“To be honest, I don’t feel so good.”
She stopped walking and made me look at her. “Do you need to go home or get some medicine?”
“No. I’ll be fine.” I tugged us forward again until we were in the line with the other well-dressed kids, mostly college age. Those twenty-one and over were given neon orange wristbands. Those under twenty-one got huge Xs on their hands with permanent markers. Veronica frowned down at the ugly marks on her pretty hands as we walked in.
The Xs were going to put a damper on the whole drinking thing. I was sure there’d be ways around it, though I didn’t know what they were. The party wasn’t crowded yet, only at half capacity.
“Oh, look, there’s Jay!” Veronica dashed straight to the deejay booth and bounced on the balls of her feet. “Excuse me, sir, can I request a song?”
Jay stood and looked down over the tall barrier. He pulled off his headphones.
“Wussup? You girls ready to party or what?”
I put on a closemouthed smile while Veronica let out a little, “Whoot!”
“I got you guys,” said Jay, putting one side of the headphones against his ear. “This one’s for you, Roni.”
She hollered when her song came on, and dragged me out to the dance floor, which was too bright and empty for my comfort.
Jay had done a good thing by putting on the popular song, because more people came up to dance, and the hotel dimmed the lights in the room. Much better.
When the song ended I fanned myself with my hands and looked around. Standing at the far wall was a stunning group of people who made me drop my arms to my sides. The Neph were here, and they were staring straight through the crowd at me.
I gave myself one moment to take in the sight of Kaidan. He wore black dress slacks and a royal blue dress shirt, which made his eye color pop, even from a distance. His tie had abstract blue, black, and silver designs. His hands were shoved in his pockets, and a dangling wallet chain was his only nondressy attribute. He wouldn’t avert his eyes from mine, and I flushed warm, wondering whether he’d watched me dancing.
“Is that who I think it is?” Veronica had followed my gaze, and I nodded. She wasn’t too thrilled about his being there, considering the wreck I’d become after seeing him at Halloween.
“I’m gonna get a drink and go talk to Jay,” Veronica said. “You want something?”
“Can you get me a water, please? I’m just going to run to the bathroom.”
In the giant, luxury bathroom I tried to scrub the screaming Xs off my hands, but it wasn’t happening. I angled myself at the corner sink, so as not to draw attention to myself. I felt warm bodies come up behind me and saw the twins reflected in the mirror. Ginger pulled something from her slim purse and set it on the sink.
“Use this,” she said.
I squirted the gritty stuff on and used my short nails to rub the skin for several minutes. It stung like heck. When I rinsed it off there were barely shadows of the Xs remaining. It would have to be good enough, because my hands were raw. I patted them with a hand towel and noticed both twins had wristbands, even though they were only eighteen. Oh, that was right; they had fake IDs. Marna must have known what was on my mind, because she reached into her deep cleavage and pulled out another wristband, handing the warm thing to me, which I took with my fingertips.
“Er, thanks.”
She laughed and took it back, deciding to put it on me herself.
“When do you think they’ll get here?” I whispered. Girls were coming in and out of the bathroom, but nobody paid us any attention.
“Don’t worry about that,” Ginger advised me. “Just work as if they’re always there.”
“Anna,” Marna said quietly, “do you know, when I had to start working at the age of thirteen, I still couldn’t see them?”
“You don’t have to talk about that,” Ginger said. Marna looked at her.
“It’s all right. I want to tell her.” She moved closer so I could hear. “When I turned thirteen, after a year of training and everything I’d learned, I still couldn’t see them. So my father sent for the sons of Thamuz to rid me of whatever innocence I had left.”
“Duke of Murder.” Ginger whispered the three words as if she were contemplating murder herself.
“He sent Nephilim?” I asked.
“Yes, but they’re not like us. They’re ruthless. I wasn’t a virgin, but... no guy had ever hurt me like that. Every time I’d scream or cry they’d hit me. I thought they were going to kill me. And then the spirits came, whispering to me while the sons of Thamuz took turns. I think the worst part was not having my own thoughts to myself. I couldn’t not think about what was happening.”
I broke away from the sisters and hurried into the large handicapped stall, leaning my weight on the handrail. I’d almost gotten sick while Marna told her story. I yanked off some toilet paper and dabbed under my eyes. I’d sworn to myself I wouldn’t be caught crying tonight. It was too dan-gerous.
The twins followed me into the stall. Ginger pulled the door closed and latched it. Marna stroked my hair and then my cheeks, and I allowed myself one last shudder before pulling it together.
“I only told you all that so you could be prepared,” Marna said. “They’re going to say things to you, and you have to ignore them. You can’t let them get to you. Keep your cool and try to pretend those voices are just an annoying telly program with the volume too high. They can’t hurt you unless you let them. I let them, and I don’t want you to make the same mistake.”
