Like ink it is black, polluting the light,
The words manifest, one goal in its sight.
The skin shreds away, leaving naught but bone,
It rips away life, leaving fear on its own.
It sweeps through the mind, taking happiness and soul,
With talons like razors, it moves, dipping low.
It creeps down the neck, tears the body apart,
The darkness consumes, the last bastion: the heart.
It wraps it in vines, strangling its breath,
It pierces with needles, no beat there is left.
The blood, it runs deep, its shell empty and bare,
The claws shred and they maim, ‘til there’s nothing left there.
The darkness it smiles, the weak they can’t cope,
Then it moves to the next, to victor cruelty, not hope.”
I breathed through my nose as I saw Clara’s eyes leave the page, and she ran her fingers over the words, to victor cruelty, not hope… to victor cruelty, not hope… to victor cruelty, not hope…
She traced the words three times, then pointed to herself. My skin crawled with a feeling, the feeling of knowing. I knew what that line meant. I had lived it. Was living it still, as was she.
“Cruelty,” she signed. “That’s what they do. They use cruelty to hurt, until all hope fades away.”
“But you can fight it,” I signed, and Clara tipped her head to the side.
“Did you fight it? Have you fought it?” she asked, and I dropped my hands.
She smiled sadly, then pointed back at the last two words… not hope…
Clara stared at that poem so hard that I took the notepad and ripped out the page. Her brown eyes widened in surprise as I placed the paper on her lap. She shook her head, and went to lift her hands. I stopped them from moving, my hands over hers. She focused on my mouth. “It’s yours,” I said, and watched her read my lips.
She dipped her eyes and said, “Thank… you…” My heart filled with light as the heavenly sound of her stuttered monotone voice filled my ear.
“You’re welcome,” I mouthed back and squeezed at her hand.
I heard the sound of Lexi’s heels coming down the hallway to take me home, so I could dress for the dinner tonight.
Sitting back, I signed, “Are you okay, Clara? I have to go.”
Clara inhaled a long deep breath, then she smiled. She smiled. And it wasn’t fake or even small. She smiled showing me her teeth and she nodded her head.
She lifted the poem in her hand, then put it back down and signed, “This gives me hope. Thank you.”
I saw Lexi enter the doorway, and I got to my feet. For the first time since I started coming here, I had gotten through to Clara.
My pain had helped. My words had shown her she was not alone.
Her reaction showed me I was not alone.
“I’ll see you tomorrow, Clara, okay?”
Clara reached up and caught my hand, squeezing my fingers. Nodding, I pressed a kiss to the top of her head, then walked toward Lexi who was smiling at me with pride.
We walked down the hallway, and when we got into the car, Lexi turned to me. “You had a breakthrough?” she asked. Smiling, I nodded my head.
“It was one of my poems. It helped her.”
Lexi’s head tipped to the side. “You write poems?”
I hesitated, not realizing that I had given a secret away, but I answered honestly. “Yes.”
“You’re quite the remarkable girl, Elsie,” Lexi announced, and patted my leg. “I’m real glad you saw progress with Clara, it helps open them up to talking. It’s the first step, Elsie. You should be proud.”
We rode home and all the way there I felt changed inside. I’d helped someone see they weren’t alone. Even the nerves that were threatening to rise at the trepidation of tonight, couldn’t steal this positive feeling.
Maybe, I thought, maybe there is a place for me in this world after all.
Chapter Fourteen
Elsie
“Just hold it there for one more second,” Ally said as she ran the powder brush over my forehead and cheeks, one more time. I held still, the fat brush bristles tickling my nose. Ally stepped back, her bright smile taking over her face. Her brown eyes softened. “You look beautiful, darlin’, I’d kill for that skin of yours.”
I blushed at her compliment, getting to my feet when Lexi walked into the pool house. Lexi stopped, then she looked at me and put her hand over her chest. “Elsie,” she said gently. “You look stunning.”
I glanced down at my gold dress which Ally had taken me out to buy, the tight strapless sweetheart bodice, running into a flowing net skirt that fell to mid-thigh. I was in heels—I’d had to practice walking in them—and my hair was down my back in big thick curls.
Ally’s hands landed lightly on my shoulders. “Take a look at your makeup, Elsie. I’ve kept it light seeing as you don’t really need a lot to begin with.”
