Sweet Little Memories
Page 15

Lying back, I closed my eyes and enjoyed the warmth of the water. My body was tired and my thoughts quickly began to ease and drift. Drowsily, I realized I was beginning to dream and forced my eyes open. I’d never gone to sleep in the bath before. Last nights events must be catching up to me.
My lack of sleep could also be contributed to my emotions. I sat up and started to wash my body deciding I needed to get some sleep before Stone got home. If he wanted a repeat of last night, I was on board. However, in order to keep up with him I needed sleep. At the thought of grabbing a nap, I yawned and my eyes watered. Jeez, I was tired.
I quickly finished and dried my body with a towel. I felt so out of sorts. Reasons for my off behavior ran through my head. I smiled when I realized it was probably time for my period. I paused and did the math in my head but it didn’t seem right. Thinking harder I counted the days but once again it was wrong. It couldn’t have been thirty-six days since my last period. I was a twenty-eight days on the mark girl. Never a day early or late.
My heart began to thud more rapidly in my chest. I wrapped the towel around me and searched for my phone. I needed to see my phone calendar because I had marked down the first day of my last period. I always marked the calendar so I knew when to expect my next one. Each step I took to my phone, my mind began assaulting me with what ifs I tried to slap away and push back.
When I grabbed my phone, my hand was trembling. I was shaking as I unlocked the screen and scrolled for the calendar app. There was a moment of pause before I clicked it. I wasn’t sure I wanted to see. I wasn’t sure I was ready if I wasn’t wrong. Too much would be in the balance. I began to sweat as I lowered my thumb to press the small calendar app and it opened in front of me.
I closed my eyes and whispered a brief “please no” to God or whoever was out there listening.
With the panic causing my blood to pound through my veins so loudly I could hear it in my ears, I opened my eyes. The moment they focused and I studied the dates in front of me, I knew.
I don’t know when I sat down. The floor had to be cold, but I didn’t notice. My knees buckled and I went down like a tree falling. I was sitting on the floor staring at the phone in my hand. My mind was racing and my heart was beating so rapidly that my breathing became erratic.
All I could think about was a little boy who needed saving from a monster. Stone was facing the hardest battle of his life. The darkness from his past clawed away at his mind so much it haunted him. He was ready to save that little boy.
This was not what he needed. It was bad timing—the worst.
We had both known. When we chose to get lost in the pleasure, take a chance, we had been aware that this could happen. I hadn’t thought about the consequences, and as the truth sank in, I wasn’t thinking about them now.
I dropped my phone into my lap and touched my stomach with both hands. If there was a child inside, if we had created a life, I would love and cherish it. I’d never let my child believe I hadn’t wanted it or that it hadn’t been planned.
I wasn’t sure I could stay here. My trust in Stone wasn’t as strong as I thought it was.
At this moment, I couldn’t say with certainty that I trusted him to want . . . this baby.
 
 
Stone
I DIDN’T WAKE BEULAH WHEN I finally got home. I hadn’t planned on being so late, but my flight had been delayed for three hours.
When I walked in at midnight, she was curled up in the bed in the room I’d given her instead of mine. I didn’t want to risk moving and waking her, so I had climbed into bed with her. In her sleep, she had curled up against me and mumbled something I didn’t understand.
She would expect an explanation this morning. As well she should. I had planned on recapping my evening when I arrived home. However, the flight delay kept me from that conversation until this morning.
The coffee perked and the smell filled the kitchen as I watched the sun slowly rise through the windows. It was something I was accustomed to. Standing in a kitchen, drinking my coffee as the sun comes up. The difference was I had a woman I loved in bed. I should be in bed with her still.
My eyes had barely closed all night. Instead, I was going through all the different scenarios that could transpire when the results from the DNA test came back. From the moment Wills came home from the hospital, he had felt like my sibling. But I’d always felt the weight on my shoulders that he could be my child. The reality I was forced to accept was that Hilda had decided my father would be Wills’ father. Even after he beat her ass when she’d confronted him about sleeping with the college-aged daughter of one of his clients.
The designer clothing line that filled our stores should have been more important than a fucking vagina. Virginia was as empty-headed as a spoiled heiress could be, but my father hadn’t been able to keep his hands off her. Now she was my stepmother. Hilda was thirty-seven and as far as my father was concerned she was over the hill.
I’d hoped she would at least seek revenge when he had divorced her. She hadn’t. She’d taken his threats to heart and given up on being a mother to Wills. Disgusted with my train of thought, I grabbed a cup more aggressively than needed and poured my first cup of coffee.
I couldn’t change Hilda. I couldn’t rewind to before I had slept with her. That was done. And Wills was here.
“What time did you get home?” Beulah’s voice was still raspy from sleep. I’d been so wrapped up in my thoughts I hadn’t heard her in the kitchen behind me. That wasn’t like me. I was normally very attune to everything around me. I turned to see her standing there in her faded and worn pink pajamas. Her mother had given them to her and she wore them for security. I realized she must have needed them last night and I knew it was my fault.
I sat my cup down and walked to her. “Midnight. I didn’t realize it would be so late or I would have called.”
She didn’t relax. There was tension in her shoulders. As if she needed to protect herself. I slid a hand around her waist and pulled her to me before pressing a kiss to the top of her head. Still the stiffness remained.
“I went to see Hilda. My flight was delayed three hours. I expected to be home by nine. I was going to tell you all about when I came home, but that wasn’t how it went.”
She tilted her head back and gazed up at me. “Is she going to help?” Although her body remained tense she was truly concerned. Her eyes were so damn expressive she didn’t need to speak for me to know what she was thinking.