“Don’t say that. I’m proud of him.” His success makes the pain worthwhile. I recline my head on his arm since I’m too short to reach his shoulder. A long time ago, the mention of his name alone would have been like a knife to the heart. Not a day goes by when it doesn’t hurt, but at least I can look at his pictures and read about him without falling apart. “I’m going to miss you, Phoenix.”
“I’m going to miss you, too, Blaire.”
Back at work, I’m folding some dress shirts in the men’s department when a customer asks me to look up a sweater in a particular size. I take the item from his hands and head to the register. Distracted with my mind in Paris, I bump into a solid chest.
“Beg your pardon,” I apologize as I look up, beginning to move away.
The moment my eyes land on the man standing in front of me, I swear my heart stops beating momentarily. The world feels as though it stops spinning, and everything hangs in complete stillness.
“Blaire?”
Weak in the knees, I feel like I’m about to pass out. “Hello, Lawrence.”
Lawrence
STANDING IN FRONT OF ME is the woman who still haunts me in my dreams.
“Hello. I see that some things haven’t changed,” I say, attempting to smile but even that smile tastes bitter on my tongue.
She flinches as a blush rich in color spreads across her porcelain skin. Blaire, enchantress and tormentor, remains so beautiful even after all this time. “Actually, I work here.”
Surprised at her response, I begin to notice small changes in her appearance that at first didn’t register in my mind. Her long black hair is out of place, her clothes a little shabby, the color faded, and a pink watch on her wrist. But it’s the soft light in her eyes that arrests my attention. The hard, cynical look is missing.
And she takes my breath away.
Gone is the girl with the embittered smile that never quite reached her eyes. There’s no hardness left in her womanly body. She’s a stranger who is far lovelier than her counterpart ever was.
“Forgive me for assuming that—”
“No need to apologize, Lawrence.” She lowers her gaze to the floor, depriving me of seeing her face. It makes me want to rage, to take her in my arms and beg her not to ever look away from me again. I’ve gone so long without it already.
“You haven’t forgiven me, have you?” she asks sadly, the words almost whispered.
Instinctively, I reach out to touch her but stop myself just in time. I lower my hand, burying it in my pocket. “The past belongs in the past.” I’ve forgiven you, but I haven’t been able to forget you.
She remains silent.
“Have lunch with me.” The words come out unbidden from somewhere deep inside me as I stare at her profile, willing her to make eye contact with me.
She looks up then. Her eyes widen in surprise. “I can’t.”
I’m a fucking fool. What did I expect? That she would come running into my arms? “I see … Well, it was great seeing you. I better go—”
“But I can do dinner,” she adds quickly.
Blaire
I arrive at a small Italian restaurant of Lawrence’s choice. There can’t be more than ten tables. I stand on my tiptoes and look for him, finding him sitting all the way at the back, away from the crowd. When our eyes connect, we both smile at the same time. He stands as I make my way to him. Even after all this time, my heart still skips a beat at the sight of his rare smiles.
Lawrence places a hand on the small of my back as he leans in and kisses my cheek. The moment his mouth comes into contact with my skin, a shiver runs down my spine. Funny how my body hasn’t forgotten what it’s like to be touched by him.
“I’m going to miss you, too, Blaire.”
Back at work, I’m folding some dress shirts in the men’s department when a customer asks me to look up a sweater in a particular size. I take the item from his hands and head to the register. Distracted with my mind in Paris, I bump into a solid chest.
“Beg your pardon,” I apologize as I look up, beginning to move away.
The moment my eyes land on the man standing in front of me, I swear my heart stops beating momentarily. The world feels as though it stops spinning, and everything hangs in complete stillness.
“Blaire?”
Weak in the knees, I feel like I’m about to pass out. “Hello, Lawrence.”
Lawrence
STANDING IN FRONT OF ME is the woman who still haunts me in my dreams.
“Hello. I see that some things haven’t changed,” I say, attempting to smile but even that smile tastes bitter on my tongue.
She flinches as a blush rich in color spreads across her porcelain skin. Blaire, enchantress and tormentor, remains so beautiful even after all this time. “Actually, I work here.”
Surprised at her response, I begin to notice small changes in her appearance that at first didn’t register in my mind. Her long black hair is out of place, her clothes a little shabby, the color faded, and a pink watch on her wrist. But it’s the soft light in her eyes that arrests my attention. The hard, cynical look is missing.
And she takes my breath away.
Gone is the girl with the embittered smile that never quite reached her eyes. There’s no hardness left in her womanly body. She’s a stranger who is far lovelier than her counterpart ever was.
“Forgive me for assuming that—”
“No need to apologize, Lawrence.” She lowers her gaze to the floor, depriving me of seeing her face. It makes me want to rage, to take her in my arms and beg her not to ever look away from me again. I’ve gone so long without it already.
“You haven’t forgiven me, have you?” she asks sadly, the words almost whispered.
Instinctively, I reach out to touch her but stop myself just in time. I lower my hand, burying it in my pocket. “The past belongs in the past.” I’ve forgiven you, but I haven’t been able to forget you.
She remains silent.
“Have lunch with me.” The words come out unbidden from somewhere deep inside me as I stare at her profile, willing her to make eye contact with me.
She looks up then. Her eyes widen in surprise. “I can’t.”
I’m a fucking fool. What did I expect? That she would come running into my arms? “I see … Well, it was great seeing you. I better go—”
“But I can do dinner,” she adds quickly.
Blaire
I arrive at a small Italian restaurant of Lawrence’s choice. There can’t be more than ten tables. I stand on my tiptoes and look for him, finding him sitting all the way at the back, away from the crowd. When our eyes connect, we both smile at the same time. He stands as I make my way to him. Even after all this time, my heart still skips a beat at the sight of his rare smiles.
Lawrence places a hand on the small of my back as he leans in and kisses my cheek. The moment his mouth comes into contact with my skin, a shiver runs down my spine. Funny how my body hasn’t forgotten what it’s like to be touched by him.