Doing as she said, I looked in the mirror she held in her hands, and I swallowed. I looked so different. I wanted Levi to like it.
“Well?” Ally asked, concern in her expression.
I pressed my hand over my chest. “Thank you, it’s beautiful.” Ally beamed in response, and she handed me a gold beaded bag.
“You’re all set,” she said. I headed for the door. Levi was waiting in the main house with his brothers. I’d already seen him in his team suit, and as always, he looked breathtakingly handsome. Then again, no matter what he wore, one look at his kind face and my heart skipped beat.
The wind was blowing stronger as the night rolled on. I took the thick, cream dress coat that Lexi had lent me and held it close. I rushed over the yard, not wanting to mess up all of Ally’s good work. I almost ran through the back kitchen door.
The sound of voices that filled the kitchen suddenly dropped when I entered. I looked up, wondering why the Carillo brothers had gone silent, when I saw Levi step up from leaning against the kitchen island, his hand gripping tightly the bottle in his hand.
I dragged in a slow breath when I saw that he was staring at me, his gray eyes scanning my body, only to soften when they landed on my face. I cut a glance to Austin and Axel, to see them smiling at Levi; the two darker brothers, stood side by side, watching the youngest with amusement in their eyes.
“Elsie,” Levi said roughly, as he placed his bottle down. He made his way toward me, a warm blush dusting the apples of his cheeks. My heart beat wildly as he approached. When he stopped before me, his hand went on my cheek—a single touch that assured me he cherished me—and I nuzzled into his palm. “You look so beautiful,” he rasped. I heard the back door open, slicing through the heavy atmosphere we found ourselves in.
“Well?” I heard Ally ask in a loud voice. “What do you think, Lev?”
Levi dropped his hand and looked over my shoulder. “She looks incredible,” he said shyly, then added, “but then she always does.”
“Aww,” Ally crooned and pressed a kiss to Levi’s cheek as she passed on her way to get to her fiancé. She stopped by Axel’s side, and she nudged him in the side. “You could take some tips from your little brother, querido.”
Axel pulled her closer into his chest, rolling his dark eyes. Ally laughed, wrapping her arm around his waist.
The words manifest, one goal in its sight.
The skin shreds away, leaving naught but bone,
It rips away life, leaving fear on its own.
It sweeps through the mind, taking happiness and soul,
With talons like razors, it moves, dipping low.
It creeps down the neck, tears the body apart,
The darkness consumes, the last bastion: the heart.
It wraps it in vines, strangling its breath,
It pierces with needles, no beat there is left.
The blood, it runs deep, its shell empty and bare,
The claws shred and they maim, ‘til there’s nothing left there.
The darkness it smiles, the weak they can’t cope,
Then it moves to the next, to victor cruelty, not hope.”
I breathed through my nose as I saw Clara’s eyes leave the page, and she ran her fingers over the words, to victor cruelty, not hope… to victor cruelty, not hope… to victor cruelty, not hope…
She traced the words three times, then pointed to herself. My skin crawled with a feeling, the feeling of knowing. I knew what that line meant. I had lived it. Was living it still, as was she.
“Cruelty,” she signed. “That’s what they do. They use cruelty to hurt, until all hope fades away.”
“But you can fight it,” I signed, and Clara tipped her head to the side.
“Did you fight it? Have you fought it?” she asked, and I dropped my hands.
She smiled sadly, then pointed back at the last two words… not hope…
Clara stared at that poem so hard that I took the notepad and ripped out the page. Her brown eyes widened in surprise as I placed the paper on her lap. She shook her head, and went to lift her hands. I stopped them from moving, my hands over hers. She focused on my mouth. “It’s yours,” I said, and watched her read my lips.
She dipped her eyes and said, “Thank… you…” My heart filled with light as the heavenly sound of her stuttered monotone voice filled my ear.
“You’re welcome,” I mouthed back and squeezed at her hand.
I heard the sound of Lexi’s heels coming down the hallway to take me home, so I could dress for the dinner tonight.
Sitting back, I signed, “Are you okay, Clara? I have to go.”
Clara inhaled a long deep breath, then she smiled. She smiled. And it wasn’t fake or even small. She smiled showing me her teeth and she nodded her head.
She lifted the poem in her hand, then put it back down and signed, “This gives me hope. Thank you.”
