Whenever I felt scared as a kid—from the Heighters’ deals gone wrong, from the drunks littering the park and shouting angry slurs at the top of their lungs, or a drive-by—I would climb into the seats of my daddy’s old engineless Chevy out back and curl up, listening to the rain bouncing off its roof, shutting my eyes, trying to block out the pain.
It was weird being back here at the beginning of another storm, and with Lexington Hart beside me, of all people… My little emo pixie.
Wait… my emo pixie?
“Are we gonna go in or you planning to sit out here all night?” Lexi suddenly asked, pulling me back from my memories, from my shock at the possession I felt for her. Her voice was a little shaky as she tried to joke, only serving to fuel my protective instincts.
“Yeah,” I replied and faced Lexi as she sat in the driver’s seat, her face almost pressed against the glass of the door, her sleeves pulled down over her palms as she chewed nervously on the nail of her thumb.
“Take off, Pix. I’ll find my own way back,” I told her.
Lexi snapped her head to me and frowned. “No, I’ll wait for you. There’s a helluva storm happening right above our heads in case you haven’t noticed.”
Sighing at her sarcasm, I opened the car door and got out, leaning down to say, “Get out of the car, Pix. You’ll be safer inside. Out here…” I trailed off, flicking my chin in the direction of the park, leaving her to make her own assumptions about what I was trying to say.
Turning to the front door of the trailer, I heard her hurried feet behind me and smirked at how quickly she’d moved. She may’ve been sarcastic and dry just a minute ago, but all that front was gone the minute she was left alone.
As I reached for the doorknob, the door burst open. Levi stood before me, darting his wide eyes around the empty trailer park, rushing me inside with a wave.
That immediately got my hackles up. The kid was shit scared.
“Lev,” I said tightly as I pushed past him through the door. When I looked at his face, I stilled.
“Are you f**kin’ kidding me?” I bit out, my voice sounding as fiery as hell itself. Sitting on the left side of his cheek was a fresh tattooed stidda, the small black Sicilian star of the Westside Heighters. All Heighters were Sicilian in heritage. The stidda was a nod of respect to the Stiddari. A branch of the Sicilian Mafia.
Grabbing Levi’s shirt, I wrenched him closer, demanding, “Did the guy live or did you kill him?”
Levi swayed awkwardly on his feet and muttered, “Lived. Only got hit through his shoulder.”
Releasing Levi’s shirt, I slammed my flat palm against the wall behind his head. “Fuck!”
“That star means you’ve killed or shot someone?” Lexi’s shocked voice sounded beside me, and I almost cussed again. I’d forgotten I’d left out that part of the explanation. Forgotten she knew nothing about this life.
Staring at her shell-shocked face, I admitted, “You get it when you shoot your first member of the Kings. Don’t matter if he survives or dies. It’s about taking the shot for the crew. Proving you’re in this life one hundred percent.”
Lexi’s sleeve-covered palm lifted over her mouth and her eyes grew to the size of the moon. “Have… have you… killed anyone?” Her focus was all on the stidda on my cheek, like she could see the answer if she stared long enough.
Closing my eyes, I tried to stay calm by breathing in real slow through my nose. “I shot someone in the chest. Never knew if it woulda killed him or not.”
“You didn’t stick around to find out?” she whispered anxiously.
I glimpsed at Levi watching me for my answer too, and I shrugged. “Didn’t have to. Axe shot him between the eyes before I ever found out. He was a key member of their crew and he needed to be taken out.”
Water filled Lexi’s eyes, and I felt Levi hang his head. In shame, disappointment? I didn’t wanna know.
“Hello, you must be Levi,” Lexi said, moving on from what I’d just revealed and addressed my brother. I watched Lexi smile at him in easy acceptance. Levi blushed and nodded his head. As Lexi shook his hand, the edge of Levi’s bottom lip sucked in like he always did when he was nervous.
I bent down to Lexi and laid a grateful kiss on her head. I was thankful she was being kind to my brother, but more thankful to God that knowing another element of my f**ked-up past, she hadn’t cut her losses and run.
“Yeah, I am. Who… who are you?” Levi asked Lexi quietly, and I moved out of the way to shut us in the privacy of the trailer and away from prying eyes.
As I watched my fourteen-year-old brother stumble and sputter his introduction, my chest filled with regret. This kid before me was dealing coke. This nervous, bumbling kid was out on the streets, selling snow to junkies. Putting his young life on the line so Mamma could live pain free.
Everything about his life, this life, was so f**kin’ wrong, and I had no idea how the hell to fix it for him.
“My name’s Lexi,” Pix answered and let go of his hand.
Levi looked over Pix’s head to me, then back again, that same damn blush coating his cheeks. Levi wasn’t like Axel. He wasn’t full of confidence, arrogant or rude, thinking he could take on anyone no matter how strong. He wasn’t like me, all jaded, angry at the whole f**kin’ world, and pessimistic to the nth degree. Levi was a thinker; he was quiet, barely saying a word if he wasn’t forced to. Preferred to listen and learn than be the center of attention. He had more natural athletic ability than anyone I’d ever known. And he was smart. Real f**kin’ smart. And because we needed coin for Mamma to live the rest of her days in relative comfort, he was forced to work the streets and put himself in harm’s way.
