“Why?” I forced out.
His voice was soft, but still held that serious edge. “Things have gotten too complicated.”
“Do you mean because of the sword, or is it me?” I asked.
“It’s you.” What had I done, besides care for him? This was unfair!
“Is it so unbearable to be around someone who cares for you?” I asked.
“I’d say that you’re feeling a bit more than ‘care’ for me, Anna.” He was getting snippy now, gripping the steering wheel. “I could see your emotion popping around you like pink bubble gum last night.”
“So what?!” I was fully awake and working up the volume now. “I haven’t tried to say it to you. I’m sorry that I lost focus for a second and let you see it!”
He took the airport exit, speaking to me with maddening calmness bordering on coldness. “Don’t be dramatic about this.”
“You don’t call this dramatic? Abandoning me at the airport before daylight?”
“I’ll see that you’re in safe hands before I leave.” His calm demeanor unnerved me.
“Don’t bother,” I spit. I could see now how people said hurtful things to the ones they loved out of anger. In my mind I ran through all of the cutting things I could say to him.
He pulled up to a departure curb and put the car in park.
Just as quickly as my anger had come, it was now replaced by sadness.
“I’ve never even been on a plane,” I said, grasping at straws.
“You will be fine.”
“I want to stay with you.” Desperation.
“You can’t,” he said in zombie mode. “Your father was right. You should get home as soon as possible. I don’t trust myself with you.”
“Don’t trust yourself? Or don’t trust me?”
He stared straight ahead as we sat there. I grabbed the fabric at his shoulder and tugged. “Answer me!”
He turned his face, and as our eyes met his calm facade cracked, unleashing his anger and fears.
“I don’t trust either of us! We can’t be together in any capacity ever again. It’s a damn-near miracle you’re still a virgin now. If that Sword of Righteousness is intended for you to use, then you should want to stay away from me, too, because I promise I could not resist if you told me to pull the car into the parking garage right now.” He leaned closer. “Could you resist a drug if I repeatedly placed it on the tip of your tongue, Ann? Could you? We’re playing with fire!”
He looked beyond me to the airport, breathing hard.
“So, what are you going to do now?” I asked him. “Go back to doing your father’s work and pretend you never knew me?”
He sighed and his demeanor softened. “What would you have me do?”
What would I have him do? Have meaningless sex with girl after girl, or deny his father and be killed? Both thoughts shot through me like iced arrows, piercing my heart.
“You have to work,” I choked out. I hated the truth of it.
The look he gave me was full of bitterness.
“Do you know what my father said when I came home the night after he met you? He said God was a fool to put you in my path. And he was right.”
“No.” I gritted my teeth. “Your father was wrong! And how do you know it wasn’t you who was put in my path? There’s a purpose for you in all of this, too.”
Kaidan shook his head. I could see his jaw clenching in the indention of his temple. He looked at me hard.
“Do you want to know why my father chose to live in Atlanta, even though his job was in New York? He’s got this infatuation going on with that human woman Marissa. She’s the madam of an underground prostitution ring in Atlanta. International sex slavery. Young girls from starving families are sold to her. And guess who gets to introduce those girls to their new lives?”
I held my breath and froze. There were no words to comfort this kind of pain. My stomach clenched.
“Marissa calls the girls her nieces. The girl they brought me the night before our trip was the youngest ever. She couldn’t have been twelve.”
Dear God.
“For the first time ever I refused him, told him I couldn’t. And do you know why?”
I shook my head, riveted by his eyes as the words poured out of him fast and powerful.
“Because all I could think about was you, Anna, and how good you are, and what you’d think. You put thoughts into my head that Neph shouldn’t have!” He paused, staring out the window. “My father let it slide for now, but he was furious. He’ll be watching me now, testing me. I can’t afford to have anything more to do with you.”
We were quiet a long time. I didn’t want to leave him yet. Not like this. I had no idea what to say.
“Kai... I know you’re scared and freaked out. I am, too. But maybe this sword is a sign that something’s going to happen. Something good for the Neph.”
His head was lowered. He was staring blankly at the console between us.
“You felt power when you touched the hilt, didn’t you?” he asked, lifting his blue eyes to me through strands of hair. I nodded. “Well, I didn’t. I’m not worthy to help with whatever plan they have for you. So just go back to your sweet and innocent life and stay away from me.”
“Please,” I begged. “Don’t push me away. We can be friends, and—”
He took my chin in his firm hand and looked at me.
