The tight coil of tension in my stomach began to slowly unwind. I felt like I could breathe again.
“Austin, I know you haven’t got a man in the house, that your daddy didn’t do right by you, that you boys got a rough deal and had to make a life for your momma the best way you knew how. I get that you boys are tight—Axel, Levi, yourself. But you got a chance at a better life, son. You could give your momma the world then. Guide Levi on the right path. Hell, I’m expecting to see that kid start for the Tide in the future.”
A physical pain actually sliced through my chest. A better life for my mamma in what, nine or ten months? When I got drafted and got my first big paycheck? Months she didn’t have—the harsh truth that Coach knew shit about.
In response, I just asked, “Am I good to go now, Coach?”
Coach moved back around his desk and took a seat again, slipping his glasses back in place. “You’re good.”
Just as I was about to exit through the door, I glanced back, my hand frozen on the handle. “I appreciate you looking out for me, Coach, but this time y’all are dead wrong.”
Coach dipped his chin in acknowledgement, but I could see the doubt in his eyes. I walked out, pulling the door closed behind me, and rested my head against the thick wood.
“Well, hell, boy, what was that all about?”
I breathed slowly through my nose and turned around to see Jimmy-Don Smith and Rome Prince, my best friends, leaning back against the opposite wall. Jimmy-Don was a big Texan offensive lineman, and the most genuinely nice guy I’d ever met. Rome Prince was like my brother. Hell, I got on with him better than my own brothers, for Christ’s sake. Most talented guy I’d ever played with. He didn’t see it, though. Most humble guy I knew. And with his long blond hair and stacked frame, he was also more than a hit with chicks. On the surface, everything for him seemed perfect, but he was just like me—pretty damn f**ked up—and the only person who knew the real me.
When I said nothing to JD’s question, they both glanced at each other and Rome stepped forward, concern on his face. “You good, man?”
Running my hands down my cheeks, I indicated with a flick of my chin for them both to move outta sight and into the players’ lounge. Once inside, Rome motioned for Jimmy-Don to lock the door, and we slumped on the sofas.
“So?” Rome pushed. Patience wasn’t his strong suit. That was why I liked Rome, straight to the point and didn’t take no shit. Jimmy-Don, on the other hand, was as laidback as he was big—very.
“Drugs, coke, on campus. Coach thinks it may be Axel and the Heighters.”
Rome sat back in his seat and gritted his teeth in frustration. “Fuck. Not this shit again.”
I’d known Rome pretty much my entire life. Hell, he practically lived with my family when we were kids, the multimillionaire oil tycoon’s son camping out on my bedroom floor in my doublewide ’cause his daddy liked to use him as a punch bag. When we were teens, Rome saw my elder brother and me drafted into the crew, and he went nuclear. He was also one of the biggest reasons I got out. He’d refused to sign on for the Tide unless we came as a package deal. The guy changed my life, and he hated Axel.
“And what did you tell him?” Jimmy-Don asked. It was one of the only times I’d seen the big guy serious. No cracking jokes. No stupid comments. He knew this shit was real bad for me. Knew what it could mean for my career… for my life.
“Told him the f**kin’ truth. It’s not Axel. He wouldn’t do this to me. Not here. Not now. He wouldn’t f**k up my dreams when I had them in my sights.”
Jimmy-Don looked across at Rome, who shook his head. “You’re f**kin’ dreaming, eighty-three,” he said flatly, using my jersey number instead of my name. He’d always done that, ever since we were kids.
“Rome, don’t. I can’t hear this shit from you too,” I said as calmly as possible.
“Well, you’re gonna. I’ve known Axel as long as I’ve known you, and your bro’s trouble, Aust.”
“Rome.” I groaned.
“You don’t owe him,” he snapped back.
I sank farther back into the sofa and tipped my head back. “I do.”
“Bullshit! If it weren’t for that dick, you never woulda got roped into the Heighters in the first place!”
“And if it weren’t for that dick, I wouldn’t ’a got out either. I do owe him, man. And he’s got my back, ’til the end. This shit here on campus ain’t him. I’d stake my life on it.”
Rome huffed a disbelieving laugh, but he didn’t speak. The silence between us only brought more tension, so without looking at my two friends, I said, “Can you just leave me the hell alone? I need a minute.”
I listened to them both move, then Rome shut the door with a slam.
I finally dropped my eyes, only to stare at the crimson-carpeted floor.
I knew Rome was only looking out for me, but he couldn’t understand what it was like being so poor you could barely survive each day. He couldn’t understand how a kid could get so hungry he’d raid restaurant trashcans for something to stop the hunger pangs in his stomach. He couldn’t understand when that kid was sick, there were no fancy pills to make him better. There was no health insurance plan that covered drug dealers from the trailer park in the part of town that even God had forgotten about. And he certainly couldn’t understand life within the crew. How once you were in, you were in for life… And he couldn’t understand why I owed Axel everything for getting me the hell out when I was seventeen.