It was weird being back here at the beginning of another storm, and with Lexington Hart beside me, of all people… My little emo pixie.
Wait… my emo pixie?
“Are we gonna go in or you planning to sit out here all night?” Lexi suddenly asked, pulling me back from my memories, from my shock at the possession I felt for her. Her voice was a little shaky as she tried to joke, only serving to fuel my protective instincts.
“Yeah,” I replied and faced Lexi as she sat in the driver’s seat, her face almost pressed against the glass of the door, her sleeves pulled down over her palms as she chewed nervously on the nail of her thumb.
“Take off, Pix. I’ll find my own way back,” I told her.
Lexi snapped her head to me and frowned. “No, I’ll wait for you. There’s a helluva storm happening right above our heads in case you haven’t noticed.”
Sighing at her sarcasm, I opened the car door and got out, leaning down to say, “Get out of the car, Pix. You’ll be safer inside. Out here…” I trailed off, flicking my chin in the direction of the park, leaving her to make her own assumptions about what I was trying to say.
Turning to the front door of the trailer, I heard her hurried feet behind me and smirked at how quickly she’d moved. She may’ve been sarcastic and dry just a minute ago, but all that front was gone the minute she was left alone.
As I reached for the doorknob, the door burst open. Levi stood before me, darting his wide eyes around the empty trailer park, rushing me inside with a wave.
That immediately got my hackles up. The kid was shit scared.
“Lev,” I said tightly as I pushed past him through the door. When I looked at his face, I stilled.
“Are you f**kin’ kidding me?” I bit out, my voice sounding as fiery as hell itself. Sitting on the left side of his cheek was a fresh tattooed stidda, the small black Sicilian star of the Westside Heighters. All Heighters were Sicilian in heritage. The stidda was a nod of respect to the Stiddari. A branch of the Sicilian Mafia.
Grabbing Levi’s shirt, I wrenched him closer, demanding, “Did the guy live or did you kill him?”
Levi swayed awkwardly on his feet and muttered, “Lived. Only got hit through his shoulder.”
Releasing Levi’s shirt, I slammed my flat palm against the wall behind his head. “Fuck!”
“That star means you’ve killed or shot someone?” Lexi’s shocked voice sounded beside me, and I almost cussed again. I’d forgotten I’d left out that part of the explanation. Forgotten she knew nothing about this life.
Staring at her shell-shocked face, I admitted, “You get it when you shoot your first member of the Kings. Don’t matter if he survives or dies. It’s about taking the shot for the crew. Proving you’re in this life one hundred percent.”
Lexi’s sleeve-covered palm lifted over her mouth and her eyes grew to the size of the moon. “Have… have you… killed anyone?” Her focus was all on the stidda on my cheek, like she could see the answer if she stared long enough.
Closing my eyes, I tried to stay calm by breathing in real slow through my nose. “I shot someone in the chest. Never knew if it woulda killed him or not.”
“You didn’t stick around to find out?” she whispered anxiously.
I glimpsed at Levi watching me for my answer too, and I shrugged. “Didn’t have to. Axe shot him between the eyes before I ever found out. He was a key member of their crew and he needed to be taken out.”
Water filled Lexi’s eyes, and I felt Levi hang his head. In shame, disappointment? I didn’t wanna know.
“Hello, you must be Levi,” Lexi said, moving on from what I’d just revealed and addressed my brother. I watched Lexi smile at him in easy acceptance. Levi blushed and nodded his head. As Lexi shook his hand, the edge of Levi’s bottom lip sucked in like he always did when he was nervous.
I bent down to Lexi and laid a grateful kiss on her head. I was thankful she was being kind to my brother, but more thankful to God that knowing another element of my f**ked-up past, she hadn’t cut her losses and run.
“Yeah, I am. Who… who are you?” Levi asked Lexi quietly, and I moved out of the way to shut us in the privacy of the trailer and away from prying eyes.
As I watched my fourteen-year-old brother stumble and sputter his introduction, my chest filled with regret. This kid before me was dealing coke. This nervous, bumbling kid was out on the streets, selling snow to junkies. Putting his young life on the line so Mamma could live pain free.
Everything about his life, this life, was so f**kin’ wrong, and I had no idea how the hell to fix it for him.
“My name’s Lexi,” Pix answered and let go of his hand.
Levi looked over Pix’s head to me, then back again, that same damn blush coating his cheeks. Levi wasn’t like Axel. He wasn’t full of confidence, arrogant or rude, thinking he could take on anyone no matter how strong. He wasn’t like me, all jaded, angry at the whole f**kin’ world, and pessimistic to the nth degree. Levi was a thinker; he was quiet, barely saying a word if he wasn’t forced to. Preferred to listen and learn than be the center of attention. He had more natural athletic ability than anyone I’d ever known. And he was smart. Real f**kin’ smart. And because we needed coin for Mamma to live the rest of her days in relative comfort, he was forced to work the streets and put himself in harm’s way.
