker of shame at the thought of drugs, and although I was careful to keep my colors hidden, my face was harder to control.
“I’m afraid I’ve been too successful,” he whispered. “I knew when I was made a Duke that I would have to do a good job to keep the position. It was horrible when I came to earth and saw the human souls trapped in their physical forms. They were miraculous creations, truly a work of genius and love. But they’re at odds with their own bodies. My job was too easy. I focused on seeing as many guardian angels as I could across the world, hundreds of thousands of them. It was the only thing worth existing for. I’d already lost everything.
“And then, seventeen years ago, I was in a small town not too far from here called Hemet, checking on one of my dealers there. I went into his house, and I’ll never forget the moment I saw her. Damn, she was a beautiful sight,” he whispered, pausing as if to replay the memory. “She was leaning over a human woman who was passed out on a mattress in the corner curled up real small—I thought she was a kid at first. You’re a pipsqueak like her.”