She stopped walking and made me look at her. “Do you need to go home or get some medicine?”
“No. I’ll be fine.” I tugged us forward again until we were in the line with the other well-dressed kids, mostly college age. Those twenty-one and over were given neon orange wristbands. Those under twenty-one got huge Xs on their hands with permanent markers. Veronica frowned down at the ugly marks on her pretty hands as we walked in.
The Xs were going to put a damper on the whole drinking thing. I was sure there’d be ways around it, though I didn’t know what they were. The party wasn’t crowded yet, only at half capacity.
“Oh, look, there’s Jay!” Veronica dashed straight to the deejay booth and bounced on the balls of her feet. “Excuse me, sir, can I request a song?”
Jay stood and looked down over the tall barrier. He pulled off his headphones.
“Wussup? You girls ready to party or what?”
I put on a closemouthed smile while Veronica let out a little, “Whoot!”
“I got you guys,” said Jay, putting one side of the headphones against his ear. “This one’s for you, Roni.”
She hollered when her song came on, and dragged me out to the dance floor, which was too bright and empty for my comfort.
Jay had done a good thing by putting on the popular song, because more people came up to dance, and the hotel dimmed the lights in the room. Much better.
When the song ended I fanned myself with my hands and looked around. Standing at the far wall was a stunning group of people who made me drop my arms to my sides. The Neph were here, and they were staring straight through the crowd at me.
I gave myself one moment to take in the sight of Kaidan. He wore black dress slacks and a royal blue dress shirt, which made his eye color pop, even from a distance. His tie had abstract blue, black, and silver designs. His hands were shoved in his pockets, and a dangling wallet chain was his only nondressy attribute. He wouldn’t avert his eyes from mine, and I flushed warm, wondering whether he’d watched me dancing.
“Is that who I think it is?” Veronica had followed my gaze, and I nodded. She wasn’t too thrilled about his being there, considering the wreck I’d become after seeing him at Halloween.
“I’m gonna get a drink and go talk to Jay,” Veronica said. “You want something?”
“Can you get me a water, please? I’m just going to run to the bathroom.”
In the giant, luxury bathroom I tried to scrub the screaming Xs off my hands, but it wasn’t happening. I angled myself at the corner sink, so as not to draw attention to myself. I felt warm bodies come up behind me and saw the twins reflected in the mirror. Ginger pulled something from her slim purse and set it on the sink.
“Use this,” she said.
I squirted the gritty stuff on and used my short nails to rub the skin for several minutes. It stung like heck. When I rinsed it off there were barely shadows of the Xs remaining. It would have to be good enough, because my hands were raw. I patted them with a hand towel and noticed both twins had wristbands, even though they were only eighteen. Oh, that was right; they had fake IDs. Marna must have known what was on my mind, because she reached into her deep cleavage and pulled out another wristband, handing the warm thing to me, which I took with my fingertips.
“Er, thanks.”
She laughed and took it back, deciding to put it on me herself.
“When do you think they’ll get here?” I whispered. Girls were coming in and out of the bathroom, but nobody paid us any attention.
“Don’t worry about that,” Ginger advised me. “Just work as if they’re always there.”
“Anna,” Marna said quietly, “do you know, when I had to start working at the age of thirteen, I still couldn’t see them?”
“You don’t have to talk about that,” Ginger said. Marna looked at her.
“It’s all right. I want to tell her.” She moved closer so I could hear. “When I turned thirteen, after a year of training and everything I’d learned, I still couldn’t see them. So my father sent for the sons of Thamuz to rid me of whatever innocence I had left.”
“Duke of Murder.” Ginger whispered the three words as if she were contemplating murder herself.
“He sent Nephilim?” I asked.
“Yes, but they’re not like us. They’re ruthless. I wasn’t a virgin, but... no guy had ever hurt me like that. Every time I’d scream or cry they’d hit me. I thought they were going to kill me. And then the spirits came, whispering to me while the sons of Thamuz took turns. I think the worst part was not having my own thoughts to myself. I couldn’t not think about what was happening.”
I broke away from the sisters and hurried into the large handicapped stall, leaning my weight on the handrail. I’d almost gotten sick while Marna told her story. I yanked off some toilet paper and dabbed under my eyes. I’d sworn to myself I wouldn’t be caught crying tonight. It was too dan-gerous.
The twins followed me into the stall. Ginger pulled the door closed and latched it. Marna stroked my hair and then my cheeks, and I allowed myself one last shudder before pulling it together.
“I only told you all that so you could be prepared,” Marna said. “They’re going to say things to you, and you have to ignore them. You can’t let them get to you. Keep your cool and try to pretend those voices are just an annoying telly program with the volume too high. They can’t hurt you unless you let them. I let them, and I don’t want you to make the same mistake.”