His voice was soft, but still held that serious edge. “Things have gotten too complicated.”
“Do you mean because of the sword, or is it me?” I asked.
“It’s you.” What had I done, besides care for him? This was unfair!
“Is it so unbearable to be around someone who cares for you?” I asked.
“I’d say that you’re feeling a bit more than ‘care’ for me, Anna.” He was getting snippy now, gripping the steering wheel. “I could see your emotion popping around you like pink bubble gum last night.”
“So what?!” I was fully awake and working up the volume now. “I haven’t tried to say it to you. I’m sorry that I lost focus for a second and let you see it!”
He took the airport exit, speaking to me with maddening calmness bordering on coldness. “Don’t be dramatic about this.”
“You don’t call this dramatic? Abandoning me at the airport before daylight?”
“I’ll see that you’re in safe hands before I leave.” His calm demeanor unnerved me.
“Don’t bother,” I spit. I could see now how people said hurtful things to the ones they loved out of anger. In my mind I ran through all of the cutting things I could say to him.
He pulled up to a departure curb and put the car in park.
Just as quickly as my anger had come, it was now replaced by sadness.
“I’ve never even been on a plane,” I said, grasping at straws.
“You will be fine.”
“I want to stay with you.” Desperation.
“You can’t,” he said in zombie mode. “Your father was right. You should get home as soon as possible. I don’t trust myself with you.”
“Don’t trust yourself? Or don’t trust me?”
He stared straight ahead as we sat there. I grabbed the fabric at his shoulder and tugged. “Answer me!”
He turned his face, and as our eyes met his calm facade cracked, unleashing his anger and fears.
“I don’t trust either of us! We can’t be together in any capacity ever again. It’s a damn-near miracle you’re still a virgin now. If that Sword of Righteousness is intended for you to use, then you should want to stay away from me, too, because I promise I could not resist if you told me to pull the car into the parking garage right now.” He leaned closer. “Could you resist a drug if I repeatedly placed it on the tip of your tongue, Ann? Could you? We’re playing with fire!”
He looked beyond me to the airport, breathing hard.
“So, what are you going to do now?” I asked him. “Go back to doing your father’s work and pretend you never knew me?”
He sighed and his demeanor softened. “What would you have me do?”
What would I have him do? Have meaningless sex with girl after girl, or deny his father and be killed? Both thoughts shot through me like iced arrows, piercing my heart.
“You have to work,” I choked out. I hated the truth of it.
The look he gave me was full of bitterness.
“Do you know what my father said when I came home the night after he met you? He said God was a fool to put you in my path. And he was right.”
“No.” I gritted my teeth. “Your father was wrong! And how do you know it wasn’t you who was put in my path? There’s a purpose for you in all of this, too.”
Kaidan shook his head. I could see his jaw clenching in the indention of his temple. He looked at me hard.
“Do you want to know why my father chose to live in Atlanta, even though his job was in New York? He’s got this infatuation going on with that human woman Marissa. She’s the madam of an underground prostitution ring in Atlanta. International sex slavery. Young girls from starving families are sold to her. And guess who gets to introduce those girls to their new lives?”
I held my breath and froze. There were no words to comfort this kind of pain. My stomach clenched.
“Marissa calls the girls her nieces. The girl they brought me the night before our trip was the youngest ever. She couldn’t have been twelve.”
Dear God.
“For the first time ever I refused him, told him I couldn’t. And do you know why?”
I shook my head, riveted by his eyes as the words poured out of him fast and powerful.
“Because all I could think about was you, Anna, and how good you are, and what you’d think. You put thoughts into my head that Neph shouldn’t have!” He paused, staring out the window. “My father let it slide for now, but he was furious. He’ll be watching me now, testing me. I can’t afford to have anything more to do with you.”
We were quiet a long time. I didn’t want to leave him yet. Not like this. I had no idea what to say.
“Kai... I know you’re scared and freaked out. I am, too. But maybe this sword is a sign that something’s going to happen. Something good for the Neph.”
His head was lowered. He was staring blankly at the console between us.
“You felt power when you touched the hilt, didn’t you?” he asked, lifting his blue eyes to me through strands of hair. I nodded. “Well, I didn’t. I’m not worthy to help with whatever plan they have for you. So just go back to your sweet and innocent life and stay away from me.”
“Please,” I begged. “Don’t push me away. We can be friends, and—”
He took my chin in his firm hand and looked at me.