I saw Lexi enter the doorway, and I got to my feet. For the first time since I started coming here, I had gotten through to Clara.
My pain had helped. My words had shown her she was not alone.
Her reaction showed me I was not alone.
“I’ll see you tomorrow, Clara, okay?”
Clara reached up and caught my hand, squeezing my fingers. Nodding, I pressed a kiss to the top of her head, then walked toward Lexi who was smiling at me with pride.
We walked down the hallway, and when we got into the car, Lexi turned to me. “You had a breakthrough?” she asked. Smiling, I nodded my head.
“It was one of my poems. It helped her.”
Lexi’s head tipped to the side. “You write poems?”
I hesitated, not realizing that I had given a secret away, but I answered honestly. “Yes.”
“You’re quite the remarkable girl, Elsie,” Lexi announced, and patted my leg. “I’m real glad you saw progress with Clara, it helps open them up to talking. It’s the first step, Elsie. You should be proud.”
We rode home and all the way there I felt changed inside. I’d helped someone see they weren’t alone. Even the nerves that were threatening to rise at the trepidation of tonight, couldn’t steal this positive feeling.
Maybe, I thought, maybe there is a place for me in this world after all.
Chapter Fourteen
Elsie
“Just hold it there for one more second,” Ally said as she ran the powder brush over my forehead and cheeks, one more time. I held still, the fat brush bristles tickling my nose. Ally stepped back, her bright smile taking over her face. Her brown eyes softened. “You look beautiful, darlin’, I’d kill for that skin of yours.”
I blushed at her compliment, getting to my feet when Lexi walked into the pool house. Lexi stopped, then she looked at me and put her hand over her chest. “Elsie,” she said gently. “You look stunning.”
I glanced down at my gold dress which Ally had taken me out to buy, the tight strapless sweetheart bodice, running into a flowing net skirt that fell to mid-thigh. I was in heels—I’d had to practice walking in them—and my hair was down my back in big thick curls.
Ally’s hands landed lightly on my shoulders. “Take a look at your makeup, Elsie. I’ve kept it light seeing as you don’t really need a lot to begin with.”
Doing as she said, I looked in the mirror she held in her hands, and I swallowed. I looked so different. I wanted Levi to like it.
“Well?” Ally asked, concern in her expression.
I pressed my hand over my chest. “Thank you, it’s beautiful.” Ally beamed in response, and she handed me a gold beaded bag.
“You’re all set,” she said. I headed for the door. Levi was waiting in the main house with his brothers. I’d already seen him in his team suit, and as always, he looked breathtakingly handsome. Then again, no matter what he wore, one look at his kind face and my heart skipped beat.
The wind was blowing stronger as the night rolled on. I took the thick, cream dress coat that Lexi had lent me and held it close. I rushed over the yard, not wanting to mess up all of Ally’s good work. I almost ran through the back kitchen door.
The sound of voices that filled the kitchen suddenly dropped when I entered. I looked up, wondering why the Carillo brothers had gone silent, when I saw Levi step up from leaning against the kitchen island, his hand gripping tightly the bottle in his hand.
I dragged in a slow breath when I saw that he was staring at me, his gray eyes scanning my body, only to soften when they landed on my face. I cut a glance to Austin and Axel, to see them smiling at Levi; the two darker brothers, stood side by side, watching the youngest with amusement in their eyes.
“Elsie,” Levi said roughly, as he placed his bottle down. He made his way toward me, a warm blush dusting the apples of his cheeks. My heart beat wildly as he approached. When he stopped before me, his hand went on my cheek—a single touch that assured me he cherished me—and I nuzzled into his palm. “You look so beautiful,” he rasped. I heard the back door open, slicing through the heavy atmosphere we found ourselves in.
“Well?” I heard Ally ask in a loud voice. “What do you think, Lev?”
Levi dropped his hand and looked over my shoulder. “She looks incredible,” he said shyly, then added, “but then she always does.”
“Aww,” Ally crooned and pressed a kiss to Levi’s cheek as she passed on her way to get to her fiancé. She stopped by Axel’s side, and she nudged him in the side. “You could take some tips from your little brother, querido.”
Axel pulled her closer into his chest, rolling his dark eyes. Ally laughed, wrapping her arm around his waist.