“Austin, I know you haven’t got a man in the house, that your daddy didn’t do right by you, that you boys got a rough deal and had to make a life for your momma the best way you knew how. I get that you boys are tight—Axel, Levi, yourself. But you got a chance at a better life, son. You could give your momma the world then. Guide Levi on the right path. Hell, I’m expecting to see that kid start for the Tide in the future.”
A physical pain actually sliced through my chest. A better life for my mamma in what, nine or ten months? When I got drafted and got my first big paycheck? Months she didn’t have—the harsh truth that Coach knew shit about.
In response, I just asked, “Am I good to go now, Coach?”
Coach moved back around his desk and took a seat again, slipping his glasses back in place. “You’re good.”
Just as I was about to exit through the door, I glanced back, my hand frozen on the handle. “I appreciate you looking out for me, Coach, but this time y’all are dead wrong.”
Coach dipped his chin in acknowledgement, but I could see the doubt in his eyes. I walked out, pulling the door closed behind me, and rested my head against the thick wood.
“Well, hell, boy, what was that all about?”
I breathed slowly through my nose and turned around to see Jimmy-Don Smith and Rome Prince, my best friends, leaning back against the opposite wall. Jimmy-Don was a big Texan offensive lineman, and the most genuinely nice guy I’d ever met. Rome Prince was like my brother. Hell, I got on with him better than my own brothers, for Christ’s sake. Most talented guy I’d ever played with. He didn’t see it, though. Most humble guy I knew. And with his long blond hair and stacked frame, he was also more than a hit with chicks. On the surface, everything for him seemed perfect, but he was just like me—pretty damn f**ked up—and the only person who knew the real me.
When I said nothing to JD’s question, they both glanced at each other and Rome stepped forward, concern on his face. “You good, man?”
Running my hands down my cheeks, I indicated with a flick of my chin for them both to move outta sight and into the players’ lounge. Once inside, Rome motioned for Jimmy-Don to lock the door, and we slumped on the sofas.
“So?” Rome pushed. Patience wasn’t his strong suit. That was why I liked Rome, straight to the point and didn’t take no shit. Jimmy-Don, on the other hand, was as laidback as he was big—very.
“Drugs, coke, on campus. Coach thinks it may be Axel and the Heighters.”
Rome sat back in his seat and gritted his teeth in frustration. “Fuck. Not this shit again.”
I’d known Rome pretty much my entire life. Hell, he practically lived with my family when we were kids, the multimillionaire oil tycoon’s son camping out on my bedroom floor in my doublewide ’cause his daddy liked to use him as a punch bag. When we were teens, Rome saw my elder brother and me drafted into the crew, and he went nuclear. He was also one of the biggest reasons I got out. He’d refused to sign on for the Tide unless we came as a package deal. The guy changed my life, and he hated Axel.
“And what did you tell him?” Jimmy-Don asked. It was one of the only times I’d seen the big guy serious. No cracking jokes. No stupid comments. He knew this shit was real bad for me. Knew what it could mean for my career… for my life.
“Told him the f**kin’ truth. It’s not Axel. He wouldn’t do this to me. Not here. Not now. He wouldn’t f**k up my dreams when I had them in my sights.”
Jimmy-Don looked across at Rome, who shook his head. “You’re f**kin’ dreaming, eighty-three,” he said flatly, using my jersey number instead of my name. He’d always done that, ever since we were kids.
“Rome, don’t. I can’t hear this shit from you too,” I said as calmly as possible.
“Well, you’re gonna. I’ve known Axel as long as I’ve known you, and your bro’s trouble, Aust.”
“Rome.” I groaned.
“You don’t owe him,” he snapped back.
I sank farther back into the sofa and tipped my head back. “I do.”
“Bullshit! If it weren’t for that dick, you never woulda got roped into the Heighters in the first place!”
“And if it weren’t for that dick, I wouldn’t ’a got out either. I do owe him, man. And he’s got my back, ’til the end. This shit here on campus ain’t him. I’d stake my life on it.”
Rome huffed a disbelieving laugh, but he didn’t speak. The silence between us only brought more tension, so without looking at my two friends, I said, “Can you just leave me the hell alone? I need a minute.”
I listened to them both move, then Rome shut the door with a slam.
I finally dropped my eyes, only to stare at the crimson-carpeted floor.
I knew Rome was only looking out for me, but he couldn’t understand what it was like being so poor you could barely survive each day. He couldn’t understand how a kid could get so hungry he’d raid restaurant trashcans for something to stop the hunger pangs in his stomach. He couldn’t understand when that kid was sick, there were no fancy pills to make him better. There was no health insurance plan that covered drug dealers from the trailer park in the part of town that even God had forgotten about. And he certainly couldn’t understand life within the crew. How once you were in, you were in for life… And he couldn’t understand why I owed Axel everything for getting me the hell out when I was seventeen.
